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  1. #21
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    Jul. 21, 2011
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    Quote Originally Posted by supershorty628 View Post
    I've been thinking about this a lot as I have about 6 weeks left to figure out all the details before I get married - does anyone know about keeping your maiden name for professional purposes but using your married name socially?

    I like my last name. It's short, it's almost impossible to spell it wrong (unlike future Mr. Supershorty's), and I have already established myself with it. I would like to keep it, especially so when I am in a professional setting aside from riding, it's short and simple for clients. Future Mr. Supershorty doesn't feel super strongly, but would like it if I used his last name.

    I've met people before who used their maiden name in professional settings and went socially by "Mrs. [husband's last name]" - can anyone give me advice on this? I've been looking it up on Google and I don't think it's as uncommon as I previously thought, but would love whatever information anyone has.

    Also would appreciate tips for surviving wedding planning end stages! Thanks!
    First, congratulations! and I hope you have a long and happy life together!

    Your last name is short, so the hyphen may be the way to go. Legally you will have his name and if that is important to him by all means compromise ..however you can leave the second name off of your business cards, stationery, etc.. if you choose. If an internet presence is important in your profession ,will people be googling your name and need to know any name change to find you? If so, that could be a consideration.

    So,
    LEGALLY: Supershorty Smith-Whatsamajigger.
    IN BUSINESS: Supershorty Smith.
    SOCIALLY: Mrs (Supershorty)Whatsamajigger.

    If your work life and your social life never intersect, no confusion. If they do, the hyphen is not uncommon, and no one will think twice about it.

    Your friends will know who you are (obviously)!



    I am (it seems) unusual in my feelings about weddings. I feel that less is more. Too many people start their married lives off in a state of nervous exhaustion due to "THE WEDDING". Relax. Everything does not have to be perfect. The wedding lasts only a tiny fraction of what will (hopefully) be a long and happy time together. Have fun!



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2006
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    VA
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    I changed it legally and professionally, but most people still call me by my maiden name, and it isn't changed in all of our systems. It doesn't bother me either way, but my husband wanted me to take his name, and since I love him and all I just went along with it.
    It is a giant PITA though, especially if you are established in any way.
    Railgirl.blogspot.com



  3. #23
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    Sep. 25, 2003
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    Rochester, NY
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    Been married for 10 years. Have worked at the same place for 23 years. I kept my maiden name at work. I like the privacy of the work people not easily knowing my facebook page etc... It's a bit of a problem (banks, doctor), but then I just put my maiden name as my middle name and the married name as the last name. I say keep your maiden name. After all it's YOUR name. When I was divorced, the FIRST thing I did was go back to my maiden name.
    ~~~~~*~*~*~*~*~
    “ride your own horse” from sayings for life.



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2006
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    NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by skydy View Post
    So,
    LEGALLY: Supershorty Smith-Whatsamajigger.
    IN BUSINESS: Supershorty Smith.
    SOCIALLY: Mrs (Supershorty)Whatsamajigger.
    Just out of curiosity, what does "socially" mean? I am trying to imagine my life with a "social" name...my friends know my last name (and many of my female friends also kept their maiden name so it's easy to remember what to do...); my work friends knew me by my maiden name only; only my dh's parents thought I changed my name.

    But who are these "social" people that know you by your dh's name? I'm honestly not trying to be snarky, I'm truly wondering. Most of my dh's friends were either his colleagues or mine, until we had kids. Many of my kids' parents don't know my last name, but I don't really care because I don't actually ever get together with them or communicate in any "formal" (aka written way)....

    I know of quite a number of people who went legally by "Mrs. Maiden Married", but in business kept their name as "Ms. Maiden." I really can't think of a single person who goes by something else other than those two things except for when telemarketers call and say "Mrs. Married name?" and then you say "No, there is no one here by that name!" (That's HOW you know it's a telemarketer!)



  5. #25
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    Jul. 28, 2004
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    USA
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    Check the laws in your state. Husband's last name might not automatically be yours. I know in my state it's not.

    Also, and not to be a Debbie Downer, but I hear women so many women say they take their husband's last name so that she will have the same last name as the kids, and years later she's remarried with yet another new last name (or divorced and gone back to the maiden name), which is now different than the kids' last name since they have the dad's name. Again, not saying that to be a downer or saying that will happen to you, but just pointing it out.



  6. #26
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    Feb. 7, 2005
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    Lancaster, PA
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    I work in TV and lots of people do this (on-air talent), especially if they have already established themselves under their maiden name or if it is easier to spell/pronounce.



  7. #27
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    Mar. 22, 2005
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    Where it is perpetually winter
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaturdayNightLive View Post
    Hey cyber twin, when's your wedding date? Because mine is in approximately six weeks too and that would be too weird.
    I just LOLed because I asked you the same question on another thread and called you my twin (and hadn't seen this post yet). Mine is 5/23!

    Quote Originally Posted by Heinz 57 View Post
    Breathe.

    Using two names sounds rather complicated. Are you planning on having kids eventually? I hear it's much easier if you have the same legal name as your children.
    Not planning on kids (ever!). If I did, I could ask my parents about that, as my mom kept her maiden name and actually, that's what my last name is. They've been married for 30 years this year!



  8. #28
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    Sep. 20, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by supershorty628 View Post
    I just LOLed because I asked you the same question on another thread and called you my twin (and hadn't seen this post yet). Mine is 5/23!
    I totally PM'd you!

    My wedding is 5/11.

    It's somewhat comforting to know that we are not getting married the exact same day and so are not, in fact, the same person. Although I'd still love to ride as well as you.
    "Are you yawning? You don't ride well enough to yawn. I can yawn, because I ride better than you. Meredith Michael Beerbaum can yawn. But you? Not so much..."
    -George Morris


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
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    Mar. 22, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by skydy View Post
    First, congratulations! and I hope you have a long and happy life together!

    I am (it seems) unusual in my feelings about weddings. I feel that less is more. Too many people start their married lives off in a state of nervous exhaustion due to "THE WEDDING". Relax. Everything does not have to be perfect. The wedding lasts only a tiny fraction of what will (hopefully) be a long and happy time together. Have fun!
    Thank you!!

    I feel that less is more too, it's more surviving my mother and future mother-in-law getting frantic about it that's my issue!
    Last edited by supershorty628; Mar. 30, 2013 at 12:38 AM.



  10. #30
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    Apr. 3, 2006
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    Spooner, WI
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    I'm old so YMMV. I kept my maiden name. First marriage I took husbands name, second I hyphenated, last I kept my maiden. I owned too many things to go about changing everything. PITA the first 2 times. Still haunted with 3rd class mail from 2nd marriage 13 years later!

    DH was a little disappointed until I asked him if he would like to change his name and all that went with it. Big resounding NO. Well then....



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Jul. 21, 2011
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    Co
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    Quote Originally Posted by S1969 View Post
    Just out of curiosity, what does "socially" mean? I am trying to imagine my life with a "social" name...my friends know my last name (and many of my female friends also kept their maiden name so it's easy to remember what to do...); my work friends knew me by my maiden name only; only my dh's parents thought I changed my name.

    But who are these "social" people that know you by your dh's name? I'm honestly not trying to be snarky, I'm truly wondering. Most of my dh's friends were either his colleagues or mine, until we had kids. Many of my kids' parents don't know my last name, but I don't really care because I don't actually ever get together with them or communicate in any "formal" (aka written way)....

    I know of quite a number of people who went legally by "Mrs. Maiden Married", but in business kept their name as "Ms. Maiden." I really can't think of a single person who goes by something else other than those two things except for when telemarketers call and say "Mrs. Married name?" and then you say "No, there is no one here by that name!" (That's HOW you know it's a telemarketer!)
    Supershorty did not specify, but I had the image of husband's work colleagues at a party or other outing ,such as attending a wedding of husband's family member or old friend who don't know Supershorty's maiden name etc..



  12. #32
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    Jun. 23, 2010
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    Absolutely keep your maiden name, if you want to. I did, and it's never been a problem for me or for my husband. People who don't know us well will sometimes refer to me as Mrs. Husband's name, and that's fine. And yes, we do sometimes get mail (or wedding invitations) addressed to Mr. And Mrs. Hinderellla. He's good natured, he doesn't care.



  13. #33
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    Jul. 21, 2011
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    Good luck on toning down the Mom's enthusiasm Supershorty!



  14. #34
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    Feb. 25, 2012
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    I had many years with my maiden name so used it as a middle name and took my husbands last name. Its a great name and he was jacked about it. Now people just call me lilitiger HUSBANDS NAME and its no big deal. And all our stuff matches, which is handy. And on FB sometimes he and I and his kids will all be commenting on a thread and all you can see is a long line of HIS LAST NAME. No regrets.I liked my maiden name but I also like being Ms. X as well!



  15. #35
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    Feb. 3, 2000
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    Quote Originally Posted by SaturdayNightLive View Post
    My wedding is 5/11.
    That is MY anniversary!!! (1996).

    Just be warned that your anniversary will fall on/near Mothers Day, so it may be hard to get restaurant reservations.

    I kept my maiden name. I was already over 40., and had too much of my life known by my maiden name.

    When people ask ,I say "He did not change his name when we got married."

    My husband is a teacher. The people at the school call me Mrs. Hisname, and that is fine with me. He sometimes gets called Mr. Myname, and we have a good laugh.
    Janet

    chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now).


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
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    Sep. 20, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by Janet View Post
    That is MY anniversary!!! (1996).

    Just be warned that your anniversary will fall on/near Mothers Day, so it may be hard to get restaurant reservations.
    Aw, that's awesome!

    And yes, I noticed that 5/12 is Mother's Day this year. I probably should have studied the calendar a little harder.
    "Are you yawning? You don't ride well enough to yawn. I can yawn, because I ride better than you. Meredith Michael Beerbaum can yawn. But you? Not so much..."
    -George Morris



  17. #37
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    Nov. 13, 2004
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    No advice, just congratulations! You too, SNL!
    "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep."
    - Harry Dresden

    Horse Isle 2: Legend of the Esrohs LifeCycle Breeding and competition MMORPG


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
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    Jan. 10, 2008
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    Western NY
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    I kept my maiden name legally, but use my husband's name for teaching (my students all started calling me by the new name because they were excited when I got married, and it stuck) and usually for social purposes (it's easier to pronounce than my maiden name).
    "Remain relentlessly cheerful."

    Graphite/Pastel Portraits



  19. #39
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    Jul. 28, 2004
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    I think it's cool your mom kept her last name and that is yours. She must have been considered a flaming liberal for keeping her name 30 years ago!

    One of my good friends kept her name when she got married, and at the wedding reception, she and her new husband were announced as Jane Doe and John Smith. I was standing near one of his aunts, and she was horrified and said, nearly in tears and with a long southern drawl, "they should be saying Mr. and Mrs. John Smith."

    And just to add, I don't think of my last name as a "maiden" name, it's just my name, period. It's not going anywhere.


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  20. #40
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    Jan. 27, 2004
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    Yonder, USA
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    Like many others, I was already established professionally and spent thirty-odd years learning to answer to a particular name. So, I never changed it legally and use only my maiden name at work.

    Away from my job, I tell people that I answer to any combination of my name, his name, or both, and to use whatever version they like. Some people are confused, a few are offended, but pretty much everyone managed to deal with it.
    ---------------------------



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