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  1. #161
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandorasboxx View Post

    One surefire way to get a baby to stop crying is for the parent to haul their butt out of bed, toss the infant in their car seat and drive around until it falls asleep. EACH and EVERY time it is unable to be soothed. Better the folks who chose to be parents to lose sleep than their hapless neighbors. 30 minutes of colicky crying is FAR too long to let a child cry when you have neighbors above and below you. I used this method with my colicky infant twins and spared my townhouse neighbor the torture I was experiencing, particularly as I was a single parent at the time. If I could do it, your neighbors could too.
    Oh really? Mine had reflux in addition to colic so he screamed nonstop from the moment he was strapped into his carseat until the moment he was lifted out, every time he was in the car until he was about 6 months old And most of the time after that. He was never one to fall asleep in the car. What worked for YOUR kids doesn't work for every baby. Plus, OP appears to live in New York. If she means NYC, then most people don't have cars.

    I would be mortified if this were my child -- in fact when I lived in town I apologized to both my neighbors in single family homes for all the crying, which they were very gracious about. One more stress factor to being a parent. But living in an apartment should come with both efforts to be quiet on the one side, and efforts to be tolerant on the other. Honestly, OP says she can hear low conversations the parents are having in the baby's room (that's how she says she knows they are not in there comforting it). She needs some serious soundproofing if she intends to stay because her walls are clearly not adequate to do the job.


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  2. #162
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    Well-said, Trubandloki.

    I do not have the right to play my home theater so loudly that it disturbs the window-hating idiots working one floor below me.

    I'm 99% sure that my side neighbors don't realize I can hear their kid crying when she's in her bedroom on the other side of their apartment, through their bathroom/across their hallway.

    However, I'm fairly sure one of them just said, "bless you" to my sneezing fit. And that's through the overstuffed bookshelves on the common wall.

    At least it's not like the apartments in "Office Space."
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  3. #163
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandorasboxx View Post
    It's the parents responsibility to parent and be cognizant/respectful of their neighbors. They are RUDE. Their choice to have a baby, not the neighbors. Alhough squallers could be a very good birth control method for the childless.

    One surefire way to get a baby to stop crying is for the parent to haul their butt out of bed, toss the infant in their car seat and drive around until it falls asleep. EACH and EVERY time it is unable to be soothed. Better the folks who chose to be parents to lose sleep than their hapless neighbors. 30 minutes of colicky crying is FAR too long to let a child cry when you have neighbors above and below you. I used this method with my colicky infant twins and spared my townhouse neighbor the torture I was experiencing, particularly as I was a single parent at the time. If I could do it, your neighbors could too.


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  4. #164
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    Quote Originally Posted by fordtraktor View Post
    Oh really? Mine had reflux in addition to colic so he screamed nonstop from the moment he was strapped into his carseat until the moment he was lifted out, every time he was in the car until he was about 6 months old And most of the time after that. He was never one to fall asleep in the car. What worked for YOUR kids doesn't work for every baby. Plus, OP appears to live in New York. If she means NYC, then most people don't have cars.

    I would be mortified if this were my child -- in fact when I lived in town I apologized to both my neighbors in single family homes for all the crying, which they were very gracious about. One more stress factor to being a parent. But living in an apartment should come with both efforts to be quiet on the one side, and efforts to be tolerant on the other. Honestly, OP says she can hear low conversations the parents are having in the baby's room (that's how she says she knows they are not in there comforting it). She needs some serious soundproofing if she intends to stay because her walls are clearly not adequate to do the job.
    well, seem like those of you with the fussy child were mortified about the inconvenience the noise put your environment in.
    Guess what: A heartfelt Sorry goes a long way to secure good will from your neighbors.

    In the OPs situation, I am not sure if I had not made my way upstairs by now at 5 AM to knock on the door and offering them a piece of advice and/or my mind...and neither would be pretty.
    The 'sorry' and attempts to remedy the situation do make for a more sympathetic onlooker. Were as a FU really does not help.


    Maybe the OP does need a white noise machine after all:
    with ear plugs in, she can set it on a timer. With lovely water noises, she might get the kid to stop crying, or the parents having to go to the bathroom...win/win situation right there!


    and fr the person who questioned whether or not 5 in the morning is too early to get up....
    Yes, Dear, it is.
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    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  5. #165
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    Dec. 14, 2007
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    I'm going to go out on a limb and suggest that if the OP can hear every one of the neighbors moves, then every other person who lives in that building must also suffer the same. I'm not sure if it's been suggested but would it be possible (and I never lived in a co-op so I don't know) to suggest to the board that the entire building be sound proofed better? Something you could all contribute to that would make living there better for everyone?

    I mean I get it. Crying babies are hard to tolerate. But you're there, they're there, so.....

    There's a surprising amount of folks on this board who really vehemently hate babies/kids. Wow.
    Audaces fortuna iuvat.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #166
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLD View Post
    There's a surprising amount of folks on this board who really vehemently hate babies/kids. Wow.
    It has nothing to do with hating them. It has everything to do with common courtesy and respect for your neighbors.

