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  1. #21
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    perhaps you could talk to the apartment manager about putting more sound-proofing in between units?
    my apartment complex is heavily sound-proofed; you can't hear your neighbors at all.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by Event4Life View Post
    What Katarine said. Move to the top floor. I had a choice between top floor and first floor and though moving in was a PITA (thanks, Dad!) I am so so so glad we sucked it up. I hardly hear any noise.

    No no no to the note - they can't help the baby crying, its a baby. That is what babies do.
    15 to 30 minutes?

    that is a LONG time....and at 5AM?

    I am sorry...but that is not Ok...

    Maybe, since they live upstairs they have no idea how loud they are....so maybe no note but a concerned inquirey when you meet them in the hall way - even if you have to wait for them to come out or home - oh the poor dear, he cries so much in the morning.....

    If I knew that my lifestyle impacted my neighbors that much, I'd me mortified and try anything to ease the pain!

    But letting the kid scream at 5AM is really rude....Yes, I understand there can be issues that make a baby fussy...but that should not happen all the time!
    Quote Originally Posted by fargaloo View Post
    Do you not understand how asking "why now?" is EXACTLY part of the reason why assault victims feel silenced?


    15 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
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    talk to the apartment manager, see if you can move into a different apartment, a top floor on the end

    as a baby I was the colicky nightmare, I cried non stop and there was nothing my parents could do, my Dr. told my mom to put me in the crib, go to the other end of the house and close as many doors as she could and turn on the tv for an hour, to keep from killing me


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
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    Dec. 10, 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by GraceLikeRain View Post
    Meh. Maybe I'm just more rude but I would say something. You are paying a full price for rent and your quality of life is being compromised. Approach the landlord and see if it would be possible to move you to another unit. If that doesn't work then I think there is no harm in the letter. Your letter is tasteful but direct. It could be that the parents are unaware of how thin the walls are and would be more cognizant of how their screaming or allowing their child to self soothe at the wee hours of the morning is affecting their neighbors.
    There is nothing tasteful about telling someone their child crying for 30 minutes is ruining the quality of your life, or telling them that they are happy their son accepted their new sibling finally and that she was sick of his temper tantrums. Babies cry. Kids occasionally have temper tantrums. It happens. You cried. You had tantrums. So did the OP. Your mothers dealt with it best as they knew how. This is a baby, not a stereo you can turn off.


    12 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
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    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    If they got up to actually soothe the child, that would be one thing. But... they don't. Their solution is to let him/her cry himself out.
    Here's the thing - that's considered a valid parenting strategy so that kiddo learns to "self soothe" sooner, so that over the long term, he doesn't start to shriek every time he wakes up alone. Not everybody follows that strategy, or thinks it's a good idea, but a ton of parents do, with varying levels of success. You also don't know what else is going on at those times - perhaps they're trying to shower and get ready for work and get breakfast ready or get the older kid ready or god knows what.

    Not that it really matters, this is (sadly) part of apartment life. I would not send the note. Instead, I suggest one (or a combination) of the following:

    - Start getting up earlier. Get up at 5 and go for a run or to the gym before starting the rest of your day. Not sure what you do, but if you have a job you'd be up at 7 anyway, so it's really only the earlier waking that's the problem anyway. Sometimes, it's best to accept a sucky situation and find a way to make it less sucky.

    - Buy a good white noise machine. There's a really cool one on the market that "senses" noise in your environment and adjusts the volume accordingly.

    - Ask to move to a top floor apartment or other apartment that is quieter.

    - Pull up stakes and move
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    If they got up to actually soothe the child, that would be one thing. But... they don't. Their solution is to let him/her cry himself out.
    Which is a well-respected and well-known form of raising a child.

    That's a hazard of apartment living. I HATE babies but I will be the first to say that a baby is not a barking dog or a large pacing man. Not at all. There is nothing that can be done.

    Edit: As for calling CPS...that sort of shit will likely have YOU asked to leave the apartment building, as the resident PITA, not the family with the kids. Plus, do I even need to mention that CPS is an over-worked, under-funded gov. agency who has more important things to do than check on babies who cry for 15 min in the morning? I suggest against that plan of action.


    15 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
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    No, you cannot do that, complain to the parents (especially with a note) about their crying baby. You can be sure that they are not enjoying the crying either.

    You are left with several things you can do:

    - Change your environment as best you can: white noise machine, remember to put in your ear plugs, move your bed to another part of the apartment, etc...

    - Ask the landlord to improve noise control. Put a carpet in the upstairs apartment, put some acoustic ceiling treatment on yours, etc...

    -Ask the landlord if you can move to another, vacant, apartment in the building. But you could be jumping out of the frying pan into the fire...new neighbor could be a drummer in a band .

    - Move out of the building and find housing that is either single family housing, is better constructed is not family oriented and is only for adults.



  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoForAGallop View Post
    Which is a well-respected and well-known form of raising a child.

    That's a hazard of apartment living. I HATE babies but I will be the first to say that a baby is not a barking dog or a large pacing man. Not at all. There is nothing that can be done.
    LOL, then I guess having a sleep deprived neighbor knock on your door at 5 in the morning is also part of apartment living....

    yes, I am a mean witch at that time of day!
    Quote Originally Posted by fargaloo View Post
    Do you not understand how asking "why now?" is EXACTLY part of the reason why assault victims feel silenced?


    12 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoForAGallop View Post
    Which is a well-respected and well-known form of raising a child.
    There is controversy re: whether self soothing for infants is possible (the kid is not yet 6 months old). And while it may be a well-known form of child-rearing, it's not particularly neighborly.

    Sadly, moving apartments is not possible. It's a condo complex, not a rental unit. They are the new neighbors.

    And as for whether I could hear them if they were with the child, yes, I would be able to hear them if they were in the room with the child. And I would not be able to hear them as well if they took the child back to their bedroom.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    LOL, then I guess having a sleep deprived neighbor knock on your door at 5 in the morning is also part of apartment living....
    Oh, yes. When I'm really cranky, I consider ring-and-run.

    Quote Originally Posted by caffeinated View Post
    15-30 minutes is not abuse. Seriously? CPS?
    Not sure about CPS, but I do find it disturbing when the crying is interspersed with gasps/chokes mid wail, which starts to happen when the crying goes past the 15-minute mark.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by Manahmanah View Post
    This is why I will never move into a place with a child above, below or on either side of me. You failed to ask this question before you moved in, and so now you're pretty much stuck. I would complain to the landlord. If they really are letting the baby scream for extended periods of time I would also call cps.

    15-30 minutes is not abuse. Seriously? CPS?
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoForAGallop View Post
    Which is a well-respected and well-known form of raising a child.

    That's a hazard of apartment living. I HATE babies but I will be the first to say that a baby is not a barking dog or a large pacing man. Not at all. There is nothing that can be done.

    If the dog is a puppy that no longer needs to go outside at 3AM but wakes up and fusses til it learns that it doesn't get attention, it's the same.

    If the neighbor works from home doing tech support they may well get up and walk around.

    I've lived in a zillion apartments, never ever ever on a middle or bottom floor. If you are willing to do that, you have to be willing to make concessions.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    I can certainly hear their low-voiced conversations. If they were in the room with the baby, I would hear it.
    gawd, I hope you are located under their bedroom
    Quote Originally Posted by fargaloo View Post
    Do you not understand how asking "why now?" is EXACTLY part of the reason why assault victims feel silenced?



  13. #33
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    If you can seriously hear low voiced conversations clearly, you need to discuss sound proofing with your landlord, or move. You cannot complain about a baby who cries in the night. That's what babies do.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by katarine View Post
    If the dog is a puppy that no longer needs to go outside at 3AM but wakes up and fusses til it learns that it doesn't get attention, it's the same.

    If the neighbor works from home doing tech support they may well get up and walk around.
    I get that it's just as annoying, that's not what the point of my post was. You can ask that a dog be crated, or even removed from the property if it's that much of an issue. You can ask the neighbor to take their shoes off.

    As someone already said: what are you expecting them to do? Duct tape it's mouth???



  15. #35
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    If they really are letting the baby scream for extended periods of time I would also call cps.
    Gonna go ahead and guess you don't have kids. And also, RIDICULOUS!


    11 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
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    Crying baby, get over it. I once lived below a woman who was a very active "canoer" and had a creaky bed. Try sleeping through that every night, especially when you haven't canoed in a while. Then there were the two guys who liked to watch football and drink lots of beer, you could hear them peeing and the toilet flush every 15 minutes. And oh yes, the dude who was mentally ill and had an episode that required about 3 police cars when he threw himself off the balcony. That's why I don't like apartments.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
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    Perhaps talk to the mother? Have a small conversation and ask about the baby in a concerned tone. Like "Is your child feeling alright? He seems to be crying quite a bit in the early mornings? I hope he is feeling alright, babies can be tough."

    Show some concern and it goes a long way, even if you don't mean it. You let her now, in a non threatening way that you can hear the child and you present that you care about the child. Worked for me when I was in the apartments.
    I am on my phone 90% of the time. Please ignore typos, misplaced lower case letters, and the random word butchered by autocowreck.



    7 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
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    Just keep extra ear plugs around. Mine fall out while I sleep, and I use them every night as DH is a loud snorer and I'm a light sleeper, and I just open another pack and put them in and go back to sleep. Problem solved.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by FLeventer View Post
    Perhaps talk to the mother? Have a small conversation and ask about the baby in a concerned tone. Like "Is your child feeling alright? He seems to be crying quite a bit in the early mornings? I hope he is feeling alright, babies can be tough."

    Show some concern and it goes a long way, even if you don't mean it. You let her now, in a non threatening way that you can hear the child and you present that you care about the child. Worked for me when I was in the apartments.
    Honestly I think this approach is the only way to go, if you want to go to them directly.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    And I would not be able to hear them as well if they took the child back to their bedroom.

    Not sure about CPS, but I do find it disturbing when the crying is interspersed with gasps/chokes mid wail, which starts to happen when the crying goes past the 15-minute mark.
    That sounds like normal baby crying.

    Also, if the first statement above is true, how about being nice, forgetting about the passive-agressive note, and approaching them during the day, when you are hopefully in a more forgiving mood.

    "Hi neighbors! Can I meet your baby? Aww, how adorable! Hey, I know babies can be a PITA, but I'm being woken up every day, really early, by your baby's cries. Her bedroom is right next to mine. Is there any way, just for the next few months until she's more comfortable sleeping by herself, that she can be moved to a room farther from the connecting wall? I totally get the problems, I'm sure you must be exhausted, but my day starts early too. BTW, if you ever need a baby sitter some night, in order to have a nice dinner alone, let me know!"

    Going to the condo association, and PARTICULARLY the nasty note, are just going to escalate things and make it miserable living next to them for the next ten years.

    Try to have a little understanding, and offer up a workable solution for everyone.


    3 members found this post helpful.

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