Spin-off: Have you ever done your kid's school work?
If so, how did that happen?
Just curious because it's way beyond the realm of my experience. I can't imagine that teachers intended this or that a parent would give a robust and pre-meditated "Damn straight, I'd do kiddo's work if it got him a better grade!"
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A friend of mine that I used to work with did her 4th grader's homework most of that year. He was bright and did just fine on the tests, but simply did not do his homework. He had to sit down with her, but essentially she did it. The next year, he was fine and did it all himself.
"Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."
"Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike
It is not that simple. The amount of homework sent home is often ridiculous. I remember when my eldest child was in 2nd grade he had language arts homework included diagraming sentences (including adverb and adjectives). WTF? When I asked his teacher about whether they were covering this in class because my child had no recollection of it, her response was "No. I want the parents to teach this." Never mind that about 30% of the kids in the class didn't speak English at home. Crazy!
I had the following rule about homework;
10 minutes a night per grade.
So 10 minutes in 1st grade, 20 minutes in 2nd etc. If they didn't finish within that timeframe, it didn't get done.
By the time my kids were out of middle school, they were independent, self motivated students with good grades.
...I cannot imagine having asked my parents to do my homework. For help (with high-school math especially; my father's an engineer and he had rather negative opinions about my textbooks) but DO it? Eek.
We have assisted. For instance, DD had to create a board game last year. DH framed houses for a living years ago and is good at measuring, marking etc. He marked off the grid on her board, but she did all the painting, came up with the questions, etc. You can always clearly tell the kids who have parents do their projects for them
I go over her homework every evening, esp math. If she has an incorrect answer, I write the problem and give her the steps, but she has to give me the answer to every step in long division or big multiplication problems. Her errors generally involve putting a number in the wrong column.
Hell no! Though, I did go out with her and help her do the physical stuff for some science experiments (i.e. break through the ice and collect water), but she did all the paperwork. I get a kick out of experiments..
We've helped a lot but as someone that was homeschooling them last year I'm pretty conscious about not doing the work for them. I ask questions, prompt the plan, spur the motivation, help with the mindless stuff occasionally and bought the ingredients for a native dish but I'm helper mode, not doer mode.
The closest my mom ever got was proofreading and editing my papers, but she made me do it with her at the same time. My friend's mom in high school would straight up re-write her papers for her, from the first draft to a completely unrecognizable final.
A friend/acquaintance has done her smaller kid's homework (not sure the grade, 3rd or 4th?) but made him re-write the answers in his handwriting.
I donno... it seems like it'd be way too easy to do, and hard to stop. Like it would cause more problems in the end than actually addressing it in the first place.
All that said, I have read and taken notes for MrB's papers before. Twice, in a short time period (two weeks). I don't mind that i've done it, because i haven't actually written his work out for him. At the same time both times it's happened we've ended up having discussions about his time management and procrastination... and receiving that end of the conversation made him not really want to seek out my help in the future!!
I was/am so independent, my parents didn't even know if I had work. Occasionally I'd ask for help in math, since my mom used to teach college level math, but otherwise, never. Maybe for big projects in elementary school, but I think that's sort of expected.
My boss told me that she wrote philosophy papers for her daughter in college because "she had too much to do." I do not understand this attitude at all, though it'd be nice! I'd be embarrassed to turn in work that was not mine, especially my parent's.
well I gotta say "yes" I have done some homework for them. some nites it is just crazy and the pressure is intense and there are a million things going on. so we sit and I get the input from them for the assignment, but I do the typing or numbers or things like that. sorry if anyone is horrified, but there are times when it is just not possible to do otherwise and keep up. I love the sincere thanks and the look of relief instead of anxiety!!
Never. Told the little darlings I had already graduated and had no intention of repeating any grades. Would help explain something when asked but I never even checked their homework. From day one homework was always their responsibility start to finish.
I have helped him plan out some stuff, like building a cabin with a top that opens. Great idea! ack now we have to build it lol. I did help him lay it out, but he did all of the cutting, nailing etc. I also do some editing, but in turn he has to edit my papers. When I say editing, I say "this sentance doesn't seem right, can you say it another way?" He says "Mom this doesn't make any sense" and wrinkles his eyebrows like hes holding a smelly sock.
His math, since we do it on the phone usually, I do it and he tells me his answer and I will say good job or try again.
I don't think I would help him by doing much more than that.
I think the closest I came was when Son the Elder was still struggling with his dyslexia: we would sit together and he and I would read together - first he would read a paragraph, and then I would. It was a long and slow, painful process, but in the end, he is now perfectly capable of reading complicated college texts.
We had modified homework from the school - his book reports were oral, or a diorama, or some form of creative visual form that let the teachers know he understood the book. His spelling tests were oral until he was in 4th grade, when things began to fall together for him. He's a bright young man, but he definitely had a difficult time at first and would have truly been lost in a traditional environment. I credit Montessori teaching for his success. That, and the pushing I did when he was young.
My younger son thankfully did not struggle in that way. He's in an accelerated school right now, and I think I would be hard pressed to help him with his homework! He often stays after school if he needs the help. He just calls me to pick him up later. Fine by me.
Don't tell me about what you can't do. That's boring. Show me what you can do. - Mom
well I gotta say "yes" I have done some homework for them. some nites it is just crazy and the pressure is intense and there are a million things going on.
What took priority over homework?
When I was a kid, school was my day job. That bad boy had to be done first. Theoretically, I had from 3 to 6 to do that before family time started. If I wanted to add a Paper Route Empire and rearrange my schedule as an elementary school munchkin, that was fine so long as the second job didn't screw up the first.
In middle school, where priority 1 was being a social butterfly, same rule, different empire to pursue. By high school, I knew how to juggle sports, barn ratting and the rest. No parental oversight about the school stuff at all.
I think I always did homework after dinner as it turned out. Is that no longer possible?
Sorry for the grumpiness - but such an easy thing to say for someone without any kids.
How about - mom and dad have lives too? Car needs maintenance, grocery shopping, preparing dinner, and maybe we want to spend time with our kids?
We homeschool now, and one of the reasons is that the time demands on our kids were so unfair -- to us! We got no *time* with our kids except as the person who had to supervise homework (often unnecessary, poorly planned, or just plain stupid).
I feel badly for parents who have no choice but to juggle their kids' school schedule, homework, any other activities they may want to engage in, and that precious hour or two a day in which parents get to enjoy actually having children.
I remember when my eldest child was in 2nd grade he had language arts homework included diagraming sentences (including adverb and adjectives). WTF? When I asked his teacher about whether they were covering this in class because my child had no recollection of it, her response was "No. I want the parents to teach this."
I remember being taught to diagram sentences in 4th grade. With lots of group work, I got into the zone and could do it for a while. But the skill was lost instantly.
And some of the teaching done by parents? Wow. That was not part of school when I was growing up. I think that's why I didn't think to ask my parents for help. We were prepared to do that in class. And OMG, it would have been more trouble than it was worth to try to get my mom into the zone of whatever I was working on at school so that she could help.
As far as day-to-day homework went, I remember that being between kid and teacher mainly.