The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 4 of 6 FirstFirst ... 23456 LastLast
Results 61 to 80 of 104
  1. #61
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2009
    Location
    Rock Chalk!
    Posts
    3,195

    Default

    I must confess I have. BUT only when it's more busy work than needed practice. DD is fluent at computation with fractions. Came home last week with an assignment of computation with fractions. Her first communion was that night, so we were at church from 4:45 until almost 9. Did I do part of them? Yes, to get her to bed at a decent time.
    A proud friend of bar.ka.



  2. #62
    Join Date
    Feb. 18, 2003
    Location
    Alberta
    Posts
    5,584

    Default

    I don't get why parent's even have to "check" their kids homework to make sure it's "done right"? That's what teachers are for........to mark, grade and CHECK the homework, then HELP the kid if needed! It would seem that this so called "helicopter parenting" extends into more than just playtime.

    If your child hasn't completed the assignment, don't cover up for them, let the teacher deal with it and teach the child a valuable lesson in being accountable for what you do! Also, if they are doing so many "after school activties" there's no time for the homework, then maybe some of the activities need to be scaled back.

    And before people rant at me, I competed in gymnastics at an elite level and still managed to do my homework (teacher did not want to hear my excuses if I didn't do it!), even if it meant doing it in the car to and from training, and it also wasn't unusual to see us opening our books in between our practice routines!
    Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!



  3. #63
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    7,626

    Default

    No.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Mar. 22, 2005
    Location
    Where it is perpetually winter
    Posts
    5,598

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by S1969 View Post
    And nothing has changed in the last 30 years? Right? (For example, homework assigned at school and number of hours worked by parents?)
    Um, I don't know about meupatdoes, but I haven't been alive for 30 years. I was in the public K-12 system not that long ago. I know I had homework starting in kindergarten!

    I'm sorry, I just don't buy it that poor little Susie doesn't have the time anymore to do her homework so her parents have to do it. That's ludicrous. Even if little Susie excels at something and so "shouldn't have to do it," guess what - in the real world, you have to do things that are tedious and easy and boring. Oh well.

    Going to school is the closest thing to a job that kids have. My parents expected me to excel at it. If I needed tutoring, that was one thing, but they sure wouldn't do my homework for me or check it over.

    If anything, the kids who struggle are the ones who should be spending all that time on homework - not their parents doing it for them to pave the way.

    My experience was very similar to eclipse's, especially once I reached high school; you could find me doing homework and assignments in between classes at horse shows.

    JMHO.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #65
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Out for Lent
    Posts
    34,387

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by supershorty628 View Post
    Um, I don't know about meupatdoes, but I haven't been alive for 30 years. I was in the public K-12 system not that long ago. I know I had homework starting in kindergarten!

    I'm sorry, I just don't buy it that poor little Susie doesn't have the time anymore to do her homework so her parents have to do it. That's ludicrous. Even if little Susie excels at something and so "shouldn't have to do it," guess what - in the real world, you have to do things that are tedious and easy and boring. Oh well.

    Going to school is the closest thing to a job that kids have. My parents expected me to excel at it. If I needed tutoring, that was one thing, but they sure wouldn't do my homework for me or check it over.

    If anything, the kids who struggle are the ones who should be spending all that time on homework - not their parents doing it for them to pave the way.

    My experience was very similar to eclipse's, especially once I reached high school; you could find me doing homework and assignments in between classes at horse shows.

    JMHO.
    believe it.

    Naturally not at all schools, but there are some whoppers!

    There is one private school that is notorious! the kids come home at three, then spend the rest of the afternoon doing homework! I kid you not. I knew a couple of kids from that school, they barely had the energy to do a twice monthly cub scout meeting, or some Taekwindo, two to three time a week, for 45 minutes...
    or they had to rush back home to finish homework.

    That, too me borders on child abuse. If you have hem work on the farm like that you go to jail!
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.
    GNU Terry Prachett



  6. #66
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2009
    Location
    Rock Chalk!
    Posts
    3,195

    Default

    FWIW, the school I teach at has done away with homework in our math department. We use all of our class time (90 minute blocks) for teaching and supporting students. Research does not support it as a useful tool in learning/teaching. Oh, our standardized test scores have increased a lot since nixing homework.
    A proud friend of bar.ka.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  7. #67
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    6,485

    Default

    My kids had busy practice type homework when they were in elementary and I hated it (and so did they). I don't think it did any good and it was too much for the age. I ended up homeschooling them through much of grade school and they entered public school in 7th and 9th grade. They have plenty of homework but they get it done during their study hall or right after school. Somehow they learned time management without all the "practice homework" that the grade school was sending them for 1st grade!



