The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 2 of 5 FirstFirst 1234 ... LastLast
Results 21 to 40 of 100
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Apr. 9, 2012
    Location
    NYC=center of the universe
    Posts
    1,987

    Default

    Romance? What's that?
    Born under a rock and owned by beasts!



  2. #22
    Join Date
    May. 5, 2008
    Location
    Scranton, PA
    Posts
    740

    Default

    I think everyone has their own definition of romance and how they would like their SO to show their love.
    Count me in for another person who read The Five Languages of Love and loved it. My love language is quality time, my husbands is physical touch and words of affirmation.
    We get a lot of joy out of doing things that others wouldn't find "romantic."
    Some of our favorite times have been building a shed that we turned into a two stall barn of sorts. Target practice at our range. And taking our dogs for walks.

    We're not into expensive dinners or flowers and chocolates and cards. The gifts he has bought me and I him have been totally "us."
    He bought me a new hunting rifle for a wedding present and a goat for "valentines day" and I bought him a camo couch and recliner. Silly I know but that's just us.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2002
    Location
    Azle, Teh-has
    Posts
    7,820

    Default

    I'm super mushy. Which is funny because I'm so hard within normal life (non relationship) circumstances.

    For instance, some things I have done on dates that have caused my [guy] to do a double take.
    I like him to open my door--once that is done he'll get a kiss. Then I sit down and reach across and grab the handle to the driver's door, open it and push it open just at the right time so that the door is open for him when he gets to it.
    They way guys react to that makes me think that it sure isn't something that girls do often.
    When we go out to eat I like to sit on the same side...and not across.

    I like to leave little tiny wallet sized love notes. Boy that one scares them away...FAST! So I haven't had a bf long enough to get to that point in a while.
    orrrr...I like to invest in dime size fake bugs and put them in his shoes when I go over to his place.
    that's how my man knows I love him. He puts his foot in his shoe and finds a plastic spider. snork snicker.

    I'm big on sneaking up behind [him] for a walk-by smooch on the back of the neck. I'm super hands on..another thing that takes people by surprise...because my normal bizz personality just isn't--uhh--warm and fuzzy.

    I think what has happened is that we just don't have time for those "little romantic gestures" anymore. : ( Sad but True.

    Shoot--I can't even get a date these days.
    http://kaboomeventing.com/
    http://kaboomeventing.blogspot.com/
    Horses are amazing athletes and make no mistake -- they are the stars of the show!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2010
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    4,343

    Default

    I agree. Have found dating lately to be more of a "I'd like to go here, and do this. And I'd like you to fit very nicely into that chair right next to me while I do my usual routine." I am older, but...

    My son, who is 24 and just graduated last year - just broke up with his college senior girlfriend. She's 22 and was upset that he wasn't yet "committed for life". Very sad that she feels that way - she's a lovely girl. And she's going to grad school, and doesn't want to get married right away. But gakkkkk - neither of them is anywhere near mature enough to make that commitment. My son has expressed that to me very well. Am proud of him that he knows not to fold just because she's demanded it of him, even though he'll really miss her.

    Oh, and girlfriends' friend just nailed her fiance by breaking up with him unless they got engaged. So the romance? Nope, seems like a lot of manipulation going on...
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
    Location
    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
    Posts
    11,880

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by CVPeg View Post
    I agree. Have found dating lately to be more of a "I'd like to go here, and do this. And I'd like you to fit very nicely into that chair right next to me while I do my usual routine." I am older, but...

    My son, who is 24 and just graduated last year - just broke up with his college senior girlfriend. She's 22 and was upset that he wasn't yet "committed for life". Very sad that she feels that way - she's a lovely girl. And she's going to grad school, and doesn't want to get married right away. But gakkkkk -
    Ah yes, that's along the lines of what I'm talking about.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2010
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    4,343

    Default

    Oops - sorry, Lex - I edited...

    But still saying the same. No spontaneity. Just looking for others to fit where you're supposed to go. Rather than see where your own relationship takes you.
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
    Posts
    4,343

    Default

    It's also become a hook up culture. My SO has a single friend and basically 20 something women throw themselves at him, sexually. He wants a woman closer to his age (mid 30's). He is getting laughed at because he has been on 4 dates with a girl and no sex yet. He gets laughed at for walking away from girls that want to have sex.

    His ex.... was with him for 5 years and wanted a ring, and he was not quite reasy, she dumped him and moved on. To her, he was exactly "I'd like to go here, and do this. And I'd like you to fit very nicely into that chair right next to me while I do my usual routine." He supported her through law school.

    I feel bad for him- he is a good guy, wants to do the right thing....



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
    Location
    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
    Posts
    11,880

    Default

    Yeah, the hook-up thing has always bothered me and it's a big part of social life in the DC area because of the careerists and free-spirited folks who just want to have fun. That's one of the reasons why the STD infection rate in and just outside DC is outrageously high and I don't date women who live in DC because of that.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    1,764

    Default

    Well, then there's the other side of the coin---when you get "older" like me, and dates are months (or, ahem, years) apart. One of my friends called me yesterday to see how my date went. I told her it went into the wee hours of the morning. She asked if I slept with him, and I told her no--her response "Why the Hell not? Who knows when you'll get another opportunity?"

    She has a point
    From now on, ponyfixer, i'll include foot note references.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    May. 31, 2010
    Location
    Tampa Bay Area
    Posts
    261

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pony Fixer View Post
    Well, then there's the other side of the coin---when you get "older" like me, and dates are months (or, ahem, years) apart. One of my friends called me yesterday to see how my date went. I told her it went into the wee hours of the morning. She asked if I slept with him, and I told her no--her response "Why the Hell not? Who knows when you'll get another opportunity?"

    She has a point
    That's true, I'm in the same boat. I'm not really into the casual hook-up thing, but if you do meet a fun guy and are attracted, it's sometimes worth it. Because I am 39 and it can be a loooong time between dates and even longer between good ones. I don't think that's a terrible thing.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    1,764

    Default

    Hell, at my age there is no judgement about sex. I have a long, storied history--some of that is not-so-proud moments, some are I-can't-beleive-I-did-that (in the good AND the bad sense), etc. Sex in general is so dirty and taboo in the US. It is very different in Europe, particularly Germany and the Netherlands (personal experience with family/friends). I realize we were colonized by Puritans, but our culture is still so sex-negative.

    I don't say this to mean that I think every young 20-something should just sleep with anyone/everyone at any given opportunity. But there is still such a huge amount of slut-shaming in our culture, and I don't think it's healthy. No one should decide whether or not to sleep with someone based on what "someone else" would think. It is a personal decision that should be respected, even if it isn't what we would do.
    From now on, ponyfixer, i'll include foot note references.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2003
    Location
    Middleburg, VA
    Posts
    13,344

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pony Fixer View Post
    Hell, at my age there is no judgement about sex. I have a long, storied history--some of that is not-so-proud moments, some are I-can't-beleive-I-did-that (in the good AND the bad sense), etc. Sex in general is so dirty and taboo in the US. It is very different in Europe, particularly Germany and the Netherlands (personal experience with family/friends). I realize we were colonized by Puritans, but our culture is still so sex-negative.

    I don't say this to mean that I think every young 20-something should just sleep with anyone/everyone at any given opportunity. But there is still such a huge amount of slut-shaming in our culture, and I don't think it's healthy. No one should decide whether or not to sleep with someone based on what "someone else" would think. It is a personal decision that should be respected, even if it isn't what we would do.
    Amen!

    I am not shy. I have found that if it feels right, then do it. I've yet to regret my decisions. I'm hardly sleeping around, but I have certainly slept with guys on first dates and have had "friends with benefits". Obviously, playing safe is huge, but otherwise, chemistry is chemistry, and if everyone is game, then why the hell not?!

    I think what I am figuring out in this thread is that because I am not someone who feels like marriage and/or partnership is a milestone that must be met, I may have a completely different view on relationships than what the OP is experiencing. He certainly seems to date far more than I choose to, so is "out there" seeing how people work. Which may also show why my idea of "romance" vs just being caring and considerate and loving are off a bit.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
    Join Date
    Feb. 4, 2004
    Posts
    2,677

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LexInVA View Post
    That's one of the reasons why the STD infection rate in and just outside DC is outrageously high and I don't date women who live in DC because of that.
    That must be the least romantic "so where are you from" conversation ever :-)


    5 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    1,764

    Default

    Now I'm wishing I'd had that romp in the sack Friday night. He was certainly game!
    From now on, ponyfixer, i'll include foot note references.



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 2006
    Posts
    615

    Default

    I agree with other posters who say it's all about perspective. I dated a guy last summer who I thought was incredibly romantic but he didn't think he was romantic at all. He even warned me after we'd been dating that his ex-SO had continually complained how un-romantic he was. I think she'd gotten too used to him (they'd been dating since high school) and didn't realize what the 'average' guy is like.

