I could have written this same exact post! Scary! Like you, it took me 10 years to get out of dodge, so to speak. Looking back I feel like such an @ss, but I'm also confident that my ex trainer will, "...do herself in, all on her own," so all I can do is move forward and be grateful I've escaped.
Oh wow, TuxWink...I thought I was the only one.
You know the craziest part...is that I have had so many people come up to me in the past couple of months, congratulating me for leaving, and I'm hearing more stories about this woman than I ever imagined.
I felt like such an @ss for staying so long too...but looking back..there were reasons why I stayed. She made me feel like she was the only one who knew best for my horses, and that they were going to deteriorate without her training and care. Well...so far, after 2 months, they are doing better than ever.
Hopefully, the more we can share our stories...the less people will have to go through the same situation. It was through the help of COTH, that I was able to make the break! Posting about the situation and having people back up what I knew in my own mind, gave me the validation to make the changes.
Good luck, OP! I'm glad you were able to get out of your situation before much more damage was done to your horse. I have one very frightened mare, that is going to take a lot of patience, understanding and care to get past her issues. Fortunately, I have the time to work with her, and she is going to be fabulous once I can get her confidence back up. She trusts me, and I have found a couple of really good people to work with that I think can help us make it through.
Unashamed Member of the Dressage Arab Clique
CRAYOLA POSSE= Thistle
Just saw this thread and have to say I'm insanely jealous of you riding with Tracey Lert and so happy you've found the guidance and support you need. Tracey is the thing I miss most about the Bay Area, having moved out of state! Enjoy your rides with her!