I give guys flowers sometimes. It's about the gesture--not "flowers are girly" blah blah blah. I'll pick a dandelion or some pretty weed and give it...
One time I gave a guy a pretty rock.
If I throw a snow ball at you, you know you've got me wrapped around your little finger.
If it's not totally obvious--I'm one of those who prefers to laugh--A LOT
If I keep his preferred beer in stock--welp, be ready for wedding bells. lol.
If you throw a pretty rock at me and then offer me a beer with a flower in it, is it a marriage proposal?
I know a couple who are 50 and they have found each other finally - what a pleasure it is to be around them - they are so in l.o.v.e. and every gesture ,look and smile is romantic. He is so considerate to her in every move and she is so responsive to show she values it. It is sooooo sweet to see a man who is unbelievably caring...he has his arm around her all thetime....That's romance, I think.
Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique
I think one of the MAJOR issues is that not only is romance dead to this new age dating game...
but for those of us who TRY to bring back romance all it does is scare the other half away.
If I left a weed and cute love note for my SO within the first few months of dating it would most likely make him think that I wanted to get married right away and he would exit as quickly as possible. oh my god she's a clingy one!
At least that is the way the younger crowd seems to shuffle. We can't be romantic even if we want too.
Goes hand in hand with annoying dating rituals. The whole --don't call the day after and don't be too available-- BS.
Hey, if I'm dating you I will most certainly throw some contact your way the next day (be it rock or txt or phone call) and I will most certainly make myself available to you. I hate those stupid games people play--they make me psycho and waste my time.
Dating faux pas. We are all doomed.
I don't think gift cards count as "romantic", Lex. Cute try though.
Now you understand what I'm talking about, Nurp. I just don't see that romance/affection/little stuff these days except as a rare thing and women don't seem to want it or expect it like they did several years ago. I've actually seen profiles where a woman will say they don't like it at all. Given that, I usually see a lot of couples together, going through the motions of simply being together as if they were two individuals without any real emotional connection and when they talk to one another, it's as if they are just two people who know one another and not a couple. Like in those movies where a couple has been together for so long that they just treat one another as if they were roomies or something with less emotional attachment and affection that one would associate with a relationship and love. As for gift cards, I didn't say they were romantic, I just said that people are giving them all the time these days, and I wanted to get someone else's perspective about them. They seem to have become the norm for holidays, birthdays, special occasions, etc from what I have seen and read a few years ago in the papers/magazines.
My Mister is one of those who believes that Love is a verb. He does many thoughtful things to show me that he cares. We both agree that he is not a Hallmark card and really is deficient in his verbal skills.
On a side note- I was completely blown away ( might be a bad choice of words here ) when on a first date I was asked by two men what I thought about oral sex . I'm not shocked by that particular act but the question was completely inappropriate . I think I surprised them both when I looked at them eye to eye and said giving or getting ? It's a strange world out there and I think being intimate and if that includes romance is different today. I like to think of it as being thoughtful and respecting. I can't be into anyone without those qualities.
purple said: "Hey, if I'm dating you I will most certainly throw some contact your way the next day (be it rock or txt or phone call) and I will most certainly make myself available to you. I hate those stupid games people play--they make me psycho and waste my time."
The best relationships I've had were ones where we just went with the flow and did what felt right. None of this "rules" stuff, about what to do and when. Just go with what your gut and heart tell you works for you and the other person.
I don't bother reading dating advice books. When I do, it just makes the whole process seem so tedious. My "rules" are pretty simple. If you like somebody you let them know in one way or another by flirting, asking them out, etc. If you have a good time, you call them back and go out again. If you go out a couple of times and the chemistry is good, you make it a regular thing. No farting around about "oh I can't call/email/whatever too soon or I'll look bad/needy/..."
For me, a gift card can be romantic if it's an IOU for something we'll do together down the line. Frex, this year a gift card for the Block Island Ferry at Christmas said "we're taking a fun trip together later in the year."
My younger niece's best friend just got engaged to a nice young man who she's been with for a couple of years now. In the course of their celebration of her birthday, they went to one of her favorite places (a cute local tea and pastry shop), and when they served the tea, it was in a custom pot that had "Keep Calm and Marry Me" on the side of it, along with a lovely ring. She accepted and was thrilled, as were the employees of the tea shop who had been in on the secret. They're in their late 20s, each have a child from a prior relationship, and have been through tough relationship times before they met -- but they have been through true up and downs in their time together, have weathered all storms successfully, and are devoted to one another and the kids. I may be cynical about romance for myself, but -- no, romance is still very cool in relationships.
I'm laughing and pointing at you!!!!
You used Honest and Communication in the same sentence.
Shoot, I dream of one. Both together might make my heart skip a beat.
Don't get me started on that one. Honesty, and communication were actually part of the reason/s I'm currently unemployed.
It seems the only way to get around these days is to lie and/or fake it.
disclaimer: I'm a Jersey girl. I guess I'm screwed.
I hear ya. Oh do I hear yee! Ever been on a date where the other person just talks about themselves and shows no interest at all in getting to know anything about you but wants to tell you tons of stuff that you probably shouldn't know and definitely won't care about? I sure have! Ever gone out on three great dates with someone only to find that they are in a sexual relationship with their roomie who is a deadbeat hipster loser that they have had deep feelings for for years and want to have a child with after they turn cold fish at the end of the third date? Been there, done that! She ended up having the guy's child and now pops up on dating sites every so often even though she's still in a relationship with the loser. Ever been on a date where someone brings up other people they are seeing on the dating website that they used to connect with you and then casually admits - as if it's no big thing - that they are having unprotected and dangerous sex with most of those people as if it was nothing big. Yeah, I got the shirt for that one! Ever had someone make serious overtures to you on a dating website only to find out through other means that they are not only in a relationship and have been for a long time but recently engaged to be married before you meet them? Crossed that one off my list twice and I saw one of them at the dog park a few weeks ago. Ever begin a relationship only to find out a few days later that the other person is actually involved with someone else and has quietly moved in with them and refers to them as their SO after declaring you as a partner? Got that done too! Ever had someone flirt tirelessly with you, end up going on a date where they tell you that they really like you and want to see where things go, and then have them complain to you two days later that someone else they really like and want to pursue is ignoring them and then they bluntly ask you to give them a ride to that person's night job as an entertainer and to wait around for a few hours at the bar so they can try to get with that person who obviously has no interest in them because they are interested in members of the same gender? Guess who has that on their resume?!