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  1. #181
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    Quote Originally Posted by trubandloki View Post
    It is so funny because there is a large contingency here that is all 'how dare my neighbors <insert every day thing like weed whacking> while I am trying to ride Dobbin'. Some how it is wrong for your neighbors do their own thing on their own property at a normal time of day because it might bother your horse, but when someone has a problem with a neighbor at 5am, they are wrong because it is a, gasp, baby.
    there's also a large contingent here that says "don't move in next to a farm and then complain about the smell"



    I think what I object to is the idea that these people are horribly inconsiderate or expecting the world to bow to them because they have a baby. We have no way of knowing that. Even with the remarkably thin walls, we don't know those parents aren't in there rocking an inconsolable baby and trying their best. And a lot of us know that 15 minutes of crying is really minor compared to how bad it can get.

    And a lot of us who have said that babies cry and living in apartments means living with noise have also given other advice to try and help the OP get a more peaceful sleep. And also suggested a more direct approach like talking to the people instead of grumbling and stewing and sending a passive aggressive note. But it seems like anyone who says anything besides "what horrible inconsiderate people, yes send a note!" is put in some category of thinking the world should revolve around them because of their offspring.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  2. #182
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    Nov. 13, 2009
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    Have not read all of the responses, but I was in this situation when I was in college and studying for the LSAT. I don't even like kids, but I still would not have ever dreamt of saying anything to the parents. I think they were embarassed enough by it. The wife was not pregnant when I moved in, but had a baby during the time I lived next door. What can you do? Not much. As others have suggested, I think the only appropriate thing to do here is approach the LANDLORD about either soundproofing your apartment or about moving to a different unit.

    But, really, living in an apartment sucks for reasons like this all the time. While I was in law school, my bedroom shared a wall with the neighbors' bedroom. They had a lot of loud sex. [Shrug] At least it usually didn't last long, and now I live in a stand alone house quite happily.



  3. #183
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    Sep. 2, 2005
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    Upstate NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by nhwr View Post
    OP knew when she moved in there were kids in the apartment and accepted it.
    Maybe I read it wrong (not going back to check), but I read it that the family with the baby and the kid are new, the OP has lived there longer.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #184
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    Oct. 8, 2002
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    It's possible she wrote it wrong, but OP did say she knew there were kids there.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.



  5. #185
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    Mar. 26, 2008
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    Maine
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    Quote Originally Posted by trubandloki View Post
    Maybe I read it wrong (not going back to check), but I read it that the family with the baby and the kid are new, the OP has lived there longer.
    Quote Originally Posted by caffeinated View Post
    It's possible she wrote it wrong, but OP did say she knew there were kids there.
    Everyone is confused because she contradicted herself on this point:

    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    I live in an apartment building. When I moved in (mid-November) it was clear that neighbors above had a new infant. And an older toddler who was VERY unhappy with the situation. I gritted my teeth and bore with Jeffrey's temper tantrums every time the infant cried. My "patience" paid off and Jeffrey seemed to come to terms with his new sibling.
    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    Sadly, moving apartments is not possible. It's a condo complex, not a rental unit. They are the new neighbors.
    "Last time I picked your feet, you broke my toe!"



  6. #186
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    Dec. 21, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
    Well, one thing the parent can do, has not done, is to bundle the kid up, take the kid to the top of the roof, and let it cry to its little heart's content.

    Ridiculous? So you are saying a parent letting a kid shriek till the neighbor's ears fall off at 5:00 am is "responsible", but "irresponsible" when the same scenario happens at a restaurant at 7:00 pm? Which scenario would you prefer, to be driven crazy at 7:00 pm at your dining table, or 5:00 am from your bed?
    I hope you never have( or had) children. If you did then i sure hope you lived in a very warm climate. As many have said if the child is crying at 5 and then again at 7 most every morning then the parents are trying to break the habit of having to get up to get the child back to sleep. This is a normal procedure for many families and these people have a right to do this in their own home. I am sure they would love to have a house of their own, but they don't.

    OP should thank her lucky stars she doesn't live below a baby with chronic colic. My nephew had that and was non stop crying for almost a year 24/7.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #187
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    Sep. 7, 2009
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    Lexington, KY
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    So which is it OP...looks like you're busted. Are they the new neighbors or are you? COTH is not kind to posters who change their stories.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #188
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    Feb. 4, 2009
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    NCC DE
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    Just a quick suggestion to the OP. You might want to try sleeping with a fan on. I started doing that when I was married to my ex who snored so loud he woke my son in the other room.

    I dumped him not long after but I've kept the fan. It really helps, I have a hard time sleeping without it now. Especially on weekends when the neighbors dogs, kids, and chickens are making a racket and all I want to do is sleep until 8:00. It won't eliminate all the noise but makes it much more tolerable.

    I know it's not an ideal solution but it might help until you find a better one.



  9. #189
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    Feb. 6, 2007
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    Sheesh calm down down maybe what she meant to say is "Moving is not an option, they are my new neighbors."


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #190
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    Dec. 21, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    There is a poignant episode in M*A*S*H where a bunch of folks are on a bus trying to be quiet so that the Koreans don't find them and kill them all. Hawkeye is there and has PTSD because some woman has a squawking chicken... who suddenly is quieted. By the end of his therapy session, he realizes that it was a baby whose mother smothered him for the good of all.

    Holy crap, that puts things in perspective, doesn't it?
    Gave me the shivers just remembering the episode........



  11. #191
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    Jun. 12, 2007
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    Westchester County, NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    I would speak to the condo association. The OP can soundproof, but the people causing the problem (screaming baby, screaming toddler, soon to be two screaming toddlers) can soundproof just as well. They CHOSE to have kids, they need to take some responsibility for minimizing disruption the kids cause.

    This. Everybody needs to make an effort to minimize the disruption. Most apartment complexes have no noise hours- like midnight to 8 am, during which no noise should be heard outside your walls. I understand that might not be possible with an infant, but I'd certainly demand an effort- like moving the crib to an interior room, noise proofing, etc.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  12. #192
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Central Oklahoma
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    Quote Originally Posted by candyappy View Post
    I hope you never have( or had) children. If you did then i sure hope you lived in a very warm climate. As many have said if the child is crying at 5 and then again at 7 most every morning then the parents are trying to break the habit of having to get up to get the child back to sleep. This is a normal procedure for many families and these people have a right to do this in their own home. I am sure they would love to have a house of their own, but they don't.

    OP should thank her lucky stars she doesn't live below a baby with chronic colic. My nephew had that and was non stop crying for almost a year 24/7.
    Taking the baby up to the roof is only "one" of many available options. Taking the kid for a ride is another one. Sound proofing their own nursery is a third. Taking the baby to another room, a rest room maybe, that is farther from all neighboring bedrooms is a fourth. Apologizing profusely to all neighbors is yet a fifth. Should I continue? There are plenty of other things a parent can do to lesson a neighbor's grief.

    To say the neighbor should just suck it up regardless is really rude.

    By the way, I have not seen one, any single sign, that say the said parents did anything, anything at all, to try to alleviate the problem. Why should anyone assume they have not just shut their door and snooze away merrily? Yeah yeah yeah I know there is no evidence saying they aren't doing anything either, but remember, the neighbor is the victim here, not the perpetrator.

    A bit of good well from the one causing problem can go a long way.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  13. #193
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    Dec. 21, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post
    Taking the baby up to the roof is only "one" of many available options. Taking the kid for a ride is another one. Sound proofing their own nursery is a third. Taking the baby to another room, a rest room maybe, that is farther from all neighboring bedrooms is a fourth. Apologizing profusely to all neighbors is yet a fifth. Should I continue? There are plenty of other things a parent can do to lesson a neighbor's grief.

    To say the neighbor should just suck it up regardless is really rude.

    By the way, I have not seen one, any single sign, that say the said parents did anything, anything at all, to try to alleviate the problem. Why should anyone assume they have not just shut their door and snooze away merrily? Yeah yeah yeah I know there is no evidence saying they aren't doing anything either, but remember, the neighbor is the victim here, not the perpetrator.

    A bit of good well from the one causing problem can go a long way.
    Since the OP has never said if she has even met the parents of the children making the noise, how can they apologize? Maybe they have gone to her place but she isn't there? OP never said. I can guarantee you that if OP isn't sleeping the parents are not either. Since this apartment is above hers these parents have someone on both sides, below and possibly above them, where else can they go? Has OP gone to the other affected neighbors to discuss this? Is anyone else having a problem with it? I don't know because she hasn't done anything but complain here. I hardly think being awakened at 5 am makes anyone a victim.



  14. #194
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    I assume you are an early bird, to think 5 am is perfectly fine to be awoken? Are you happy if you were awaken at midnight?

    Oh and I can guarantee you that there is a good chance the parents are sleeping soundly, especially if they have popped in an Ambien, shut their own doors, and turn on the white noises themselves. They live with crying; their sensory have learnt to ignore that kind of noises. Besides, it is perfectly common for a down stair neighbor to suffer more noises than a bedroom two doors down the hall.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #195
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    Jul. 29, 2006
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    Colorado- Yee Haw!
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    One of my friends gave me these at my shower:
    http://www.amazon.com/New-Parent-Apo.../dp/0811851044
    Maybe you should send some to your neighbors :-)



  16. #196
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    Oct. 8, 2002
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    Maryland
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    Or send them this link.
    "smile a lot can let us ride happy,it is good thing"

    My CANTER blog.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #197
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    Sep. 7, 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by Gloria View Post

    By the way, I have not seen one, any single sign, that say the said parents did anything, anything at all, to try to alleviate the problem. Why should anyone assume they have not just shut their door and snooze away merrily? Yeah yeah yeah I know there is no evidence saying they aren't doing anything either, but remember, the neighbor is the victim here, not the perpetrator.

    .
    How on earth can you come to this conclusion, considering you've only heard the OP's side of the story? Critical thinking skills people, they're necessary to come to informed conclusions.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #198
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    Parents do not tune out crying babies while they sleep. A mom's youngest child could be 40 and the sound of a crying baby wakes them right up.


    OP was given a laundry list of options to try:

    Co-op board to handle noise
    co-op board to handle lack of noise insulation
    Earplugs
    White Noise Machine
    Fan
    Ambien
    Talking to the mom
    dropping off basket of ambesol and teething toys
    etc

    OP may or may not take any of that advice.

    Not a single person here has stated that being a parent makes them or their children special.
    Yet they keep being told that parents think that.
    A handful keep insisting the baby is 'screaming' or 'shrieking', yet the OP has said numerous times the baby is only crying.
    Obviously if the OP can hear people just moving from room to room, there is a serious lack of noise insulation in this building.


    IMO this is a big issue with a crappily constructed/insulated building rather than a "shrieking screaming" baby voice or crappy parents or even overly-touchy OP.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


    4 members found this post helpful.

  19. #199
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    Oct. 16, 2008
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    Conclusion? Nope, I didn't come to that conclusion. I consider that a very likely scenario. You don't think that is possible?



  20. #200
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    Gloria
    Conclusion? Nope, I didn't come to that conclusion. I consider that a very likely scenario. You don't think that is possible?
    It's biased assumption to support argument.

    The problem is the OP's building seems to be lacking in any noise muffling insulation.
    OP herself stated that she can hear everything the neighbors do, and that it's the early morning crying that wakes her up.
    A baby crying is not an issue. It does not automatically point to bad parenting or inconsiderate people.
    The OP's own statements show exactly what the problem is: the building construction. THAT is what needs to be addressed and people in a co-op, apartment or condo have the right to a certain level of noise reduction...and the owners of the building have the *duty* to supply it. The problem is not the baby, it's parents or even the OP.
    A parent shouldn't have to worry that their baby might cry and wake up a neighbor just as a neighbor shouldn't have to worry a baby crying a floor away will wake them up.

    Everything else is bias-expanded conjecture on either side.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


    1 members found this post helpful.

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