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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov. 24, 2006
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    1,248

    Default At what age did you let your daughter "date"?

    I'm not really talking, hop in a car and go to a movie date. More like being able to hang out with a boy that you know is her "boyfriend". LOL and by "hang out" I mean, at my house with adult supervision!!
    Kerri



  2. #2
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    Mar. 3, 2007
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    North-Central IL
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    21 My mother lucked out, nobody liked me, ha! I would think, at your house and under your supervision... 14 maybe? I was pretty much "allowed" at 16 because I had a car.
    Quarry Rat



  3. #3
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    May. 5, 2008
    Location
    Scranton, PA
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    I had my first boyfriend when I was 2 months shy of 16.
    It lasted 4 months before I decided my horse was much better than a boy and shamelessly dumped my senior in high school boyfriend. poor guy. He really was nice. I was just young and kind of uninterested.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun. 12, 2007
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    CT
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    Default

    8th or 9th grade, so 13/14.



  5. #5
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    Jul. 14, 2000
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    midwest
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    Default

    Ours were 15 before that was allowed. Up until age 16 they could do "group" things related to school events. At 16 they could date but the date had to stay in the county- we live rural and driving up to the city wasn't an option. The second daughter competed in rodeo and rodeo queen events through High School so that kept her calendar full and me in her world. The oldest daughter just plain wasn't interested in dating but she did have a nice group of friends she did fun things with.



  6. #6
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    Jul. 20, 2007
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    Rising Sun, MD
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    Default

    I don't have a daughter, but I had a BF once I was in high school (so 14 for me). I'm not sure if it was so much an "allow" thing but a "I am out of the tiny private school so the potential for dating is now there". We didn't hang out at my house (we lived an hour away from each other though) but our parents did do things like drop us off at the movies or his parents would drop him off at one of my horse shows. My brothers all started dating when they were in middle school-
    “While the rest of the species is descended from apes, redheads are descended from cats.” Mark Twain



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2003
    Posts
    2,653

    Default

    I have sons, and one is 21, but they are allowed to go out at 16 - proms and such. Movies and bowling things would be ok. Studying is fine at my or the girl's home, if her parents are home. Grades must be kept up for the privilege.

    There's no sense in encouraging young folk to go steady when they need to get an education to survive these days.

    My older son has been interested in one girl since 8th grade - I was lucky in that her father, a Lebanese immigrant, was even more protective of her than I was of my son. We kept those two in line. They still go out with one another - I wonder where that relationship will go. I do like her and her family. Good folks. I hope my son does right by her, and that I've taught him well...
    Don't tell me about what you can't do. That's boring. Show me what you can do. - Mom


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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Nov. 5, 2002
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    way out west
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    3,212

    Default

    16. Same for my son.



  9. #9
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    Aug. 25, 2008
    Location
    Florida
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    15 she could do group dates, but no solo dates till she was 16. It seemed to work out pretty well because she wasn't that interested. I don't know what I would have done if she HAD been boy-focused, though. I wouldn't have changed my mind, but it would have been a lot bigger pain in the neck. Fortunately she didn't mind me dragging her with me to the barn every night and all day on weekends. By the time she was done riding she was too tired. That's my motto (works for dogs, too) - keep 'em too tired to date! By the way, she's 18 now and has a serious boyfriend, so I don't know that it did that much to keep her from getting "too serious, too soon," but he IS a very nice boy and they did take things very slowly, so...



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 11, 2007
    Location
    Montana
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    5,626

    Default

    I can remember going to a movie with a guy in 9th grade, our parent dropped us off. After that I started driving and so it was up to me. My parents were horribly unattentive so I was able to do whatever I wanted by the time I started driving.

    Kas I figure my daughter who is a little behind yours as you know, is ok to do that when the situation shows up at this point, 13-ish. I can't see keeping them apart out of school when all they have to do is go to a school function and call it a date. Running wild unattended not so much but controlled circumstances probably is what you have to do.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2007
    Location
    TX
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    At 16, my BF and I were talking pre-college courses in the evenings and he was dropping me several days a week home late at night.
    Since some nosey neighbors didn't know that, they were sure to snitch to our parents that I was coming home "late" with my BF.
    Our parents really didn't care, we were supposed to be grown up enough to be sensible and we were.
    I don't remember ever asking or being told when to be home or anyone getting worried about it.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul. 25, 2003
    Location
    Boston Area
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    8,482

    Default

    My daughter is 14 and she is allowed to go on dates to movies, etc. She mostly goes in a group but she did have a BF over the summer and they spent time at each of our houses. I guess it depends on the kids involved. Her BF was a sweet kid who was probably terrified of her and his family was very strict. I never worried much about them. On the flip side, she's not allowed to go to any boy's home, even as a group, if their parents are not home. And I check!
    Equine Ink - My soapbox for equestrian writings & reviews.
    EquestrianHow2 - Operating instructions for your horse.



  13. #13
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    Sep. 2, 2008
    Location
    Greeley, Colorado
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    I didn't have my first real boyfriend until I was 19, but that didn't have anything to do with my parents. I was the homebody horsey kid. I was always allowed to go out in groups with boys from the time I was 13 and up. My parents trusted me and I valued their trust too much to do something stupid. However, I do realize most kids aren't like I was. I would take it on a case by case basis.
    **Friend of bar.ka**

    Fils Du Reverdy (Revy)- 1993 Selle Francais Gelding
    My equine soulmate



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 27, 2012
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    19

    Default

    I guess I am the oddball here. I was allowed to start "dating" guys in 8th grade. 13 years old. I was allowed to go on dates or have them over at the house or vice versa. I grew up mostly having guy friends so I think it was just a normal thing. When I got into high school, my mom started to get very protective about me going over to my boyfriend's house.He was a junior and I was a freshman. My mom and I stopped being close because I felt like she didn't trust me anymore. After not telling her about anything boyfriend related, she gave up when she realized I was being responsible. It did put a rift in our mom/daughter relationship for a while though.After this, at age 15 I could go anywhere I wanted with whoever I wanted because she trusted me to make good decisions. There should be no "age" on dating. It should be based on maturity. When you start trying to dictate your daughter's dating life, you are going to cause her to hide things from you and that is going to get her into more trouble because she can't come to you. See the vicious cycle? Flame me if you want to but you shouldnt be asking this on a forum. If you trust your daughter to do the right thing and talk to you about anything regarding relationships, then everything will be fine. If you don't feel this way then maybe you need to work on an open relationship.


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  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct. 5, 2008
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    The Wild West
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    621

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    Quote Originally Posted by kasjordan View Post
    I'm not really talking, hop in a car and go to a movie date. More like being able to hang out with a boy that you know is her "boyfriend". LOL and by "hang out" I mean, at my house with adult supervision!!
    Oh my, this is hard. Some girls think they're on a "date" when the boy doesn't think so. And vice versa. A real date? Any time they want to hang out. I'd much rather it happen under my roof then off somewhere else because nothing's gonna happen under my roof. I leave them (mostly) alone but I know what's going on and I know the kids aren't going to do anything if I'm home. I always wanted them to feel comfy at home with this rather than feel they had to go sneak off. Sneaking off = bad.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2012
    Posts
    282

    Default

    Well, anytime I "dated", I always brought the guy to the barn to ride and help me groom and such LOL. If boys were over at the house, my mom had an open door policy, she still does, and I'm married! I was a super honest kid, so I told her everything. My first real boyfriend happened when I was 18, and 4 1/2 years later were married.

    I was that nerdy horse chick.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Feb. 17, 2007
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    My very own sliver of heaven.
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    1,318

    Default

    I had my first boyfriend at 12/13 (dated for almost a year) and we would do things like go to the mall or the movies or to school dances. He hung out at my house a lot (my family really liked him) and we went out to dinner on Friday nights. We lived in separate towns (we met on a boat in the Galapagos; turned out he lived two towns over from me in Massachusetts) so we mostly saw each other on the weekends. My parents had no problem with him being at my house (or me at his) and we were left to our own devices. I was raised in a very alternative fashion and allowed to make my own decisions because my parents trusted that I would make the right ones. I always did We broke up before we both went to boarding school.

    My second BF was from 15-18 and someone that I was pretty serious about; the same conditions applied. He would often stay over when my parents were away for the weekend and instead of going to Senior Prom, my parents sent us to Martha's Vineyard for 5 days to "get away" after finals. They never asked if we were sexually active, but instead trusted that I was well-informed and a bright young woman who would make good, safe decisions. It worked very much in their favor. I don't know if I would have been so conscientious or chosen to wait until I was 18 and out of their house if it wasn't *my* decision. Every child is different, for sure, but I really appreciated the amount of trust my parents placed in me and my decisions!
    Nine out of ten times, you'll get it wrong...but it's that tenth time that you get it right that makes all the difference.


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  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2006
    Location
    Fort Worth, Texas
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    4,701

    Default

    We have two daughters, the oldest was dating at 15, youngest at 25?

    Pay back is sweet, oldest daughter married at 26 and now has twin five year old daughters

    Both of our daughters were recruited to be teenage models so neither are dogs



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov. 24, 2006
    Posts
    1,248

    Default

    You guys have made it a bit easier, she's 13-will be 14 in August. I think she's way ahead of me when I was her age, I wasn't interested until about 16. She's still very interested in her horse (we keep them at home now) and still does tons with her girlfriends. I'm allowing her to have him over as long as there's an adult there or about to be there. You eased my mind a bit about my decision ;-)
    And the one who stated I shouldn't be asking this question on a forum and because of such- need to work on a more open relationship...I think you might have Mommy issues lol.
    Kerri



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar. 11, 2007
    Location
    Montana
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    5,626

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by horseluvr222 View Post
    I guess I am the oddball here. I was allowed to start "dating" guys in 8th grade. 13 years old. I was allowed to go on dates or have them over at the house or vice versa. I grew up mostly having guy friends so I think it was just a normal thing. When I got into high school, my mom started to get very protective about me going over to my boyfriend's house.He was a junior and I was a freshman. My mom and I stopped being close because I felt like she didn't trust me anymore. After not telling her about anything boyfriend related, she gave up when she realized I was being responsible. It did put a rift in our mom/daughter relationship for a while though.After this, at age 15 I could go anywhere I wanted with whoever I wanted because she trusted me to make good decisions. There should be no "age" on dating. It should be based on maturity. When you start trying to dictate your daughter's dating life, you are going to cause her to hide things from you and that is going to get her into more trouble because she can't come to you. See the vicious cycle? Flame me if you want to but you shouldnt be asking this on a forum. If you trust your daughter to do the right thing and talk to you about anything regarding relationships, then everything will be fine. If you don't feel this way then maybe you need to work on an open relationship.
    If only you knew how far off the mark you were on this one... you would delete and apologize. Maybe someone out there resembles this remark but it doesn't apply to the OP. Shouldn't project; shouldn't jump to conclusions.



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