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  1. #221
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    May. 4, 2003
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    Canada
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    14,766

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    To the OP: Put a sign on your fridge (all mothers should have one) that says "This too shall pass", because the baby's colic will improve, his teething will pass, he will grow up and out of that phase --- eventually!

    Good luck - I feel for you (pat, pat)
    Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique


    2 members found this post helpful.

  2. #222
    Join Date
    Dec. 15, 2005
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    3,576

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    Offer to watch the baby and the toddler every night for a week. If the parents get to sleep all night for a week, they will have more energy to tend the children when they cry. You will become more understanding of what the parents are going through.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  3. #223
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2014
    Posts
    1

    Default My sympathies

    All I can offer are my sympathies.

    The child in the adjoining town house screams for a half hour to an hour multiple times each week for the past 3 years. Before that it was a different child (at times, one on both sides), but those children were generally younger. As James has aged, his cries have only become more guttural and disturbing. He has hit 65 dB during his loudest wails. (Yes, after being awoken for the hundredth time at 3 am, I ordered a sound meter online. I wasn't going back to sleep, so what else could I do?)

    I've done everything from talking to the father about abandoning the Ferber method to constructing a second, sound-proofed bedroom wall for around $4,000. The new wall did knock down the volume some, but now he has begun banging his bedroom furniture around.

    I can't afford to sell my house, and frankly, I shouldn't have to.

    So for those critics of the OP, may you slowly and painfully burn in the same putrid hell I wish for my neighbor and his child every other day or so around 9 pm (bed time tantrum), 3 am (mid-sleep tantrum), and 6 am (wake up tantrum).


    19 members found this post helpful.

  4. #224
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2011
    Location
    hunterdon, nj
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    908

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    Quote Originally Posted by dontcare View Post
    All I can offer are my sympathies.

    The child in the adjoining town house screams for a half hour to an hour multiple times each week for the past 3 years. Before that it was a different child (at times, one on both sides), but those children were generally younger. As James has aged, his cries have only become more guttural and disturbing. He has hit 65 dB during his loudest wails. (Yes, after being awoken for the hundredth time at 3 am, I ordered a sound meter online. I wasn't going back to sleep, so what else could I do?)

    I've done everything from talking to the father about abandoning the Ferber method to constructing a second, sound-proofed bedroom wall for around $4,000. The new wall did knock down the volume some, but now he has begun banging his bedroom furniture around.

    I can't afford to sell my house, and frankly, I shouldn't have to.

    So for those critics of the OP, may you slowly and painfully burn in the same putrid hell I wish for my neighbor and his child every other day or so around 9 pm (bed time tantrum), 3 am (mid-sleep tantrum), and 6 am (wake up tantrum).



    You have a lot more patience than I do. I would be on the phone with cops and CPS within the first 5 minutes of him crying. I understand that kids get sick and have needs, yadda yadda. After 3 years of endless screaming enough is enough. The child clearly needs something else. Letting it scream endlessly is just cruel.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  5. #225
    Join Date
    Sep. 22, 2008
    Location
    NC
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    1,906

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    Personally (as a parent) there is a big difference between a crying infant and a screaming 3+ year old. At preschool age there should be a lot more control from the child and action/reaction from the parents. I suspect either a lack of discipline or a developmental issue (Autism comes to mind).

    I hope the OP has figured out how to keep her ear plugs from falling out and is finally getting some sleep.
    You can't fix stupid.... but you can breed it!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  6. #226

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    Most states say you have the right to peaceful enjoyment of your domicle. Face it honey, you are screwed.



  7. #227
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2010
    Location
    Earlysville, Virginia
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    3,267

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    Well yall have resurrected an old thread but I'm kinda thrilled...

    I live on the second floor. The people living directly above AND directly below me have newborns. I HEAR CRYING ALL THE TIME.
    The only reason I want to complain is because in the first few weeks of moving in here, our downstairs neighbors made 4 formal complaints to property management (one during move-in weekend...really nice...) AND called the cops on us for "walking around loudly/wrestling????" when we were sitting on the floor drinking wine. (The cops stood outside of the apartment and said they heard nothing We since have gotten texts from the downstairs neighbors saying that our "Water running sounds louder than normal." UH OKAY AND IM DONE--PLEASE CALL THE COPS AGAIN.
    Charlie Brown (1994 bay TB X gelding)
    White Star (2004 grey TB gelding)

    Mystical Moment, 1977-2010.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  8. #228
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2009
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    5,621

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    It really does suck that "adults-only" apartment complexes are illegal. I'm in a townhouse, which I own, and fortunately we're on an end unit and the one neighbor has really awesome older kids.

    We do occasionally throw around the idea of moving into one of those 55+ communities. I'm 10 years away from being able to do that, but DH will be 57 this year. The ones around here are really strict on the "no kids" policies. However, I fear they probably also very strict about a lot of other things.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  9. #229
    Join Date
    Jan. 9, 2003
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    1,349

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    Quote Originally Posted by Mara View Post
    It really does suck that "adults-only" apartment complexes are illegal. I'm in a townhouse, which I own, and fortunately we're on an end unit and the one neighbor has really awesome older kids.

    We do occasionally throw around the idea of moving into one of those 55+ communities. I'm 10 years away from being able to do that, but DH will be 57 this year. The ones around here are really strict on the "no kids" policies. However, I fear they probably also very strict about a lot of other things.
    I always kind of get a laugh out of those who complain about kids, as though they themselves weren't kids at one time.

    Oh sure, I get it: your parents raised you to be perfect and therefore you were, your siblings were perfect (or not, which only makes your assertion that you were perfect that much more believable to you), but really, I don't see any difference in general behavior today than I ever remember.

    Crying children throwing temper tantrums is not some new 21st century thing. We are not such special hot house flowers that we shouldn't have to deal with it in the same way that previous generations have put up with the same.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  10. #230
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    Mar. 10, 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by ynl063w View Post
    I always kind of get a laugh out of those who complain about kids, as though they themselves weren't kids at one time.

    Oh sure, I get it: your parents raised you to be perfect and therefore you were, your siblings were perfect (or not, which only makes your assertion that you were perfect that much more believable to you), but really, I don't see any difference in general behavior today than I ever remember.

    Crying children throwing temper tantrums is not some new 21st century thing. We are not such special hot house flowers that we shouldn't have to deal with it in the same way that previous generations have put up with the same.
    And I always laugh at someone's idea of "logic" being that because we were kids once, we should ALSO love everyone's crotch fruit and think everything children do is charming.

    I hate babies and young children. I wasn't perfect and in fact I am dead certain I was a pain in the ass at times. I just had parents who thought it was worth putting up with infant crying and toddler tantrums and teenage assholishness to get, well, whatever it was they found rewarding about having kids. I do not. Different strokes.


    38 members found this post helpful.

  11. #231
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    Clarksville, TN
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    557

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    Thankfully I live in an apartment complex that discourages people with children from renting. It is a private apartment complex but it is geared to the local universities so has study rooms available and an official 'quiet time' which begins at 10:00 pm on weekdays. I only know of one child here and she is the daughter of a faculty member of a local university. As much as I hate children, she is very well mannered for her age and I have NEVER heard her make a peep other than laughter.

    I cannot and will not deal with screaming/crying children period.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  12. #232
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    Feb. 20, 2010
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    All 'round Canadia
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    All I could think of was that OP's condo is a crappy, crappy construction. Yes, I'd probably be able to hear a baby screaming its lungs out next door, but I shouldn't be able to hear whether the parents are in the room trying to soothe the baby! Or normal low-volume level conversations.

    I live in a condo. I will hear the occasional LOUD noise, but I certainly don't hear people conversing, or walking from room to room unless they were wearing tap shoes (none of my neighbors appear to be into tap-dancing though).
    Proud Member Of The Lady Mafia


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #233
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    Dec. 15, 2005
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    3,576

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    I agree with Coanteen that builders are the real culprits. Walls should be built so sounds don't pass through so easily. My younger daughter lived in a student apartment for 2 years of college. You would expect it to be noisy. Instead, it was so quiet that you could hear a pin drop. The builder expected students to be loud and knew how to soundproof.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  14. #234
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2014
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    17

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    Maybe she should just shake the baby, it shouldn't be crying it should behave as well as any adult/horse/dog what ever. (SARCASM)

    Babies cry, and I thought all babies had a couple periods a day where they would be fussy no matter what - my friends baby fusses from 9-10 pm regardless of what she does.

    The baby has a right to be there and the parents aren't obligated to knock on every door and ask if you can hear them. The problem is the building. I live in an apartment building and our neighbours have 3 young children under 6- and unless I step out into the hall way I cannot hear them what so ever. I used to live below a toddler at another place that had no sound proofing and that was annoying but the toddler has every right to be a toddler in her own home and I since it was a cheaper option, I put up with it until I could afford something better. You get what you pay for I guess.
    BTW-- I am the "problem renter".... I admit, I complain a lot, but definitely not about children being children (within reason) and certainly not about an infant!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #235
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
    Location
    NorthEast
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    24,593

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    I think the point of tolerating crying children because we were all children at one time is that if others had to tolerate each one of us, it's not really logical to them demand that even if others had to hear us scream as kids, nobody else's children should ever bother us.

    But I also understand not having to listen to constant noise like that, no matter if it's coming from a screaming baby, a shrieking toddler, a yapping dog, a constant drunk singing off key, a teenager practicing the piccolo 3 hours daily or a meth couple fighting all the time.

    The problem is indeed crappy construction. There's supposed to be a certain amount of both insulation and fire wall between units. I would assume that building code would extend into all states, but not sure. At least the firewall should. Heck there are plenty of apartment buildings and high rises that don't allow hard surface flooring anywhere but the first floor due to sound issues. And the mid to higher end ones allow it as long as they adding in a sound insulation buffer under hardwoods.

    But then too many places go for cheap/affordable as opposed to livable.

    Mara, check into 55+ places, each one has different by-laws. The most popular age restriction is that one owning family member has to be over the age of 55 and that no family members living there full time can be under the age of 18.
    The other by-laws and restriction will vary drastically from complex to complex. But they've come a *long* way in the last decade or two with adult complexes since adults are much more active than they used to be. Instead of having to be completely silent all the time and having bingo and knitting nights there are plenty that are more like vacation resorts with lap pools, hot tubs, rock climbing walls, hiking trails, movie theaters, etc. There's a few around here that are like land-locked cruise ships, LOL!
    (although a big thing to check is their HOA fees on the nicer places, those can be quite high!)
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


    3 members found this post helpful.

  16. #236
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
    Location
    Upstate NY
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    12,751

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    Quote Originally Posted by AliCat518 View Post
    We since have gotten texts from the downstairs neighbors saying that our "Water running sounds louder than normal."
    How the heck does water run louder than normal?

    I guess they get points for being creative in their desire to complain but really...


    5 members found this post helpful.

  17. #237
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    6,638

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    If you own one of these domiciles where sound apparently travels and/or is amplified such that it is intolerable... how about looking into adding spray foam insulation or other to the walls/ceilings between units?

    I mean, complaining and getting internet sympathy is great, but if you own it, you CAN do something about it if you really want a solution.
    Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

    http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #238
    Join Date
    Nov. 15, 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    6,638

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    Dup
    Yo/Yousolong April 23rd, 1985- April 15th, 2014

    http://notesfromadogwalker.com/2012/...m-a-sanctuary/



  19. #239
    Join Date
    Apr. 6, 2006
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    1,859

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    gawd, I hope you are located under their bedroom
    Been there, done that! You haven't lived until you've been woken up multiple times by the sound of rough water canoeing directly above your bed.

    I agree that there's nothing you can do about a baby. I have actually left notes for upstairs neighbors, but that was because I had just spent a week in the hospital and the canoeing couple also had screaming, door slamming arguments on a regular basis and I couldn't' take it anymore.



  20. #240
    Join Date
    Apr. 14, 2007
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    Pen Argyl PA
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    go to manager and explain. Ask that you be allowed to move ( break lease contract) due to situation. Find a place to rent that is not connected to another dwelling. Good Luck. This would make me stark, raving mad!!



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