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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

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    As an IT person, I do NOT want to know you login and PW. Not my best friend, not my father, not my husband. No. I dang near got fired once after being accused of going through someone's email after he had given me his login/pw to install some software. NEVER AGAIN.

    Don't want to know.

    And yet, people (like my husband) seem so willing to hand this stuff out!

    I know his general login and pw to everything. He actually asks me to check stuff for him. I HATE IT. I do not share my login and pws with anyone. Ever.

    I just don't want to know. I don't.

    The worst thing I'm likely to see in my husband's email is something from his ex. But still, I don't even want to see THAT!

    And the worst he's likely to see in my email is a raunchy forward from a friend. But still. No thanks.

    If it works for everyone, fine. But if I were a friend of your friend, I would sure want to know because in that case, I would never send her anything private that I didn't want her husband to know about. To me, when you give someone access to your stuff, you're not just giving them access to your info but potentially other peoples' stuff that they would otherwise assume was safe with you.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Dec. 29, 2012
    Location
    La La Land
    Posts
    724

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    DH and I have no secrets, this is what works for us. Not for everybody. I dont think people are weird that do things differently, I think they are different than us. However I would not hand over passwords and such to a guy I was merely dating. Get real.
    As far as bathroom privacy we are polite, but sometimes things happen. There have been times when my pain was so great, he had to undress me and put me in the tub to soak. Then stay with me to make sure I was ok. Then dress me and carry me to bed. Who am I to begrudge him use of the toliet durring my shower if the need is urgent. Things happen.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2004
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    4,023

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    DH and I are in our late 20s, have been together since 20, and we do not know each others' passwords or check the others' email, text messages, or FB. Never have and never will. I think it's ridiculous. IMO, it comes down to trust. If I didn't trust him, or he me, why would we even be together, let alone married? The day I feel I have to keep tabs on him by checking email, FB, or texts? Is the day I will file for divorce, because I refuse to do it. I value my privacy and so does he.
    Caitlin
    *OMGiH I Loff my Mare* and *My Saddlebred Can Do Anything Your Horse Can Do*
    http://community.webshots.com/user/redmare01



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
    Location
    The rocky part of KY
    Posts
    9,507

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    I must be wierd. DH and I use the same email. I had my own to use to email him from here but once we combined the households again I just kept it as a junk email addy. I have a Fb and he doesn't, but it's logged in all the time. We've been married 31 years. Still, I don't go through his wallet and we rarely use the bathroom at the same time.
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jul. 11, 2000
    Location
    Way down south in the land of Sugar Cane
    Posts
    986

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    Married almost 20 years and I guess we are in the minority because we have one e-mail account that we share. My facebook is basically his facebook because he does not want to open his own account and I am 'friends' with a lot of his family and friends.

    As for bathrooms, we each have our own so no conflicts there!

    While first dating I do think password privacy would be a must until the relationship becomes somewhat 'long term'.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 2005
    Location
    Spring, TX
    Posts
    495

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    My husband and I have been together 12+ years. I check his email daily, mostly for work related reasons. We have always had each other's passwords.
    We don't consider it a big deal.
    We use the restroom in front of each other too, and have since day one. Nothing secret or special about peeing. If he's grunting and making weird faces, that's my cue to leave, but other than that, no big deal for us.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
    Location
    between the barn and the pond
    Posts
    14,495

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    We were a family of five with one tiny bathroom. Once you knew 'they' were behind the shower curtain you could scoot in, brush your teeth, wash your face, etc .Kids showered at night, Mom, too, and Dad in the AM for the most part. We just had a system, if you were showering you'd say "I'm rinsing my hair' or whatever to advise them to wrap it up LOL.

    Now I don't mind DH brushing his teeth or whatnot while I shower but he would never 'grunt' with an audience. Good God a Mighty. Shut and lock the door, done. If you only have one BA, plan ahead!

    Oh, email? We have access to each other's, but we're married and I help him craft work related emails from time to time, so it's nice that my fun email and his work email are both gmail accounts, makes it easy to swap roles. NBD.



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Feb. 3, 2000
    Location
    Nokesville, VA
    Posts
    35,306

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    Quote Originally Posted by Kadenz View Post
    I was having a conversation with a friend recently, and she mentioned that her boyfriend had access to her email account.
    Did he give her HIS password? or is this one-way "sharing?
    Janet

    chief feeder and mucker for Music, Spy, Belle and Tiara. Someone else is now feeding and mucking for Chief and Brain (both foxhunting now).



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    33,598

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    I know DH's password, he knows mine.
    I hardly ever check his email, I am sure he never has looked at mine.

    But then again, we have been married for 20 years....
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Nov. 5, 2002
    Location
    way out west
    Posts
    3,212

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    When my husband died I did know all of his passwords to all of his accounts, and it sure saved me a ton of trouble trying to sort everything out. We had separate checking accounts, separate email accounts, joint investments, but several insurance policies. By having access to his email, both personal and business, I was able to expedite everything.

    We'd been married 23 years when he died.



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2006
    Posts
    900

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    I know all of my husband's passwords and vice versa (I think...I have mostly the same/similar password in use, whether or not, he remembers it is a different story!).

    But despite the fact we use the same computer, we rarely look at each other's facebooks, email, etc. Just boring stuff & I trust him to do what's best, so why snoop?

    But, I like having things open so if I did die (or get injured or whatever), he could have access to my contacts, etc.

    After my FIL died suddenly last year and we had zero idea what his information was (and MIL was as useless as a rock), it was a headache. We wanted to remove personal info before returning his work phone & computer, notify his employer of his death, etc...ya know, important things. And heck, my MIL didn't even know his SS number and I had to find a way around the password protected computer just so I could pull up an old tax return program to find the SS #...

    So, if you have everything locked, make sure the information is accessible to your spouse (or family or whatever), in case you won't be there to help them out.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
    Join Date
    Jun. 9, 2005
    Location
    Unionville, PA
    Posts
    3,666

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alagirl View Post
    I know DH's password, he knows mine.
    I hardly ever check his email, I am sure he never has looked at mine.

    But then again, we have been married for 20 years....
    Same here. We occasionally check each others work mail for each other. I'm not sure I know his other email pw (but I could probably figure it out!). I also go into his wallet and he goes into my purse to get cash. Oh the horrors!
    Delaware Park Canter Volunteer
    http://www.canterusa.org/



  13. #33
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2007
    Location
    Jasper, GA
    Posts
    2,148

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    34 years married. Know each other's passwords, share a business, our passion is horses and yes, bathrooms are shared too. He is my life - and I am his. What others do is their business, but for us - being totally transparent works.
    Luistano Stallion standing for 2013: Wolverine UVF
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IZPHDzgX3s


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2012
    Posts
    282

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    I'm an open book, I'm honest to a fault! I tell my husband *eveything*, and for goodness sakes I'm a "home nudist", so really *nothing* is hidden from him, LOL. Last week I had a hot dream I was cheating on him, and as soon as I woke up I woke him up and told him about it. (I felt guilty )

    However my husband is very private, which bothers me only because it's 180 from me. However twice my gut told me check text messages or email, and my gut was right both times. Ex girlfriends had sent nasty pics or texts, and I know he just wanted it to go away and not turn into anything further, so I have now banned two exes from contact with him. (I'm totally cool with exes normally.)

    I don't have any of his passwords, if we share an account (ie Netflix, Amazon, etc) then we use an agreed upon password. He doesn't have mine, but we do know eachothers PIN #s.



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
    Posts
    13,236

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    DH and I have been together 22 yrs, married for 1. We share an email acct, plus I have my own, but he knows pw/logon. I don't have anything that I would worry about him seeing. My friends wouldn't send me anything that I would worry about him seeing.

    We have a toilet area that has a closeable door, so it gives some privacy. I wouldn't want THAT much openess in our relationship.



  16. #36
    Join Date
    Sep. 3, 2006
    Posts
    123

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    I would NEVER share passwords with someone I was merely dating. That's not only stupid, but can be an open door for trouble down the road when the relationship glow starts to tarnish.

    In marriage - well, that depends. While DH and I have been married 30+ years and have a commonly shared farm email account, we have separate personal email accounts. I have a "cheat sheet" with all my/our accounts (business, personal) and their passwords. DH has his, too. We know where each other's sheet is kept so we have access to those accounts and passcodes in case of emergency. He has less than zero interest in my personal accounts..and I feel the same about his. He has his desktop and iPad while I have my laptop and Android tablet. All our systems are in our common living area, kept on 24/7, and accounts up and wide open. However, we consider each others systems as private. The only time I will use his computer/tablet is when he can't figure out how to do something, and I have to show him. (Yup, yet another computer illerate guy). He refuses to use my computer/tablet as he has his own. Plus he's scared he's going to mess up whatever I have open on mine.

    Now, we do share the Master bathroom if needs demand, but only if it isn't too intrusive and the guest bathroom or downstairs powder room are already employed. The dogs are less polite. They'll barge in unasked, and unrepentant, and not leave until you're finished.
    Last edited by pdq; Feb. 19, 2013 at 05:24 AM.



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    9,954

    Default

    Interesting.

    DH is more like "I have nothing to hide, you can get in my email, whatevs."

    I am like "NO MINE! MINE! DON'T LOOK!!" Even though I have nothing to hide. It's like the people who randomly look at texts on their SO's phones. Eeep!!

    DH is older than me, and kind of a generation BEHIND his age due to how/where he was raised. So I think he's feeling is more of "the woman pays the bills and etc etc, so she needs access to the stuff...and I don't care to do those things, so she can use my logins..." We both know that the other can get on a computer/pad/phone and see the others' stuff, but we don't anyways.

    And I guess I'm secretive and Gollum-ish...
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Oct. 5, 2009
    Location
    Where the blacktop ends-Maryland
    Posts
    474

    Default

    Think it is personal preference. In my case I have DH passwords and do check his email daily it is combo personal and business he is not very tech saavy and never deletes anything so somebody has to clear all the stupid jokes out of there now his FB page nope but I am his friend he never lists anything uses it to keep up with kids and relatives. He on the other hand has nothing of mine just because he is not interested.

    Now that being said he stays very far away from my purse and I don't go through his wallet, yeah we're old:

    However I don't think I would give this info to someone I wasn't married to or in a very long term relationship with(more than a few years)
    "They spend 11 months stuggling to live, and 25 years trying to die" my farrier

    "They are dangerous on both ends and crafty in the middle"



  19. #39
    Join Date
    Jun. 16, 2009
    Posts
    553

    Default

    As a side note, does anyone else HATE IT when couples have a shared facebook account? ie, MikeandBeth Johnson (not real. Just made that up just now). That drives me crazy!!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    33,598

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    Quote Originally Posted by DeucesWild11 View Post
    As a side note, does anyone else HATE IT when couples have a shared facebook account? ie, MikeandBeth Johnson (not real. Just made that up just now). That drives me crazy!!!
    have not come across one, but I'd say it depends on how they use it.
    I dare say one is not doing facebook at all and the other is keeping up with both sides of the family.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bristol Bay View Post
    Try setting your broomstick to fly at a lower altitude.



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