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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2003
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    2,639

    Default Augh! Teenagers!

    I know they grow up, and I have first-hand evidence that the lessons do sink in by the time they are adults, they do stop being so darned self-centered, they do become polite and considerate...

    But oh, lordy! my younger son is driving me insane at the age of 14! How on earth will I manage to civilize this creature in the next four years? And how am I not going to strangle him beforehand????

    Worst part is, he's pretty good kid. He gets good grades, he doesn't kick up much of a fuss about his chores...but there are times...
    Don't tell me about what you can't do. That's boring. Show me what you can do. - Mom



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2006
    Location
    At the back of the line
    Posts
    4,016

    Default

    Oh yea THAT age, mine 16 & I see human quality sometimes, this to shall pass, just require that he be civil & do chores.
    “Management is doing things right; leadership is doing the right things.” Peter Drucker



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2013
    Posts
    306

    Default

    Boarding school.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 16, 2007
    Location
    My very own sliver of heaven.
    Posts
    1,303

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by inne View Post
    Boarding school.
    I think boarding school made me worse, not better!!

    No advice as I'm less than a decade past my teen years, but hang in there, OP!!
    Nine out of ten times, you'll get it wrong...but it's that tenth time that you get it right that makes all the difference.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2010
    Posts
    5,975

    Default

    I've heard it sinks in. I live in your version of hell--I teach this age and have for 15 years. I rarely get to see the good results. I just repeat, repeat, repeat and hope to brainwash them that they CAN do it with effort, that it is their JOB to work and be a contributing part of society, and that it's not all about them and the mean things they do hurt other people.

    I had one of my nasty 14 year old boys do this thing Thursday. Maybe every few years I get a kid I truly don't like. I don't like this boy. He does nothing, he distracts and makes fun of everyone and he's a lazy SOB. When I give the class lecture, he comes up to me smirking, can he transfer out of my class? He doesn't like me. Last time he did this I called his mother and she was appalled and embarrassed. Apparently he got the lecture. I think I need to call home again.

    Don't know. I'm not allowed to use a shock collar, but maybe you can?


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar. 22, 2005
    Location
    Where it is perpetually winter
    Posts
    5,160

    Default

    Well, this might not be a popular sentiment, but...

    My parents didn't make excuses. I was expected to behave like a proper human being all. the. time. None of this "well, s/he's a teenager" BS. If I talked back to my parents (which was rare), there were serious consequences. Every time. No excuses. They gave me a lot of leeway - I didn't have a curfew or anything, but I had to be up early to go to the barn so I was never out late. But no one ever justified bad behavior because "that's what teenagers do." Teenagers can behave themselves just like anything else.

    I think I turned out all right.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    9,788

    Default

    My mom, while not a stellar parent in a LOT of ways, did expect me to not be a shithead. She set me up with rules and expectations, and if I failed, there were consequences.

    But I was raised that way. Do what you're told, more or less immediately, or there was a consequence. Do well in school, or there was a consequence. Don't cause a scene, or you will be dragged out of the store and spanked (younger, obviously). Oh the embarrassment of THAT was enough deterrent alone, even as a little tot I remember her asking if I wanted to go to the car, and the embarrassment of other people seeing me disciplined was more correcting than a threatened spanking ever could be. Face it, spankings on a whole don't hurt.

    But my consequences were emotionally damaging, hours of screaming about how ungrateful I am peppered with swear words that would make a sailor blush, and her asking the ceiling repeatedly what she ever did to deserve me, then of course the silent treatment for hours or days depending on how awful I had been, and no matter how I cried and begged and said I was sorry would stop her when she was rolling...

    ....so you might want to find a better consequence. If your teenager doesn't have fear of consequences at this point though? Good luck.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2006
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    507

    Default

    Good luck.

    Like many above, I was raised to be respectful and responcible all the time. Was I - probably not but all in all I was a good kid.

    What MY parents did was I got extra chores as consequences for being rotten. They went so far as to provide new landscaping that needed to be done in order to provide us with heavy, dirty chores (I remember spreading a dump-truck load of gravel on the driveway for example).



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2003
    Posts
    2,639

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by supershorty628 View Post
    Well, this might not be a popular sentiment, but...

    My parents didn't make excuses. I was expected to behave like a proper human being all. the. time. None of this "well, s/he's a teenager" BS. If I talked back to my parents (which was rare), there were serious consequences. Every time. No excuses. They gave me a lot of leeway - I didn't have a curfew or anything, but I had to be up early to go to the barn so I was never out late. But no one ever justified bad behavior because "that's what teenagers do." Teenagers can behave themselves just like anything else.

    I think I turned out all right.

    Just because I rant a bit doesn't mean he didn't get whacked with the discipline stick. It does mean that I dislike having to break out the discipline stick.

    I mean, really: I taught this kid basic manners from Day One. He was getting pretty good at the application of aforementioned manners...and then he gets all...teenagery on me. Like a toddler on hormones.

    Trust me: your folks didn't like breaking out the discipline stick any more than I do. And I bet they griped after you went to bed, too.
    Don't tell me about what you can't do. That's boring. Show me what you can do. - Mom



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