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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    15,266

    Default Do you know how to go to jail?

    No, I don't mean how to get there, I mean how to live there.

    Sometimes I think I'd get a book written if I were in jail. Give me the written notes, an internet connection (and probably a very expensive subscription to JSTOR) and I'd be good.
    Also, I'd work out while in jail.

    It all sounds great if you are committed to self improvement while someone else cooks, does the laundry. But jail isn't supposed to be fun or easy.

    So how do those with purpose and style make the most of living in jail? Share your tips here.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul. 21, 2011
    Location
    Co
    Posts
    4,375

    Default

    Are you courting convicts? Not wise IMO.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun. 16, 2001
    Location
    Los Angeles, California
    Posts
    3,412

    Default

    I have heard tattoos are popular there.
    The Denver Broncos went to visit an orphanage. "It's so sad looking into their faces so devoid of hope." Sara aged 6



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2001
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    1,833

    Default

    Ask Martha Stewart, seems to have given her career a boost!
    OLD FRIENDS FARM-Equine Retirement-We LOVE Seniors!! Spoiling Retirees since 1998
    http://www.angelfire.com/oldfriendsfarm/home.html
    Charter Member of UYA!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    11,841

    Default

    My lord I> pray I never need to find out!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 8, 2005
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    2,236

    Default

    There has to be an explanation for this startling inquiry. We're all waiting.
    If I knew what I were doing, why would I take lessons?

    "Things should be as simple as possible,
    but no simpler." - Einstein


    4 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2012
    Location
    Fern Creek, KY
    Posts
    3,010

    Default

    Guys. I think mvp has officially lost it.

    Although you do make a good point...
    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    I prefer them outside playing as opposed to standing in the barn aisle playing "I can crap more than you"
    New Year, New Blog... follow Willow and I here.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    7,865

    Default

    mvp, I was totally kidding when I said to knock over the liquor store last week.

    Can we write to you?
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 2001
    Location
    Catharpin, Virginia
    Posts
    6,688



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Posts
    1,830

    Default

    I've got a friend who did time. Survival techniques included walking endless circles around the yard so she didn't wig out and strangle one of the bimbos from the 'hood. It didn't sound like fun. Lack of timely medical care was also a downer.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
    Posts
    4,343

    Default

    It's a myth that inmates live a life of leisure, at least in my state. My friends brother is in prison and does not have a phone, laptop or internet access. Nor does he have money for magazine subscriptions. He does do some work in the jail and gets a very nominal amount of money for it (ie, far less than minimum wage).

    You might be able to hand write your book.

    It may well be nicer than a life on the streets or as an alternative to poverty or some minimum wage jobs, but most prisons, for your average middle class person, are going to suck. Alot. The highlight of his life is getting enough money so his family can sit and eat with him at a monthly prison fish fry.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    40,859

    Default

    I know our county jail has work details.
    The inmates do much of the cleaning inside and out and are busy with that.
    You can refuse, but after a few days sitting in a jail, even scrubbing floors with a toothbrush starts to look interesting, for what I hear.

    I don't know if they let you have paper and pencils, mostly they don't let you have anything personal that they don't take away again.
    Not even counting the kind of company you are with in there, not exactly choir boy type.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    15,266

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Adamantane View Post
    There has to be an explanation for this startling inquiry. We're all waiting.
    Now, now you can take off your judgey pants now. One court system is enough for me. KIDDING! Jeez.

    Now onto more helpful hints:

    A HO friend of mine worked in the female side of a county jail in Central NY. She said one could make eye-liner from crayons. I didn't know that. The ladies knew how to do it up, even in jail.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,065

    Default

    I've been in many jails, prisons, and prison camps. They are all too noisy. Although the federal prison camps, like the one in PA where many of the watergate guys went, seemed the best. The golf course there, yes, the golf course there, had signs telling us to keep out! Like we'd break into prison to play golf?

    In my wild and misspent youth, i decided I would not want to go to prison because I'd have to give up my dogs and cats and horses and bantams. So I stayed out of trouble. I did not want rats as pets. And The Green Mile movie reinforced my determination to be not an inmate, but the person who visited "my" criminals incarcerated.

    GA had the big boxing program for inmates and lots of bodybuilding equipment. Many of those programs were discontinued decades ago because people didn't wan fit prisoners coming back into our population. I'd not want to spend eternity in the prison law library preparing writs of habeas corpus. Boring!



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
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    15,266

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cloudyandcallie View Post
    They are all too noisy.
    ...

    GA had the big boxing program for inmates and lots of bodybuilding equipment. Many of those programs were discontinued decades ago because people didn't wan fit prisoners coming back into our population. I'd not want to spend eternity in the prison law library preparing writs of habeas corpus. Boring!
    Ah, yes, the 24/7 noise. I think what would drive me 'round the bend.

    See, I was all jacked up about the work out opportunities in jail (plus the boredom that drives you to those). I used to be able to do pull-ups while being a girl. I'd like to relive my glory days.

    Oh, and I wanna go to law school... just for the entertainment value... and for free. Can I do this on-line while in jail? Prisoners *are* given what they need to participate in their own legal defense, right? So they get a library complete with a Lexus/Nexus or Westlaw subscription, right?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,065

    Default

    You do get computer access in GA prisons. Just certain hours of the day. So I guess you could go online and get a law degree. I'm not sure about that. You do get to spend many hours in the law library. Judges have ruled that prisoners have the right to do that.

    I don't know any women lawyers in prison, but I do know Fred Tokars who is in federal prison and was a lawyer before he had his wife murdered. (I worked in the same office with Fred Tokars and Nancy Grace, oh the shame!) Fred makes money by preparing habeas corpus petitions for his fellow prisoners. (And I did turn down Fred when he was single and dating everyone in the courthouse. Whew!)
    And you want to be made a "trustee" if you do go to prison, so you have the run of the grounds and buildings.

    I don't know which states have the work out facilities for women or men now. But if I had to bet, I'd guess that Alden (I think that is how it is spelled) the federal women's prison in WVA is the place to be......if you must go to prison. It was the only federal prison for women when I was a callow youth.......and decided I'd not go into the importing business with my friends who got rich, but got caught.

    In addition to noise, you do have to worry about fellow prisoners. Like at the big state prison, one of my defendants got lighter fluid thrown on him, and was lit up, and he died. And in our Fulton county jail, one of my defendants was whizzing on people who walked by, and he got scalded to death by the water hose. Who knew that the water to clean cells was so hot? Both crimes were unsolved.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr. 14, 2001
    Location
    Fort Collins, CO
    Posts
    16,531

    Default

    Might be nicer to get committed to a private (not state run) psychiatric hospital I'd think you'd be more likely to have quiet, personal time to work on your manuscript (hell, maybe you'd get a shrink who you could convince it's part of your "therapy"!) and less likely to get 'shanked than in prision...


    5 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec. 13, 2005
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,383

    Default

    Pooping in public. That's one of the perks of jail. You get to use your loo while sitting there in front of your roommates.
    I wouldn't last a day in there. Gaaaah!



  19. #19
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    Dec. 5, 2004
    Location
    Lexington, KY
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    1,236



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
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    15,266

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia73 View Post
    You might be able to hand write your book.

    It may well be nicer than a life on the streets or as an alternative to poverty or some minimum wage jobs, but most prisons, for your average middle class person, are going to suck. Alot. The highlight of his life is getting enough money so his family can sit and eat with him at a monthly prison fish fry.
    Now this gives me a lot to think about: Would I trade whatever I have in the way of my middle-class (but rather hand-to-mouth life) for "three hots and a cot... and the space to write a book?"

    Have I become a sensible enough person to be able to accept and survive the culture of prison life?

    I'm sorta wall-paper to my family, so the group who would convene for the prison fish fry sounds not too bad.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



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