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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2007
    Location
    Heaven on Earth--Sonoma County, CA
    Posts
    1,478

    Default Potty Training (human) help

    So I have met my first parenting challenge that I have yet to conquer LOL!

    DS is just turned 3. I tried potty training over the summer when he was 2 1/2 via the "pants less outdoors" method. I think I came on too strong because after about four days he would cry and try to flee when the topic of using the potty came up. So I backed off, and am now trying again.

    His pre-school teacher suggested doing underwear with plastic bloomers over the top. We're on day three and now have awareness (mommy I just peed!) but he appears to be working very hard not to use the potty. I've been puttin him on it every 40 minutes or so, and he has now several times clearly held it while on the potty and gone in his pants within 5 minutes of leaving the potty.

    We are currently offering bribes of Girl Scout cookies for any good performance, and he gets "special books" read to him when we're sitting on the potty.

    He has been and is truly the easiest kiddo. I can't figure out how I screwed this up so badly, but nothing has been anywhere near this tough! Hell, he was sleeping 5 hours from birth and making it through the night by 3 mos!

    Any words of wisdom?
    Phoenix Farm ~ Breeding-Training-Sales
    Eventing, Dressage, Young Horses
    www.phoenixsporthorses.com
    Check out my new blog: http://califcountrymom.blogspot.com



  2. #2

    Default

    I am no expert, DS is just barely 3 and we are working on it too. But he's been pooping in the potty only for two weeks now, so here's what worked for us. I got the bjorn seat that sits on top of the toilet, and the stool. He almost always poops in the morning, so I started taking his pants and diaper off, putting the tv on and told him "you're not wearing a diaper so if you need to go to the bathroom please go in the potty". Then I leave and go get ready or do something else and just leave him alone. He will call for me to help him wipe but otherwise I think he just needed me to back off a little. Now he's wearing pull-ups and I can't get him to stop and tell me when he needs to pee but I realized that he is figuring it out and I don't want to put too much pressure on him.
    I think the best thing to do is to be encouraging but not pushy. I know people do that three day/weekend method but I really don't think my son could handle that kind of pressure. I'd rather just take it slow. Good luck!!



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2006
    Posts
    1,302

    Default

    The potty watch did it for us. You can get them on eBay for around $10



  4. #4
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2001
    Location
    Finally home in CO
    Posts
    396

    Default

    OP, he may be afraid of the potty. It took our DS forever to be potty trained. He would hide, cry, etc. If I could get him on the potty nothing would happen.
    Things to think about are: fear, family history ( how easily did your DH potty train, how easily did you potty train), maturity. It is not the be all to end all to have a child potty trained by 2 1/2 to 3. Be patient and kind



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2007
    Location
    Heaven on Earth--Sonoma County, CA
    Posts
    1,478

    Default

    I have the bjorn seat and stool (honestly he's too tall for the little kid potty) and just ordered the potty watch, thanks for these thoughts.

    I guess I'm feeling panicky because everything else he's so good with. Great reports from school, puts his things away when asked, feeds "his" pets, etc.

    We will persevere and go slow :-).
    Phoenix Farm ~ Breeding-Training-Sales
    Eventing, Dressage, Young Horses
    www.phoenixsporthorses.com
    Check out my new blog: http://califcountrymom.blogspot.com



  6. #6
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2001
    Location
    Finally home in CO
    Posts
    396

    Default

    Our DS was/is wonderful and easy easy easy; even as a teenager! His teachers loved him, they still do.

    He is now 18 and a senior in high school and college bound.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    3,470

    Default

    I'm no help...I left it to both my boys to be sick and tired of diapers and wet pants and they wanted to be done, right around threeish. Hands off method worked for us, they asked to use the toilet.

    MANY years ago (my oldest is now about to be 23) we had this video (VHS!)..it showed kids using the potty and the song went:

    Tra la la boom dee yay!
    I did a poop today!
    Right in my potty chair,
    Now wear underwear!

    My oldest found it inspiring . We still laugh about it.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
    Location
    NorthEast
    Posts
    24,480

    Default

    For a boy? Cheerios and M&Ms.
    Keep a tupperware bowl of both in the bathroom. (so you can seal it)
    Every hour, bring him into the bathroom, open Cheerios and drop one in the toilet. If he hits it and drowns it, he gets an M&M.

    Game, Goal, Reward.

    Fun, straight forward, no stress, no excessive explaining or talking. Little kids don't do conversations, reasoning, etc as well as they do Fun, Game, Goal, Reward.

    And every hour. Not "but my show is on" or "I'm on the phone/computer"...nope, stop and go to the bathroom with junior for the Cheerio M&M game.

    If a puppy can be housebroken in a week or two, a human child certainly can. And they are. Don't overthink, over-accessorize, over-analyze and over-explain it to the little guy. No conversation, just go, game, reward and he goes back to playing. No big deal. Making it a huge deal all the time can be stressful.

    (and I in no way mean to compare any child to any pet, just an example )
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


    4 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,937

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Essie View Post
    Our DS was/is wonderful and easy easy easy; even as a teenager! His teachers loved him, they still do.

    He is now 18 and a senior in high school and college bound.
    Yes, but is he potty trained? You didn't specify.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat


    6 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 18, 2003
    Location
    Davidsonville, MD
    Posts
    2,695

    Default

    My twin boys are now 3 1/2 and one was super easy (was basically potty trained in about 2 weeks using M&Ms). His slightly younger brother otoh....oy. We started in the summer and they were bottomless all day every day for a full weekend. We had two potties in our living room so they never had far to go. We had them pee standing up (reluctant son peed on his feet the first time and that totally freaked him out). Very rarely had messes around the potty - they learned pretty quick how to aim. One, of course, would swear he didn't have to go and then secretly pee behind the sofa. I had to bribe him with a new Thomas train - he only got it if he went in the potty all day and never in his pants - once he figured out that it wasn't so bad, he was great. Even after commando weekend, they were usually naked inside and without underwear outside all summer long. Reluctant son only recently (maybe the last 2 months?) stated going poo in the potty. Otherwise he'd wait until he had a diaper on to go...and sometimes just in his pants (blech). He'd hold it for DAYS and then of course be constipated so it would hurt. It took a lot of cajoling to get him to calm down while on the potty. I did get a book called, "I Can't, I Won't, No Way!" that I actually think *really* helped. We read it a few times and you could practically hear the wheels turning in his head.

    We are now working on nighttime training - they have dry diapers in the morning about 5 days a week. Good luck!!
    Erin
    Dodon Farm - Home of Salute The Truth, Thoroughbred Stallion and on Facebook
    The Retired Racehorse Training Project, a 501(c)3 Non profit organization.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2004
    Location
    San Antonio
    Posts
    280

    Default

    For my son we did naked...completely naked whenever we were home...it took a few extra days because we were only home for a few hours the first two days. I sat on the bathroom floor with him for hours, reading books, video game manuals, anything he wanted. He was terrified of peeing not in a diaper. Just would not. Once he got over that hump he was pretty easy to train, we just stayed consistent. He had to be completely naked though, after a few days of being ok he got to start wearing a shirt. Then after another week he would wear underwear.

    Just stay consistent and don't get mad/frustrated/upset. If he seems a little scared I would probably wait another month or two before trying again. Also, try different potties. We had an awesome cheer for me potty that sang and talked that we thought Logan would love, but he hated it. Would not sit on it. Then we discovered he liked his friend's potty. He would at least sit on it but it was another 6 months before we would really tackle potty training.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2010
    Posts
    4,067

    Default

    "Hell, he was sleeping 5 hours from birth and making it through the night by 3 mos!"

    You are one lucky mom!!!!


    As for potty training, my only piece of advice is do not go to Home Depot right after you get your child out of diapers. One family I read about in Reader's Digest said that they lost their daughter in the store during a routine trip. As they frantically ran about the store trying to find her there hear a loud high-pitched voice say: "Mommy! Come wipe me!!!"

    Their daughter had to go and wandered off to where the toilets were on display. I will let your imagine fill in the rest of the story...yes this is true.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2001
    Location
    Finally home in CO
    Posts
    396

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post
    Yes, but is he potty trained? You didn't specify.
    Lol, yes we finally got it done. The night piece was awful, but we made it! To date it was the hardest bit of parenting we have done.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Apr. 28, 2008
    Posts
    7,242

    Default

    I would wait him out. Mine is 3.5 and until 2 months ago was adamantly against the potty. So I backed off until one day he wanted to try. Then he was potty trained in a day. He tells me when he needs to go, no hourly tied to the toilet difficulties.

    The smart ones are often late trainers according to my child psychologist professor friend, as they apply their interest in power struggles to the potty. You can't actually make a child go on the toilet and they know this. They have to want to stay clean more than they want to test your limits. I would rather change diapers than clean up accidents so I was willing to wait him out. (which is not, of course, to imply that all smart kids are late trainers or that very bright children do not also sometimes train early...just to note to OP that she should not be concerned this is a developmental delay.)

    FWIW, you have to also go by the child with your response. Mine refused to potty if I acted excited about it. When he trained he would look at me before going and say "no cheering, Mommy.". Ok, whatever.
    Last edited by fordtraktor; Feb. 19, 2013 at 07:30 AM.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15

    Default

    I haven't had to potty train a kid yet but I have heard this lady recommended. http://www.jamieglowacki.com/
    for more Joy then you can handle
    http://dangerbunny.blogspot.com/



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    16,856

    Default

    I had it easy. DD's friend told her she was a baby because she was still wearing diapers. Presto dry all day and night. I did have to bribe her with a Barbie car to get her to poop in the potty though.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Mar. 31, 2004
    Location
    Upper Peninsula, Michigan
    Posts
    2,094

    Default

    My son was 18 months or so when he started showing interest in the potty. So I thought "why the hell not?!" My mom was freaked out though so I took it easy and I'm glad we did.

    I just let him go pants-less... and when he'd invariably pee on the floor I'd say "oh you peed! We pee on the potty!" or some variation of that.

    Pretty soon he would say "pee" when he was peeing so I'd go to "Uhoh, we pee on the potty!" or "Pee on the potty next time!" I was never yelling or condemning just the same tone I'd do if he spilled dry cereal on the floor or dropped something harmless or whatever.

    Helps that he really likes to please. But once he figured out what "pee" was it was like a lightbulb. Within a couple of days he was 100% peeing on the potty. Every time (and EVERY TIME) he'd go, we'd say "WOW! YOU MADE PEE!" and get all totally excited. Then a big deal about dumping his little potty into the big one and flushing etc. (He loves flushing). For a while he'd pee a little, wait for the "WOW!" and then we'd ask him if he could make more, and he would pee a little, then stop, repeat. He likes the "WOW!"

    We didn't do it every day, all day. We did half days or no days, depending on my mood. :-)

    We did no treats or bribes. (I didn't think he'd get it at 18 months).

    Pooping took a little longer. We'd sit and read with him if he wanted to sit on his potty but mostly that just requires privacy... we have to let him go on his own time without watching him.

    Now he's almost 2 and still potty trained only when naked. We are working on underwear. I'm not stressing. Seems like he just forgets when he's got his pants on. So I"ll remind him "We don't pee in our underwear! Take them off first" (which he needs help doing).

    Some days he asks for a diaper. Some days for underwear.

    I know that he'll be trained eventually. I know that we can be diaper free (and pants free) at home. He's asked to pee on the potty out in public a few times and that's a PITA!

    Every kid gets it eventually. I'd take it slow, not force it, not make it a big deal. It's a pretty regular part of life for all adults and that is how we approached it.

    Maybe give him a little space and autonomy? If he knows when he has to go and can hold it, maybe he just needs less parental involvement at this point?



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2005
    Location
    The Prairie
    Posts
    5,425

    Default

    A lot of boys aren't potty trained until 3.5. You can wait until it warms up and go pantless again. I think it can be worse if you start, stop etc.

    My advice..back off for now. Wait until it is warmer. Pick a long weekend and open up the schedule. This is "potty training weekend" and all will revolve around the potty and all the cool treats DS can pick from the special Potty Treat Bucket if you use the potty. Extra special treats for a poop.

    Try not to compare to other kids as all will be ready at different times and all will eventually be trained.
    I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan. 14, 2005
    Location
    Aiken SC / Fay NC
    Posts
    5,367

    Default

    Why in the hell are kids scared of the toilet?

    I keep hearing parent-friends say this, but really, just put the kid in it and flush. Simple.
    FREE TACK/APPAREL ADS: BITS AND BARTER BOARD: http://bitsandbarter.proboards.com/i...ay&thread=5450



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2001
    Location
    Raleigh
    Posts
    627

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by PhoenixFarm View Post
    So I have met my first parenting challenge that I have yet to conquer LOL!

    DS is just turned 3. I tried potty training over the summer when he was 2 1/2 via the "pants less outdoors" method. I think I came on too strong because after about four days he would cry and try to flee when the topic of using the potty came up. So I backed off, and am now trying again.

    His pre-school teacher suggested doing underwear with plastic bloomers over the top. We're on day three and now have awareness (mommy I just peed!) but he appears to be working very hard not to use the potty. I've been puttin him on it every 40 minutes or so, and he has now several times clearly held it while on the potty and gone in his pants within 5 minutes of leaving the potty.

    We are currently offering bribes of Girl Scout cookies for any good performance, and he gets "special books" read to him when we're sitting on the potty.

    He has been and is truly the easiest kiddo. I can't figure out how I screwed this up so badly, but nothing has been anywhere near this tough! Hell, he was sleeping 5 hours from birth and making it through the night by 3 mos!

    Any words of wisdom?

    Be sure that your "bribes" (which are actually officially considered to be "promises," as they occur as a reward that is stated prior to the behavior occurring - "if you pee in the potty, then you get a girl scout cookie"), are only available to him for potty performance. He ONLY is able to get girl scout cookies after peeing in the potty, and he doesn't get access to them at any other time. This assures that he will not become satiated on the item, and will not think "Oh I will just get that cookie later after dinner anyway." Also, be sure that its something that he is REALLY motivated for.

    When I potty train kids for work, first we take general data on when they are wet vs. dry, then we basically load them up with juice and take them every 15-30 minutes, depending on their baseline data, hoping to catch them at a time when they have to go, and then we give them their "potty reinforcer," which is available only after going potty.


    Good Luck!!



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