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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2008
    Location
    Longing to be where I once was.....
    Posts
    2,157

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    Why wouldn't it be? Not everyone desires to be married or even should be married. Just tell those who can't mind their own business to do so and go on with your life. Some people marry way later in life if they choose.



  2. #22
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2004
    Posts
    331

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    I was VERY happy being single!!! So happy, secure in my hobbies/life path/friends, etc... I did what I wanted when I wanted to. If I felt like taking off for the weekend, I did it. Never thought about shopping/what to make for dinner/dealing with someone else's family or ex wife or kids, etc/ didn't have to answer to anyone....
    I was 37 when I met my guy I am truly grateful that meeting him didn't happen sooner. I was so ready when 'it' happened. I can now appreciate a great relationship and I don't sit around wishing that I had done 'this or that' instead of getting married too soon, etc.



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2001
    Location
    Cullowhere?, NC
    Posts
    8,537

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    You are MUCH healthier for knowing how to be comfortable with being alone, and you are MUCH more likely to find a good relationship, should it come along, than you would be if you were desperate to find a "mate". Just let life happen. You'll be fine. You are not obligated to please anyone but yourself in this, and you still have plenty of time. Relax and enjoy it!
    "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

    Spay and neuter. Please.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  4. #24
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2000
    Location
    Greenville, MI,
    Posts
    11,700

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    IT most certainly is! And I wish I had stayed that way 15 years ago, but now that I am again, I would never get married again! Single is great. If you find THE right person, Then that is great too, But don't fret about it. Enjoy your life!
    "you can only ride the drama llama so hard before it decides to spit in your face." ?Caffeinated.



  5. #25
    Join Date
    May. 4, 2003
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    13,103

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    You re just a girl, yet = let life unfold as it will in due time.
    Proud member of People Who Hate to Kill Wildlife clique



  6. #26

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    Quote Originally Posted by Toaster View Post
    I am 20 something just out of college with a good job, I spend most of my free time working and riding at the barn.

    I have done the dating thing (though never been in a serious relationship) and I am just not into it. I like being by myself, making my own schedule and not having to deal with anyone else and run thing on my own time. I like being able to spend all my time and money on horses and showing. I have friends that I hang out with but I have basically no desire to find an SO.

    Is it ok to just be single? I understand the joys you have when you are in a relationship but I guess I am just as happy being alone (but not lonely). I just feel so much pressure from friends, family, and society that now that I am getting up there in my 20's I'm expected to be getting married and preparing for kids. I'm just not sure if that is what I want for myself, though I realize I might change opinions on it as I get older.

    I guess I am scared I will regret it when I am older and everyone I know has families. Outside of the social pressures I feel very confident and happy about being on my own. I'd love some advice and anecdotes from the lovely other horse people on COTH.
    Yes.

    It is okay to live your life in whatever way makes you happy. And if sometime in the future you feel the need for a SO, then that's fine too.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    7,417

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    There is nothing wrong with being single, and happily so. There is nothing as awful as being with someone, or married to someone because 'everyone else is married' or 'everyone expects me to get married'. The unhappiest people I know married because it was time, according to how they were raised, or because everyone else was married by their age. Virtually everyone I know that divorced or wish they were divorced wanted to call the wedding off, and didn't want to disappoint everyone, or though it was just cold feet and that feeling would pass-it didn't pass, and they're sorry now.

    Don' t ever do something as serious as date or marry someone to please anyone but yourself. Someday you might meet someone, and make a life with them, but you need to know who you are first. You're still young, and it's time to have some fun and enjoy life. Don't rush into anything because of someone else's idea of what you should do.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2011
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    1,297

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    Yes! Its ok! Actually its better than ok, single is awesome!

    I decided to take a break from dating a few years ago, and have not yet had the urge to return to the dating pool. Some of that is because I'm really busy, but the bottom line is I like where I am at right now and don't want or need an SO.



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jun. 8, 2008
    Posts
    777

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    It's totally fine. if/when you feel like it in the future it can happen. I'm still single (though not for long ;-) ) I have never been in a relationship, I struggled, wanted to be married by now, but God has His plan for me. It saves me from a broken heart to just wait, enjoy being single.

    I'm 25 and the guy I'm umm...interested in is 27. Fine age, he also wanted to marry younger, but now we are "investigating" each other so see if we want to move forward. (actually we do want to move forward, but are waiting for some family issues to work out first)

    Don't worry, if it happens, it happens. If not, then not.



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jul. 14, 2011
    Location
    Warren County, NJ
    Posts
    906

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    Quote Originally Posted by propspony View Post
    It's like you've channeled this whole post out of my mind, and summed it up perfectly. I did shorten it, just because it's been read once already, but I just wanted to say: You are NOT the only one. *sigh* I tried the "learn to tolerate people you really aren't that interested in because there are no other dating options" thing, and all it did was make me truly miserable, and break some undeserving hearts. I don't think it's a being picky thing for me, It's just that I... want someone that "fits" with me, ya know? Someone I actually find interesting, and have a real desire to get to know better. Not just someone that I feel sympathy for because they like me, and I feel that I owe it to them to give it a shot. Yeah... that just doesn't work well...

    and so, because such interest has yet to happen on a two-way street with both parties being available, and because I'm not willing to sacrifice my own sense of self and happiness for something that doesn't make me happy. I stay single. ;-)
    Well said.

    But, you're only in your 20s and you'll grow and evolve and maybe change your mind at some point. I'm 46, never married and out of relationships more than in them. I enjoy the companionship but prefer being on my own. If the right guy comes along I'm sure that will change. But I refuse to settle, change my values or my ways. When the time is right, the right person will come along and I'll have no doubt; for now, I'm content just as I am.

    FWIW, many married and divorced women tell me that I'm better off staying single. It keeps you looking younger too.

    It's better to be alone than wish you were.



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Apr. 2, 2009
    Location
    North Carolina
    Posts
    4,888

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    Abso-freaking-lutely. Our culture has a dearth of strong female role models or even fictional characters who don't require a partner for validation. It makes me insane. Do what YOU want to do, be YOU. Don't let anyone ever tell you that is less.

    I personally don't believe in marriage, although it does have its tax benefits. If you want to be in a committed relationship, then do so. When it doesn't work out, good heavens, end it, don't torture yourself or others because of a silly piece of paper.

    And no, I am not some bitter crone. I am 33 and have had a wonderful SO for seven years. Unfortunately, he recently had a malignant brain tumour removed and lost his memory, the past 31 years of his life, so now we just focus on him surviving and getting at least part of his life back. Point being, I was raised to be strong and independent -- this doesn't mean you don't know what love is. It just means that YOU are a complete entity and YOU get to choose how to live your life (well, except when shit happens, see above).



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