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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2006
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1,133

    Default WWYD? Neighbor's Crying Infant

    I live in an apartment building. When I moved in (mid-November) it was clear that neighbors above had a new infant. And an older toddler who was VERY unhappy with the situation. I gritted my teeth and bore with Jeffrey's temper tantrums every time the infant cried. My "patience" paid off and Jeffrey seemed to come to terms with his new sibling.

    [How do I know Jeffrey's name? Due to mom and dad shrieking it at the top of their lungs during said temper tantrums.]

    Well, now infant is several months older and his/her lung power is vastly increased. And infant is now crying for 15- to 30-minute periods at around 5am and again around 7.

    ETA: If they got up to actually soothe the child, that would be one thing. But... they don't. Their solution is to let him/her cry himself out.

    I want to be sympathetic, but I'm... not any more. And it's all well and good to suggest ear plugs but
    a) I forget some nights
    b) When I do remember, one or both usually falls out by the early morning.

    I am on the verge of putting a note under their door that says something like:


    Hi --

    I'm sympathetic to the travails of new parents, but please be aware that when your youngest cries, it sounds like s/he's in the room with me. I'm glad that your son is more accepting of his new sibling -- I suffered through his temper tantrums with you -- but your youngest's increased lung power makes itself apparent at about 5am and 7am every morning.

    Please be courteous to your neighbors, and recognize that being woken this way each morning -- generally twice -- is negatively impacting their lives. Sadly, the acoustics of this building is entirely out of my control.

    Thank you.

    Thoughts?
    Last edited by KayBee; Feb. 21, 2013 at 12:41 PM.


    15 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 1, 2012
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    4,899

    Default

    What do you suggest they do about a crying infant? Duct tape its mouth closed?
    "If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple payments..."


    15 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,636

    Default

    I think that's really, really rude. I'm sure they are trying there best. This is what happens when you live in an apartment building. If I was a mother of a baby who tended to cry and I had trouble soothing, I would be completely devastated, embarrassed and outraged that my neighbour would say these things to me.

    The part about suffering through her son's tantrums and happy he's accepting of his sibling? Who are you, her therapist?

    Remember your ear plugs or move where you don't have neighbours on the other side of the wall.

    Have you ever been around babies? How do you expect them to make their baby sleep so you don't get woken up and their baby crying doesn't "negatively impacts your life"?


    15 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov. 25, 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
    919

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    I live in an apartment building. When I moved in (mid-November) it was clear that neighbors above had a new infant. And an older toddler who was VERY unhappy with the situation. I gritted my teeth and bore with Jeffrey's temper tantrums every time the infant cried. My "patience" paid off and Jeffrey seemed to come to terms with his new sibling.

    [How do I know Jeffrey's name? Due to mom and dad shrieking it at the top of their lungs during said temper tantrums.]

    Well, now infant is several months older and his/her lung power is vastly increased. And infant is now crying for 15- to 30-minute periods at around 5am and again around 7.

    I want to be sympathetic, but I'm... not any more. And it's all well and good to suggest ear plugs but
    a) I forget some nights
    b) When I do remember, one or both usually falls out by the early morning.

    I am on the verge of putting a note under their door that says something like:

    Hi --

    I'm sympathetic to the travails of new parents, but please be aware that when your youngest cries, it sounds like s/he's in the room with me. I'm glad that your son is more accepting of his new sibling -- I suffered through his temper tantrums with you -- but your youngest's increased lung power makes itself apparent at about 5am and 7am every morning.

    Please be courteous to your neighbors, and recognize that being woken this way each morning -- generally twice -- is negatively impacting their lives. Sadly, the acoustics of this building is entirely out of my control.

    Thank you.

    Thoughts?
    You need to first go to your apartment manager or leasing office, and make an official complaint through them. As a tenant, it's not your responsibility to make sure your neighbors are being curteous and respectful. Make as many complaints as need be, before you write them a note that they could possibly find out comes from you.

    I feel for you, trust me. The two people (read: idiots) below me have a nasty little papillion dog that has routinely started barking around 6 or 6:30 most mornings, and also later at night. Either the people aren't home or have developed excellent methods to ignore said annoying pooch, because I don't hear them telling it to shut up. I have complained multiple times over two years and it's rarely gotten better for long lengths of time.

    I am reaching my breaking point, though; if I lose more sleep due to that damn dog, I'll tape a nasty note to their door or if I see them in the hallway, read them the riot act.

    Good luck!
    Lucy (Precious Star) - 1994 TB mare; happily reunited with her colt Touch the Stars


    14 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2001
    Location
    Almost Aiken
    Posts
    2,632

    Default

    Some babies cry a lot. Probably not much they can do right now, and I bet they're tired of it too.

    What would you like them to do about it?


    13 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr. 28, 2008
    Posts
    7,266

    Default

    I'd get a very loud sound machine.

    Apartment living sucks. I'm sure the parents don't enjoy it either. I had a colicky baby and he cried for hours every day, no matter what I did. I was attending him the whole time but besides infanticide, sometimes there's nothing you can do to get them to stop.


    25 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
    Location
    between the barn and the pond
    Posts
    14,223

    Default

    NO to the NOTE. NO NO NO.

    When you chose an apartment with people above you, you set up this scenario. Replace crier with a 300 lb middle of the night pacer wearing a size 12 steeltoed boot, and it's the same mess.

    -ask your Apt Manager if you can relocate to a top floor apt
    -ear plugs
    -ambien
    -move

    Those are your realistic options. A note is just fuel for a fire.


    18 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2005
    Location
    Va
    Posts
    2,936

    Default

    There really is no response to this post. Leave them alone. They're not doing anything wrong. It's not like a barking dog. If you're that bothered...move!


    10 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,636

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Schune View Post
    You need to first go to your apartment manager or leasing office, and make an official complaint through them. As a tenant, it's not your responsibility to make sure your neighbors are being curteous and respectful. Make as many complaints as need be, before you write them a note that they could possibly find out comes from you.

    I feel for you, trust me. The two people (read: idiots) below me have a nasty little papillion dog that has routinely started barking around 6 or 6:30 most mornings, and also later at night. Either the people aren't home or have developed excellent methods to ignore said annoying pooch, because I don't hear them telling it to shut up. I have complained multiple times over two years and it's rarely gotten better for long lengths of time.

    I am reaching my breaking point, though; if I lose more sleep due to that damn dog, I'll tape a nasty note to their door or if I see them in the hallway, read them the riot act.

    Good luck!
    A baby =/= a dog.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2006
    Location
    New York
    Posts
    1,133

    Default

    If they got up to actually soothe the child, that would be one thing. But... they don't. Their solution is to let him/her cry himself out.


    12 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,968

    Default

    If I were the neighbors and I got that note, I would blast you. Just move already. Sheesh.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,636

    Default

    How do you know that? Are you in the room with them?

    Maybe they are trying to teach their child some self soothing.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2008
    Posts
    2,701

    Default

    i feel for you, i really do, but there's no way you're going to come out the winner against parents with a child. don't even try. complain to management if you like, but it's one of the drawbacks of apartment living. just think--someone worse could move in. (the stories i could tell you about my crazy neighbors over the years...)
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
    Gravity works, and the laws of physics are a bitch.

    Member: Rabid Garden Snail Clique


    5 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,968

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by KayBee View Post
    If they got up to actually soothe the child, that would be one thing. But... they don't. Their solution is to let him/her cry himself out.
    Its part of raising a baby. My son cries for an hour between 3 and 4 am, we are trying to eliminate a middle of the night feeding per his doctor. Annoying? yes.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov. 25, 2004
    Location
    Greenville, SC
    Posts
    919

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Jazzy Lady View Post
    A baby =/= a dog.
    And I didn't say that it did. Nor did I say that I was in the exact same situation.

    I was relaying that I know how difficult it is living in apartment complexes. Also realize that I said if any action is taken, a note is not the best way to go. IF you do anything, make it official through the apartment management.
    Lucy (Precious Star) - 1994 TB mare; happily reunited with her colt Touch the Stars


    3 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
    Location
    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,936

    Default

    What Katarine said. Move to the top floor. I had a choice between top floor and first floor and though moving in was a PITA (thanks, Dad!) I am so so so glad we sucked it up. I hardly hear any noise.

    No no no to the note - they can't help the baby crying, its a baby. That is what babies do.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    5 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    7,882

    Default

    I would not leave any notes on their door. It will not help your cause and may darn well cause problems with them later on down the line. From the sounds of their yelling to discipline Jeffrey, things are only going to get louder as time goes on. I would start looking for more suitable housing for yourself, and get a couple of table fans running simultaneously in the bedroom each night to drown out as much as possible until you find a quieter place to live.
    "The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits." Albert Einstein

    http://s1098.photobucket.com/albums/...2011%20Photos/


    8 members found this post helpful.

  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2010
    Posts
    2,445

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    Meh. Maybe I'm just more rude but I would say something. You are paying a full price for rent and your quality of life is being compromised. Approach the landlord and see if it would be possible to move you to another unit. If that doesn't work then I think there is no harm in the letter. Your letter is tasteful but direct. It could be that the parents are unaware of how thin the walls are and would be more cognizant of how their screaming or allowing their child to self soothe at the wee hours of the morning is affecting their neighbors.


    54 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Sep. 29, 2009
    Posts
    2,576

    Default

    If there was somebody next door or in hearing distance with a non-stop dog or baby or whatever, I would move in a heartbeat.

    You can not tell somebody HOW to raise their child. What if the child is colicky?
    My older sister's first baby was colicky. Not much you can do.

    Save your money, and get a house.

    If I lived in a house, and the neighbors were noisey, I would move.

    These days . . . just move. Not easy, but do-able.

    Like the saying goes: if you can't stand the heat get out of the kitchen.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2011
    Location
    hunterdon, nj
    Posts
    874

    Default

    This is why I will never move into a place with a child above, below or on either side of me. You failed to ask this question before you moved in, and so now you're pretty much stuck. I would complain to the landlord. If they really are letting the baby scream for extended periods of time I would also call cps.


    7 members found this post helpful.

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