A RESCUERS ANSWERING MACHINE:

Hello: You have reached 717-965-7901, Jo Deibel at Angel Acres Horse Haven Rescue. Due to the high volume of calls we have been receiving, please listen closely to the following options and choose the one that best describes you or your situation:

Press 1 if you have a 22 year old horse that you can no longer afford and you need to find the horse a new home
right away.

Press 2 if you are moving today and need to immediately place your five horses due to your home foreclosure.

Press 3 if you have three horses, had a baby and want to get rid of your horses because you are the only person in the world to have a baby and horses at the same time.

Press 4 if you just got a brand new so cute colt and your old horse is having problems adjusting so you want to get rid of the old one right away.

Press 5 if your little colt has grown up and is no longer small and cute and you want to trade it in for a new model, one that doesn't strike and rear.

Press 6 if you want an unpaid volunteer to come to your home TODAY and pick up the horse you no longer want.

Press 7 if you have been feeding and caring for a "stray" or abandoned horse for the last three years, are moving and suddenly determine it's not your horse.

Press 8 if your horse is sick and needs a vet but you need the money for your vacation.

Press 9 if you are elderly and want to adopt a cute pony who is not active and is going to outlive you.

Press 10 if your relative has died and you don't want to care for their elderly horse because it doesn't fit your lifestyle.

Press 11 if you are calling at 6 a.m. to make sure you wake me up before I have to go to work so you can drop a horse off on your way to work.

Press 12 to leave us an anonymous garbled message, letting us know you have left a horse in our pasture in the middle of January, which is in fact, better than just leaving the horse with no message.

Press 13 if you are going to get angry because we are not going to take your horse that you have had for fifteen years, because it is not our responsibility.

Press 14 if you are going to threaten to take your ten year old horse to be auction, wolf center or euthanized because I won't take it.

Press 15 if you're going to get angry because we won't take in the 22 yr old show horse your daughter used to ride and now she has lost interest and you no longer want to pay for because she is off to college and you cannot sell him for any money whatsoever.

Press 16 if you want one of our PERFECTLY trained, bombproof, kid friendly horses that we have an abundance of.

Press 17 if you want us to take your horse that has a slight
aggression problem, i.e. has only bitten a few people and kicked the hell out of the barn's horses.

Press 18 if you have already called once asking us to take your 30 yr old horse with ringbone to "donate" to us, and been told no, to keep it yourself till it dies, but thought you would get a different person this time with a different answer.

Press 19 if you want us to use space that would go to an emaciated horse from animal control to board your personal horse while you are on vacation, free of charge,
of course.

Press 20 if it is Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve or Easter morning and you want to come to the ranch to "see what we got".

Press 21 if you have bought your children a shetland pony colt for Easter and it is now Christmas, injured two of your three children and is no longer cute.

Press 22 if you want us to take your stallion who has already had twenty babies, but you can't geld him because it is against your religion.

Press 23 if you're lying about where the starved and emaciated horse came from that just showed up in your yard a week ago tied to the fence. I guess you don't think we check with animal control officials?

Press 24 if your horse you got from the Fallon feedlot or auction is biting, kicking and charging you but you are not willing to accept the responsibility and get it trained not to do so.

Press 25 if your three year old stallion has broken down fences five times this year and impregnated all your mares, but you just haven't gotten around to having him gelded.

Press 26 if you think we have nice green lush pastures and gorgeous barns to be able to care for your donated horse for retirement for life and you do not want to pay for any of that.

Press 27 if you have done "everything" to try and train your horse and have had no success but you don't want to be the leader and enforce basic stay out of my space rules because it
is cruel to the horse.

Press 28 if you rescued a horse from auction, feedlot or a private home and you cannot afford to take care of it, feed it, get vet care for it, rehabilitate it and find it a home yourself.

Press 29 if you need a horse immediately and cannot wait because today is your 7 yr old daughter's birthday and you forgot when she was born.

Press 30 if your horses coat doesn't match your new barn and you need a different color or breed.

Press 31 if your new love doesn't like your horse and you are too spineless to get rid of the new love (who will dump you in the next month anyway) instead of the horse.

Press 32 if you went through all these 'options' and didn't hear
enough. This press will connect you to the sounds of tears being shed by me who is holding a discarded old horse I nursed back to health for a year while the vet mercifully frees him from the grief of missing his family.

~Author Unknown, but much appreciated