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  1. #1
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    Jul. 31, 2007
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    Default Gnarliest break-ups: An excellent spectator sport?

    I was the one in the SCOTUS thread who advised folks to stay well-back from a lesbian break up. Recall that I was the friend with the pickup truck who was enlisted.

    I'll have you know that my truck was dented in the get-away process.... her bumper almost torn off, and no, they didn't fill her tank afterwards!

    So what's your story? Most silly? Most petty? Most scary? Most kinda-funny-but-you-didn't-dare-laugh-at-the-time breakup you witnessed?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  2. #2
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    Jul. 19, 2003
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    Middleburg, VA
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    Thankfully, I seem to surround myself with people who don't put themselves in relationships that should go horribly wrong. Most break ups have been rather tame, for the most part (one did seem to drag on forever). The worst was when one of my best friends and, at the time, roommate, moved to London for a guy. I DID NOT like the guy at all (he visited several times prior to her move and stayed with us....so, I "lived" with him, too) and strongly, seriously encouraged her to re-think throwing her entire life here away for this guy. Of course she didn't listen, gave up a good job, left her home in the care of two very irresponsible tenants (not me....I moved shortly after she did), and left.

    It was a huge disaster. And ended spectacularly when she caught him cheating on her with his PA, who happened to have the same name as she did (that made cheating much easier, I'm sure). She was there maybe three months....after close to a year of prep to move. Thankfully for her, she had waited on bringing her dog over (wanted to get settled and be sure she'd have a job, etc), and her home was waiting for her (though, now trashed by the girls who had been living in it).

    It took A LOT of effort for me not to say "I TOLD YOU SO!!!!"



  3. #3
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    Mar. 14, 2013
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    Default

    I had a friend that I moved out of her ex's apartment 3 times!!

    The first time, she moved back in within hours.



  4. #4
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    Jun. 24, 2005
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    Where I worked years ago, a young Officer was in a serious relationship (at least on the young girl's side) with one of the secretaries. He suddenly dumped her after saying he didn't want to get serious, for another woman at the same business location. He immediately announced his engagement, to the other woman. I was there when the first ex ran into the ex -boyfriend, and his new fiancé, right after they announced they had eloped, and were expecting a bundle of joy. I'll never forget the look on the ex-girlfriend's face, when we all ran into each other. That definitely convinced me never to date where I work, especially with someone who apparently was dating another employee at the same time.
    Last edited by JanM; Apr. 2, 2013 at 10:45 AM.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  5. #5
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    Feb. 14, 2012
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    Fern Creek, KY
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    When Mr. Minion broke up with the girl he was dating prior to becoming Mr. Minion, she took off with all of his personal info, car, and wallet in the middle of the night. To Washington. State. From Vermont. We were friends at this point, so I got to watch the whole thing go down. The hardest part for him was the car... it was easy enough to lock down his credit cards and keeps tabs on his social. I believe JAG got involved.

    Our honeymoon ended up involving flying to Washington State, jacking the car and driving it back to Vermont. It was AWESOME, except for the part where we had to sleep at a rest station and the other part where I almost killed us merging into a semi-truck on the highway.

    Best. Break-up. Ever.
    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    I prefer them outside playing as opposed to standing in the barn aisle playing "I can crap more than you"
    New Year, New Blog... follow Willow and I here.


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  6. #6
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    Nov. 20, 2010
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    Last year I ended a 4-year relationship. We've kept on good terms, but are in different states. He does tend to gravitate towards melodrama, although it became obvious having a bit too much of it was why he ended his long term marriage.

    Had been living in his office for a year before I met him. When we started dating, the ex broke the windshield wipers off his car, and dumped a bottle of whiskey all through it. She had also broken into his office by smashing the window in the back door, and thrown a bottle of booze and strewed porn around the desks, which his bookkeeper walked into. A previous gal he was just dating had had a few phone calls, but the ex amped it up once he got into a serious relationship. After he officially filed for divorce, while visiting his adult daughter one Saturday for lunch, the ex keyed his car. She would also call in the middle of the night, and leave 20 minute long messages full of foul words and sexual innuendos and rants. Hang up, rinse, repeat. Duh - great fodder for the divorce.

    When I helped him clear her stuff out of their cottage where he ended up living, we packed about 4 boxes of candles. She had them everywhere (along with loads of plastic flowers). He said in their house, one day she had over 20 candles in the living room burning at the same time. Once when she had been allowed to stay at the cottage, and he returned, she had left a burning candle in the kitchen which had been there since the night before.

    She also used to regularly go to a religious shrine to pray for them. Which is fine, but she'd be horrified to know that my grandfather had made a large donation to the church to help build one of the landmarks there.

    I felt bad for her, but it was so obvious she was a few fries short of a Happy Meal, and he needed to get out for sanity's sake.

    From time to time when we chat, I think it might be nice to be together again. But in addition to a couple of other issues, I really don't want to be the subject of one of those ID network stories where the ex came and stalked and did in the new couple!

    And, it's the reason I don't go out with anyone now unless the ink is dry on the final papers. Although even that isn't insurance! There are a lot of wackadoodles in some of those communities with lovely manicured lawns...
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes



  7. #7
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    Dec. 29, 2012
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    La La Land
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    I dont know about gnarly but the saddest two I have seen. (We seemed to be the host family for people breaking up, as in they sleep on the couch, why I dont know) anyways....

    1. Guy in the middle of divorce from wife finds out only 1 of his 3 kids is his. Man he was so crushed that day, I happened to be there when he found out. He really loved those kids and was a great father. He pretty much continued to be a father figure in their lives afterword, which I always thought was comendable due to the circumstances.

    2. Guy is frantic because the toddler has a high fever and doesn't know what to do. The toddler belonged to the live in girl friend, who was unable to be reached or contacted in any way, because she was busy with some other guy at the time. So here is this poor guy with 2 preschool aged children that are not his,one the smallest sicker than hell and running a high fever, and mom is apparently busy at the time cheating on him while he is watching her kids. He called me because I was a mom and know what to do with a sick kid. Poor guy was crushed.



  8. #8
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    Jun. 24, 2005
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    Hulk-there was a man on 60 Minutes years ago, that found out only the oldest girl was his child, and the three youngest were some other man's (the same man). Because he was married to the mother at the time, he had to pay child support for all four, and because the boys (all three younger ones were boys, as I recall) asked him about the custody case, and he told them about the biological facts he still had to pay child support, but didn't have visitation. I don't think the ex ever told him or the kids who the bio father was either. It went all the way to the state supreme court (I don't think the US Supreme Court) and the ruling was upheld.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  9. #9
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    Nov. 20, 2008
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    PA
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    I’ve been a witness or participant in a few, but by far the most crazy ones were:

    1) In high school I dated a guy for a couple of months. We did nothing more than hold hands and kiss, but one day I saw him walking the halls holding another girl’s hand. He saw me, dropped her hand, and tried to make up to me that night over the phone, but I said no take-backs – he’d made his choice and it was over. I wasn’t mean, but was matter-of-fact and wouldn’t budge. That night he (unsuccessfully) tried to commit suicide (I found out a couple of days later). I felt very guilty about it at first, but then realized I didn’t have to – I wasn’t mean to him about it and didn’t drive him to do it. It sucked, and it was sad, but I wasn’t at fault.

    2) In college I befriended a lady in her late twenties with a 10ish year old daughter who was dating a military guy. She was in the process of breaking up with him at the time – she said he was controlling and verbally abusive. I happened to be at her house with her and her daughter when he barged in the door demanding a few items he’d left there. He took her into the kitchen to try to talk her into staying with him. I stayed with the daughter in the living room. They were in there a few minutes – all we could hear was him dropping an f-bomb every once in a while and the Mom telling him they were through. Mom walked back into the living room only to have military guy grab her, throw her up against the hallway wall, and start choking her. I grabbed up the daughter in my arms (she was terrified) and yelled at the guy to get out or I’d call the cops. He yelled an obscenity at me, but dropped Mom and barreled out the door, never to be seen again.



  10. #10
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    Dec. 29, 2012
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    La La Land
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    Jan M Thats just crazy isn't it? As it turned out in this guys case, the 2 other kids never found out who their father was cause even she didnt know. Too many canidates I quess. Go figure.



  11. #11
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    Classy ride-- wow, both are too close for comfort-- you got sprayed with some stray shrapnel.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  12. #12
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    Nov. 20, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    Classy ride-- wow, both are too close for comfort-- you got sprayed with some stray shrapnel.
    Yeah - thank goodness they aren't all that bad! I haven't been through a ton myself, but the norm seems to be that the breakee goes through every single emotion trying to get the breaker to come back. I once broke up with a guy that did all the emotions in the span of a 20ish minute talk. Ha! His end of the dialogue was like, "I love you. I must be awful. No, *you're* awful. How could you hurt me like this? I'm sorry. Please forgive me. You're making me so mad! You just don't get it! What can I say to get you to change your mind? Is something wrong with me? I can't live without you...." etc, etc.

    Until, at the very end, he made me promise that if I *ever* decided I wanted to try again, no matter what was going on in his life, I should call him and he'd drop everything and take me back. I knew that was total bull. I said, "You can't expect me to call you if you're happily married or something." He said it didn't matter and I should call anyway. Ha!

    When the heart bleeds, there is rarely logic in our words or actions.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
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    Dec. 8, 2002
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    Fort Collins, CO
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    What a great line, Classy... and true!
    I have too many ponies but love 'em all!

    http://foxview-farm.blogspot.com/



  14. #14
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    Nov. 13, 2009
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    Break-ups, no matter how warranted, are a painful thing for the people involved. I don't view any aspect of them as a "spectator sport" and find it sad that anyone would relish in the pain and suffering of others.


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  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by FineAlready View Post
    Break-ups, no matter how warranted, are a painful thing for the people involved. I don't view any aspect of them as a "spectator sport" and find it sad that anyone would relish in the pain and suffering of others.
    Fair enough.

