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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 17, 2008
    Location
    WNY
    Posts
    409

    Default Online Dating Spin off- Share your stories!

    The title explains it- I want to hear your crazy stories.

    Of course everyone who has done online dating has met someone who didn't look like their picture...came to the date wearing something weird...didn't talk. I am looking for the CRAZY ones.

    Here is one of my mild ones:

    I met a guy online and after a few weeks of dating we went to the casino where his uncle worked. His uncle kept asking us to go out with him after and he kept saying no. I was confused so on the drive home I asked him why. The response- "oh, I know you don't do coke so I wasn't going to make you uncomfortable." What??? yes, apparently doing coke with family members was normal.

    OF COURSE he answered "no" to "do you use drugs" on his profile. He also said he was an occasional smoker...then when I met him it changed to "I only smoke when I drink" which was true...because he always had a drink in his hand! haha ugh!

    I am going to hold off on my craziest ones until I hear a few of yours.
    I WAS a proud member of the *I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday* clique..but now I am 30!!!!!!!!!!!
    My new blog about my Finger Lakes Finest:
    She Ain't No Small Potato!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    44,839

    Default

    I met a very nice horsey fellow online.
    He was part of those cowboy shooting groups, that were just starting.

    Soo, after corresponding a bit, he requested I send him an airline ticket so he could come meet me, specified a return ticket.

    I started with the idealistic thought that online dating was for those like myself, so isolated they didn't get to meet others in real life.
    Then found out that no, many living in cities with jobs and entertainment full of people all around them were participating also.
    I found the online dating experience a bit demeaning, about like picking someone from a shelf full of others stacked there.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar. 3, 2007
    Location
    North-Central IL
    Posts
    5,314

    Default

    Met on OkCupid and even though he was from a suburb his profile went on about how he was a country boy at heart and loved everything about it. Ok, I can work with that. So we chatted and texted and talked on the phone a fair bit and he did admit he wasn't very 'country' at all but was quite interested. Fine, whatever, pickins are slim nowadays.

    First red flag should have been he insisted we meet at Hooter's Besides being tacky this is an hour drive for me and I've never been to "the city" so am a little unnerved, but I agreed anyway, I think I'm into punishing myself.

    Get lost on the way there and miss my exit by about half an hour, try to get turned around and accidentally get back on the interstate going the WRONG way again, finally, finally get there. He's not bad looking, dinner goes alright, he pays with a gift card <snork> and lets me leave the tip because he can't figure out whether it's more appropriate to tip based on the actual check or the $5 he had to pay in cash after the card.

    At this point it's 7:30pm, I'm an hour away from home, I already know I'm horrible at navigating interstate travel, so I'd like to go home. Oh no. He *insists* we go to the ginormous mall and watch a movie. I politely explain why I'd rather go home. No, we're going. Fine. We get in the car and he just reaches over and starts PETTING my hair and keeps calling it "a glorious mane". Continues this until we get to the theater.

    We have to wait 20 minutes to be seated for the movie so we stand there and he keeps leaning in at me. I discreetly back up. He follows. We made a circle around the waiting area. This is when he told me about his special short-legged cats he spent $900 apiece buying because shelter cats "always go insane" because they'd had two that did. And then this wonderful dialect happened:
    Him: So, what kind of animals are on your farm?
    Me: Um, I told you already I have a horse and a dog.
    Him: Yeah, but what OTHER animals?
    Me: Um, some deer live in the pasture...?
    Him: I thought you said you live on a farm.
    Me: I do.
    Him: No you don't, farms have animals!
    Me: Horses and dogs aren't animals?
    Him: No! Like, farmy animals. You know, cows and, um, pigs, and stuff!
    Me: So you're saying I just live on a really big piece of land where we grow corn, but not on a farm because we don't have livestock?
    Him: Live-what?
    Could hardly enjoy the movie itself as he managed to finagle his arm behind the small of my back so that I couldn't even sit in my seat.

    As if that wasn't enough, when we got back to his vehicle he wanted a hug and then proceeded to RUB my midsection vigorously. I couldn't peel rubber fast enough. Of course, the next day he texted me and asked, "So what went wrong?"

    I now can giggle about my date with "Lenny" (Of Mice and Men)
    Last edited by Mosey_2003; Jul. 28, 2014 at 03:34 PM.
    Quote Originally Posted by OneMarbleLess View Post
    I am telling Obamama!!! OBAMAMA!!!!!! SHE HURT MY FEELERS!!!!!!



