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  1. #61
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    Thank you kasjordan!

    The assumptions, judgement and self-congratulation on this thread are staggering!


    5 members found this post helpful.

  2. #62
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    Nov. 29, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by chancellor2 View Post
    No one is saying you shouldn't accompany your child.
    The meaning of the above statement, seems to have the opposite meaning of the statement below.

    But do you really need to drive your SUV which gets 7 gallons to the mile down the driveway?
    You want to talk about social problems? Childhood obesity is one of them and it is because no one walks anymore (including me). God forbid your little darling get cold....or wet....or whatever. Better to incovenience everyone on the road because little Johnny can't walk to the a communal bus stop!
    I think one can point to more problematic causes for childhood obesity and commuter gridlock, then parents caring enough about their kids to see them safely to a bus.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  3. #63
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    Aug. 12, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by MunchingonHay View Post
    a number of you are stating that it is a rule from the school or the county that there needs to be a parent or guardian at the bus stop. Kids get out of school at 3 and are home by 4 how is it possible for a parent to be at work if their kids do not get the bus till 8-8:30 and return before 5? Its impossible! How do they expect parents to make ends meet of one is forced to work part time because of some rule the school makes them follow. What if they do not have grandparents around or other family members to fill in? Now they have to pay a babysitter to come and pick up the child.

    I guess I am a little jaded because I actually walked to the bus stop for all of my 12 years in school and stand out in the snow and rain (grew up outside of philly). We also took care of ourselves of we came home and my mom was not there.

    I do feel to a degree that the younger generations are a bit soft because of the coulda's that may or may not happen. Its like they are wrapped in bubble wrap. and I only do that to my warmblood
    Our schools only require someone at the bus stop to receive kids until first grade (doesn't have to be a parent, can be an older sibling), after that it is not required. The recreation department runs after school programs at the elementary schools. No one is going to have a kindergartner take the bus home to an empty house, so that's not an issue. I still don't have my 10 year old coming home to an empty house...he goes to the after school program and I pick him up there. I'll let kids skip after school and take the bus home starting around age 12, depending on maturity level and how late I'll be home.

    There are 12 years between my boys, so they are both effectively only children, coming home alone to an empty house. If my older boy were still at home (he's grown and gone), I'd certainly let the 10 year old come home alone to a house with his brother home, but it's empty.



  4. #64
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    Aug. 15, 2009
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    Knoxville, TN
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    Quote Originally Posted by kasjordan View Post
    Maybe while they're sitting in their vehicle they are conversing with their offspring? Maybe they wonder why the person on the horse is wasting their time with a "dumb animal"? To each their own. Lots of people complain (me included!) that parents don't spend enough time with their kids anymore, yet there's complaining that they are wasting their time sitting with them every morning. To each their own is what it comes down to.
    Exactly. So, I sit at the bus stop for 15 minutes alone with my son? Why would you care? I got up at 6 to feed my horses. He cleaned stalls before the ride to the bus. I work until 5, and he has to be at a ball game by 5:15. He has algebra homework, and I'm doing a pick-up for our local horse rescue tonight. That 15 minutes of quiet time we had this morning hurt you HOW?


    7 members found this post helpful.

  5. #65
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    Nov. 1, 2005
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    The Prairie
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    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    This is like the mother who left one of her children strapped into a car seat in a running vehicle parked 30 feet away while she took the other two children to bring their saved change to donate to the Salvation Army santa on the sidewalk.
    She was arrested.

    I am telling you, I would not be able to successfully raise a child to adulthood in this country without having it taken away.
    I appreciate that sounds ridiculous but someone in our city strapped their child into the car seat of a car sitting in their driveway of their very upscale neighbourhood, popped back into the house to get something and by the time they came back out someone had stolen the car and driven off with the child still on the car. A few blocks later the thief realized the child was in the car so they took the kid out and left the 3 yr old child by himself on the road. Someone looked out their window, saw a toddler on the road by himself and rescued him.

    99.8% of the time nothing will happen but who wants to be the parent who is in the wrong place at the wrong time for the .2 percent?

    I will add though, we must have nicer school bus drivers around here; almost everyone I end up behind pulls over to let me pass when they realize I am behind them and they will be making a lot of stops.
    I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  6. #66
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    Mar. 10, 2009
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    The buses themselves scare me. They have the right of way in so many circumstances that it makes a few of the drivers foolhardy. They WILL cut in front of you with inches to spare, or pull out in your lane causing you to brake hard.



  7. #67
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    Apr. 17, 2002
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    It just stands out as a real time-eater when the bus stops at every other house. I know I notice it when I'm trying to commute. I wish there was a more efficient way. I don't really begrudge the parents- much of my route I'm mixed in with log trucks and tri axle dump trucks on county roads. Not an environment conducive to just chucking them out there to wait.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #68
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    Apr. 16, 2002
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    ontario, canada
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    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    For reals.
    Maybe re-look at the picture I provided to document the phenomenon.

    One person has gotten up to ride a training horse before work.
    She notices, while riding around and around this same field in obviously brisk weather day after day, that other people are spending the same time she is spending on a horse exercising and working toward goals, sitting inside a running vehicle after deigning to self-ambulate down the driveway.

    Now who has "so little going on in their life?"
    There are lots of things I wonder about, but I guess I give people the benefit of the doubt and assume there is a reasonable reason for the decisions that they make. Sure, it could just be that the parents are lazy. Or it might be that the parent has some physical issue that makes waiting around in the cold a no-go, or maybe this is one of the few quiet moments that this parent can spend with his/her kid. I actually have some pretty fond memories of hanging out with my Dad while waiting for the bus to appear when it was running late. I'd be ready - dressed, lunch packed, and all the usual rushing around was done. It was a good time to chat in the kitchen before my younger siblings got up and caused chaos. If I'd been sent down to the end of a driveway to wait it out, I might not have gotten any one-on-one time that day.

    Note - Since I lived on a dead-end road, I would see the bus go by before it turned around and stopped to pick me up.

    I confess that I don't understand the car in the good weather, especially with little kids who probably have extra energy to burn off, but again...I try and assume that there are valid reasons.

    I was actually considering getting a dog last year, and asked one of the neighbours if their teenaged daughter would be willing to earn some extra bucks and walk it after school when I was caught at work. Her parents nicely explained that she would love to do so in the warmer months, but that her Renaud disorder would make it a no-go in the winter. Suddenly, I understand why that kid gets driven to the local high school rather than walking.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #69
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    Quote Originally Posted by kasjordan View Post
    Maybe while they're sitting in their vehicle they are conversing with their offspring? Maybe they wonder why the person on the horse is wasting their time with a "dumb animal"? To each their own. Lots of people complain (me included!) that parents don't spend enough time with their kids anymore, yet there's complaining that they are wasting their time sitting with them every morning. To each their own is what it comes down to.
    More likely child is busy with whatever electronic device he's not allowed to have in school. And parent is busy with smartphone.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  10. #70
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    Aug. 12, 2010
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    Westford, Massachusetts
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mara View Post
    The buses themselves scare me. They have the right of way in so many circumstances that it makes a few of the drivers foolhardy. They WILL cut in front of you with inches to spare, or pull out in your lane causing you to brake hard.
    Complain to whoever is responsible for your town's bus service...it may or may not do any good, but they need to know. Our town's bus driver's are pretty good, but I almost got creamed by a bus from another town (passing through ours), he blew through a yield sign and would have taken out me and the car behind me, if we hadn't been paying very careful attention. I called that town and bitched about it, never heard back, but I hope they did something...the bus was full of kids too.



  11. #71
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    Aug. 9, 2007
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    In case you haven't noticed, children are being snatched by predators from the kids' own homes. Much less driveways and on the way to school. It was the same back in olden times, when I was a kid and my mother either waited at the bus stop with all of us, or drove us to school. (My parents were terrified that I'd be snatched, and that was before all the media coverage of kidnapping/molestations/killings of kids. My parents were right, as usual.)

    I tried a case back in 1982 when one of my similar transactions was a high school kid who missed her school bus and was walking to school. She was snatched off the street at 8am. By a big adult predator who raped her. She, a high school cheerleader and honor student, was told by a wimpy ADA in my office that it was "best to plead the rapist to 12 months to serve, a misdemeanor." The guy raped a NY nurse visiting in Atlanta, was tried, convicted, and......let out of jail on a screwed up work by another ADA and his crazy judge. The fact that both victims were black did make a difference in what the 2 white male prosecutors, and white male judges, did with the case. Then I got the dude. My victim was at a jazz concert, was using alcohol and snorting coke with her boyfriend who was in the army. She was abducted and raped by the same guy, a stranger to all of the 3 victims. God only knows how many women did not come forward. I called both of the previous victims and yelled "help me," I need similar transactions. Nailed the bastard, and he's in for "life."

    Children, and women, and even grown men, are at risk in their homes, in their driveways waiting for the school bus, and on the streets in brought daylight,. I don't blame any parent. I couldn't ride my bicycle out of the driveway, but my parents trusted my 2 horses to protect me from anyone anywhere in Savannah. Also helped to have a father who was a crack shot with any gun and who was known by everyone back then around here.

