The Chronicle of the Horse
MagazineNewsHorse SportsHorse CareCOTH StoreVoicesThe Chronicle UntackedMarketplaceDates & Results
 
Results 1 to 11 of 11
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2011
    Location
    East Longmeadow, MA
    Posts
    2,860

    Default spinoff on kidney disease thread - consumed with guilt

    In reading recent kitty kidney disease/megacolon threads, I have learned things that I did not know when my beloved Simon had problems with both last year that led to me putting him down possibly MUCH earlier than I should have. It is driving me crazy. I did not know about anti-nausea drugs, or drugs you could give to help with the constipation. I don't know why my vet didn't suggest these, I certainly would have tried them if I had known about them.

    My vet is very well respected and has been around for years. He owns a large practice that also has a 24/7 emergency practice. He and I became very close over the past 10 years or so and he actually came to my house to put poor Simon down.

    I am now just kicking myself and am consumed with guilt that I didn't do everything possible for my poor boy.
    What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2004
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    18,941

    Default

    To an animal, today is forever. If they feel like crap today they think they will feel like that forever. You released him from that belief which is a most wonderful gift. Godspeed. Let it go.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2010
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    341

    Default

    (((hugs))))

    We all do the best we can with the information we have. Don't feel guilty or beat yourself up. You did your best - that is all we can hope to do.

    Are there things I feel guilty about - you betcha! On bad days I cry about them, but I try not to let them consume me, which is easier said than done.

    You've learned things which will help you and your kitties in the future if needed.

    I'm not good with words, but the bottom line is that you loved your cat, he loved you and he had a wonderful life with you. There are always going to be things that we wish we could change, but usually they come after the fact and that darn hindsight is always 20/20.

    Big hugs to you!
    Stephanie



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 25, 2012
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    1,954

    Default

    Oliver Reed, I so know what you are talking about! My old kitty died of renal failure, and I wish I knew then what I know now! The vet also is a nice, well trained person but.....made some choices I regret (and I went along with). They never recommended anti nausea meds, appetite meds, nothing (he did get subq for several years). I will say this though - CRF (Chronic renal failure) for my kitty was not going to get better, regardless of what they did. One way or another, it was going to go downhill. As far as I know, thats still pretty true - the meds just help make them comfortable but its not like there is a "cure", and I even have the Epogen (nooooot cheap, not sure I 'd do that again either)

    My kitty knew he was adored. He was surrounded by love (I know these things are true for your kitty!). He did not linger and suffer (and people talk of their cats going into seizures they can't stop, NOTHING that I would have wanted for my cat). I absolutely know my kitty crossed with love.

    so, even though I would do things differently, in the end the result would have been the same. What is hard is that I just miss him. I wanted him for longer (forever!). I hate renal disease and I hate that they can't fix it. But any cat that is loved, that has an owner who is invested in relieving their discomfort, however that goes, is a very lucky cat. Many many many do not have that.

    Hugs to you and prayers for your sweet kitty (all of our sweet kitties).


    2 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2009
    Posts
    470

    Default

    I recently lost a very special cat named Simon. He was in early stage renal failure (for almost a year) and had crippling arthritis. Managing his pain was always a balancing act because the meds were going to eventually blow out his organs. I chose to let him go before it was a daily scramble to keep him comfortable. OMG, did I ever regret that the next morning! But… almost two weeks later I can look at this video of him on the “last day”, tweaked out on kitty morphine and feeling better than I’d seen him in a while and understand it was the right choice.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvrAlmZq5Vo

    Don’t beat yourself up. Being loved until the end is more important to a cat than a bunch of medical interventions for the same outcome.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,514

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurierace View Post
    To an animal, today is forever. If they feel like crap today they think they will feel like that forever. You released him from that belief which is a most wonderful gift. Godspeed. Let it go.
    More of this.

    My current cat is a loyal old lady who has a number of problems that each chip away at her quality of life. None of which, however, has made her obviously say "Uncle."

    I hate the watching/waiting/managing/questioning. Just think: If you had done everything to keep Simon around for a long time, you too could have this ungroovy experience!

    All of us do the best we can with what we have or know at the time. So long as you show up and do that for each animal and "pay forward" to the next one what you learned, you are doing the right thing. Really, we cannot do otherwise. But if you try hard with each one, that's good enough.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2002
    Posts
    525

    Default

    Oliverreed - you are not alone. I'm currently in the opposite boat - my boy went to have bladder stones removed & ended up with a surgery to turn him into a her (he had stones in his urethra). I would never do this to a cat, but he was on the table & I had to make a decision & I couldn't let him go. I'm currently beating myself up for putting him through this. Unfortunately we're all faced with these dilemmas as medical advances are made. Vets all have their own opinions based on their experience & you just can't second guess yourself or you'll go crazy. Enjoy the memories that you have & know that your kitty didn't suffer. And know that you were the best Mom Simon could have asked for. Hugs - Kristin



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2008
    Location
    Outside Ocala FL - Horse Capital of the World
    Posts
    6,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Laurierace View Post
    To an animal, today is forever. If they feel like crap today they think they will feel like that forever. You released him from that belief which is a most wonderful gift. Godspeed. Let it go.
    Amen to this. It is not about the quantity of life, but the quality, and you did what you could. Be kind to yourself.
    There are friends and faces that may be forgotten, but there are horses that never will be. - Andy Adams



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2011
    Location
    East Longmeadow, MA
    Posts
    2,860

    Default

    Thank you SO much, everyone. And Ken - I had a friend who had to have that surgery on her cat and he did just fine afterwards.
    What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2009
    Posts
    8,148

    Default Please be kind to yourself ~ ((hugs)) ~

    oliverreed ~ first ((hugs)) and tears for your loss

    please be kind to yourself ~ your vet would not have allowed any mistake ```

    Your vet knew

    You knew

    and dear Simon knew it was time

    for the kindest ending possible ~

    given more time hopefully you will be refilled with the good memories of Simon ~ and feel some peace ~

    and when it is time i hope you will be brave enough to throw your heart out to another cat who needs to be loved like Simon was loved ~

    ((hugs))



    Zu Zu Bailey " IT"S A WONDERFUL LIFE !"


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul. 26, 2001
    Location
    Toronto, Canada.
    Posts
    6,132

    Default

    I wouldnt want to live on daily anti-nauseants, receive enemas and laxatives daily. Thats not the way I want to go out.

    Acute cases with a good long term prognosis, sure. Chronic end stage renal disease? No. You did the right thing, 100%.



Similar Threads

  1. Chronic kidney disease
    By rubygirl1968 in forum The Menagerie
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: Feb. 11, 2013, 08:03 AM
  2. Calcitriol for cat with kidney disease
    By Peggy in forum Off Topic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Jul. 2, 2012, 06:08 PM
  3. Old kitty & advancing kidney disease
    By Sanely Eccentric in forum The Menagerie
    Replies: 6
    Last Post: Apr. 16, 2012, 10:19 AM
  4. Spinoff thread: Do horses get Lyme disease?
    By Lulu in forum Horse Care
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: Oct. 30, 2009, 11:25 AM
  5. Kidney Disease??? :(
    By Firefilly in forum Horse Care
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: Nov. 24, 2008, 04:04 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •