The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 1 of 5 123 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 20 of 95
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,927

    Angry I never thought I'd be this person, but I have just about had enough of our brat cat

    When we adopt a pet, they are ours for life. We give them proper medical care, groom them, fed them well, love them. When Mija--our tuxedo adoptee that had been a starving stray kitten--suffered acute kidney failure due to lily poisoning 8 years ago, we paid over $1000 in vet expenses to see her through her near-death experience. She's been happily eccentric ever since.

    Sort of.

    Seven years ago this April, we had our first son. She chose to ignore him, which was fine. Our elderly dog and lovebug of another cat welcomed the new member to the pack/pride.

    In 2008, we had to put down the dog as she was severely ill with kidney disease. We'd done everything we could over the last few years, but she was not getting better, and we finally accepted it.

    In December 2009, we had our second son. Mija, like with our first, ignored him--until he became mobile. Then she hated him. Thankfully, our other giant lovebug of a cat loved everybody, and welcomed the toddler's less than gentle affections.

    January 2011, we adopted a new dog, which lovebug cat quickly assimilated into the family. Kitty quickly let the big shepherd/lab cross know HE was boss. They quickly reached an understanding, thankfully because Ginger is a giant wuss. Mija--predictably--hates her. She will stalk, attack, growl, and hiss at poor Ginger, who yips and yelps and BOW WOW WOW!s her distress. A few times, they've had some loud "arguments" that drew a teeny bit of blood--scratch to Ginger's nose, claw partially torn from Mija--so we keep them separated in the house. Seems to work okay.

    Until we lost the lovebug of a cat in September 2012. Now, Mija is lonely, but just as nutty, and hates our children even more (surprisingly, she seems to have more tolerance of the dog, but we aren't pushing it--she can now walk by Ginger with only a hiss or two, if I'm monitoring both of them).

    Our poor youngest, age 3 now, adores cats--but can't pet her. She's the type of cat that will purr and love being petted, then suddenly out of nowhere growl, hiss, swat, and run away in a matter of seconds. A few times she has drawn blood on the boys, and this is where I draw the line. You do NOT mess with my children, fruitcake.

    Enter this morning. I'd let the dog out, so hubby and I were enjoying a cuddle in the bed, and Mija had joined us, purring happily. Our 3yro son came to join us, and we gave them plenty of space. He asked to pet Mija, and hubby said it would be okay since he was watching. I heard him say, "No, Mija no scratch you" about 15 seconds before I heard a hiss, a WHAP!, and a very frightened yelp before bursting into shaking tears from our son.

    This is miserable for everyone. Mija is lonely, but seems to hate everyone in the house except my husband (she tolerates me). I don't want my sons to develop a fear of cats, but I don't want to just toss her aside. (She's 13 years old now, incidentally.)

    BOTH sons miss our old kitty, and the eldest came in this morning saying "Let's get rid of her and get a new cat!" Tempting, let me tell you--at least the first half of that sentence.

    But, we took on the responsibility of her--I'm not about to just toss her aside, though this morning I was ready to toss her across the room (kidding, kidding...kinda). She is older, progressively more eccentric, and less than friendly. I don't know that I can find a good new home for her, and I don't know how or if she'd adapt to a new home.

    I draw the line at her hurting my children. Even my hubby, who adores her, agrees. But--now what?
    SA Ferrana Moniet
    Not goodbye--just waiting at the end of the trail.
    My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 1, 2008
    Location
    Nowhere, Maryland
    Posts
    3,252

    Default

    Honestly, it sounds like your kids just need to learn that some animals don't like being petted. Three is not too young to learn this. I wouldn't put up with real biting, but being scratched is sort of part of having a cat and kids. Is there some reason you can't look for a full grown, easygoing second cat that will give her some company and your kids something to love?


    20 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2012
    Posts
    689

    Default

    Might be time to call Jackson.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,927

    Default

    Highflyer, that would be ideal except Mija--typical of her--hates other cats. She was attached to Inigo because he was here first and she was a kitten (well, about 6mos old, the vet estimated) when we got her. She has shown extreme, violent distaste for any other cat that comes near a window (whereas Inigo would watch in fascination).

    Plus--finding a cat that can be brought into a house a two small rambunctious boys and a large dog might be challenging. Not impossible, but challenging.

    I do miss having a cuddle-able kitty, though.
    SA Ferrana Moniet
    Not goodbye--just waiting at the end of the trail.
    My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2007
    Posts
    12

    Default

    I personally think that 13 is too old to rehome a cat. She's older and that is too much stress for her. If I was in your position, I would be seriously thinking about euthanasia. The cat is not happy and the situation isn't going to be improved for her.


    13 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,927

    Default

    Tequila, that is what hubby is leaning toward.
    SA Ferrana Moniet
    Not goodbye--just waiting at the end of the trail.
    My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2004
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    19,997

    Default

    I would get another friendly, adult cat and see how it goes grumpy cat may come around a bit. Maybe try a feliway collar or diffuser? I am never against euthing an animal that isn't fitting in versus the alternative of turning over to the humane society since that is what they will end up doing anyway.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr. 13, 2008
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    2,330

    Default

    Who feeds her? I've tricked cats into liking me by feeding them. The way to an animals heart is through their mouth (:
    AETERNUM VALE, INVICTUS - 7/10/2012



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2008
    Location
    southeastern PA
    Posts
    102

    Default

    How about trimming the cat's front toenails? I've always keep my cat's trimmed (every Sunday night) to save the furniture and now that he has health issues, to get the seven pills a day tossed down his throat scratch-free.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2010
    Posts
    2,464

    Default

    Why not let her be a furniture ornament? It sounds like you might be projecting the "lonely" part. Many cats are content being in the same area as you but don't want physical contact. She tolerates your children touching her for a few minutes, gives warning signs, and then says enough is enough. It sounds like she wants to be with the family but on the outer edge. There is nothing wrong with that.

    The cat I rescued has attached herself to my sister and is very much like this. As I type she is laying at my feet. If I went down to pet her she would either run or tolerate a few seconds of petting and then hiss or mouth my hand. Euthanasia would never ever be on the table for us. She's a moody cat. I've learned to enjoy her company and I ask people to respect her space. I let her initiate physical contact on her terms and otherwise I think of her as a cute throw pillow on my bed, couch, etc. She is happy. I am happy.


    13 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    2,685

    Default

    I would certainly not euth a cat for scratching. Some just don't like being petted and many just don't like kids. I have one like that who does NOT go around guests or kids. He also is not okay with other (particularly male) cats (full on attack). We keep peace in the valley by segregation, which has worked fine, not ideal, but workable. His best (only) buddy (female) was put down over a year ago. I might get him another female friend, if I can find a bitchy, take-care-of-myself, kind of girl! Your kitty would probably fit in fine here!

    My bitchy older female kitty did MUCH better with males; she had an older friend I had for 19years that she adored, then when I got my young aggressive guy she held her own with him. You might get another more loving male kitty and see how she does. FWIW I grew up with a female cat who was hot/cold about petting, and scratched plenty, and I LOVE cats!

    I rehomed another older female to my mom's house (my young guy was just stressing her out too much) and she lives like a queen there, with another mellow male. She is very happy. She really needed an adult-only, no aggressive cats kind of home.

    Except for a few strays, I have gotten all my wonderful cats and dogs from shelters, so am delighted that they did not work out for someone else and that those people took them to our no-kill shelter rather than put them down.

    Good luck with your girl.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    2,685

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GraceLikeRain View Post
    Why not let her be a furniture ornament? It sounds like you might be projecting the "lonely" part. Many cats are content being in the same area as you but don't want physical contact. She tolerates your children touching her for a few minutes, gives warning signs, and then says enough is enough. It sounds like she wants to be with the family but on the outer edge. There is nothing wrong with that.

    The cat I rescued has attached herself to my sister and is very much like this. As I type she is laying at my feet. If I went down to pet her she would either run or tolerate a few seconds of petting and then hiss or mouth my hand. Euthanasia would never ever be on the table for us. She's a moody cat. I've learned to enjoy her company and I ask people to respect her space. I let her initiate physical contact on her terms and otherwise I think of her as a cute throw pillow on my bed, couch, etc. She is happy. I am happy.
    Awesome!!! love this!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2011
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,335

    Default

    I don't think she's too old to rehome if possible.

    I do agree though that your household is no longer to her liking. Maybe an older lady would want her? A quiter house is likely what kitty needs.

    Good luck. Tough choices here. ((HUGS))



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2009
    Posts
    2,901

    Default

    Your kids don't need to pat her. If she likes your husband, he can take a little extra time each day to give her attention if she's lonely. Otherwise, just leave her alone. You can't really blame the cat for scratching your son. It sounds like the cat made it clear she didn't want him touching her, then escalated when he continued. Teach your boys to read her body language and back off when she says 'no'. Unless she is attacking them unprovoked, just tell your boys not to touch her.

    Growing up, we had a friendly dog, and an "eat your face off if you touch me" cat. If we got scratched or bit, my mom fussed at us for bothering the cat. Rather than develop a fear of cats, we learned to read an animal's body language and learn to respect their space. Furthermore, we learned you can't just give up on an animal because it's not ideal. As I got older and learned how to pat the cat and when to back off, I became her favorite.

    *Note*-If the attacks are violent and unprovoked (ie, cat attacks child without child touching, teasing, bothering cat), then euthanasia should definitely be considered. But putting down a cat because it doesn't like new animals or being patted- would not be something I'd even consider.


    21 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,927

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by GraceLikeRain View Post
    Why not let her be a furniture ornament? It sounds like you might be projecting the "lonely" part. Many cats are content being in the same area as you but don't want physical contact. She tolerates your children touching her for a few minutes, gives warning signs, and then says enough is enough. It sounds like she wants to be with the family but on the outer edge. There is nothing wrong with that.
    This is, more or less, what she is now. We keep her sequestered to one wing of the house during the day, so she hangs out on our bed and has access to the litterbox and some toys and such, while the boys and the dog have access to the rest. While we're away at work and the dog is outside, she has free access to the entire house. At night, the dog is in the bedroom with us, and Mija has free access to the non-bedroom wing of the house.

    I don't think I'm projecting lonely, though perhaps it's too human a term for it. But there is a decided difference in her behavior since we lost Inigo. Now, whenever we first stir in the wee morning (and she can hear us), she begs for attention--meow meow meow meow meow meow, nonstop, pawing at the door, trying to push her way in, then trotting over to the bed, hopping in, and rubbing and purring all over who is there (even if it's me, though it's not preferred). She even lets the dog walk by her as I let Ginger out and Mija in.

    It's easiest to go back to what we were already doing, which is basically the "no touch" rule, but each time there's an incident like this, it shines a light on how unhappy she is, and how it affects my boys.

    We do keep her nails trimmed, incidentally, to protect every creature (two and four legged) in the house.
    SA Ferrana Moniet
    Not goodbye--just waiting at the end of the trail.
    My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2001
    Location
    Almost Aiken
    Posts
    2,711

    Default

    Have you tried Feliway? It can help. Or possibly some kitty prozac, you can get it compounded as a transdermal to be rubbed in an ear. I agree w/ trimming claws, if you can get it done w/out trauma all around.

    There are cats though that like company, but can't stand being touched. You might get one stroke, or a skritch on the back of the neck. Anything more sets up sensations they just can't handle. Can he interact with the cat using a wand toy?

    13 is getting up there, but most of my cats have lived to 18 or 19 years.

    (whoops posting at the same time!)


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Location
    Southern California
    Posts
    1,927

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Big_Grey_hunter View Post
    Growing up, we had a friendly dog, and an "eat your face off if you touch me" cat. If we got scratched or bit, my mom fussed at us for bothering the cat. Rather than develop a fear of cats, we learned to read an animal's body language and learn to respect their space. Furthermore, we learned you can't just give up on an animal because it's not ideal. As I got older and learned how to pat the cat and when to back off, I became her favorite.
    This is what I want, and what I've been trying to do. I grew up with a family that discarded pets when they were a nuisance, rather than actually working with them to solve a problem. Mija would have been dumped by my family ages ago.

    I'm finding the problem is losing Inigo has made it hard for all of us to adjust without him. The boys want a cat they can cuddle again, but that AIN'T Mija, and bringing a new cat into this house is less than ideal, too, because of Mija's extreme distaste for other felines.

    But I don't want my sons to learn to just shrug off the responsibility and the commitment. I've been teaching them body language and such, but the problem is, Mija is, well...nutty. She literally will be fine, purring, happy, then in a half second decide she's had enough, spin around, spit, and swat. I've grown up with cats and have had them my entire life, but I've never encountered one as unpredictable as her. The only thing I can compare her to is the half bobcat we had when I was kid. Purr, purr, purr, then out of nowhere, EFF YOU ALL. ("Bobby" didn't last long in our house, as you may assume.)

    I'd be afraid to rehome her, because I'd be afraid she'd hurt her new owner in the stresses of a new environment. But I have several contacts--we've fostered found feral kittens, rescued kittens dumped at my school, and rehomed my Dad's cat after he passed away--in the cat rescue world, so maybe I should at least put out feelers.
    SA Ferrana Moniet
    Not goodbye--just waiting at the end of the trail.
    My bloggity blog: Hobby Horse: Adventures of the Perpetual Newbie



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    2,685

    Default

    Well it certainly sounds like you are doing a great deal for your kitty and are trying to make things workable. Its so hard when there are "issues". Good luck with her! Love the name "mija" - my wenchy kitty was (initially) named "malaika" which is swahili for "Angel", but that really did not apply (by her behavior when she was younger anyway). She earned it at the end.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb. 1, 2012
    Location
    Vermont
    Posts
    5,257

    Default

    I would also teach the kids to just leave her alone. You say she'll be fine and then hiss and spit out of nowhere...but you know she doesn't like the kids because she has told you this before. So, kiddies are not allowed to pet kitteh at all...how many times does she have to tell you by hissing and spitting before YOU understand that she doesn't like the kids? I would stop putting the kids and the kitteh in that situation. Cats are pretty independent anyways, and it sounds like she would be HAPPIER if you would stop trying to make her into the friendly cat and the cat that the kids can pet.
    "If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple payments..."


    12 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2012
    Location
    Fern Creek, KY
    Posts
    3,010

    Default

    Kudos to you for trying to work with her!

    Our calico was utterly miserable here when DD was born. She was a total lap cat, always wanting to be petted and loved on. With a new baby she just couldn't get the attention that she wanted. She got kind of nasty, peeing on things, etc. (Nowhere NEAR as bad as Mija though).

    We found her a home with a couple with no children, and no plans for children. She's 150% a different cat. It sounds like your girl needs something similar where she can be an only cat.

    I felt the same way that you did about re-homing her. We always keep our animals for life, but she just. wasn't. happy. Seeing her in her new home has made me feel MUCH better about the decision. Just like the $1500 vet bills, we did the best thing for her.
    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    I prefer them outside playing as opposed to standing in the barn aisle playing "I can crap more than you"
    New Year, New Blog... follow Willow and I here.


    1 members found this post helpful.

Similar Threads

  1. Replies: 23
    Last Post: Feb. 6, 2013, 07:20 AM
  2. Bitting the fussy brat!
    By Canteringcait in forum Dressage
    Replies: 24
    Last Post: Mar. 9, 2012, 08:17 AM
  3. 10 years old and still a brat...
    By Girl_endurance_ridr in forum Horse Care
    Replies: 5
    Last Post: Apr. 25, 2011, 01:57 PM
  4. Gelding has to pee = spooky brat
    By schmalter in forum Off Course
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: Apr. 25, 2010, 10:42 PM
  5. Bridling a Brat!
    By indygirl2560 in forum Hunter/Jumper
    Replies: 33
    Last Post: Jan. 26, 2009, 09:05 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •