The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 23
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 26, 2007
    Posts
    762

    Default Disobedience from the beast in the far lot

    After a mind-numbing day, I came out of the building, and espied my large, expensive, always-hungry transport beast at the far end of the lot. I jangled my keys, my usual signal to my horse for, "I'm here; come on over and we'll go have some fun." I stood there, expecting the usual pricked ears, the accommodating head bob that means, "Coming, mum!" and the subsequent ambling over of my beloved beast. But there was no response. I clucked several times. "Hup-up, girl!" I called clearly into the cold night air. No response. Alittle worried, I called, louder, "Step up, hon. Come, girl."

    I stood there for at good 10 seconds, I kid you not, while various polite strangers avoided me, before I realized that I was at work, expecting my car to drive itself over to me.

    Fortunately, I work at a hospital, so it is not too far to the quiet room with the soft bracelets attached to the stretcher and the special medicine and the nice people who sit with you to keep you from doing anything foolish. :-)


    24 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 1, 2008
    Posts
    4,536

    Default

    actually the quiet room and nice people who sit with you sound nice....the rest, well not so much.

    thanks for the giggle.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
    Posts
    2,087

    Default

    Hahahaha, I can visualize that!!!! I've clucked encouragement to the rig I drive at work, it lacks power and sometimes going up a steep grade it will "drop to a trot".
    "All top hat and no canter". *Graureiter*


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct. 19, 2009
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    762

    Default

    I mean really



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 18, 2011
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    223

    Default

    Thank you for the giggle! Trying to think, but the worst I can come up with is clucking at various family members (and occasional random strangers) to shift their arses over.
    Horsey romances written by a horsey person
    www.JesseHayworth.com


    2 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,888

    Default

    At least you don't do it the way I do:

    "Who's momma's precious pookah? Come here, my beloved..... Where have you been all day besides locked in this paddock?"

    "Not coming? What, you read some sh!t about having free will? Well F U. Come the F over here. Don't make me walk over there so that I can beat you...."

    That'll get you a bipolar diagnosis, pronto.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    12 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    11,808

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    At least you don't do it the way I do:

    "Who's momma's precious pookah? Come here, my beloved..... Where have you been all day besides locked in this paddock?"

    "Not coming? What, you read some sh!t about having free will? Well F U. Come the F over here. Don't make me walk over there so that I can beat you...."

    That'll get you a bipolar diagnosis, pronto.
    And who has not mumbled that a time or two when trying to get ones beast from the pasture, as they quietly give you the hoof and walk away.
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep. 23, 2002
    Location
    Eastern MA
    Posts
    2,332

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jess h View Post
    Thank you for the giggle! Trying to think, but the worst I can come up with is clucking at various family members (and occasional random strangers) to shift their arses over.
    PSA: random people in the grocery store do NOT like when you cluck and firmly say "Over!" when they're blocking the butter you want to grab...

    OP - HAH! I haven't quite done that, but I often try to half-halt my car, and I certainly give him pats!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    May. 21, 2012
    Posts
    1,258

    Default

    Oh Sharon- I know that confusion well- driving the old VW home from the carriage stable and having my heart rate soar because a garbage bag was coming at us down the street like a tumbleweed. Steady. Steady.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 13, 2007
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    887

    Default

    I understand completely! I arrived for a business meeting and while I was walking through the parking lot, a neighborhood dog started barking. Next thing I know, I'm bellowing "Blue, shut UP!" (Yes, my dog was currently about 10 miles away!)

    Many more strange looks all around.
    "Dogs give and give and give. Cats are the gift that keeps on grifting." –Bradley Trevor Greive


    3 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 25, 2011
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    5,039

    Default

    That was brilliant! We all crazy. I often give voice to Fella's thoughts while speaking to other humans. For example, he's in huge paddock with a hill and he often sees me, looks up when I call....and then waits. I fancy he says, "Walk, bitch, your fat ass can use the exercise".