    I am sure if these parents went over and apologized to the OP things would be totally different. Just because you (general you) are a parent (dog owner, like loud cars, play a musical instrument, like loud music, like to scream really loud while having sex, etc) does not mean you are right in making the lives of those around you miserable.

    I like dogs (I have two of my own) but I am still annoyed by my neighbor's dog that barks at me every minute I am outside in my own yard.

    Not liking baby screaming at 5am does not equal hating kids it simply means that it is 5am and a baby is screaming which prevents you from sleeping at an hour that most people are still sleeping so it is annoying.


    I do like the idea of addressing the lack of sound proofing with condo board and see if they have any ideas/suggestions.


    15 members found this post helpful.

  7. #167
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    The sound machine is probably only going to work if you get one that runs all night so it isn't going to wake you up coming on, and run it pretty loud. We have this one for our kid and it is great: http://www.toysrus.com/product/index...ductId=2401840

    I like the ocean sounds and I'm the world's lightest sleeper, so I understand sleep troubles and emphathize but at some point OP needs to engage in self-help because she's unlikely to change the neighbors, whether they are being rude or not is pretty irrelevant when it comes to what to do to get more sleep.


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  8. #168
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by ynl063w View Post
    Why should a parent have to remove his child from HIS OWN HOME THAT HE PAYS TO LIVE IN and take it up to the ROOF FOR GOD'S SAKE??? .
    Why? To be a "responsible" and "considerate" person and neighbor and parent.


    14 members found this post helpful.

  9. #169
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    Jun. 24, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandorasboxx View Post
    It's the parents responsibility to parent and be cognizant/respectful of their neighbors. They are RUDE. Their choice to have a baby, not the neighbors. Alhough squallers could be a very good birth control method for the childless.

    One surefire way to get a baby to stop crying is for the parent to haul their butt out of bed, toss the infant in their car seat and drive around until it falls asleep. EACH and EVERY time it is unable to be soothed. Better the folks who chose to be parents to lose sleep than their hapless neighbors. 30 minutes of colicky crying is FAR too long to let a child cry when you have neighbors above and below you. I used this method with my colicky infant twins and spared my townhouse neighbor the torture I was experiencing, particularly as I was a single parent at the time. If I could do it, your neighbors could too.
    Oh really? I wish. DS1's world record for crying is 5 hours... all the way to NJ when I drove him alone to visit my family, as a Phillies game let out. Every kid is different so knock it off with what works for everyone, he still gets hysterical any drive over about 45 minutes. We tried it when he was very small... he has been an atrocious sleeper since he was born.

    However... I let him in my bed when he was very small and would absolutely not sleep in his bassinet. Or crib. Or anywhere. And he slept in the pack n play in our room for a year. I will still put him in my bed around the time OP mentions if he keeps getting up, or I will sleep on the floor in his room. No way would I do CIO in an apt, I would be mortified and embarrassed if he kept waking the neighbors.

    Thankfully DS2 is a champion sleeper or I would lose my freaking mind.

    The roof suggestion is ridiculous to me. Good luck calming him down or ever getting him to sleep if every time you take him out in the freezing cold and let him belt it out. If they do anything they need to soothe him, not shock him with frigid cold. Every night. He is 6 months old... not old enough to feel entitled but not an inanimate object either.


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  10. #170
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    Dec. 14, 2007
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    Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying the OP hates kids because she is not joyously revelling in a 5am screamfest. I wouldn't!

    My comment was simply meant as as observation that some folks on here really seem to dislike kids (not the OP). Just surprised me, that's all. I don't think everyone should adore my kids just because I do. I'm with MistyBlue..my kids rock, other's kids? not always. I am also that parent who doesn't let my kids run rampant in the barn or in a restaurant, etc. But the unfortunate thing about babies is they just can't be reasoned with. Believe me...I've tried.
    Audaces fortuna iuvat.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #171
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    Dec. 14, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by trubandloki View Post
    I like dogs (I have two of my own) but I am still annoyed by my neighbor's dog that barks at me every minute I am outside in my own yard.

    Not liking baby screaming at 5am does not equal hating kids it simply means that it is 5am and a baby is screaming which prevents you from sleeping at an hour that most people are still sleeping so it is annoying.
    I do agree with this.
    Audaces fortuna iuvat.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #172
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    Just to throw another wrench in here:
    The OP hasn't said in any post that the baby is "screaming" or "shrieking". She's only said crying. She did say the parents used to scream at the older child, but not that the baby screams. Just cries.

    So it does seem to be an issue of a pretty poorly insulated building. Not only is a crying baby (not screaming) waking someone up a floor away, but OP can easily hear the parents walking around and always knows what rooms they may be in. That's a whole lotta noise, and I know that wouldn't make me happy either. I'd be pretty pissed that I can hear everything in every adjoining unit.

    So it may very well not be a case of a horrible, rotten, rude set of parents to a horrible, rotten, rude, banshee-shrieking baby...but a case of a normal baby cry just being too easily heard in adjoining units. in which case the baby may not actually be at fault here (I know, but y'all can hate on spawn on many other threads too ). It may be just a tad unrealistic to expect every baby ever living in any poorly insulated complex to be silent. It may be time for the co-op board to fix the sound-carrying problems. That way childless people can sleep during the pre-dawn hours (as they should be able to) and those with children don't have to muzzle them in case they peep and bother anyone else.
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  13. #173
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    I'm quite sure even the parents of the screaming kid won't like their own brood very much while the howling is going on. It's quite a bit stretch to ask a complete stranger to like it.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  14. #174
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLD View Post

    There's a surprising amount of folks on this board who really vehemently hate babies/kids. Wow.
    That's incendiary. It hardly helps the parents' cause with respect to getting the non-childed to cut them some slack.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  15. #175
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    Quote Originally Posted by horseymum View Post
    Chief2 Ahhha! This documentary that you watched sounds very interesting.

    I get the pain of a screaming baby in an apartment next door. I have to say that we lived in an apartment when our daughter was born, she slept with us and never self soothed. She breastfed whenever she woke up (without waking me I might add so I was less sleep deprived) and then went right back to sleep......no crying. I have to say that she is a very well adjusted 7 year old, who asked for her own bed at 3 and has never come into our bed since then.
    I co-slept with my babies as well, while they were breastfeeding, and neither of them had any problem making the transition to their own beds at around the age of 14 months. Interestingly, for many years afterwards, they chose to sleep together in the same bed, probably because baby animals are programmed to cuddle up with other bodies for warmth and protection and it does rather go against our biology to insist on sleeping alone. Anyway, both of mine are intelligent and normal and were quite happy to leave mommy and go off to their respective universities, so clearly I didn't damage them.

    OP, invest in the sound proofing as it will be a good long term investment. Trust me when I say that babyhood might not be the noisiest time in the life of your neighbors' children, so you might as well be prepared.
    "Can you imagine what I would do if I could do all I can?" Sun Tzu, The Art of War
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  16. #176
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    Quote Originally Posted by JLD View Post
    There's a surprising amount of folks on this board who really vehemently hate babies/kids. Wow.
    Considering that the posts are 8-1 in favor of the OP just 'getting over it', I think the strong response from the minority isn't out of line, and right up there with the tone of the 'just get over' it crowd.

    And frankly, it isn't children or babies I dislike. They're fine. They do what they do. It's the parents who have no consideration for those around them because of the attitude that they are special somehow because they have children.

    I know many great parents, and the result is that they have great children. And therefore, I have no problem cutting some slack when their child has a bad day.

    As has been said over and over, a simple acknowledgement from the parents that this could be an issue for the OP would go a long, long way to calming the OP down.
    The truth is always in the middle.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  17. #177
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    Quote Originally Posted by pandorasboxx View Post
    It's the parents responsibility to parent and be cognizant/respectful of their neighbors. They are RUDE.
    Nobody hates other peoples' kids/babies more than I do. Nobody. That being said, the above is a crock of crap. Babies cry; some are dreadfully colicky and it's very, very rough on the parents and even I would have (and have had) mercy in such situations. As disrupting as it is for the neighbors, it's 100x more so for the parents.

    Quote Originally Posted by pandorasboxx View Post
    One surefire way to get a baby to stop crying is for the parent to haul their butt out of bed, toss the infant in their car seat and drive around until it falls asleep. EACH and EVERY time it is unable to be soothed.


    More CRAP. Yes, this works for a lot of babies, but absolutely, positively, definitely not for all. It worked for your kids? Big whoop. Good for you. And now you're all pontificating that these poor exhausted souls have to drive on the roads "EACH and EVERY time." Nonsense.


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  18. #178
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anne FS View Post
    As disrupting as it is for the neighbors, it's 100x more so for the parents.
    And where your (lack of) logic goes wrong is when you realize the parents chose this, the neighbors did not.

    It being more painful/uncomfortable/ugly/difficult for the person who chose to do it than those who should not be bothered does not make it OK.

    It is so funny because there is a large contingency here that is all 'how dare my neighbors <insert every day thing like weed whacking> while I am trying to ride Dobbin'. Some how it is wrong for your neighbors do their own thing on their own property at a normal time of day because it might bother your horse, but when someone has a problem with a neighbor at 5am, they are wrong because it is a, gasp, baby.


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  19. #179
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    There is a poignant episode in M*A*S*H where a bunch of folks are on a bus trying to be quiet so that the Koreans don't find them and kill them all. Hawkeye is there and has PTSD because some woman has a squawking chicken... who suddenly is quieted. By the end of his therapy session, he realizes that it was a baby whose mother smothered him for the good of all.

    Holy crap, that puts things in perspective, doesn't it?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  20. #180
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    Debating the ethics of the situation may be interesting but it doesn't offer a practical solution to the problem which I think is what the OP wants. Apartment living means you have to deal with neighbors and their issues on a more intimate level. It helps if the parents are gracious enough to appologize, but it doesn't solve the problem.

    In most situations in life, there are basically 2 solutions; "take it" or "leave it". "Change it" is much more difficult to accomplish. OP knew when she moved in there were kids in the apartment and accepted it. Kids are noisy. That is not a license to be obnoxious, but it is truth.

    She can tolerate it or move.
    See those flying monkeys? They work for me.


    2 members found this post helpful.

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