    Besides the laughter/companionship that went along with the relationship, he'd:
    - always sit next to me, never across from me when we went out. Then we'd make fun of us for being "that" couple.
    - got the car door for me always
    - held the door open for me when we went somewhere. And i don't mean the half-assed "go through door first, then awkwardly hold door open behind with arm". He'd make sure he got to the door first, and then hold it open and follow me inside. I know some people would consider that common courtesy but it's definitely not common anymore...
    - Wasn't afraid to show his affection - public or otherwise. I'm not talking huge makeout sessions on the street (well...maybe once when we couldn't keep our hands off each other!), but he'd hold my hand, have his arm around my waist, etc.
    - would whisper in my ear that i was the most beautiful woman in the room.

    So, I think that constitutes romantic...even though there was never of the "chocolates and flowers" romance to it. We were in a lounge waiting for our table and there was a couple sitting next to us. We couldn't help overhear it was their 6th date (same as us)...but in the 20 minutes we were sitting there, neither person smiled at the other, no laughter, just basic conversation - "you want a drink?" - and then back to their iphones. This couple was probably a only a few years younger than we were...I remember thinking, "that's exactly what I don't want."

    So it's all perspective. My friend never thought my boyfriend was romantic, especially when he came to get me at the airport after I'd been gone for a month and he didn't have flowers. But I saw the way his eyes lit up when he saw me and heard what he whispered in my ear when he hugged me...that was more romantic to me than any bouquet of flowers could have been.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2003
    Location
    Middleburg, VA
    Posts
    13,344

    Default

    ^ Man...other than the sitting next to each other thing (I don't like that. I rather sit across. I find it much easier to talk that way), that all just sounds like being a nice, caring guy!!! Apparently, I don't interact with guys that aren't nice, because EVERY guy I've gone out with at all seriously has done most if not all of those things. I must have good taste.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 2006
    Posts
    615

    Default

    You must have lucked out! I've dated a "few" guys and none had even come close to that one! Or they did for the first few weeks/months...and then stopped.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    1,764

    Default

    Perspective is right, to get more on topic.

    Flowers are great--but they die.
    Candy makes me fat.
    I don't really care if the car door is opened for me, etc.

    But I do care about holding hands, meeting my eye across the room at a party, keeping my favorite *whatever* stocked at their house, etc. For me it's all about the small gestures that show me that they are thinking about me.
    From now on, ponyfixer, i'll include foot note references.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2002
    Location
    Azle, Teh-has
    Posts
    7,820

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pony Fixer View Post
    Perspective is right, to get more on topic.

    Flowers are great--but they die.
    Candy makes me fat.
    I don't really care if the car door is opened for me, etc.

    But I do care about holding hands, meeting my eye across the room at a party, keeping my favorite *whatever* stocked at their house, etc. For me it's all about the small gestures that show me that they are thinking about me.
    right on.
    I agree 100%.

    I give guys flowers sometimes. It's about the gesture--not "flowers are girly" blah blah blah. I'll pick a dandelion or some pretty weed and give it...
    One time I gave a guy a pretty rock.
    If I throw a snow ball at you, you know you've got me wrapped around your little finger.

    If it's not totally obvious--I'm one of those who prefers to laugh--A LOT

    If I keep his preferred beer in stock--welp, be ready for wedding bells. lol.
    http://kaboomeventing.com/
    http://kaboomeventing.blogspot.com/
    Horses are amazing athletes and make no mistake -- they are the stars of the show!



  20. #40
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
    Location
    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
    Posts
    11,880

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by yellowbritches View Post
    ^ Man...other than the sitting next to each other thing (I don't like that. I rather sit across. I find it much easier to talk that way), that all just sounds like being a nice, caring guy!!! Apparently, I don't interact with guys that aren't nice, because EVERY guy I've gone out with at all seriously has done most if not all of those things. I must have good taste.
    Maybe it's just your twin hellfire cannons that keep them in line?
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!



Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 9
    Last Post: Nov. 26, 2012, 12:50 PM
  2. "True Horse Romance"
    By Mike Matson in forum Off Course
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Mar. 7, 2012, 01:23 AM
  3. "Get Off Of My Back" - Mini Romance!
    By Mike Matson in forum Off Course
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Sep. 28, 2011, 12:31 PM
  4. "Satchmo's Band", "Covergirl Cool" Know them?
    By Kelly in NJ in forum Racing
    Replies: 7
    Last Post: Feb. 22, 2010, 11:12 PM
  5. I am honored to post today's "Treat Song"
    By Ted the Peep 'Ho in forum Off Course
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Nov. 7, 2009, 09:01 AM

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
randomness