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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 1999
    Location
    Ohio: Charter Member - COTH Hockey Clique & COTH Buffy Clique
    Posts
    9,149

    Default WWYD - friend owes you $$

    At what point do you pursue getting paid? At what point do you simply drop it and chalk it up to experience (albeit not a good experience)? Is there a monetary amount that's worth pursuing? What about the principle of paying back a friend who was generous?

    I'll try to give you the short version. A friend (R) moved in with me in August. While lower than I wanted, I agreed to the rent sum he said he knew he could pay ($350/month). He also agreed to pay 1/2 of the difference if I added cable (already had internet and phone). The short version is that he moved out March 1st, owing me $477.55 (1 month of rent and all of his portion of the cable). Said he's pay me with his tax refund. State refund came in (he got a new tattoo). Federal came in the next week. I hadn't heard from him so I messaged him and h e told me he's used the online bill pay and I should get the check soon. It came that day, but was only for $450 (curiously the same amount he tried to get me to agree too when he said he was going to leave me his crock pot and electric skillet since he had no use for them at the new place). He never mentioned the shorted check. When asked, he said his refund had been "shorted a grand" and "cuts had to be made". Said he'd pay me but honestly didn't know when that would be. I told him that was the wrong answer adn that I expected by the end of the month. That was 2 weeks ago.

    Haven't heard from him. Nothing about the remaining money he owes me, the brand new external hard drive of mine he has (a couple weeks before he left he said he'd download a bunch of movies for me so I bought one and he took it with him), and nothing about the stuff he still has at the farm (not much, mostly mail). I should also mentioned that at some point after moving out he was expecting a check with back pay on it. A raise that was retroactive to the first of the year. We're talking about a 35yo man.

    So... WWYD? Where would you draw the line between money and principle? Peace of mind and your personal views on responsibility?
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2009
    Posts
    794

    Default

    He's a man. Men don't think back.

    He already figured out his math, his way - he's done.

    I would expect the hard drive back.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    8,136

    Default

    I would get the hard drive back, for sure.

    I would not stress about getting the $27.50 back. Chalk it up to a cheap lesson learned and if you ever go out to dinner with him or something, make him pay. It is a shitty thing of him to do, but for the sake of your own sanity and health, take a deep breath and let the $30 go.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug. 1, 2007
    Location
    West Palm Beach, FL
    Posts
    5,529

    Default

    Just let it go. Lesson learned.
    I find that a ducks opinion of me is very much influenced over whether or not I have bread. Ducks love bread but they do not have the capability to buy a loaf. Thats the biggest joke on the duck ever.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    4,662

    Default

    I'd let the $27.50 go and never, ever front this guy any money again. And, yeah, if you ever meet for drinks or dinner or whatever, he's paying.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 14, 2003
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    6,449

    Default

    I sure wouldn't stress about $27 nor let it damage a friendship. But I too would get the hard drive back.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 25, 2004
    Location
    Carolinas
    Posts
    5,255

    Default

    Request the hard drive. Doubt you will get it though. As for the other $'s consider it "life" grad school tuition.
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    16,180

    Default

    I think you are being screwed, OP.

    Call him up, tell him you want the hard drive back, yesterday.

    Tell him you want your $27.50. You let the guy move in with you, you wait for your dough, y'all are friends and he thinks it's cool to dick you for the last $27.50? Really? Let him know that it is *not* OK in your book, in part because the amount is so small. I do think you need to say this stuff out loud to him so that he can see that he's being a cheap POS to someone he considered a friend.

    Or, if you don't want to do this in the name of keeping a friendship, know that he made you pay him to be his friend. I don't pay anyone to be buds with me.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    4 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr. 1, 2008
    Posts
    4,662

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Canaqua View Post
    I'd let the $27.50 go and never, ever front this guy any money again. And, yeah, if you ever meet for drinks or dinner or whatever, he's paying.
    this^



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 1999
    Location
    Ohio: Charter Member - COTH Hockey Clique & COTH Buffy Clique
    Posts
    9,149

    Default

    Fronting him money is never going to happen again. He certainly isn't welcome to move back in EVER. I used to say that there may be better roommates, but he certainly wasn't at the bottom of my list. Notice "used to say". Since my marriage blew up, time spent with the majority in that group of friends has dwindled anyway... so I don't see us just hanging out. I messaged him late last night... mentioned how the end of the month has come and gone and I haven't heard from him. Asked what was going on re: the money, the hard drive and the stuff he left. Thank you FB, I know he read it. He hasn't replied. It's a personal flaw, but I HATE being ignored.

    When it comes to his mail, is there any trouble I could potentially be in by throwing it away? I know there are a couple bills in there.
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    16,180

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tle View Post
    Fronting him money is never going to happen again. He certainly isn't welcome to move back in EVER. I used to say that there may be better roommates, but he certainly wasn't at the bottom of my list. Notice "used to say". Since my marriage blew up, time spent with the majority in that group of friends has dwindled anyway... so I don't see us just hanging out. I messaged him late last night... mentioned how the end of the month has come and gone and I haven't heard from him. Asked what was going on re: the money, the hard drive and the stuff he left. Thank you FB, I know he read it. He hasn't replied. It's a personal flaw, but I HATE being ignored.

    When it comes to his mail, is there any trouble I could potentially be in by throwing it away? I know there are a couple bills in there.
    Meh, don't throw the bills away, but make no effort to help him run his life, either. You ain't his paid servant. But for a low, low $27.50 think of the help from you he could buy!
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 1999
    Location
    Ohio: Charter Member - COTH Hockey Clique & COTH Buffy Clique
    Posts
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    Default

    Nope, not intentionally screwing him... just wondering if I had to legally keep all his mail or if I could pitch it with the spring cleaning. It's been a month since he's been at the farm, and since the 14th since I last heard from him.

    As for being a paid servant... don't get me started. I used to say that I didn't love him enough to be his mom, wife, girlfriend or lover and he sure as hell wasn't paying me enough to be his maid! Yep, he was/is lazy on top of everything else. Money-wise, I was hoping to stretch his rental out to June (in order to pay off my next bill), but believe me... I'm MUCH happier at home with him gone.
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    4,662

    Default

    Do you know this man's mother?

    I ask because that's how I got money out of a dead beat friend waaaay back when. I was living in Boston and this man lived in Maine. He was 30ish at the time. His car was booted for unpaid parking tickets outside Fenway Park and he called me in the middle of the night asking for help. I let him sleep on my couch for the rest of that evening, but I wanted him out the next day. He had no money with him so I leant him some to pay off the tickets, get the boot off his car and go home. Promised to pay me back (about $300) as soon as the bank opened on Monday and he could wire money.

    Hem, haw, delay, hem, haw, delay, excuse, excuse.... A couple of months of this and I still didn't have my money. I knew his mother's name, she lived in the same town he did, though he did not live with her any more. I looked his mother up in the phone book and called her and told her the story...she was PISSED! She marched right over to his house (probably grabbed him by the ear and spanked him ) and I had the money wired to me the next day .


    14 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
    Location
    The rocky part of KY
    Posts
    9,793

    Default

    Been there done that. $14 that my friend owed me and was about to give to me, but oh sad so bad it got taken out of her pocket at a party, in 1973 that was a whole days' pay at minimum wage. And obviously 40 years later I still remember it with rancor.

    You are perfectly within your rights to mark his mail NLATA and send it back by handing it to your carrier. NLATA means No Longer At This Address and I gather he isn't.
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible


    4 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2002
    Location
    Area VIII, Region 2, Zone 5.
    Posts
    7,291

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by sketcher View Post
    I sure wouldn't stress about $27 nor let it damage a friendship. But I too would get the hard drive back.
    What friendship? Friends don't abuse their friends like this POS abused tle. I would not worry about $27, but I would not trust or give anything to this person, every again. As for the mail, you can give it back to the USPS as NLATA, or do what I'd do: just hang onto it. It's his problem if he didn't give the postal service a forwarding address. Don't destroy any First Class mail, though. That's a big no-no.
    Founding member of the "I Miss bar.ka" clique
    Founding member of the "I Miss Pocket Trainer" clique


    3 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    6,487

    Default

    If we loan money we consider it a gift and if we see it again we're happily surprised.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
    Location
    The rocky part of KY
    Posts
    9,793

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    Quote Originally Posted by cowboymom View Post
    If we loan money we consider it a gift and if we see it again we're happily surprised.
    Yes, I agree with that, but having someone agree to pay rent is a bit different.
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible


    7 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 1999
    Location
    Ohio: Charter Member - COTH Hockey Clique & COTH Buffy Clique
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    9,149

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    Quote Originally Posted by ReSomething View Post
    Yes, I agree with that, but having someone agree to pay rent is a bit different.
    Pretty much what I was going to say. If I had loaned him money, I'd be annoyed but LESS annoyed than I am about him skipping out on rent. The only "loan" was in the amount of time for him to pay, which was to be when he got his tax refund.

    Canaqua... don't know his mother, but I do know she's on FB. As are a lot of mutual friends.
    ************
    "Of course it's hard. It's supposed to be hard. It's the Hard that makes it great."

    "Get up... Get out... Get Drunk. Repeat as needed." -- Spike



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
    Posts
    5,717

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    Quote Originally Posted by sketcher View Post
    I sure wouldn't stress about $27 nor let it damage a friendship. But I too would get the hard drive back.
    I wouldn't raise a fuss over 427.50 either. But his evasiveness and behavior in general would make me question the value of the friendship.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Feb. 1, 2001
    Location
    Finally...back in civilization, more or less
    Posts
    11,678

    Default

    Personally I wouldn't chase the $27, and although I'd want the hard drive back, I'm not sure how much psychic energy I'd invest in that chase, either.

    As for the mail, I would write "Not at this address" on the outer envelopes and stick them back in the mail.
    **********
    We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.
    -PaulaEdwina


    1 members found this post helpful.

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