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  1. #1
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    Jan. 20, 2008
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    Default Spinoff: What is the craziest thing someone has done to get an engagement ring?

    With the other thread talking about people waiting for rings, I thought of the craziest engagement fiasco ever. IMO, anyway. Not about me, but someone I was very close friends with. After the story you will come to understand why we are not friends.

    They had been dating coming up on two years. All long distance. She is young, 23ish at the time. All we heard about for months was how he better be planning something. One day we were at work and asked what she was up to that weekend. her reply, "going ring shopping". I thought, "wonderful he asked". Turns out, not so much. She took her keeping up the the Jonses friend to pick out her ring. You know, so he knew exactly what to get. Now, I have no issue with getting what you want and giving them guidance on it. Heck, even them asking without one and picking it out together. But to have not asked, to have not talked about it, and to refuse to tell him she was going to do that. (Until she had it priced, pictures and such.)

    It gets better. They had a huge fight about him asking her and it came down to her telling him if she didn't have a ring by X date, they were done. She wasn't kidding.

    The day he asked her she was out with a friend and she was suspicious but he did enough to throw her off because she spent most of the day calling me to tell me how mad she was and that he wasn't going to ask her and how they were "so done".

    She came home to a well thought out proposal. Of course she gushed and acted like she was clueless. And, that ring, OMG how did he know.

    The wedding planning...dear lord. I see some of her talkings about it on FB and she will try to talk to me about it here and there. All about her and the wedding. Not the marriage. (Honestly, I don't think she even likes him all that much, I think she just wants the ring and wedding and the status.) She is just a down right brat bridezilla and even calls herself that. OH, and she had to upgrade her apartment from a 2 bedroom to a 3 so they had more space because she didn't want to feel "trapped" in a small apartment with him. I am sure I sound like a judgmental witch, but it really is that awful. I feel so bad for the guy but I guess he knows what he is getting into.
    Hope Blooming- Life with Chronic Pancreatitis

    My blog: Life with Pancreatitis


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  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2002
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    Oregon
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    5,738

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by SFrost View Post
    I am sure I sound like a judgmental witch, but it really is that awful.
    Yup, you do.



    I'm not saying I agree with what she did, but I don't think it's any of your concern.
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
    lies with in us. - Emerson



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
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    Default

    First, the whole genre or possibility of women doing sh!t to coerce men in asking them to marry them (at the right time, in the right way, with the right ring) is new-fangled and whack.

    But! Let me relay two family stories of ring-deals-gone-bad....that-foretold-the-relationship.

    1. My dad borrows money from my mom to buy her engagement ring. The marriage ends, but not without him not paying child support.

    2. Sister is getting serious about marrying her BF. She is white, he is black. She wants a diamond 'cause that's what you do. He says, "Do you know where diamonds come from and how they get here?" She says "No" and doesn't know why the question is a big deal to him. Fortunately, they did not get married as there were too many differences. But this was an early biggie.

    So, OP, stop listening to the whackiness at the end of the ring story. You have all the major features of the characters and the plot laid out.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2004
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    Massachusetts
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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    2. Sister is getting serious about marrying her BF. She is white, he is black. She wants a diamond 'cause that's what you do. He says, "Do you know where diamonds come from and how they get here?" She says "No" and doesn't know why the question is a big deal to him.
    .
    There are conflict-free diamonds!


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  5. #5
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    Jul. 31, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoForAGallop View Post
    There are conflict-free diamonds!
    Did not know that! Sadly, either did my sister's BF. He bought her a diamond engagement ring which she returned to him when she (or both of them?) called it off. But she also didn't believe him when he went in to get a hotel room somewhere in AZ and felt the proprietors giving him the stink-eye for trying to rent a room while being black.

    As I told her at the time, she'd have to learn a whole lot about racism (which wasn't a big part of our white-n-liberal lives) if she were going to have this guy as her husband. IMO, she would have owed him that much because it was part of his experience, even if it was wrong or not part of hers.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 20, 2008
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    625

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    Oh no, I don't listen to her as we aren't "friends" anymore. Trust me, I've got more important things to worry about. But the snarky person in me comes out every now and again and likes to talk about these tales of crazy ring demanding Bridzillas.
    Hope Blooming- Life with Chronic Pancreatitis

    My blog: Life with Pancreatitis


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2000
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    MA
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    I never got an engagement ring, nor did I want one.
    God's honest truth, I don't even recall what day I got married.
    I only know it was in October.
    "It's like a Russian nesting doll of train wrecks."--CaitlinandTheBay

    ...just settin' on the Group W bench.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb. 4, 2006
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    If you have to do anything to get an engagement ring...YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
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    Jan. 20, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by Dazednconfused View Post
    If you have to do anything to get an engagement ring...YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
    100% agree. But there seem to be a large number of women who think that us the craziest thing they have ever heard.
    Hope Blooming- Life with Chronic Pancreatitis

    My blog: Life with Pancreatitis



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
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    I never got an engagement ring, nor did I want one.
    God's honest truth, I don't even recall what day I got married.
    I only know it was in October.
    Yay! I'm not the only one! My anniversary is in August. Late August IIRC. That's about as close as I usually get, LOL!

    I know a hilarious engagement ring fiasco. The sister of a friend of mine was pressuring her BF for a ring years ago. She went so far as to mention repeatedly it had better be a special ring, a fancy ring, a ring like nobody else in town had. (her way of "subtle" suggestion for a large diamond without actually demanding a large diamond)
    Well her BF was a romantic, thoughtful guy who actually did remember past conversations and what his GF liked. Unfortunately for his GF, he remembered that she said once that when she was little she LOVED frogs and collected them. Frog pictures, frog figurines, etc. So he had a custom ring made: a yellow gold frog head with emeralds in the eyes and a diamond on it's mouth!
    They've been married for years now and are happy together. But she *was* horrified when she saw that ring. Gotta give her credit though, she forced a smile and accepted it! She only wears her wedding band daily, but for "special times" she does take it out and wear it for her husband. I finally saw it at a Christmas party, the expression of the frog looks like this: Just picture green sparkly eyes and a diamond in the mouth. And it ain't little...ring goes from knuckle to knuckle and the diamond is a carat! She laughs now, but still won't wear it daily. Tells her husband it's too special to risk damaging. And it is special...ain't another like it! And he was romantic as heck having that made, even if he didn't realize she no longer collected frogs. But dear Lordy is that thing ugly!

    So yeah, watch what you wish/demand for!
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


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  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 2011
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    1,095

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    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    Did not know that! Sadly, either did my sister's BF. He bought her a diamond engagement ring which she returned to him when she (or both of them?) called it off. But she also didn't believe him when he went in to get a hotel room somewhere in AZ and felt the proprietors giving him the stink-eye for trying to rent a room while being black.

    As I told her at the time, she'd have to learn a whole lot about racism (which wasn't a big part of our white-n-liberal lives) if she were going to have this guy as her husband. IMO, she would have owed him that much because it was part of his experience, even if it was wrong or not part of hers.
    As a white girl in a serious relationship with a black man, I have had to learn this same lesson. Racism wasn't a part of my life before my SO, but I now realize it is alive and well.

    As for engagement rings...well, I'm one of the girls waiting for one, but not going to any drastic measures. Some women intentionally get pregnant so their BFs will marry them though.
    "A horse gallops with his lungs, perseveres with his heart, and wins with his character." - Tesio



  12. #12
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    NorthEast
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    Worst reason to get pregnant, but you're right that it's not uncommon.

    I definitely understand that sometimes a discussion or hint isn't a bad thing. It's not fair to pressure someone for a ring, but it's also not fair to string someone along if you have different goals either.

    And then there's the dreamers..."I'm not accepting anything under 5 carats!" Okay, good luck with that.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec. 29, 1999
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    Harrisburg, PA USA
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    MistyBlue, I LOFF the frog-ring story!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2004
    Posts
    2,355

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    mmmm I didn't hint, didn't say anything except I need to study for an exam... Do not recall even saying yes. It just kinda happened. 28yrs later still together, guess we are doing something right.
    Friend of bar .ka



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2012
    Posts
    282

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    Oh goodness! It's so sad when people treat the wedding/engagement as the highlight, what a disappointment the marriage will be! I didn't feel any different, except for this new closeness to my husband, and it's something only married people so far have understood when I talk about it *shrug*

    Ah, well my 18 year old knocked up niece recently got engaged to her abusive baby daddy. She knew when, had to give him the ring and everything. He forgot that night at dinner, so the next day he went out ring shopping. He got the ring, took off the certification tag to give it to her, remembered he had to buy tires for her truck ($500 which is what he spent on the ring), went to go return it, they wouldn't let him (duh, no certification tag!) and he threw it at the glass counter and shattered it then stormed out.

    Uh.... (and FYI, I'm not speaking to her currently, this is all through my mom! Because my own sister disowned her.)



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2012
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    Crestview, Fl
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    I didn't get an engagement, my husband told me over the phone "You know we're getting married right?" And it was done 3 months later after I finished basic training! I couldn't be more in love with him and as a surprise valentines gift about 2 years later he purchased a past preset and future ring that matched my wedding band, it means so much more to me than an "engagement" ring.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2005
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    The Prairie
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    Quote Originally Posted by Ghazzu View Post
    I never got an engagement ring, nor did I want one.
    God's honest truth, I don't even recall what day I got married.
    I only know it was in October.
    I didn't either. When DH and I got engaged I said I would rather have a horse than a ring. Got a WB mare and next summer we will be starting her grandson. I do, however, remember the day we married. It was during a horse show and I rode really well the next day!
    I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.



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