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  1. #61
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2006
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    Stoystown, PA
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    2,063

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    OP, I know how you feel... I had to leave my previous boarding situation of 7 years because while I love the BO dearly as a friend, if I stayed we would no longer be friends. Either way I had to leave so I used the excuse of needing an indoor and more facilities and I got to keep my friend. She crosses the line constantly and would lose boarders all the time because of it. It's impossible for her to just take care of the horses and mind her own business.

    I just don't have the heart to tell her that because I know it would hurt her feelings.
    Boyle Heights Kid 1998 OTTB Dark Bay Gelding
    Tinner's Way x Sculpture by Hail to Reason
    "Once you go off track, you never go back!"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  2. #62
    Join Date
    May. 22, 2012
    Posts
    170

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    OP if you saw a child with great potential you would butt in and tell the parents if they weren't helping the child the way they should. No difference.

    For you to even says this lady is a stay at home, "kept" mom as you complain about your lack of resources at your school and how difficult it is tells the real story.

    Stop the pity party and just tell the stay at home kept mom that you just don't have the time because your job sucks and is overwhelming for you. You can also tell her since she is inquiring that you know you have a nice horse but really don't want to do the show thing or whatever you really feel, be honest. Saying STFU just would show even further your envy for her situation and are frustrated with yours.
    If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #63
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2007
    Location
    NY State
    Posts
    363

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    Says OP to annoying boarder:
    "You could always buy her, then you could do what you feel is appropriate with her. I'm asking $75,000."


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #64
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2012
    Posts
    689

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    Quote Originally Posted by Goldie locks View Post
    OP if you saw a child with great potential you would butt in and tell the parents if they weren't helping the child the way they should. No difference.
    No difference? Good Lord I've heard it all......

    It's just a horse.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  5. #65
    Join Date
    May. 22, 2012
    Posts
    170

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    Quote Originally Posted by caballero View Post
    No difference? Good Lord I've heard it all......

    It's just a horse.
    I've heard it all - it's just a horse!

    Were not talking about ABUSE
    If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.



  6. #66
    Join Date
    Jun. 23, 2006
    Location
    Stoystown, PA
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    2,063

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    Quote Originally Posted by CharingHounds View Post
    Says OP to annoying boarder:
    "You could always buy her, then you could do what you feel is appropriate with her. I'm asking $75,000."
    hahaha! This is my favorite one! I'm gonna have to use that one!
    Boyle Heights Kid 1998 OTTB Dark Bay Gelding
    Tinner's Way x Sculpture by Hail to Reason
    "Once you go off track, you never go back!"



  7. #67
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2010
    Location
    california
    Posts
    5,041

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    Wow, this thread really went off the rails....

    I have to say OP that when you said that person "tells everyone their horse is lame" it was funny because I think we all know that "person". Hence my horse having a severely sore back-6 weeks off with meds-from the saddle that "Oh yes it fits him" person who was riding him. So glad I explained to her what she was actually doing to my horse and that "no" he did not have to transported to the nearest hospital immediately.



  8. #68
    Join Date
    Nov. 25, 2005
    Location
    MA
    Posts
    1,165

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    Didn't mean to derail this thread into a debate about education... but now that everyone's piled on the OP about being whiny...

    OP- do you work in City of Rochester district? It took me about 30 seconds to look up that the free-lunch eligible rate in Rochester is 79% and the reduced-cost lunch is 5%. So 84% of the kids have parents with an annual income of under about $15,000.

    I work in a district where 80% of the kids are on free or reduced lunch. Working in a poor school district with poverty-stricken clientele is completely different from working in a well-funded district with kids that have parents that have good jobs and a reasonable income to provide for their children.

    On a daily basis, teachers in these districts are pretty much asked to do the impossible and perform miracles. As an example, last year I had a remedial level math class with 30 kids in it and 17 of them had IEP's. I did not have a special ed co-teacher for most of the year. And yes, there were students in there that did not belong in a regular ed classroom and they had IEPs that specified that they were pull-out for math. However, since we went "full inclusion" magically those students got put into regular ed classrooms. And that's just an example. Stuff like that happens ALL THE TIME in school districts like these.

    So OP, it's not just that SAHM doesn't get your job- most of the world doesn't get your job. Feel free to tell her to butt out. And then have a glass of wine (or two). Also- studies have shown that teachers just starting at these kinds of districts actually suffer from some PTSS type symptoms. Just FYI.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  9. #69
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2002
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    3,705

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    "Most of the world" doesn't get my job, my neighbor's job, or my best friend's uncle's cousin's job. That doesn't mean it owes us a darn thing. Everybody is busy. Everybody has stress. Everybody has his or her cross to bear. Can't we jus leave it at that? What the OP does or does not do for a living and what her irritator does or does not do should have no bearing here. The OP is annoyed by the other boarder's line of questioning. All she needs to do is share that fact, politely and concisely and move on. The "my life is crazier/harder/suckier than yours and you just don't get it" game gets old. Fast.
    "Absent a correct diagnosis, medicine is poison, surgery is trauma and alternative therapy is witchcraft" A. Kent Allen
    http://www.etsy.com/shop/tailsofglory


    4 members found this post helpful.

  10. #70
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2007
    Location
    California
    Posts
    4,108

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    Quote Originally Posted by JackieBlue View Post
    "Most of the world" doesn't get my job, my neighbor's job, or my best friend's uncle's cousin's job. That doesn't mean it owes us a darn thing. Everybody is busy. Everybody has stress. Everybody has his or her cross to bear. Can't we jus leave it at that? What the OP does or does not do for a living and what her irritator does or does not do should have no bearing here. The OP is annoyed by the other boarder's line of questioning. All she needs to do is share that fact, politely and concisely and move on. The "my life is crazier/harder/suckier than yours and you just don't get it" game gets old. Fast.


    This is what I think too. Many people have stress that we don't even know about.

    Some think just because someone "appears" to be rich that they have no stress... I wonder how that kind of money just floats into their bank accounts? Maybe they have to work hard, hours upon hours dealing with things some will never know about.
    Last edited by doublesstable; Feb. 18, 2013 at 02:17 PM.
    "Don't saw on your horses mouth it's not a piece of wood" ~ GM


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #71
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2009
    Posts
    1,805

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    OP, I feel for you, when your job overwhelms and you have to balance life by cutting back on other things it is frustrating. I don't blame you a bit for just wanting to "spend time" with your horse, especially in the winter with shorter days and colder temps. If this other lady constantly says the same thing time after time I think you are okay to take a different approach. I don't know I would even do they "why do you ask?" I would just stop what I was doing and look her straight in they eye and say how you feel. Explain that you have an extremely stressful job right now and yes you really truly don't have a lot of time and no you don't really care what her schedule is, you really don't. Explain you love your horse even without riding it, the horse makes you happy. Explain that you like the woman but you really would appreciate her respecting your limited barn time and to no longer preach to you that you can't possibly be that busy. Don't have to be rude but be honest, love the story about the mom pestering a kid who is out at the barn with her lame horse 10 times as much as the mom's kid just telling her the truth.

    If that doesn't work, wave and play your ipod and sing loudly LOL.
    I am sure venting did help.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #72
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2012
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    724

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    I totally agree that this thread has gotten off the tracks, but I also wonder if there is more to the situation than we know such as the OP maybe complained to the woman about her job/schedule and not having time to ride, effectively inviting get opinion. Not that it matters now, but, I think, the OP just needs to ignore the woman. If you don't engage her she will find someone else to annoy.
    ~ Because sometimes you need a rainbow, butterfly, unicorn kitten.



  13. #73
    Join Date
    Feb. 3, 2012
    Posts
    267

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    If you really want to do something, you will make time to do it......



  14. #74
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2013
    Posts
    316

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    Quote Originally Posted by Alternative1 View Post
    If you really want to do something, you will make time to do it......
    But OP does make time to do it - just not at the level that SAHM thinks is appropriate for the horse. If OP is satisfied with her saddle time at this point (and even if she's not!) and the horse in question is happy/healthy/getting enough exercise, it's none of SAHM or anybody else's business how often OP rides.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #75
    Join Date
    May. 22, 2012
    Posts
    170

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    Quote Originally Posted by 541hunter View Post
    But OP does make time to do it - just not at the level that SAHM thinks is appropriate for the horse. If OP is satisfied with her saddle time at this point (and even if she's not!) and the horse in question is happy/healthy/getting enough exercise, it's none of SAHM or anybody else's business how often OP rides.
    Sorry I think this is funny... I agree that it's no ones business but you act like you are there witnessing their conversations. Only the OP could respond to this comment.
    If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way. If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.



  16. #76
    Join Date
    Aug. 24, 2003
    Location
    Cresco, PA
    Posts
    155

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    I like throwing questions back at them. But in this case it's gone past the point where that would be useful. Whenever we get in the position of trying to explain we go on the defensive. That doesn't feel good and encourages more questions. Remember it's your horse and you owe no one an explanation.

    You can simply smile and say "Thanks for your input. I need to focus on my horse now. Have a nice day." Keeping the conversation as brief as possible then dismissing her will make you feel empowered and allow you to enjoy your horse.

    Wishing you quality horse time now and every visit.



  17. #77
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2009
    Location
    Rochester, NY
    Posts
    35

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    I am just laughing at this point because I have no idea how this thread got to where it is considering that:

    1. I never complained about the woman's job, and only mentioned it because she seems to think she needs to bring it up to me.

    2. I never started conversations with her about my hectic lifestyle.

    3. I love my students more than anything and the fact is that I DO all the extra work that is not required of me by law because I love my students. I wasn't trying to turn this into a b-fest about my job-just giving a basic understanding about my stress and what I have told the woman.

    4. My horse gets 8 hours of t/o (4 on cold days), tons of first and second cut hay, amazing care from a fantastic barn manager who calls me immediately if something is wrong (and I go out as soon as I find out-but they are so careful and amazing there an injury is rare). People think she is a WB instead of a TB because she is fat, healthy and well muscled, even on a light riding schedule. She is also the type that I can chase around for 5-10 minutes and get on and have it be just like I had been riding her all week- like I said- AWESOME horse. She's fine- really

    OH- and I don't feel comfortable saying which district I work for, but we are mostly caucasian, rural poverty.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  18. #78
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2012
    Location
    Kansas
    Posts
    1,042

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    My go-to reply with people like that is to say "duly noted." And nothing else. Repeat as needed. There is nothing wrong with simply walking away from her while she's talking at you.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #79
    Join Date
    Jul. 25, 2003
    Location
    Boston Area
    Posts
    8,674

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    I think ear buds and an ipod are the best solution, even when you don't have the ipod turned on.

    It's terrible to have someone at the barn who is irritating. We had someone at our barn for awhile like that and it was so annoying to arrive and find her there.

    Your horse has no idea of its "potential" and sounds like she has a good life.
    Equine Ink - My soapbox for equestrian writings & reviews.
    EquestrianHow2 - Operating instructions for your horse.



  20. #80
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2006
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    1,395

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    Quote Originally Posted by LovinLatte81 View Post
    I am just laughing at this point because I have no idea how this thread got to where it is considering that:

    1. I never complained about the woman's job, and only mentioned it because she seems to think she needs to bring it up to me.

    2. I never started conversations with her about my hectic lifestyle.

    3. I love my students more than anything and the fact is that I DO all the extra work that is not required of me by law because I love my students. I wasn't trying to turn this into a b-fest about my job-just giving a basic understanding about my stress and what I have told the woman.

    4. My horse gets 8 hours of t/o (4 on cold days), tons of first and second cut hay, amazing care from a fantastic barn manager who calls me immediately if something is wrong (and I go out as soon as I find out-but they are so careful and amazing there an injury is rare). People think she is a WB instead of a TB because she is fat, healthy and well muscled, even on a light riding schedule. She is also the type that I can chase around for 5-10 minutes and get on and have it be just like I had been riding her all week- like I said- AWESOME horse. She's fine- really

    OH- and I don't feel comfortable saying which district I work for, but we are mostly caucasian, rural poverty.
    I didn't read the whole thread but my opinion is that it's your horse, your money, your time, your life. Ultimately, I always think of the horse. And your horse is probably perfectly happy not being in a rigorous 7 day/week riding program. Horses weren't put on this earth to serve us. My horse LOVES to be worked, but not all horses have that attitude. I am the rider that rides in almost all weather conditions, but not everyone is that rider. If she is happy and you are happy that is all that matters.
    There is something about the outside of a horse that is good for the
    inside of a man.

    -Sir Winston Churchill


    1 members found this post helpful.

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