    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


    6 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan. 24, 2006
    Location
    saginaw michigan
    Posts
    52

    Default

    I've got geldings',but for some reason,all of our trucks' have female names.Old Betsey(Lil'Blue) the Chevy 6cyl.a 94,BIG GIRL,the Ford,dual tanks,250+overdrive the GMC with the 3" lift kit all with bells and whistles.Black Beauty-now my daughter bought another GMC,nice truck-but what's this 1' name? And,by the way,I cluck,kiss,andchange my seat inadvertly'in driving any of them-Too Funny!!



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan. 21, 2003
    Location
    Charles Town, WV
    Posts
    6,637

    Default

    Ha! Every time I go around a steep curve and have to apply the brakes going in and the gas to bring it out I say to myself - "OK, half halt and rebalance and then push on"
    Tranquility Farm - Proud breeder of Born in the USA Sport Horses, and Cob-sized Warmbloods
    Now apparently completely invisible!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar. 25, 2011
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    5,039

    Default

    Ooh, I forgot! I play dressage games with speed limit signs while driving my truck. I try to time my change in speed limit to match the declared speed limit by the time my front tire is in front of the sign. Of course I only do this on slow roads (especially in speed camera zones and places where they truly enforce the speed limit like school zones), not like on the highway or anything like that.

    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep. 11, 2008
    Location
    Snohomish, WA
    Posts
    3,878

    Default

    ROFL. Excellent. Like it hasn't happened to all of us at one time or another. I may try the cluck and move bit next time.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar. 31, 2011
    Posts
    93

    Default

    I've got the reverse, ever since I got one of those car key fobs with the "unlock" button: I keep trying to open everything with the button, including the horse's stall door. Darn thing never works.

    'plash


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov. 29, 2011
    Posts
    128

    Default

    I cluck to the drivers in front of me if I feel they are not moving fast enough, they ignore it just like my horse sigh...


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2012
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    86

    Default

    OMG, I have howled so much through this thread I took a coughing fit

    This thread needed a "spewing coffee through your nose" PSA!

    I have experienced many similar moments, much to the embarrassment of friends, coworkes, and my everloving family.
    HRMT



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Dec. 19, 2007
    Location
    Camden, DE
    Posts
    1,948

    Default

    I clucked at some shopping carts the other day while I was returning mine to the cart corral. I cluck at my cat (which, isn't too bad) and tell things to "whoa" all the time. I think I walked behind a car just the other day and said "whoa" as if I were walking behind a horse.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2002
    Location
    Calera, AL
    Posts
    1,901

    Default

    I cluck at cars, my SO, my cats, my SO's dogs. My SO really doesn't like it when I forget what I'm doing and say "OVER!" to him. lol! I tell his ill-mannered dogs "WHOA" and "ACK" when I'm trying to walk them. Half the time if he wants them in the basement but they won't go all it takes from me is a loud "OUT" and there they go.

    I tell him, god knows I'm no trainer of cats, dogs, horses or men but once you get used to telling something that outweighs you by at least 900lbs, you realize you have to be pretty damn clear the first time you ask. Once you get that communication established it all gets pretty low key and quiet.

    That said, I still have to yell and cluck at my Focus to pick it's ass up going up a hill if the a/c is on. That damn car is never going to learn...
    "Dogs are man's best friend. Cats are man's adorable little serial killer." -- theoatmeal.com


    2 members found this post helpful.

Similar Threads

  1. Groomers, can you tell me how to tame this beast?
    By spacytracy in forum The Menagerie
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: Feb. 25, 2013, 05:43 PM
  2. Spinoff--correcting disobedience in the rehab horse
    By LuvMyTB in forum Hunter/Jumper
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: Mar. 20, 2010, 08:23 AM
  3. Correcting Disobedience
    By horsegurl in forum Hunter/Jumper
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: Mar. 19, 2010, 05:28 PM
  4. Handling disobedience when alone?
    By cnvh in forum Off Course
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Feb. 9, 2010, 03:10 PM
  5. Songs for relaxing the beast...
    By SharonA in forum Endurance and Trail Riding
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: Nov. 27, 2008, 12:01 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness