The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedDirectoriesMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Page 2 of 2 FirstFirst 12
Results 21 to 31 of 31
  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2004
    Location
    Piedmont Triad, North Carolina
    Posts
    2,396

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FLeventer View Post
    Thank you all for your advice.

    It is the attitude towards the student loans that is the issue. He pays the minimum on a loan with a huge interest rate and it piles up to almost double what the loan was worth in the beginning. Totally ridiculous and makes no sense.

    He has money to take the loan down but goes and spends it on cars that sit around the shop. We have the bodies of four 50's chevy pickup trucks, two forties Fords, 69 Charger with everything in it but not together, and just a bunch of other cars that are bodies out in the parking lot. They are rusting dollar signs and no matter how much I want him to work on them or sell them, they sit and do nothing.

    It is just frustrating and I want him to be responsible for his money. He does not care. Overdraws his accounts because he does not pay attention enough to switch money over and then expects me to fix it. Tax deadlines I have to deal with, finances I have to deal with, balancing his unorganized books is also my responsibility. I just want him to pay attention to money a bit more, it is not difficult. He is also an impulse buyer and I don't trust him with my money.

    That is the whole of the issue. It is slightly rantish as I have been doing his taxes this past month and dealing with his business requirements.
    Don't marry this man. He wants you to take care of him. He wants you to be responsible as he plays with his business and toys. And you don't want to be a Momma ? You already are ...


    3 members found this post helpful.

  2. #22
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2006
    Location
    Ocala
    Posts
    1,294

    Default

    Interestingly, yesterday on Dave Ramsey's radio show, he had an entire segment on people who decided not to get married because of financial issues. Not as unusual as you might think.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2005
    Location
    Back to Normal.. or as close as I'll ever get
    Posts
    9,661

    Default

    DH & I lived together for 28 years before we got married (his idea).

    I felt as committed during those years as if I had the State-sanctioned license, but in the end I was glad we did get legally married.
    It gave me the status of wife and allowed me to make the final decision for him.

    Ending Life Support is not a choice I hope you ever have to make, but unless your state recognizes Civil Unions, consider how it might affect you.

    As for finances: we had separate bank accounts for personal things and one shared for the house expenses.
    *friend of bar.ka*RIP all my lovely boys, gone too soon:
    Steppin' Out 1988-2004
    Hey Vern! 1982-2009
    Cash's Bay Threat 1994-2009



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jun. 21, 2009
    Location
    Hunterdon County NJ
    Posts
    3,009

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FLeventer View Post
    Thank you all for your advice.


    It is the attitude towards the student loans that is the issue. He pays the minimum on a loan with a huge interest rate and it piles up to almost double what the loan was worth in the beginning. Totally ridiculous and makes no sense.

    He has money to take the loan down but goes and spends it on cars that sit around the shop. We have the bodies of four 50's chevy pickup trucks, two forties Fords, 69 Charger with everything in it but not together, and just a bunch of other cars that are bodies out in the parking lot. They are rusting dollar signs and no matter how much I want him to work on them or sell them, they sit and do nothing.

    It is just frustrating and I want him to be responsible for his money. He does not care. Overdraws his accounts because he does not pay attention enough to switch money over and then expects me to fix it. Tax deadlines I have to deal with, finances I have to deal with, balancing his unorganized books is also my responsibility. I just want him to pay attention to money a bit more, it is not difficult. He is also an impulse buyer and I don't trust him with my money.

    That is the whole of the issue. It is slightly rantish as I have been doing his taxes this past month and dealing with his business requirements.
    Well... yes, the two of you must be in agreement about finances. And, honestly, it sounds like you don't trust him/agree when it comes to $$.

    BUT, as far as the cars/parts go... those could easily be equines sitting around (and costing a lot more $ to do so!!) So keep in mind that plenty of females are on COTH all the time complaining about their spouses pressuring them to unload the nags.



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Nov. 3, 2008
    Posts
    352

    Default

    My boyfriend and I have been living together for 7 years now, and were dating before that, and friends well before that!

    We discuss marriage now and then. Like the OP, I'm not overly excited about having a proper wedding. I'm shy - I hate crowds, and I hate being the center of attention even more, add in the fact we'd have to pay money for the experience and I'm steering clear We'd likely just get married with a couple of friends in attendance in the backyard or on a vacation but honestly, it's really not a priority for either of us.

    We're both happy and very committed to each other, we don't have children, we both are financially independent of each other, we both work. I kind of feel like we're happy and marriage wouldn't change anything, so what's the point. The best reason I can come up with is that my last name is difficult for people to spell and that can lead to complications with licenses, doctor visits, etc when it's spelled different on different documents. He has a nice normal last name and think I'd enjoy the simplicity of using it I admit to getting annoyed when people assume there is something wrong with our relationship because we're not married. But not annoyed enough to get married to make them happy



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2008
    Posts
    1,294

    Default

    think you are annoyed at how he uses his money now with not paying more than the minimum balance now? just wait till it is "your money" that he is doing that with. does he do the same with credit cards?

    its not about the cars, they just represent his attitude about money to you, I bet if he did not rely on you to keep his finances straight, overdraw accounts and if he was doing a better job on paying off the loans you would not mind the cars



  7. #27
    Join Date
    May. 21, 2004
    Location
    N. TX...just N.East of paradise...
    Posts
    2,027

    Default

    Depends who you're trying to please.....think that one over
    "As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use."- William James
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Proud member of the Wheat Loss Clique.



  8. #28
    Join Date
    May. 6, 2003
    Posts
    1,888

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by FLeventer View Post
    Thank you all for your advice.

    Children are not an issue and we have discussed this quite a bit. We are on agreement, at this time and hopefully still in the future that there will be no children.

    It is the attitude towards the student loans that is the issue. He pays the minimum on a loan with a huge interest rate and it piles up to almost double what the loan was worth in the beginning. Totally ridiculous and makes no sense.

    He has money to take the loan down but goes and spends it on cars that sit around the shop. We have the bodies of four 50's chevy pickup trucks, two forties Fords, 69 Charger with everything in it but not together, and just a bunch of other cars that are bodies out in the parking lot. They are rusting dollar signs and no matter how much I want him to work on them or sell them, they sit and do nothing.

    It is just frustrating and I want him to be responsible for his money. He does not care. Overdraws his accounts because he does not pay attention enough to switch money over and then expects me to fix it. Tax deadlines I have to deal with, finances I have to deal with, balancing his unorganized books is also my responsibility. I just want him to pay attention to money a bit more, it is not difficult. He is also an impulse buyer and I don't trust him with my money.

    That is the whole of the issue. It is slightly rantish as I have been doing his taxes this past month and dealing with his business requirements.
    Ah, I see your problem about the student loans now. Uh, yeah, I'd totally be hesitating about getting married in that case too.
    According to the Mayan calendar, the world will not end this week. Please plan your life accordingly.



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Oct. 7, 2006
    Location
    on and off the bit
    Posts
    4,211

    Default Question: "Is it OK not to get married?"

    Yes.
    Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
    People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
    "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2011
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,366

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Burbank View Post
    think you are annoyed at how he uses his money now with not paying more than the minimum balance now? just wait till it is "your money" that he is doing that with. does he do the same with credit cards?

    its not about the cars, they just represent his attitude about money to you, I bet if he did not rely on you to keep his finances straight, overdraw accounts and if he was doing a better job on paying off the loans you would not mind the cars
    This is it. I am sorry that I am horrid at explaining things. I would not mind the cars if he used the money he paid for the cars to pay off his loans. If the loans were paid off and he kept part of his income for future emergencies, then he is free to have as many cars as he would like. Hence why we bought the warehouse and the loft above it as our home with tons of parking.

    He supports my horses and I support his cars, but I wish he was less cavalier about spending on cars when he has loans to pay off.

    I am happy that others have had long relationships without marriage. Thank you all for the advice and I appreciate everyone's point of view.
    I am on my phone 90% of the time. Please ignore typos, misplaced lower case letters, and the random word butchered by autocowreck.




  11. #31
    Join Date
    Sep. 26, 2008
    Posts
    1,294

    Default

    since you two live together and own a home together, I would check with an attorney re common law marriage and see if you do break up if you will have any legal obligations regarding his finances



Similar Threads

  1. Alright...what happened???
    By altermetoday in forum Hunter/Jumper
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: Apr. 12, 2012, 01:05 PM
  2. Alright color experts...
    By irkenequine in forum Sport Horse Breeding
    Replies: 70
    Last Post: Jun. 2, 2010, 10:59 PM
  3. So Cal Earthquake- Everyone Alright?
    By mypaintwattie in forum Off Course
    Replies: 51
    Last Post: May. 20, 2009, 02:23 AM
  4. Alright.... I am New... suggestions?
    By zooksuitriot in forum Dressage
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: Nov. 5, 2008, 10:00 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •