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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Nov. 22, 2012
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    124

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    I'm another that is not in church today because my church and I have gone different directions. The last election cycle was very hurtful. I feel that too many Christians in the US are fighting for the wrong things. And forgetting the important words of our Savior about not judging, helping the poor and weak and not flaunting their faith.

    I also had a bout with a life threatening illness and the members of my church helped me enormously. But, since then, our pastor has "drunk the koolaid" and made it hard for me to enjoy worship. It is sad, because it is a small, older church with the familiar hymns and traditional service. For a long time, I tried to follow the idea that the church was the people, not the pastor, but I finally could not deal with the direction of the Prayers of the Church and about every other sermon. We have done some church shopping since then, but I haven't gotten any good feeling yet.

    So, I'm sitting home instead and this thread is helping me remember what this day is all about.

    Christ is risen indeed!!!



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2004
    Location
    Piedmont Triad, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,356

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    Church is the community of believers. It's meant to support each other in faith and body... Not a building. If you don't get that, you're not in the right church for you.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Mar. 28, 2002
    Location
    East of Dog River
    Posts
    5,752

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    I am certainly missing it deeply this morning. Easter Sunday brings out so many of my favourite hymns and here I am, stuck with a dead truck and a Jeep behind a wall of snow. Later, will fire up the keyboard and have my own service for me and the cats. I would have had my neigbour pick me up but cars can easily get well and truly stuck in the mess here - hard packed snow with a 'frill' of soft, tire-grabbing stuff that people somehow end up driving into and I have to pull them out.
    Founder of the Dyslexic Clique. Dyslexics of the world - UNTIE!!

    Member: Incredible Invisbles


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2004
    Posts
    4,304

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    ezduzit, I agree with you. Mr. Chai is at Church today. He finds great fulfillment in attending but to me it is a more personal thing. Plus the minister I so admired turned out to be a rather chilling sociopath who was caught in a number of lies and deceptions and sent on his way, but not until hurting many people in the Congregation. Then there is the horrible abuse of children in the Catholic Church and the fact that the Cardinal who knew all and did nothing is now living in luxury in Rome. Seems to me he should be answering charges in the city of Boston instead.
    So, to me, faith is a personal relationship, but to each, his own. Personally, I've always felt closest to God among my horses and the outdoors.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan. 22, 2011
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    357

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    OP, maybe a Bible study would be more your style? My mother only occasionally goes to church, mostly for the reasons you've mentioned. She hates the new music and that people don't dress up, and she hates having to say hello to people she's never met. She goes sometimes to hear the message, but she often feels like she doesn't get anything out of what the pastor is preaching. So she has a Bible study with a group of ladies on Thursday mornings, where they work their way through the Bible and do lessons on a section each week. She really enjoys that, because she doesn't feel forced to act a certain way or do a certain thing like she is in church. Of course, you are free to worship your own way. You don't have to go to church if it doesn't bring you closer to God.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Nov. 10, 2008
    Location
    Reeds, MO
    Posts
    31

    Default No, you're not way off base, in fact you are right on.

    Keep "going to church" your own way (listening to the rustling in the grass) and let the other go. Lose the angst. You are not wrong, time has just gone on. (And I missing the dressing up in church, also. And I never go any longer, either.)
    "To ride a horse is to borrow freedom."


    2 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    861

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    Check out Hebrews 10:24-25. It mostly says to gather to praise him, which is what our version of Church is. That is why I say that getting together at Easter and praising the Lord would work.
    Railgirl.blogspot.com


    2 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Feb. 4, 2005
    Location
    San Antonio, TX, or thereabouts
    Posts
    690

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    Today was a gorgeous, celebratory day. Ez, find a new church! There are so many options. Find one that meets your most pressing need (sermon? music? size?) and jump in.....but not to spectate. Jump in to serve others with your own special gift.

    Jesus was among people - crowds, throngs, multitudes - to spread his good news; your Christian faith asks more of you than to ponder alone, always. The church is most certainly more than a building or a time, but it also most certainly includes people! (This, by the way, from a self-confessed hermit, so not an easy confession for me to make.)

    My Children's Church room was filled to overflowing with fluffy dresses and button-down shirts and CHAOS this morning, and it was my Big Blessing of the day. Not because I love stuffing 40 candied children in my room () but because I had the chance to mentor and teach and love on the kids who were there, and to allow their parents to hear the good news. That is my gift.

    The cool thing is, we are each equipped with our unique gift! Perhaps finding yours and putting it to work in service to Christ would help make "time together" more appealing? No judgement from me, just a thought.

    Truly, best wishes and blessings to you this day.
    "And now," cried Max, "let the wild rumpus start!"


    3 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
    Posts
    2,263

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    There seems to be a common bond connecting us horse lovers. Maybe it is the horse and thru him, the spirituality of Him. For so many of us, it is superior to anything man had dreamed. Maybe belief, faith, worship was never meant to be more than that.

    You have all helped me to accept that what *is* isn't for me and what I *wish for* will probably never come back. I loved my days singing in the choir, my teen friends, the community. That was a lifetime ago. One by one I have weeded out the chaf in my life...seems like home, family and horses is all that's left. It's more than most people get. I am blessed.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
    Posts
    2,263

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    Blue Yonder...you hit on a biggie for me. There are no children in this congregation. DH said there was today and you'll see them again at Christmas. But on a regular basis it's just a bunch of old adults going thru the motions. There's no life or vibrancy to it. And it's small...50 people at a service is BIG. So pretty clannish in that they don't understand a senior who rides, hangs out with young people and still loves the thrill of horses. I really have nothing in common with women my age. Except for the horse shows.

    I love the kids, their spontaneity, their energy. Hard to find a child who isn't filled with wonder and amazement! I miss that.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    8,468

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    Oh, I can understand that! But, for me, I am at odds with my church because we do not have strong Christian female mentors and leaders. I also feel that there is no outreach. If and when my house closes, I am visiting a church known for it's strong leadership, women who do more than bake and crafts and preen about when hubby gets back, and it's commitment to a rescue mission. I also understand that there are a lot of hookers about a mile from there, right by the gas station I plan to use. Plenty of opportunity to help and get involved
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2008
    Posts
    2,841

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    Quote Originally Posted by ezduzit View Post
    I have so much angst about not going to church. I have a deep and abiding faith, a love for Jesus and our beautiful earth; all the lovely plants and animals on it. What I don't understand is going to church and how that is a holy thing to do; or necessary....I hate that in order to be a *good* Christian, I am expected to get up at a certain time, get to a certain place and follow somebody else's idea of what worship is. How do they know that their way is the *right* way to worship.
    I think that if it bothers you, that means you still want some exterior, community-focused structure in your religious life. If you were truly contented to worship in nature or at the barn, you'd be content and this thread wouldn't exist. I don't think we share a religion, but all religions place a great value on the concept of faith. Maybe you're at a point where you need to put faith in the value of doing some things you no longer feel strongly about, like attending services, and persevere in doing them anyway.



  13. #33
    Join Date
    Oct. 7, 2006
    Location
    on and off the bit
    Posts
    4,111

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    I can't really add anything to the good replies you've already gotten. They've done me good too, made me feel better about not getting to church today (or any nights during Holy Week this year).

    I don't really enjoy being in large crowds even when I know the church building and a lot of the people. Very, very stressful for me to visit an unfamiliar church (which is why I didn't go when friends invited me to go with them to their church on Maundy Thursday this past week).

    That said, I can recommend the Episcopal Church. Not each and every parish, of course, but the denomination in general. In my experience, no teleprompters, no hymn words up on the wall, just good traditional hymnals. And no long pause to "say hey to your neighbor," but, as part of the Communion portion of the service, the "Peace," when the priest says to the congregation, "The peace of the Lord be always with you," and the congregation replies, "And also with you," and then turn to each other and say something like "Peace be with you." In my experience, this is NOT a time to exchange news, ask after family members, etc.; it is JUST an "exchange of peace." You say "Peace be with you," shake hands, and that is IT. Very peaceful!
    Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
    People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
    "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique



  14. #34
    Join Date
    Jul. 21, 2011
    Location
    Co
    Posts
    4,485

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    Quote Originally Posted by Schune View Post
    I am a lifelong atheist. I considered going to church this morning.

    But only because I want more reasons to wear my derby/church hat that I bought for a fundraiser last year
    Here's your song! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wogta8alHiU



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    11,886

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    Quote Originally Posted by twotrudoc View Post
    I am not going and I'm about the biggest newest Jesus loving born again Christian you may know

    A good church is worth its weight in gold. I go, when I go, to fellowship and pitch in where.needed. Church is not meant to be the only time you "act good", dress up and put on a showy grandstand so everyone can see how religious you are . God isn't real fond of that either.

    Church should teach you the Word and bring you together with other Christians who support, encourage you but also can hold you accountable.

    Have a good Resurrection Day, God bless.
    Me too! Although my faith is very new found.
    I have not met anyone that I can really talk to about Jesus and I am just not sure what church would even be right for me.
    I continue to read the bible, and some wonderful books that a fellow Cother recommended to me.
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.



  16. #36
    Join Date
    Nov. 26, 2006
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    709

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    Quote Originally Posted by hosspuller View Post
    Church is the community of believers. It's meant to support each other in faith and body... Not a building. If you don't get that, you're not in the right church for you.
    Yes, Yes, 1000x yes.

    I moved last year and it took almost 6 months of "church shopping" before I finally found a church that I loved & connected with. And it was not even on my list of original options (I'm an ethnic minority in the church and didn't consider it initially). I was seeking a church that was biblically conservative with a young worship-style and active small groups. My new church is AWESOME!! But I had to awkwardly attend a lot of new services before I found it. I tried to attend the one my friends went to for several weeks, but the pastor was flippant about some issues I think are important in the bible and finally had to recognize that I should not go to a church just because my friends go there.

    I guarantee the church you are looking for exists, but it may take you a while to find it. Be patient & pray!



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2001
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    4,395

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    I am a life long Catholic. We have a very ritualized mass, saying the same things every time. Sometimes I like it and sometimes it annoys me.
    Also, the music at my church stinks. Catholic hymns are horrible and draggy.
    The priest, god love him, is not a good speaker.
    I'd rather sit on my couch and watch that joel guy on TV.
    Add to that the church handed out leaflets on how to vote if you were a good Catholic.... so apparently i am not.
    I would love to see the Catholic church accept gay marriage, or at least gay PEOPLE.
    so there ya go.
    fed horse by myself this morning and thought about Jesus at 3:00 on Good Friday.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    8,468

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sannois View Post
    Me too! Although my faith is very new found.
    I have not met anyone that I can really talk to about Jesus and I am just not sure what church would even be right for me.
    I continue to read the bible, and some wonderful books that a fellow Cother recommended to me.
    How long? 4 years and 3 or so months for me
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Mar. 7, 2008
    Location
    Spokane, WA
    Posts
    255

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    I am an atheist and go to church as many Sundays as I can! I always envied several of my friends who really benefit (physically, emotionally, and spiritually) from attending various Christian churches, but am not hypocritical enough to attend and pretend I believe. Through a COTH Off-Topic Post last year, I discovered a local Unitarian Universalist church and have attended nearly every Sunday since my first visit. The minister is an atheist as well as an excellent, intelligent, educated speaker. I have gotten something out of every sermon he has given and if I miss one I read it online. I have also met many people from all walks of life and they have all been welcoming. There are lots of small groups that get together to do things that I find stimulating and valuable. Thankfully, there is no teleprompter (!) and we sing songs/hymns from all different cultures and faiths (I love music). I have finally found a community of people who I can interact with spiritually who share my values of openness, inclusivity, and taking action to make the world a better place. There are no prayers in the service, no mindless recitations of words, lots of children (and a children's story before they go to their classes), and meditation. Some days I wear jeans and some days I dress up - other attendees also span that spectrum and this suits me just fine (I dress this way in all areas of my life!).

    I suspect you are looking for this type of community and interaction with people - often we don't even know that is what we are missing until we find it. I feel very blessed to have finally found it. It is out there - you just need to search for it. Until you find, don't feel guilty about not going to the right church - if it isn't filling your needs, it isn't worth your time. But do keep looking for the right one - when you find it, it will feel right.



  20. #40
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    11,886

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    Quote Originally Posted by twotrudoc View Post
    How long? 4 years and 3 or so months for me
    A year this is Easter!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.



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