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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Sep. 4, 2012
    Location
    Southeast US
    Posts
    1,524

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    Roxyllsk, eharmony was the one I used, too. I discovered that they don't remove the profiles from their pool when people don't renew their membership, so you are getting matched up with people who aren't there anymore. Most of the guys you have messaged who have not responded are likely those guys.

    I was once matched up with a guy who had written in his comments section that he was not going to renew his membership when it expired, but gave his e-mail address in case anyone wanted to contact him. The date he said his membership was going to expire was 2 years before I got his profile as a match. I also got matches that had time-specific info that showed that they hadn't been around for a while, like "My big vacation for 2005 is going to be a trip to Spain! I can't wait!" And I got matched with them in 2007!



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2009
    Posts
    1,233

    Default

    Thanks - that makes me feel better LOL.

    I'm pretty comfortable with who I am at this point in my life but it is a bit of a downer when people don't respond to you.



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2011
    Location
    Southern Pines, NC
    Posts
    2,337

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    I'm too judgey for dating, period! For a young'un, I'm quite picky...
    I've heard there's more to life than an FEI tent and hotel rooms, so I'm trying it.



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
    Location
    between the barn and the pond
    Posts
    14,495

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    I would never have looked at my DH online. He's good-looking as can be, but spelling? Grammar? Not his forte. I'd have missed a real diamond in the rough if I was sweating the spelling bee


    2 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

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    I met quite a few really great guys on Match over the years, including my now husband.

    I think that when you're in the right frame of mind, the one where you sort of don't care that much and are in it for fun, it works out best.

    But I'm with you all. Grammar mattered as did chat speak. As did greased up pec pics in the bathroom mirror. LOL I guess I was looking for a sense of humor and authenticity.

    I have to say though, even if you go out on a BAD date, it makes for a good story. I have a LOT of good stories.

    I also have to wonder if people have better/worse results based on whether or not the site is a pay for service vs free? I didn't like eharmony because while I liked the concept of "knowing someone" vs looking at pics, it felt like a tremendous waste of time. There were some people who, had I known what they looked like before I spent time getting to know them, I would've just cut bait because the simple and honest truth is that there was no way an emotional attachment was going to overcome the lack of physical attraction.

    Best wishes on your endeavors!
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2005
    Location
    upstate New York
    Posts
    3,405

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    My first impulse was to say "I'm too judgemental to date at all!" and was surprised to see so many with the same response. But it's true. I did a lot of on-line stuff back in the day, talked with a bunch of men and dated some really quality guys. For various reasons, nothing panned out for long.

    The "one that got away", the one I fell head over heals in love with, was a set-up by his colleague, who I had chatted with online before he admitted that he was married and that's a deal breaker for me. But he did have the notion that I would get along quite famously with his co-worker and he was right. Five years later, I'm still sad about that break-up and the circumstances surrounding it.

    As it is, he set a standard that is so high that I would rather not date at all. I'm over it. If some wonderful guy just happened to enter my life, so be it. But I don't seek it and can't imagine going the on-line route ever again.



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jan. 3, 2012
    Posts
    200

    Default

    I met my husband online. He was too young, too far away, and he couldn't spell either! He didn't come up on my "searches" at all. He found me, and I'm so glad he did.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Sep. 1, 2007
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    328

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    I tried Match .com and found it to be terrible. Most of the guys weren't all that attractive and some didn't even want to talk just messaged me saying...I know you'll like me, it's guaranteed let's go for drinks. Ya NO! Even though I had in my profile the age range I was looking for 25-35 I still had men in their 50 and one in his 60's message me. I found alot of them annoying just in their messages, I couldn't even imagine what they would be like in person

    So I gave up. Yes I'm too picky but I always promised myself that I would never just settle for just ok. I have guys asking me out but they aren't the ones that I want to ask me out, if that makes sense lol

    Besides I kinda like being single. I haven't gotten my first cat just yet though



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Dec. 30, 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    910

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    I signed up for eharmony & Match, but I'm not at the point where I'm ready to pay for this, so POF it is. I never thought I would have a profile on that site. Some people seem so trashy! So far, no luck and I've been very disappointed.

    I went on one date. I made the mistake of getting to know the guy over the phone & via text for a week before we met up. We had so much in common and...his family even owned horses before! I thought this was great. I had seen one photo of him and found him reasonably attracted. Then we met. I swear this was not the same person! I am trying not to be shallow, but the guy looked like a crack head. I just couldn't do it.

    The next guy I "met" on POF turned out to be someone I had known 5 years ago. We hadn't dated 5 years ago and unfortunately I couldn't remember why until I met the guy in person again. It was OK, but he is not someone I find attractive physically or in any other sense.

    I give up for now.



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Mar. 15, 2007
    Location
    (throw dart at map) NC!
    Posts
    5,323

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    What sites do you guys use? I'm tempted...but I haven't mustered the activation energy yet.
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation



  11. #31
    Join Date
    May. 12, 2008
    Posts
    4,168

    Default

    What is POF?



  12. #32
    Join Date
    Jan. 14, 2006
    Location
    Nashville, TN
    Posts
    4,046

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    OKcupid is kind of fun, and free. Plenty of fish is the online dating version of shopping for horses on craigslist.

    Match and eharmony I have had NO luck with.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
    Join Date
    Mar. 15, 2007
    Location
    (throw dart at map) NC!
    Posts
    5,323

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    Quote Originally Posted by eponacowgirl View Post
    Plenty of fish is the online dating version of shopping for horses on craigslist.
    Hahahahahahaha!!!!
    Proud member of the Colbert Dressage Nation


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Location
    Chapel Hill, NC
    Posts
    1,764

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    I am 43 and divorced. I have an "acquaintance" who divorced soon after me (similar ages, I have one kid, she has 3, etc.). She hounded me to go out with her to meet guys (I'd been single a year, she'd been single 8 weeks). She was like a cat in heat--it was SO ANNOYING. She even basically "stole" the one guy I finally was chatting up on our 3rd or 4th adventure (where I was tasked to run interference because she had casually invited 2 different guys). I kicked her to the curb and she's engaged/building a house with a guy she met a few weeks later--she'll be married about 15 months after her divorce. It was her end game. No doubt any one of us could be too if that was our only criteria.

    My few dates in the past now 2+ years have been less than hopeful. Each one (and those were after weeding through a myriad of bad grammar, poor match age or some clearly stated criteria-wise) was worse than the next--the guy who got possessive after one date and had a complete melt down when I failed to text him back for an entire 24 hours; the guy who I had a great dinner with who shoved his tongue down my throat with both hands on my boobs when he walked me to my car; the guy who talked only about himself over coffee and how his ex girlfriend never felt comfortable in his (lotsa money) world.

    Sigh. I ain't got time for that shit. I have a great young daughter, and awesome horse I've brought alone and will show 3rd level this season, work full time, and have all the other crap I do on top of all that. A f'n fantastic guy is going to have to fall out of the sky and convince me to make time and effort at this rate!
    From now on, ponyfixer, i'll include foot note references.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #35
    Join Date
    Apr. 8, 2010
    Location
    South-Central PA
    Posts
    88

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    It's a bit terrible of me, but when a guy messages me, let alone has it on his profile, using text-speak and horrible spelling- it makes me feel like I'm better than them. It makes me feel like I'm smarter than them right off the bat, and that they aren't really focusing on me and my profile, just messaging different girls to get someone, anyone to answer. I don't need a whole essay typed out with perfect spelling and grammer (I'm not perfect and I like to use hyphens and parenthesis as shown here), but I'd like something more than "hey" or "hw r u?". None of this may be true at all with the guy, but it's what goes through my head when I see it and won't respond most of the time (my inner introvert coming out here).

    I don't really care about looks or height as long as they keep themselves clean (including teeth that have been cared for) and aren't a gargoyle.



  16. #36
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    4,102

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    Callidorre, I think your assessment that they are just firing off messages to lots of random women is correct. I last did online dating 14 years ago (it is how I met my husband of 10 years). Back then, text speak did not exist yet, so I didn't get that, but I got many, many sloppy and generic messages that were clearly not aimed at me in particular. I called it the "carpet bombing" approach...they contacted every female on the site, hoping one might respond. I never did, of course. I seriously doubt it ever worked for them, or if it did, they deserved what they got.

    I think it was much easier back then, there were a lot of people online, but EVERYONE and their dog wasn't, so it was mostly people who worked in technology and higher education, so the average education/intelligence level was probably a little higher. I heard from a lot of software developers and egineers, of course . Which is what DH is. It's the only way I could have met a Wisconsin farm boy turned software engineer transplanted to New England...someone very down to earth with a lot of education.



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2010
    Location
    Upstate New York
    Posts
    4,341

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MunchingonHay View Post
    The other thing that kills me is men that are in their 40's wanting kids. I am 36, I am getting up there in baby making age.
    Or guys in their 50's and 60's willing to date "from 18- " Bleccch. Yea - what prospects they are - to anyone!!

    Quote Originally Posted by NoSuchPerson View Post
    Men don't like to date women who have jobs that sound like they might make more money than the man does;
    My experience quite different. Have heard from a few - and know my exSO - who are frankly looking to be kept, now that they are retired, but can't live in the lifestyle to which they'd like to become acostomed.

    Quote Originally Posted by eponacowgirl View Post
    Plenty of fish is the online dating version of shopping for horses on craigslist.
    Being right half the time beats being half-right all the time. Malcolm Forbes



  18. #38
    Join Date
    Apr. 7, 2004
    Location
    NoVa
    Posts
    5,331

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Dazednconfused View Post
    You can have lots of things in common, have a high match percentage, and be two totally smart, cool people and there just be...nothing there?
    Totally agree! There is a lot to be said about chemistry. I met my bf of 3 years in a bar; probably never would have even opened his profile online. Don't get me wrong, he's a hottie, but when I first commented to my friend that night about that "sexy guy" checking me out, she responded, "he is SO not your type!" My reply? "Yah, but he's sexy in a dirty construction worker kind of way." heh. Little did I know that he was more educated than I (and I have a master's).....
    Amwrider: May the fleas of a thousand camels infest their genitalia and may their arms be too short to scratch.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #39
    Join Date
    Dec. 30, 2002
    Location
    Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    910

    Default

    I have issues with spelling, grammar & text speak, too. I'm trying to learn to be more open-minded, though and forgiving.

    The one thing that I cannot stand is the need to post photos of dead animals in profile pictures!!! I live in Northern Ontario, Canada. A lot of people fish, hunt, camp, etc. That's fine. I'm not anti-hunting by any means, but what is going through the minds of these men? Do they really think a woman would be attracted to a photo of a sweaty guy in camo next to a deer with a bullet wound? It kind of creeps me out.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2006
    Posts
    339

    Default

    I am too old for online dating. Back in the day we used the "Companion" section in the local newspaper. Some of the responses I received were very entertaining. Even met some very nice men though none of the clicked.

    Then one day I received a note from what seemed the perfect man for my life style. Unfortunately it was sent by the women I worked with who were playing a joke on me. That was very sad.



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