  8. #68
    Join Date
    Oct. 7, 2012
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    34

    Default

    I struggled with school for a long time during my childhood. I mean seriously, in the 4th grade I couldn't even do multiplication nor write/read cursive. Even then I had to start coming up with ways to better myself. My mother pushed me hard, and believe me when I say I fought with a vengeance because I hated math and it took up too much time (or I thought it did)...often times I would stare into space or start daydreaming and then...no surprise...I was still sitting there 2 hours later without even trying to do my work. (I see a similar pattern with other kids today as well). However, instead of my mother doing my homework for me she would help me: made flashcards and went through them every night with me, made games out of vocabulary, etc. but NEVER did my work for me.

    This level of commitment wasn't a result of my parents having a lot of time on their hands either. My mother was a para-professional and my father was a high school drop-out and drives semi trailers all over the U.S. and was/is often gone for up to 3 weeks at a time. Couple that with the chores of living with horses and working cattle there isn't much time left...I was never short of homework either. I STILL got my work done and I got faster because I learned just to deal and do it rather than fight. If I ran to my father to get out of it, I got a firm talking to about how his life was hard now because of the choices he made.

    I graduated high school with a 4.0 thanks to my parents and am now set to graduate college with a high gpa in sciences as well. Let me tell you from personal experience and from the experiences and hardships in my parents' pasts, you do your child no favors...I mean zero, zilch...by doing their homework for them. Push them to figure it out, help them figure it out, tell them to get extra help if they have to, but to make excuses about time and hardships is ludicrous.

    I also want to point out that even though I spent a lot of time on homework I still had time for extracurricular activities throughout my elementary and high school career including art classes, 4-H, dance, FFA, tennis, band, choir, and showing horses.
    The holy grail is to spend less time making the picture than it takes people to look at it.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Dec. 26, 2008
    Posts
    1,075

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by S1969 View Post
    And nothing has changed in the last 30 years? Right? (For example, homework assigned at school and number of hours worked by parents?)

    I can distinctly recall NOT having homework before 5th grade, yet had kids in 1st and 4th grade with homework in multiple subjects every night.

    I also recall that my father (a teacher) was home by 3:30 and my mom (a secretary) was home by 5:15. Lots of parenting time left. How many people do you know that get home from work by 5:15 anymore? I never did when I worked. Most of the parents I know don't either (unless they don't work).

    Not all kids are great at school, either. If you were, then be thankful you didn't have to work harder. It's nice that you had such a great upbringing - with imported nannies and gourmet dinners. Too bad all kids aren't all as lucky.
    I realize you are speaking directly to meupatdoes BUT this post rubs me. I am 28 and when I was in school we had homework. EVERY night. My father got home at 430 but believe me he was not helping with homework, house work, or cooking dinner. My mother got home any where from 5-6:30 depending on where she was working at that time ( car factory type job) I didn't have a nanny. We were SUPPOSE to sit down when we got home and do our home work? Did I always do that? Nope. Why? I was dyslexic, 20 years ago you didn't get special ed or tutoring for being dyslexic. I am not even sure my parents knew what to do for it other then try harder. ( My mother is also dyslexic) I can guarantee they didn't do my homework for me. If I got bad grades it was my fault AND I suffered the wrath of my parents.

    How has school/ parenting time changed in my opinion? Kids are in way to many activities. You want time with your kids? Time to cook dinner? How about taking your kids out of activities 6 nights a week and spend time at HOME. My kids are in 1 activity most of the school year and two in the spring. They have plenty of time to play and be kids. I have plenty of time at home to help my kids do homework but have them do it themselves.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    5,647

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by supershorty628 View Post
    Um, I don't know about meupatdoes, but I haven't been alive for 30 years. I was in the public K-12 system not that long ago. I know I had homework starting in kindergarten!

    I'm sorry, I just don't buy it that poor little Susie doesn't have the time anymore to do her homework so her parents have to do it. That's ludicrous. Even if little Susie excels at something and so "shouldn't have to do it," guess what - in the real world, you have to do things that are tedious and easy and boring. Oh well.

    Going to school is the closest thing to a job that kids have. My parents expected me to excel at it. If I needed tutoring, that was one thing, but they sure wouldn't do my homework for me or check it over.

    If anything, the kids who struggle are the ones who should be spending all that time on homework - not their parents doing it for them to pave the way.

    My experience was very similar to eclipse's, especially once I reached high school; you could find me doing homework and assignments in between classes at horse shows.

    JMHO.
    I never suggested that parents should do homework. My posts started from this thread of posts:

    Quote Originally Posted by Bastile View Post
    well I gotta say "yes" I have done some homework for them. some nites it is just crazy and the pressure is intense and there are a million things going on.
    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    What took priority over homework?
    When I was a kid, school was my day job.
    And I responded that was an easy statement to make when you don't actually have kids and maybe have two working parents - some nights might actually have to include things like shopping, or car maintenance, or god forbid something like a 4H meeting!

    And meupatdoes replied:

    Quote Originally Posted by meupatdoes View Post
    Yeah, exept we were all kids too, and some of us still got our stuff done even if our parents had busy schedules.
    But naturally, having educational and economical advantages makes a lot of things easier - kids tend to do better in school, and parents can take advantage of other opportunities -- for example, a paid employee at home to supervise kids getting off the bus and doing homework, versus a latch-key kid or kid at "after care" while parents are working...that then needs picking up on your way home and parents and kids walk through the door at 6:30 and still need dinner, homework, and *gasp* even some play time!

    My main objection to this thread is the now grown "kids" who did well in school and didn't need any help, but don't actually have any children of their own and commenting on how to raise kids up right. Good luck! I hope it is as easy for them as it was for you!

    Personally, I doubt any of us actually really know what sort of effort our parents had to put forth when we were in K-4th or 5th grade...maybe they DID do some of your work for you.

    FYI, as I stated before, I have never done any of my kids' homework. But I can understand why some parents might do a little from time to time just to get it done. And I am particularly speaking about kids under 6th grade or so. Not high school.



  11. #71
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    5,647

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nlk View Post
    How has school/ parenting time changed in my opinion? Kids are in way to many activities. You want time with your kids? Time to cook dinner? How about taking your kids out of activities 6 nights a week and spend time at HOME. My kids are in 1 activity most of the school year and two in the spring. They have plenty of time to play and be kids. I have plenty of time at home to help my kids do homework but have them do it themselves.
    You're preaching to the choir here -- I quit my job, I homeschool my kids, and still they aren't in many activities. I agree with you 100%.

    I don't object to the concept that parents should never do homework for their kids; I object to the idea that it shouldn't be *hard* for families to fit everything in -- even if the kids aren't in many activities. For families with two working parents - it sucks. Maybe one should stay home, but that's another whole issue. Sometimes that's not an option.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #72
    Join Date
    Dec. 26, 2008
    Posts
    1,075

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by S1969 View Post
    You're preaching to the choir here -- I quit my job, I homeschool my kids, and still they aren't in many activities. I agree with you 100%.

    I don't object to the concept that parents should never do homework for their kids; I object to the idea that it shouldn't be *hard* for families to fit everything in -- even if the kids aren't in many activities. For families with two working parents - it sucks. Maybe one should stay home, but that's another whole issue. Sometimes that's not an option.
    I recently read an article ( that I thought was on here and now I can't find it ) about how the women are giving up their careers to be stay at home moms because their children deserve ALL of their time.... YIKES!!! Sorry a little off topic.

    We went through hell the first few years my son was in school because he required so much extra time from us. We made it work and it was our priority. It's easier now because we have a routine. I even made him do work all summer. Read, writing, math problems, and science questions. to help him catch up and stay in our routine....



  13. #73
    Join Date
    Jul. 28, 2006
    Posts
    347

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
    I don't get why parent's even have to "check" their kids homework to make sure it's "done right"? That's what teachers are for........to mark, grade and CHECK the homework, then HELP the kid if needed!
    Ours gets almost Zero HELP from teachers.

    For what it's worth, I don't "check" her homework, I expect her to have it done, as best as she can do. However when I start seeing grades slip, I get she is not comprehending, and then I will require her to do her homework with me in the room on that particular subject, so if she has questions, I can answer her. NOTE: I answer her, not her homework. She needs to think these things through, and problem solving is the best.

    There is little problem solving at our school(s). We've been through elementary and now almost finished secondary. Don't count on help from teachers, they don't have the time for individuals.

    She was pulled in Gr. 3 for the gifted math program, and I've continued to have her tutored after elementary so she has someone who can take the time to work the numbers/magic with her. I'm not sure she even needs it anymore, but I know she likes her math, likes her tutor, and has fun with the numbers, so I just keep doing it. There would be no help from her classroom teacher if she had extensive/further questions.



  14. #74
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    6,485

    Default

    We're expected to monitor our kids' work through the school; their grades are all posted online and at the teacher conferences it's clear that we are expected to keep them on task. My kids tend to handle it themselves but it is definitely part of the job.

    Staying home and homeschooling improved our lives beyond recognition. The kids weren't stressed any more, no more migraines from my son, our quality of life improved tons. I think so many people just chase their tails all the time now; I hated that. We have a happy life that isn't too chaotic or busy for any of us.



  15. #75
    Join Date
    Dec. 8, 2008
    Location
    My own little utopia!
    Posts
    885

    Default

    I'm surprised at people who admit to doing their kids' homework. It doesn't teach the child anything - which is kind of the point! I was recently at a party where the hostess pointed out the parts of the diorama she made for the latest homework assignment. That should have been something to be embarrassed by - not a point of pride.

    Now if the child has a learning disability it's a whole different thing to sit with the child and help them to the answer, but there's no way the parent should be doing all the work while the child does something else.

    And to the point of "you don't have kids so you don't understand there's no time for fun," it's total BS to say it's ok to do homework for the kid because there's too much to do at night and there's no time to do fun things with them! Sorry, you chose to have the kids. Educating a child to become a self-reliant adult is a huge part child rearing - kind of imperative unless you want your kids to live with you forever while you do things for them so there's time for "fun."

    If there are too many activities to finish homework then priorities need to be made. And school should be top priority. If the child wants to play soccer but can't get the homework done either the parents need to teach the child time management skills or they need to step in and say no to all the other activities. That's parenting!!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  16. #76
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    4,641

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by S1969 View Post

    My main objection to this thread is the now grown "kids" who did well in school and didn't need any help, but don't actually have any children of their own and commenting on how to raise kids up right. Good luck! I hope it is as easy for them as it was for you!

    Personally, I doubt any of us actually really know what sort of effort our parents had to put forth when we were in K-4th or 5th grade...maybe they DID do some of your work for you.

    .
    Ummmm, yeah!

    I am fortunate enough that my mother is still alive and fully cognizant at age 78 (I'm 50). I have two children, aged 23 and aged 10 (plus a stepchild, 24). Somewhere around when I was firmly established in middle-age (early/mid 40s) and had enough parenting credentials of my own, my relationship with my mother changed. It changed from a parent/child relationship to a peer relationship. And, WOW, what an eye-opener .

    We could speak frankly about what it was REALLY like for her when I was a child and what it was like for me to be her child. Let's just say that my rosy viewpoint about what a wonderful child/teenager/young adult I was, just that, filtered through my own lens and not strictly accurate. And her recollection of my childhood, and how she parented me, was not the same as mine.

    A real gift and such a rewarding thing, to speak honestly with a parent, as a fellow adult, and fellow parent of an adult, about just how HARD it is to parent, how many gray areas they are, how many "mistakes" are made and how imperfect the whole process really is.

    There's no such thing as a perfect parent, or a perfect child. We all do the best we can.

    For the adult children here, still fully identifying with their role as "adult children"....good luck to you if you ever decide to become a parent. Hardest job ever, and the most rewarding. And, YES, you will screw up and YES your parents screwed up. We all do, it's unavoidable.

    Oh, and BTW, the BIG secret for being a parent and not going crazy from the amount of responsbility is...don't take everything so seriously!! Really, acquire a sense of humor and a sense of the absurd, it will benefit everyone, kids most of all. That's one thing my DH and I are on the exact same page about and it's what makes our marriage, our co-parenting relationship and our relationships with all our kids solid. Few things are that serious, that life or death or such a big deal . Help a kid with homework, don't help them with homework, drive them to the bus, don't drive them to the bus...geez, who cares?. Good luck angsting about those details when the shit starts to fly (and it will).
    Last edited by Canaqua; Apr. 2, 2013 at 08:33 PM.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #77

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
    I don't get why parent's even have to "check" their kids homework to make sure it's "done right"? That's what teachers are for........to mark, grade and CHECK the homework, then HELP the kid if needed! It would seem that this so called "helicopter parenting" extends into more than just playtime.
    Because it's not beneficial to a child to do their homework totally wrong. It just ingrains the wrong skills. Happened to me in algebra. I thought I was doing it right, didn't have my dad run over it, discovered it was all wrong the next day. When I say parents should check homework I mean check that it looks mostly correct. I do not mean go over each individual math problem, reread an entire story, etc. Just make sure it looks mostly right and makes sense.

    I had a girl drop off math homework last week where she labeled a pyramid a cube. Any parent could've looked at that for 5 seconds and realized she made a big, easily fixed error. And this is a student with a learning disability who struggles quite a bit... the exact kind of student that should have parents going over things with her.

    Most of my students would probably survive if their parents did not check their homework. However, kids make silly mistakes because they're rushing off to do something else or distracted by siblings, toys, etc. I don't know why they made the mistakes, I just see that they made them. If I knew they were just stupid mistakes and Timmy actually does know what he's doing I wouldn't care so much. However, I can't tell what exactly Timmy was doing when he did his homework so I have to assume that he needs some re-explaining.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #78
    Join Date
    Dec. 26, 2008
    Posts
    1,075

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eclipse View Post
    I don't get why parent's even have to "check" their kids homework to make sure it's "done right"? That's what teachers are for........to mark, grade and CHECK the homework, then HELP the kid if needed! It would seem that this so called "helicopter parenting" extends into more than just playtime.
    In my sons class the teacher corrects homework and assigns a grade. My son is not given extra information on how to correct it, simply that it's wrong. So he gets a 5/10 or a 7/10. To me he is not learning and homework is pointless. SOOO my husband and I check his homework, mark incorrect answers and then talk about how the problem should be done. Again my son is dyslexic and things have to be broken down for him more then your average child. Also he learns better from me then his teacher...


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #79

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by nlk View Post
    In my sons class the teacher corrects homework and assigns a grade. My son is not given extra information on how to correct it, simply that it's wrong. So he gets a 5/10 or a 7/10. To me he is not learning and homework is pointless. SOOO my husband and I check his homework, mark incorrect answers and then talk about how the problem should be done. Again my son is dyslexic and things have to be broken down for him more then your average child. Also he learns better from me then his teacher...
    That's pretty silly and wasteful of the teacher. If you collect home, IMO, either A. just do a completion grade and take note of problem areas that you will later reteach or B. mark specific things wrong and give the kids time to redo them for credit. Can't expect people to get everything right on the first try, not even adults.

    If yor child has a LD and is struggling that much why not try requesting his homework be modified? That could be added to his IEP if he has one.



  20. #80
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    5,647

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Canaqua View Post
    A real gift and such a rewarding thing, to speak honestly with a parent, as a fellow adult, and fellow parent of an adult, about just how HARD it is to parent, how many gray areas they are, how many "mistakes" are made and how imperfect the whole process really is.
    Great post. My appreciation for my parents started to change when I was old enough to worry about my younger sister. But most definitely once I became a parent myself.

    While I never did my kids' homework, I can very acutely recall the misery of having a 2nd grader who was tired and frustrated after spending a day at school and after care program, then the drive home; and a 3 year old that was sick and must miserable, with a spouse traveling for business and no dinner plans. Cranky, hungry kids and trying to get them cared for, dinner cooked, ....and then have to consider homework...OMG. I think until you've been in that position, you really can't appreciate how easy it might be for a parent to fill in a couple answers and get the kids in bed.

    Should they do it? Of course not. But that doesn't mean we can't appreciate how tempting it could be.


    2 members found this post helpful.

Similar Threads

  1. spin off: dental work
    By sheltona01 in forum The Menagerie
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Oct. 6, 2012, 12:58 PM
  2. Spin off - Fly boots that actually work/stay up
    By Tiger Horse in forum Horse Care
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: Jul. 14, 2012, 11:12 PM
  3. Static spin off - This really does work.
    By Huntertwo in forum Horse Care
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: Jan. 8, 2011, 05:46 PM
  4. Replies: 45
    Last Post: Jul. 14, 2010, 04:27 PM
  5. How do you work it? Horses/school/work/etc?
    By _downpour_ in forum Off Course
    Replies: 13
    Last Post: Aug. 18, 2009, 03:38 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness