Researchers at the University of Anglia have now confirmed that 95% of the ground beef samples submitted for DNA testing have tested positive for deer testicles. Jim Nasium, lead researcher, stated that content ranged from 4-18 percent deer testicle tissue in the samples.
Meat industry spokesman, Rick O'shay stated, "As an industry, we have been forced to source our products with the most cost-effective ingredients we can find. There is currently no prohibition against the addition of deer testicles in any food item. Besides, deer testicles are the only meat we can find under a buck!"