Wow thanks for the thoughts! I did talk to her today to understand where she was coming from with her suggestions. I ride english and am looking into eventing this year if I can get out regularly with Miss Mare to get her accustomed to being in new places without having a stress meltdown. (She was amazing today on the trails nearby with her trail buddy, we rode on the buckle for a bit!)
The trainer is in the camp of that a good rider can ride any saddle on any horse. However she also agrees that a rider does need good equipment but its good to also learn to ride correctly no matter what comes your way. She was also concerned that if I continue to exercise/lease other horses or buy my own horse that I might be stuck with a saddle that doesn't fit or that I can't use due to the owners preferring their own equipment over mine.
She agrees the saddle (It is a wintec jump pro older model (i bought it thinking it was the newer model and so I may end up selling it again once I get a full time job and upgrade) ) is a really good saddle, especially for the pricing that I got it for. She just didn't want me wasting my money, get accustomed to my saddle only to have to change everything for another horse.
Also I've only ridden with her a few times. The bruises were from previous stables I was at for school, and before that through high school. I do love this trainer, she fits my style of learning perfectly (she adjusts to re-explain something if I don't get it, understands my dyslexia, as well as my need for visual demonstrations to figure things out)
Telling a worrier to relax is counterproductive. Then we worry about relaxing.
I do think that you can compensate for a saddle that doesn't fit you, BUT you have to have a good solid position first. Which is helped tremendously by riding in saddles that are a decent fit. You have to get a feel for what the right position is. Once you've got that, then you can figure out how to ride well in ill-fitting-for-you saddles.
This is coming from someone who is incredibly hard to fit for saddles. I am not a fan of deep seats or big knee rolls because I'm so used to them just getting in my way! So in that way I agree with your trainer (and appreciate that she's trying to help you save money). My first saddle was a no-frills Crosby and those are still the ones I gravitate towards just because the balance in those is so good.