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    Tampa Fl.
    Posts
    4,219

    Default

    I can top that!

    Met a guy online, started with the usually IMing, emailing and because I lived in the sticks and did not get cell phone service we were stuck with emailing. We emailed for a bit and we finally picked a day to go to the movies and dinner.

    Guy claims that his car is in the shop day before and would it be OK for me to come and get him. Sure no problem, and sent me the address.

    * denotes red flags and I should exit!


    *I arrive to find him living with his 70 something yr old parents. He was in this late 20's (had him late in life).

    *We had to wait to leave because his dad had run to the bank to pull out the guys allowance so we could go to the movies.

    * the guy had this crazy nervous twitch. He would snap his fingers un-rhythmically nod his head and lick his lips.

    ******HE DID THIS THE ENTIRE TIME!!!******

    OK, so there is something not quite right about this guy, but I feel bad just ditching him. So I did my good deed for the day, took him to the movies and after the film I explained that I had a conflict of events and I had to take him home.


    The whole experience was horrible because I was not fully aware of the situation. Had I known he was NQR, I would not have agreed to go to the movies with him. To this day I feel that his parents are the ones that manned his profile.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    9,914

    Default

    When they used to have personal ads in the local paper, a friend put an ad in. This nice man responded, he was Military, and had a long list of things he'd done, places he'd been, and a lot of fun hobbies. She agreed to meet him at a restaurant, and they had a very nice time. She thought they hit it off, but he never contacted her again (red flag-he was moving apartments and didn't have a number yet). A couple of years later she saw a profile on him, and it was about phonies with dating ads. The man was never Military, had been nowhere, and was looking for women to scam.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2005
    Location
    dur-Ham, NC
    Posts
    496

    Default

    I wish I had good stories.... I'm really, really good at getting a 'feeling' about people and since I'm a busy woman, I only bother to meet ones that i get a positive feeling about.

    A friend of mine uses the same site and recently went out with a guy that appeared to be nice enough, but something about him bothered me and I couldn't put my finger on it. She went out with him and the verdict is that he's a creep. I'm proud of myself for seeing that in advance.

    So far so good. Dated one guy that I met online for 2.5 years Dated another for over a month.
    Have YOU ever looked into the eyes of a rich white child who has just lost a jumping competition?




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    1,767

    Default

    I have a great one.

    Met a guy online, great emails, met for dinner.

    He looked NOTHING like the photo. Red flag #1.

    (turns out it was a photo of a Russian figure skater--semi-famous)

    He told me over dinner that (despite his profile saying so) he actually didn't live in our town, he was 2 years older, and he was divorced.

    We did have a good dinner and good conversation, so I let it slide.

    He walked me to my car, where he pushed me up against it and kissed me while grabbing a boob. I extricated myself and exited, thinking at least the dinner was good.

    Then I got an email saying he wanted me to cook him dinner at my house for our next date, and then after he wanted to "mount me on my kitchen table".

    Yup, he got blocked super speedy!
    From now on, ponyfixer, i'll include foot note references.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    10,140

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Pony Fixer View Post
    Then I got an email saying he wanted me to cook him dinner at my house for our next date, and then after he wanted to "mount me on my kitchen table".

    Yup, he got blocked super speedy!
    *spitting potatoes everywhere*

    AHahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2009
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    1,266

    Default

    I went to school with the girl who writes this blog, and it is hilarious!

    http://www.lillayne.com/

    She has quite a few different entries on her horror story online dating experiences (or just blind date experiences).



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov. 14, 2007
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    854

    Default

    Does a regular ol' blind date count?
    A friend of mine tells me she 'has a friend who knows someone' ...would I like to go out with him. Ok. I'll give it a try. My friend is a solid sort. After a brief call, we decide to go out for dinner to a 'nice' restaurant, he says.

    I am in the shower when I hear "Hellooo", at the window. He is 45 minutes early. So I tell him to wait in the living room. I dress, heels and all (nice restaurant, remember) and meet him. We head out to his car, which is.....a bright orange VW Beetle with a 4 foot plastic cockroach on the roof and 'Terminex' in bold, black letters on the side!

    The drive towards San Diego is painful - and just when I'm thinking Lord, how do I get out of this one, he suddenly groans in pain, grabs his side, and tells me it's his gall bladder again. I insist that he go to the hospital ER (Oh please!), and I grabbed a cab home.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Sep. 29, 2009
    Posts
    2,576

    Default

    faybe,

    Great blog link. Very funny. Oh.yes.

    I am reading the paul rudd homeless guy entry. The writing is easy to read. I really like it. thanks for the link!



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2009
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    1,266

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by rmh_rider View Post
    faybe,

    Great blog link. Very funny. Oh.yes.

    I am reading the paul rudd homeless guy entry. The writing is easy to read. I really like it. thanks for the link!
    Glad you like it! I think the Cajun one and the police officer are the funniest.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    One guy...seemed nice enough. Chatted via email and decided to meet.

    I arrived, he was already seated. I offered to shake his hand in greeting. He didn't have one.

    It turned out that he was kind of a hobo. Nice guy, but not what I was into. But when he asked me out again and I politely declined, he went all "you hate disabled people" on me and made it about his missing limb.

    First of all, THAT was shocking. But it wasn't the reason I didn't go back out with him. He kind of stalked me on Match til I got him good and blocked and probably kicked off. Good gravy.

    Another guy...no joke, his whole profile was basically of his brother. Investment banker, pics, blah blah. Get out to dinner with him in a very JEWISH part of town and at dinner he starts talking about the "damned Jews" loudly, asking me about my mortgage payments and income, etc. Turns out he was a janitor at the bank his brother managed. Anyway. He got up to use the restroom before dinner was even served, I paid the bill and got the heck out. Creep!
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct. 29, 2007
    Location
    TN
    Posts
    1,875

    Default

    Well mine's rather tame here. Met a guy through OKC and gave him my number through an online message. He texted my mother (whose number is one away from mine) asking her out to Ethiopian food.
    "Things turn out best for the people who make the best of the way things turn out." ~John Wooden

    Phoenix Animal Rescue


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec. 29, 2006
    Posts
    65

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by faybe View Post
    I went to school with the girl who writes this blog, and it is hilarious!

    http://www.lillayne.com/

    She has quite a few different entries on her horror story online dating experiences (or just blind date experiences).
    the downton abbey entries are great! lol.

    dont get me wrong, i LOVE DA, but i feel almost het exact same way.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
    Location
    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
    Posts
    12,084

    Default

    I think I've posted all mine in the other thread from a while back and I have no new ones since I haven't been doing any online dating for some time, having had enough of it being not all that great to lose interest. Luckily, I have a few real-life irons in the fire right now but I don't think any of it will pay off until the Spring/Summer rolls around.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!



  17. #17
    Join Date
    May. 20, 2008
    Posts
    1,412

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by LexInVA View Post
    Luckily, I have a few real-life irons in the fire right now but I don't think any of it will pay off until the Spring/Summer rolls around.
    Well, THAT'S rather cryptic!



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Mar. 30, 2007
    Location
    Hollowed out volcano in the South Pacific.
    Posts
    12,084

    Default

    Well, two of them are Equestrians - didn't even know it until it just floated to the surface in conversations - and neither one seems to have any of the issues I've seen in most of the women I've interacted with. Since it's cold right now, we can't really go out and ride or do any hiking or any of the other activities that we share. I'm just going through the friendship and see where things go phase.
    Thus do we growl that our big toes have, at this moment, been thrown up from below!



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul. 17, 2008
    Location
    WNY
    Posts
    409

    Default

    Here's a good one.

    I get into the guys car for our *second* date. The first one was great- he was super cute, funny, a resident at the local hospital (yes, he really is), it was very easy and I was looking forward to it.

    I get into the car. I spot a car seat (he had not mentioned kids)

    Me: Hey, you have a car seat.
    Him: Yeah, I am married and have a 2 year old, remember?
    Me: umm no...
    Him: oh I thought I told you!

    WHAT?!
    I WAS a proud member of the *I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday* clique..but now I am 30!!!!!!!!!!!
    My new blog about my Finger Lakes Finest:
    She Ain't No Small Potato!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul. 17, 2008
    Location
    WNY
    Posts
    409

    Default

    There was also the time that I went out with a guy who commented on how great my thighs where...then proceeded to ask me if he could mastrubate to the thought of me that night. My response: do what you need to do. (what do you say to that?)
    I WAS a proud member of the *I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday* clique..but now I am 30!!!!!!!!!!!
    My new blog about my Finger Lakes Finest:
    She Ain't No Small Potato!


    1 members found this post helpful.

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