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  1. #121
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    Quote Originally Posted by Windsor1 View Post
    The OP may indeed be selfish. With that said, I'm not really sure we need to invoke cancer and freak fatal accidents to shame her into silence. Ninety percent of the threads here don't amount to a hill of beans next to terminal cancer, but I don't think that obligates the rest of us never to utter a complaining word unless we or someone close to us is dead or dying.
    I don't think that a person needs to keep quiet when things are annoying, but KayBee has thrown up road block after road block as to why this solution or that won't work. In the big scheme of things, crying babies are minor.


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  2. #122
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    Jun. 24, 2004
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    Oh, I sympathize also, just don't think there is much she can do to control the environment, so suggested better earplugs, since those seem to work EXCEPT when they fall out or she forgets to put them in.
    Better than starting a feud with the neighbours...
    A friend told me I was delusional. I almost fell off my unicorn.



  3. #123
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    Jan. 18, 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
    Those of you who say "babies cry", you aren't saying since babies cry, that all neighbors need to suck up and suffer, while the parents assume "it's not my responsibility"?

    I understand a bit of tolerance goes a long way, but tolerance needs to be two way, meaning, the parents had better do everything they can to alleviate the burdens they place on their neighbors. It's the same as shrieking kids at restaurants. If kids misbehave, the parents had better do something about it, instead of, "Kids misbehave, now you diners suck up and take it."
    Amen to this.
    The truth is always in the middle.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  4. #124
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    That's easy to say until you remember that she has the mortgage and the screaming neighbor.

    I would let the neighbor know that their Precious is waking you up every morning. They live in a condo now and their (and their children's) behaviors affect their neighbors. Being a parent isn't an excuse to be a sh!tty neighbor, despite what folks here think. I would go with the fake concern.

    The neighbor's are the one causing problems, not the OP. They can soundproof their unit just as easily as she can soundproof hers. Too many parents think the rest of us should just put up with their kids. No, not much can be done with a screaming baby, but lots of behaviors later in life that the neighbors shouldn't have to put up with. Parents need to made aware NOW that Precious isn't the center of everyone else's life.

    Having lived in condos/apartments/townhouses for the last 15 years, I can say with certainty that $1.99 ear plugs will not fix this problem. The baby will eventually stop crying; however, unless something is said, the parents will not stop being oblivious to the neighbors on the other side of their living room wall.
    Nobody said that "Precious" needs to be the center of anyone's life.

    It's a baby crying for a relatively short amount of time 2x in the morning. This is completely normal, expected behavior.
    Living in close quarters means you control excessive noise. 15-30 minutes of crying baby is not excessive noise.

    Some of these folks are the same ones who agree that those who move in next to a farm need to get used to farm smells and noises. Animals can't help that, animals aren't doing anything unusual, it's farm country, they were there first.

    And now we have a condo/co-op with a crying baby.
    Baby can't help that, baby isn't doing anything unusual/excessive, it's a co-op with families living in it (not a singles/1 br only complex), the family was there with the baby first.


    So what's the difference other than folks have switched sides due to it being a horse person complaining about children which many on here dislike? Can't have it both ways. Either ALL people in an area MUST be accomodated despite seniority or demographics or common sense prevails.


    Those comparing yappy dogs to crying babies: yeesh. Common sense again. An adult dog can be trained to not yap. A child of a certain age can be taught to use "inside voices" A crying baby cannot be trained or taught to not cry, it's innate. I'm betting the same complainers would swap sides if the OP said she knowingly moved in/bought next door to a dog breeder and was sick and tired of listening to puppies whine for a few minutes every morning. "Aww, they're puppies and can't help it! Plus you knew they were there when you moved in and those pups will grow up soon!" Puppies = cute. Babies = I don't like them. And no, I'm not a huge fan of other peoples' children either. Mine rock, others? Not so much.


    As for the earplugs not working...seriously? I use them at *indoor* ranges and they seriously muffle the report of a snubbed barrel and even hollow points being fired about 12" from my ears. And I can't really hear a person talking right next to my head. I'm pretty positive they'll dull a baby crying through a wall. FFS, silliest thing I've ever read...