    But you have to admit that some look sort of silly. They guy who went through all 5 stages of the grieving process in 20 minutes and wanted the COTHer to pledge to call him if she ever changed his mind, even when he was married?

    Frankly, she was doing him a favor by not taking that seriously.

    It would have helped, too, if my truck had not been exploited and abused. Oh, and the number of *hours* I have spent listening to other friends during the break-up process. Oy!
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  16. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    Fair enough.

    But you have to admit that some look sort of silly. They guy who went through all 5 stages of the grieving process in 20 minutes and wanted the COTHer to pledge to call him if she ever changed his mind, even when he was married?

    Frankly, she was doing him a favor by not taking that seriously.

    It would have helped, too, if my truck had not been exploited and abused. Oh, and the number of *hours* I have spent listening to other friends during the break-up process. Oy!
    I guess I don't want to get into a whole "thing" about it, but, sure, people do lots of silly/desperate things as part of the grieving process. Some people even commit crimes. I find it sad; not funny. I've also seen plenty of people looking "silly" at the loss (as in death) of a loved one or even a loved horse...throwing things, screaming, etc.

    The human condition is sometimes one of vulnerability, and that can sometimes be grotesque or embarassing. No one wants to be judged or laughed at in their weakest moment. I think people in pain should be regarded sympathetically, that's all.



  17. #17
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    Nov. 2, 2001
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    I guess my sister's breakup with the father of her daughter qualifies...

    For the life of me, I don't understand why he stuck around for that long (I guess by then he was sort of tied to her, daughter being three and all.)

    She caught him cheating on her and kicked him to the curb.

    You'd think that would be the end, right?

    nope:
    he dared to stay gone, moving in with the woman he had cheated with.
    And with him his paycheck also stayed gone. Crushing the plans of dear Sis to lead the life of Riley, going to the office part time, shop and ride the rest of the time.

    And all hell broke lose.
    My poor mom had to field her calls at any time of the day, listen to her cry and sob for hours. Most of the time she was absolutely smashed! (I am sure she single handedly boosted Prosecco sales that year by a large margin!)
    That went on for MONTHS! It got so bad that Mom and I had our own code for her calls: since every single call turned into 'but I want him back' like one of our favorite comedy skit from a long time ago, where the main character always comes back to his knowledge about cucumbers it was my warning to her 'Cucumber is on the line'

    it was a nightmare.


    Oh, and while I think cheating is reprehensible, I do understand why the guy did it. As one of a lower socioeconomic rung he had to constantly listen to her ragging on him, calling him white trash....the quickest way to regain some self value for some guys is to find a skirt to jump.....

    Sis is gone now, I am sure her self destructive behavior and binging had some part in it....
    I don't really see eye to eye with the man, but he is the father of my niece and he is trying to do right by the girl. So for better or worse, he is my 'brother in law' even though he dodged the bullet by getting kicked out.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.



  18. #18
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    Nov. 13, 2004
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    You know, as much as breakups suck, I'd rather somebody find them entertaining. If not now, then 5 years from now. So, although I haven't had the variety of breakups that qualify as a spectator sport (first ex-boyfriend tried to make it a spectator sport, I took the high ground, blocked his attempts to contact me, didn't respond to his friends, and walked away- nobody got time for that) if I ever do, I hope somebody finds it amusing.
    "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep."
    - Harry Dresden

    Horse Isle 2: Legend of the Esrohs LifeCycle Breeding and competition MMORPG



  19. #19
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    Sep. 24, 2012
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    Oh wow, there are some crazy people out there!

    My past boys were "normal". Nothing on my side (although I had a recent VERY bad breakup with my best friend who was also my niece, she took my dog and a package I had just gotten, then proceeded to tell me I lost the dog, and she would t talk to me because of that. Funny, a week later BIL was petting said dog in her truck. Baby daddy moved to Montana with the girl he was cheating on her with, and the reason she cut us all out of her life. That's one of the most painful things I've ever gone through.)

    Hubby's ex (one right before me) used to stalk him, I remember coming out of his house one morning at like 7am and she was in her car outside. (but wait, I was the one doing the walk of shame )

    Another ex was sending naked photos of herself to him and was boasting about being a relationship breaker. That went over well. (by that I mean after he told me what she was doing, I told her to never contact him again and deleted/blocked her from everything. I have no problem with his exes, but don't cross the line.)



  20. #20
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    I spectated in my own in college, came home to a living room that had been hosed down with a two liter of Dr Pepper and holes in the wall.

    Most recently though would be my parents'. Yow. Police involved multiple times, both sides with security camera footage at different locations, alleged house emptying (not), alleged horse theft (not), crazy calls and texts and emails and FB updates from my mother, invisible Krugerrands, friends getting involved and calling me to try to win me to her side (fat chance), and now that it's done, I tried to have a relationship with her again only to back away with a chair and a bullwhip, yelling "get back! *crack* back!!"

    I can laugh now, but it was a year I'd like to never repeat.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



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