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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct. 16, 2012
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    Across the Atlantic
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    Quote Originally Posted by Renn/aissance View Post
    To put it into perspective- the (now former) owner of a farm where I used to board pulled a gun on a boarder who was 1 day late on her payment (because she'd been in the hospital) and if that wasn't bad enough he did it in broad daylight in front of pony camp.

    So unless he's doing that, follow jsalem's as-always good advice, and keep looking... best of luck with the farm search!
    Wow! I've had a few useless BOs in my time and read about even more on the interweb, but that takes the biscuit!

    To the OP, good luck moving. There's no more stuck-in-their-ways and opinionated group of people as horse people and if you have a barn owner who you're butting heads with or is just a jerk, the best thing to do is find a different barn. They're not going to change.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 1999
    Location
    Shangri-LA
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    2,058

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    What about a little reverse psychology? When the BO says something about your horse like your gelding is always misbehaving, reply back in a laughing sort of way, "geldings can be so silly sometimes". I've tried that on a few people that always have something negative to say, it throws them off since they expect you to disagree with them and may be looking for an arguement. Don't argue back, that's what they want, if nothing else make an off the wall comment like the weather has sure been nice or something totally unrelated but positive.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
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    Nov. 7, 2011
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    87

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    Quote Originally Posted by Prime Time Rider View Post
    " I was actually told that those who don't wear helmets should be shamed into wearing one when I take the stance that they are adults, they know the risks, none of my business."

    It's the BO's right to require all riders to wear helmets when mounted. I don't understand why the BO feels that those who don't wear helmets should be "shamed into it". Simply establish a policy that all riders are required to wear helmets when mounted. Period. No need for drama.
    The barn does have a helmets required policy, this person does this out on the trail (at people this person doesn't even know) and places that they have no control over and where wearing a helmet is none of their business.
    She who cares the least wins.....



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2012
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    1,984

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    Hmm. I've looked through this thread again and can't find any actual examples of the BO turning the barn into Hell as claimed in the thread title except for this comment:

    Me and another boarder took our horse for a trail ride off the farm on Saturday. As we where loading our stuff BO was make snide comments about my horse
    What did he say? As a BO, I might say something like - your horse was a jerk /nut/turkey? today and destroyed his stall or smashed the fence - I'd say the same about my own horse. Is that snide?

    It is not possible to know from what was posted here if the BO is truly whacked or the boarder is overly sensitive. BTW I'm wondering too from all the errors in your posts if English is your second language. That could be a factor with communication issues/humor.

    I've put up with some personality issues if it is the best care I can find for my horses or if there is no other reasonable option in my area . No place is perfect and some of us are in areas where there are few choices.

    Still, it's a good idea to leave if you can't get along with the BO.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
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    between the barn and the pond
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    14,495

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    I need to hear what the snide remark was. The snide may be in the ear of the listener, not in the intent of the speaker. I'll call a horse a silly name in a heartbeat and mean nothing by it, and I can see how that could be 'snide'.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Mar. 13, 2009
    Posts
    1,182

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    Quote Originally Posted by fanfayre View Post
    I keep wanting to ask him, "Dude, if you were such a HUUUGE STAR back in jolly ole' England, why didn't you stay there instead of moving to a "backwater" like Victoria, since that's obviously what you think this area is?"

    PS, checked your webpage, lovely stuff you've got there!
    Thank you! Yep, every time I see him I just sort of laugh and roll my eyes. I think he's harmless and just sort of says things without thinking, but of course I don't have to see him every day!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Oct. 3, 2002
    Location
    Boogerville, USA
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    858

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    Quote Originally Posted by Crockpot View Post
    ... BTW I'm wondering too from all the errors in your posts if English is your second language. That could be a factor with communication issues/humor. ....
    Probably just auto-correct.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Sep. 9, 2003
    Location
    Yellow Point, BC, Canada
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    1,044

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    E, I think the biggest thing is he has small-man syndrome, AND he's insecure enough that he has to be the king of his domain. You, with your experience and knowledge that vastly outweighs his, are a threat to his dominance of his barn. Put-downs and general unpleasantness are these types of peoples' way of regaining "control" of the situation, nevermind it usually backfires on them and makes them look sillier to more people than in the first place.
    Last edited by fanfayre; Feb. 27, 2013 at 02:51 PM. Reason: sorry, did not want to seem like I was making fun of a learning disablility
    Another owner of A Fine Romance baby who has grown up and joined the fun!!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2003
    Location
    Canada where all hell has broke free
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    2,611

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    Originally Posted by Crockpot
    ... BTW I'm wondering too from all the errors in your posts if English is your second language. That could be a factor with communication issues/humor. ....
    Quote Originally Posted by nasalberry View Post
    Probably just auto-correct.
    Since you must know I am dyslexic and some times putting my thoughts in to words is not easy. But you seem to have gotten the idea well enough.
    My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

    Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2003
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    Canada where all hell has broke free
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    Quote Originally Posted by fanfayre View Post
    ^ well, OP is ​ originally from Alberta... (jk)

    E, I think the biggest thing is he has small-man syndrome, AND he's insecure enough that he has to be the king of his domain. You, with your experience and knowledge that vastly outweighs his, are a threat to his dominance of his barn. Put-downs and general unpleasantness are these types of peoples' way of regaining "control" of the situation, nevermind it usually backfires on them and makes them look sillier to more people than in the first place.
    You are so right Fay, I know what leads it all, but it is so not fun to deal with. He does look after the horses fairly well. I only moved there for the winter to have the indoor and ride with Chris Irwin when he comes to the island. My summer board place fall through as they are listing it for sale so I am looking again for a new place.
    My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

    Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2008
    Location
    Missouri
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    2,202

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    All he has done is say things about your horse? Why do you care what he ( or anyone else for that matter)thinks about your horse? You really need a thicker skin. If the horse is getting good care and it is the place that best fits his/ your needs I would learn to ignore his comments. If he knows it bothers you he will continue to do it.



  12. #32
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    Nov. 13, 2005
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    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
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    2,936

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    Quote Originally Posted by candyappy View Post
    All he has done is say things about your horse? Why do you care what he ( or anyone else for that matter)thinks about your horse? You really need a thicker skin. If the horse is getting good care and it is the place that best fits his/ your needs I would learn to ignore his comments. If he knows it bothers you he will continue to do it.
    A barn owner saying something snide to a boarder whatever its about is NOT PROFESSIONAL. No boarder should have to put up with that if they don't want to. Not everyone feels comfortable saying something in those types of situations because what if the B.O stopped caring for your horse because of something you said?! Eleanor has said she's tried, even though she shouldn't have to because in this case the B.O. should know better.

    As for advice Eleanor, I agree with JSalem. In this situation you have to be the professional one because clearly that is beyond your B.O. I hope you find a good summer location and better winter one before next winter!
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
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    Mar. 24, 2012
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    Since you must know I am dyslexic and some times putting my thoughts in to words is not easy. But you seem to have gotten the idea well enough.
    Why do you say I "must " know that?

    Of course I did not know that.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Jun. 12, 2006
    Location
    Ontario
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    673

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    Crockpot, I think she just meant "IF you must know...", as in, she wasn't intending on having to get into her personal background, but felt the need to explain herself due to some of the conjecture previously.

    Sounds like a sucky situation. It's no fun to be at a barn where you feel you have to avoid people (especially the BO!) - so even though the care might be good, I agree that you should try and find somewhere new to move. Good luck finding a place!


    4 members found this post helpful.

  15. #35

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    I feel for your situation. I also need to leave the barn I'm at, but I'm having a hard time finding something without compromising on certain things.

    However, it was very easy for me to determine who you're talking about and who you are. Because the BO in question is often searching around the internet, and this is a very small, incestuous horse community, you may want to consider how much information you expose on here.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2003
    Location
    Canada where all hell has broke free
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    Quote Originally Posted by islandhorsegirl View Post
    I feel for your situation. I also need to leave the barn I'm at, but I'm having a hard time finding something without compromising on certain things.

    However, it was very easy for me to determine who you're talking about and who you are. Because the BO in question is often searching around the internet, and this is a very small, incestuous horse community, you may want to consider how much information you expose on here.
    O' I am sure it is easy to know whom I am talking about if you know this person. But like I said it is not about the horse care. It is about the BO and how he treats people. He knows what he is doing and I am sure it will not come as any surprise when I give my notice with my board payment.
    My life motto now is "You can't fix stupid!"

    Are you going to cowboy up, or lie there and bleed



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2012
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    1,984

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    No matter how awful the personality of your BO, if the care is reasonable-speaking from experience I would never go on a website like this with my
    grievances especially since you admit the Bo might read this-

    I don't understand the point of these threads. How does it help the horse?

    Put the welfare of your horse first. You can vent to your heart's delight AFTER you have moved.Put your energies there.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2012
    Location
    Kansas
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    It sounds like the BO has problems with boundaries and is unclear as to what does or does not constitute professional behavior. The BO is the owner-operator of a business. Would this behavior be acceptable coming from the manager of a hotel or other long-term service-related business?

    The OP was not venting, per se. The OP was wisely asking for guidance about the best way to navigate a nuanced, emotionally-charged situation.

    Best Regards,
    Amber


    2 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
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    9,306

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    Eleanor-I'm glad you're exploring (or hopefully, found) another barn. I've dealt with people like the BO, and I know how it feels to get nasty comments all of the time, especially when the person thinks that you have to take it. People like that will never figure out why everyone is irritated at them, and no matter how many times someone tells them they are irritating people, and how unprofessional that is, they go blissfully along still doing this.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
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    2,171

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    Quote Originally Posted by candyappy View Post
    All he has done is say things about your horse? Why do you care what he ( or anyone else for that matter)thinks about your horse? You really need a thicker skin. If the horse is getting good care and it is the place that best fits his/ your needs I would learn to ignore his comments. If he knows it bothers you he will continue to do it.
    Did you miss the posts from others that know this guy? Sounds like he is a first class jerk. My horse time is golden to me, I shouldn't have to put up with someone's dramatic claptrap.
    "All top hat and no canter". *Graureiter*



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