    And anyways, since the OP said it's an actual co-op...the CORRECT procedure for dealing with any and all noise issues is to address the co-op board and not passively aggressively weasel at the neighbors.

    Or buy the $1.99 earplugs that I buy, that are apparently majikal.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #125

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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
    Those of you who say "babies cry", you aren't saying since babies cry, that all neighbors need to suck up and suffer, while the parents assume "it's not my responsibility"?

    I understand a bit of tolerance goes a long way, but tolerance needs to be two way, meaning, the parents had better do everything they can to alleviate the burdens they place on their neighbors. It's the same as shrieking kids at restaurants. If kids misbehave, the parents had better do something about it, instead of, "Kids misbehave, now you diners suck up and take it."
    It's NOT the same. Shrieking kids in restaurants can and should be corrected or removed.

    You can't correct an infant when it's crying. No one is saying it's not the responsibility of the parents. Just that it's an unrealistic expectation to live in an apartment or condo and not hear the neighbor's baby crying.
    http://www.tbhsa.com/index.html

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    I love feral children. They taste like chicken.


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  6. #126
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    Sep. 8, 2006
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    Fredericksburg, VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by threedogpack View Post
    I don't think that a person needs to keep quiet when things are annoying, but KayBee has thrown up road block after road block as to why this solution or that won't work. In the big scheme of things, crying babies are minor.
    And again, in the big scheme of things, show coat colors, finicky eaters and people who can't merge = also minor. No need to bring up cancer and horse-dragging deaths.
    Everyone is entitled to my opinion.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  7. #127
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    Jan. 18, 2004
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    Western WA
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    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    Some of these folks are the same ones who agree that those who move in next to a farm need to get used to farm smells and noises. Animals can't help that, animals aren't doing anything unusual, it's farm country, they were there first.
    :
    I remember in the early 1980s when large apartment complexs used to have 'family' buildings (or sections) and 'Single' sections. That actually was a pretty good idea. However, families complained (because of the noise, LOL), and it was found to be descriminatory. So no more separation of the family/singles. And the singles lost, in my opinion.
    The truth is always in the middle.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  8. #128
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    As I understand it, a baby's cry was *designed* to be annoying.... the parents would do anything to make that shizzle stop. Oh, but that part of the evolutionary design of babies presumed that the parents would not want to kill the sucker. After all, baby's getting to adulthood was the alpha and omega of their lives.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    5 members found this post helpful.

  9. #129
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    Jul. 4, 2006
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    I lived through this kind of hell myself. Old STUDIO apartment. People had an infant that turned into (of course) a toddler. As a toddler it was worse. However in my case, this kid ran and bashed and banged (and screamed and screeched) against their completely bare, hard-wood floors from early morning, until late at night. As far as I could tell this toddler had a bedtime of sometime around 10 or 11 PM, it was ridiculous. Anyway, a huge part of the problem (besides the fact that it was an old building with not a lot of internal insulation) was the fact that these people refused to put down one stitch of rug or carpeting. So every sound ended up being amplified down through my apartment. Did I mention that this was a STUDIO apartment? There was no escaping the noise. It wasn't like when there was noise in one room, I could move to another. I was held hostage by it. Oh, let me tell you about the time they gave their child an electric keyboard. They decided that the best way for the kid to play with this was to lay it flat on the BARE WOOD floor and just bang on it. For hours. Seriously, these people left me in a quivering, anxiety pile of mush. I actually don't remember much in the way of infant crying, but the constant crashing, banging and screeching was a hell that I will never forget.

    Anyway, sorry for my rant. I actually wanted to ask if you know if your upstairs neighbors have rugs or carpeting? If not, they may not be compliant with city or your apartment rules. I think in NYC anyway you are required to have a certain % of your floor covered (at least that used to be the case). I never pursued that angle with my horrible neighbors, but just lived in absolute misery.
    -Debbie / NH

    My Blog: http://deborahsulli.blogspot.com/


    4 members found this post helpful.

  10. #130
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    Jul. 19, 2007
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    Michigan
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    I would speak to the condo association. The OP can soundproof, but the people causing the problem (screaming baby, screaming toddler, soon to be two screaming toddlers) can soundproof just as well. They CHOSE to have kids, they need to take some responsibility for minimizing disruption the kids cause.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  11. #131
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    Oct. 18, 2000
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    Connecticut
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    I've been following this thread. Here are a few random thoughts.

    OP, if you don't own the unit, then you have the freedom to deal with this or move out. Which is why people are throwing this out there as an option. If you don't want to incur the costs of getting into a quieter living space, that is your decision. If you have signed a one year lease, November is a long way off. There are some good posts here on dealing with it as effectively as is probably possible.

    I moved from one of these situations to another state which had units in a mostly adult community. Best move I could have made, as I worked from home and needed the peace and quiet. The earlier situation was so loud and chaotic during both the day and night that one of my clients went home and actually called dcs on the family below my unit, and it turned out to be with good cause, much to my amazement. Things quieted down substantially after one visit from them. They were the type of people to take revenge on that sort of thing, so I am glad I wasn't the one who made the call. Still, the best move was to get into a better situation. It was expensive, but it was worth it.

    Self-soothing: there was a special on TV last night about ongoing research that is being done on this with babies and mothers who practice self-soothing, and following the children as they mature to see if there is any correlation between self-soothing and hostility expressed in these children's present day behaviors. And there seems to be quite a bit of it, actually. The doctor running the study is finding that in general, these are the children who are hostile to their peers even as pre-schoolers, pick the fights, bully, etc. The special was on PBS last night concerning mass murderers in American history, focusing mostly on the younger ones, causes for it, parenting styles, etc. The doctor running the study was prominently featured in the program. The name of the program is: Violent Video Games and Violent Behavior After Newtown: Guns in America. It was on PBS Wednesday at 9 pm.

    I am now in a quiet living situation, and I hope one way or another, the same becomes possible for the OP.
    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein

    http://s1098.photobucket.com/albums/...2011%20Photos/


    5 members found this post helpful.

  12. #132
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    May. 24, 2006
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    Get a white noise machine, they do wonders...When I was in an apartment, same situation so thats what I did..Noise you do not want to hear is part of apartment living....and as far as being mad about an infant crying, I feel you are really being unkind...try to get yourself relocated to a different unit, or put on a white noise machine. geesh..glad you dont live near me.



  13. #133
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    Jan. 9, 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
    Those of you who say "babies cry", you aren't saying since babies cry, that all neighbors need to suck up and suffer, while the parents assume "it's not my responsibility"?

    I understand a bit of tolerance goes a long way, but tolerance needs to be two way, meaning, the parents had better do everything they can to alleviate the burdens they place on their neighbors. It's the same as shrieking kids at restaurants. If kids misbehave, the parents had better do something about it, instead of, "Kids misbehave, now you diners suck up and take it."
    But the OP has not provided any evidence to suggest that the parents are NOT doing everything they can to alleviate the burden they are placing on the neighbors. And there really isn't any evidence to suggest that they are even creating a burden; they are merely parents of an infant who cries occasionally (oh the horrors!). All evidence provided indicates that these parent ARE in fact taking responsibility in their roles as parents.

    And comparing an infant crying in the confines of his own home to one crying in a restaurant is so ridiculous it's not even worth addressing.


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  14. #134
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    Jan. 18, 2004
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    Western WA
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thoroughbred1201 View Post
    Wow, perish the thought that anyone with children should have to have consideration for their neighbors. All I can say is that all the posters here who have basically told the OP to essentially get over it, must have God's gift of children. You know, those that are so special and precious that anybody who complains of said child must be evil/selfish/rude.

    This is why we have a generation of selfish children who feel like the world owes them. I'd hate to have any of you as neighbors. It used to be that the families got houses and took the responsibility of a mortgage. And don't tell me you can't afford it - you're the ones telling the OP to do that.
    Repost of post #68. Seems to be needed again.
    The truth is always in the middle.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  15. #135
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    Jan. 14, 2006
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    Geez, OP. I seriously feel for you and think a lot of the posters here are being unkind. I don't have any advice, unfortunately, but wanted to throw my support your way.

    I think soundproofing may be the way to go for now. My brother is a musician and did his "studio" pretty cheaply. It's not pretty but for your sanity, it might be worth it till kiddo turns 3 or 4.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  16. #136
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    Dec. 30, 2002
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    I feel for you OP. I am the mom of a screaming child and don't want to hear the screaming either! I know what it's like to be that parent who is hoping that baby will settle herself and go back to sleep, but I also know that it really sucks to be woken up by noisy neighbours on a regular basis.

    Just know that crying baby stage won't last forever. I really don't think you're being selfish at all. The sound of a crying child would drive anyone crazy. I hope you can reach a solution soon or that the crying ends. Hang in there.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  17. #137
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    If this baby is close to 6 months old, and just started this, could very well be teething. In that scenario, I truly believe the parents need to address it.

    I was one of those who let my son cry for adjustment reasons, but we were in our own home, and it didn't take him long at all to fall asleep. However, not when teething. And he did have a time when he was very sick as an infant, though, and during that time, he was not left alone to cry. I, on the other hand, had about 2 hours of sleep a night for several weeks, and until it was resolved was ready to kill anyone who crossed my path...

    Do they still have those teething rings you put in the freezer? (Son now 24!) I'd buy some, and/or some anbesol, make a little basket, and leave that with a kind note that maybe this will help him. Must be hard for them to sleep since you know you're hearing it...?

    And agree on the sound proofing, playing music, earplugs. I have a great down comforter that I use all year 'round. To me it's even cool in the summer. And it sometimes helps kill sounds if I bury myself under it!
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes


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  18. #138
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    I certainly agree that it has to be annoying as hell for the OP.

    However I don't agree with:
    *small babies should be quiet all the time when at home
    *people should expect complete silence when living in a community building
    *especially a multi-bedroom building as families/children are the norm in a co-op
    *double especially when you knew there was a newborn next door when you moved in
    *allowing a baby to cry for 15 minutes is teaching it the world revolves around it
    *earplugs cannot possibly work!
    *it's better to slip them a note or pretend concern when addressing them directly instead of going to the co-op board
    *that it's up to the neighbors that were already there, with a baby that was already there, to remedy a completely normal situation of a crying baby that's not screaming 24/7 but the new neighbor has zero responsibility of any remedy they can do for themselves.

    Why is it *only* up to the neighbors to keep a small baby silent? I agree that if it's THAT bad, to certainly take it up with the co-op board. Which is not only the proper procedure, but the obvious one. Let the co-op approach the neighbor. Meanwhile, do what you can also.

    I'm sure it is annoying. I'd be grouchy about it too, but I'd also do something actually constructive and pro-active about it. I'd put in earplugs, try white noise machines, etc while waiting for the board to see me about the noise complaint if I wasn't able to alleviate the noise myself.
    But the suggestions given are silly. Co-ops have rules up the yin-yang usually. You have to agree to them to reside there. Check the rules, talk to the board.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte



  19. #139
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    Nov. 15, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by candyappy View Post
    Babies wake up to eat every couple of hours through the night from day 1. After about 6 months most babies can make it through the night without needing to eat, but continue to wake up anyways and cry for mom. If this pattern isn't broken poor parents will be getting up to rock baby back to sleep. Baby NEEDS TO LEARN that they can get to sleep all on their own. Unfortunately this means a period of adjustment that can have a lot of crying involved and usually not at the most convenient times. I think the OP needs to just hang in there because it won't last forever.
    Babies learning to self soothe involves a crying session that gets shorter each time, if it doesn't the baby is not ready or has another issue.

    OP I thought your note was fine, let them know that their noise is bothering you and perhaps they can find a way to make it less annoying.


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  20. #140
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    Oct. 28, 2007
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    Id buy or make a mobile for the kiddo, maybe with horsies hanging down ( nothing like early conditioning ), and a sound damping throw rug, plus those teething rings AND ear plugs for the parents.
    They may think you are wonderful and later wonder how you knew that they could use the earplugs...and then their brains may kick in. Then cork board your ceiling or wall.
    Good friends of mine sound proofed the adjoing wall in a very expensive condo. The noise went on till he moved out at 18 yrs old.



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