    Every child, in the cities and countryside, is at risk fro predators at anytime of the day or night. The fact that the media could not spread all of the information way back when, has been changed, and people now know to be careful. The Lindbergh baby abduction was just one killing that was publicized. There were many more. OP, I do not believe that you were born in the USA, right? You don't know just how dangerous our society is here.

    I am careful about the safety of my dogs and cats and horses. People with children should be just as obsessed about their safety.
    Last edited by cloudyandcallie; Apr. 2, 2013 at 03:28 PM.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #72
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    Jun. 7, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    I appreciate that sounds ridiculous but someone in our city strapped their child into the car seat of a car sitting in their driveway of their very upscale neighbourhood, popped back into the house to get something and by the time they came back out someone had stolen the car and driven off with the child still on the car. A few blocks later the thief realized the child was in the car so they took the kid out and left the 3 yr old child by himself on the road. Someone looked out their window, saw a toddler on the road by himself and rescued him.

    99.8% of the time nothing will happen but who wants to be the parent who is in the wrong place at the wrong time for the .2 percent?
    I categorically refuse to live my life in fear of the .2 percent. (Which, statistically, is not even .2 percent. It is more like .00000....2 percent.)

    I walked on sidewalks and crossed streets over a mile to summer camp by myself when I was 11. I flew as an Unaccompanied Minor to Australia, got taken by car to a hotel, ordered room service and waited for my parents to arrive from their travels the next morning when I was 12. When I got sent to German relatives/friends for a month at a time in the summer the family kids would usually still have a few weeks of school left. I would go along with them, and no kidding all of the kids boarded REGULAR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION (not special school busses but regular busses with adults and old people and people going to work and twenty somethings coming home from a night out on the town) to get to school. Once I had my driver's license in highschool and could get groceries by myself and drive myself to school, my parents left me home alone for weeks at a time while they travelled.

    Someone lectured me on COTH once for the fact that I ride alone in the barn at 11pm. Not, what if you fall and no one is there but some scary man could come in and who knows what. I can not imagine living my life in such fear, I think it would be debilitatingly awful.

    However, since the law now LEGISLATES for the .00000000002 percent, it is impossible for people like me to raise children without getting arrested. Other parents will approach me and wonder why I let my children do x y or z. Even when I was a kid other parents would ask me how my parents could let me bike by myself 15 miles to the barn by myself at age 14. I am aware of this and thus will choose not to have children.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  13. #73
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    Nov. 20, 2003
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    Wisconsin
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    Eh...I just let my kids take my car down to the end of my long driveway to wait for the bus. (Then I walk down to get my car when I leave for work). They do walk back up the driveway after school though....since I am still at work for another hour or so.
    Things Take Time


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #74
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    Nov. 24, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mara View Post
    More likely child is busy with whatever electronic device he's not allowed to have in school. And parent is busy with smartphone.
    Really?! Sorry if your parents didn't spend time talking with you. My daughter talks my ear off.
    Kerri


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #75
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    Mar. 29, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by alterhorse View Post
    The meaning of the above statement, seems to have the opposite meaning of the statement below.



    I think one can point to more problematic causes for childhood obesity and commuter gridlock, then parents caring enough about their kids to see them safely to a bus.
    I am simply saying you CAN accompany your child to the bus stop. WALK WITH THE KID. You don't need to be in the car to be with your child. No, really, you don't.


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  16. #76
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    a number of you are stating that it is a rule from the school or the county that there needs to be a parent or guardian at the bus stop. Kids get out of school at 3 and are home by 4 how is it possible for a parent to be at work if their kids do not get the bus till 8-8:30 and return before 5? Its impossible! How do they expect parents to make ends meet of one is forced to work part time because of some rule the school makes them follow. What if they do not have grandparents around or other family members to fill in? Now they have to pay a babysitter to come and pick up the child.
    Places have that rule for children up to a certain age. Not over that age. So I would really hope that a 2nd grader is not getting off a bus and walking to an empty house. If the child is being brought home and not to a secondary care center, under a certain age there legally has to be an older person there.

    I don't know about other areas, but here there are buses that go from the schools to daycares in some towns/cities. Here in my town we have after school care at the schools. And the late buses take the children home on either the 4:30 or 5:30 late buses. And yes, at that time the adult has to show that they are home since the state will arrest anyone dropping off a young child to en empty house. And that goes for every state. You cannot leave a 5-___ aged child unattended. (top age depends on state)


    I guess I am a little jaded because I actually walked to the bus stop for all of my 12 years in school and stand out in the snow and rain (grew up outside of philly). We also took care of ourselves of we came home and my mom was not there.

    So did I. Back then there wasn't a law stating an 8 year old could be home alone. Laws have changed, so we can feel jaded but still not suggest that people break the law.

    I do feel to a degree that the younger generations are a bit soft because of the coulda's that may or may not happen. Its like they are wrapped in bubble wrap. and I only do that to my warmblood
    I agree with you on a large percentage of the next coming generations are growing up soft.
    I don't agree that making sure your 5 year old doesn't get creamed by a car or dropped off in the woods to an empty house is making them soft. IMO it's making sure they REACH adulthood so they can be some of the few non-squishy-soft adults.
    Following the law does not make someone a helicopter parent or create a timid child. The parents help make the child grow up self-sufficient and capable. Standing with my daughter at the end of the driveway when she was too little to do that solo certainly didn't make her soft. Squishy kids don't make it as Marines.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte



  17. #77
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    Dec. 18, 2006
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    NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by kasjordan View Post
    Maybe while they're sitting in their vehicle they are conversing with their offspring? Maybe they wonder why the person on the horse is wasting their time with a "dumb animal"? To each their own. Lots of people complain (me included!) that parents don't spend enough time with their kids anymore, yet there's complaining that they are wasting their time sitting with them every morning. To each their own is what it comes down to.
    Agreed!

    Honestly, too many non-parents on this thread and the ones about the problems in the educational system. One thread thinks parents are not involved enough, this one thinks they are too involved.

    I also live in a district where a parent had to be at the bus stop for Kindergarten, and someone had to be home for 1-3 (I think) when they were dropped off. If you weren't there, they took your kids to the bus garage, and if it happened enough (maybe 3 times?) they called CPS on you.

    It's not easy to be a parent these days. How to hold down a full time job and send your kids to school? I don't know - hence why I stopped working. But, in retrospect, it seems that kids might actually NEED a parent at home when they come home from school to check their homework and make sure they are doing ok in school, and then (gasp!) actually have any time left to spend with the kids and be their PARENT.

    It stinks to get stuck behind a bus, I think we all agree on that one. But to start vilifying the kids and parents for being slacker obese kids or helicopter parents seems a bit unnecessary.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #78
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    Dec. 18, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by chancellor2 View Post
    I am simply saying you CAN accompany your child to the bus stop. WALK WITH THE KID. You don't need to be in the car to be with your child. No, really, you don't.
    Maybe they have somewhere to go after the bus picks up the kids? Like to a job?


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  19. #79
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    Jan. 17, 2008
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    Dutchess County, New York
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    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    I walked on sidewalks and crossed streets over a mile to summer camp by myself when I was 11. I flew as an Unaccompanied Minor to Australia, got taken by car to a hotel, ordered room service and waited for my parents to arrive from their travels the next morning when I was 12. When I got sent to German relatives/friends for a month at a time in the summer the family kids would usually still have a few weeks of school left. I would go along with them, and no kidding all of the kids boarded REGULAR PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION (not special school busses but regular busses with adults and old people and people going to work and twenty somethings coming home from a night out on the town) to get to school. Once I had my driver's license in highschool and could get groceries by myself and drive myself to school, my parents left me home alone for weeks at a time while they travelled.
    Good for you! This passes my number one parenting rule: If it works, do it! Being so independent worked for you and your parents. Great!

    But, other set-ups work for other parents and children. Good for them! If it works for them to drive their child to the bus stop, fantastic!

    I'm not really sure why there has to be only one right way to do things. And I'm not really sure, aside from the inconvenience of being stuck behind one of those buses, why anyone would devote any thought or energy to this issue.


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  20. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by SMF11 View Post
    Good for you! This passes my number one parenting rule: If it works, do it! Being so independent worked for you and your parents. Great!

    But, other set-ups work for other parents and children. Good for them! If it works for them to drive their child to the bus stop, fantastic!

    I'm not really sure why there has to be only one right way to do things. And I'm not really sure, aside from the inconvenience of being stuck behind one of those buses, why anyone would devote any thought or energy to this issue.
    Well, considering the fact that if several posters on this thread are to be believed, my parents would be arrested today for parenting me as they did, and half the stuff they did would be ILLEGAL, and/or they would approached by other parents who would express "concern" about them doing what worked for them, or have to explain to the local news about doing what worked for them, it does appear that society has decided there is only one right way to do things.


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