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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    VA (or MS during the school year)
    Posts
    2,513

    Default I'm falling hard for him... but he's 14 hours away... UPDATE!

    So, I've dated a few guys through high school/college. 2 were mutual break-ups who I remain close friends with to this day.
    My last BF I dated over a year and broke up with him because he was a fu*!ing a$$h0le. Verbally abusive, talked to me like I was stupid, constantly making fun of me and degrading me infront of other people, lying to make me look bad, always had to be right, got offended easily if I ever even questioned him, etc etc. I knew I had to break up with him when he was gone for 30 days w/ no communication and I was relieved I wouldn't have to talk to him for a whole month.

    Anyways, I've never really been into the southern guys and therefore haven't dated much while in college after I broke up with my last BF.

    Well, over break I met this guy at a place we both frequent. He introduced himself to me and we talked. We became facebook friends and I eventually gave him my number. We coordinated our schedules so that we were going to be there at the same time each day. We went out during break and have been talking every day, either on the phone or online, since. He is super super sweet. We've both admitted to each other how we feel and how much we like each other. We have plans to spend a lot of time together during spring break when I come home (and of course during the summer after I graduate). I'm falling hard for this guy.

    I don't know what to do. I'm just taking it slow and letting him lead. I feel like if he wanted to try the long distance thing I'd be willing to do it. If he just wants to remain friends, that's fine too. It just makes me disappointed that I'm so far away right now. I feel like we could be awesome together but I will probably never have the opportunity to find out.
    Last edited by Milocalwinnings; Mar. 31, 2013 at 09:26 PM.
    "People ask me 'will I remember them if I make it'. I ask them 'will you remember me if I don't?'"



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 7, 2005
    Location
    Lancaster, PA
    Posts
    4,990

    Default

    I assume he is at your home, and you will be at school for a few more months until you graduate, then return home?

    Why not remain friends for now, stay close via things like phone/e-mail/Facebook/Skype for the next few months, and then see where things pick up when you return home? Summer isn't that far away. If it is meant to happen it will still happen then.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    VA (or MS during the school year)
    Posts
    2,513

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by furlong47 View Post
    I assume he is at your home, and you will be at school for a few more months until you graduate, then return home?

    Why not remain friends for now, stay close via things like phone/e-mail/Facebook/Skype for the next few months, and then see where things pick up when you return home? Summer isn't that far away. If it is meant to happen it will still happen then.
    Yes, he's at home and I am at school.
    That's what my plan is for now. To continue talking, spend time with him when I am home during the semester, and then see what happens over the summer.
    "People ask me 'will I remember them if I make it'. I ask them 'will you remember me if I don't?'"



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun. 19, 2009
    Posts
    743

    Default

    Sounds like the start of my story. DH and I have been married a year and a half now

    We met at Mardi Gras (through a friend...it was legitimate ) while I was a Junior in undergrad in Louisiana and he was living in NC (14 hours) and kept in touch via Facebook and IMing (pre-Skype). After a year and a half of a long distance relationship I moved to NC to see if we could live near each other and still get along. Worked like a charm, but I had to go back to grad school and the only place I got in was back at LSU. We made it through another 2 years of long distance then I graduated, we got married, and life's great!

    Taking it slow is a good idea. Long distance relationships are hard and they take an enormous amount of trust and patience. Have fun and see where it goes!
    the "I'm In My 20's and Hope to Be a Good Rider Someday" clique



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2012
    Posts
    689

    Default

    The wife and I met on summer break in 1985 and dated long distance (MD to IN) for four years until we married, which is still going on strong.

    So yes, it can be done. And without e-mail, cellphones, facebook, skype, or any other technology other than the US Mail and an AT&T long distance phone card.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 26, 2011
    Location
    Its not nowhere, but you can see it from here
    Posts
    3,969

    Default

    I honestly think the long distance is great for early stages, because it makes you actually have to talk to each other instead of just er, um, canoe. There really has to be a great mental/emotional attraction to pull this off.
    DH and I met while living 2000 miles apart. By the time we met in person we had shared so much, simply because what else were we going to do but talk?

    Try it, see if it works. Good luck
    From AliCat518 "Seriously, why would you NOT put fried chicken in your purse?!"


    4 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Lorena, Texas
    Posts
    4,114

    Default

    DH and I 'met' online while playing a text-based game in 1992-1993. We were both dating other people and chatted and laughed a little now and again. Then in 1995, we were both single and started chatting a lot more. Then we talked on the phone a ton, then he drove from TX to MO (it was a 14ish hour drive) to meet me. We started traveling back and forth for about a year, and when I graduated I moved to Texas. We got married a year after I moved to Texas and have been married 15 1/2 years.
    Visit us at Bluebonnet Equine Humane Society - www.bluebonnetequine.org

    Want to get involved in rescue or start your own? Check out How to Start a Horse Rescue - www.howtostartarescue.com



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2008
    Location
    Florida, USA
    Posts
    779

    Default

    SO and I did long distance for the first year... worked out for both of us as we were SUPER busy working all the time on our ends.
    Think we saw each other 1 weekend every 3-4 weeks for the first 10 months.

    Now together 3 weeks per month during the winter... and I'm kind of dreading summer coming around where it will less time together.

    One thing is- you REALLY LEARN how to take full advantage of the little time you have together and make it count

    Taking things slow is a smart way to go... and don't over analyze too much. Sometimes it's nice to just see where things take you!
    Proudly living in my "let's save the world bubble"!



  9. #9
    Join Date
    May. 10, 2011
    Posts
    308

    Default

    Hey, maybe we can start our very own LDR support group, OP! I'm currently in one...and not my first one. I'm young - 25 years old. I've been in a relationship with a guy in NJ for about nine months now. I know, not a super long time. But like I said this isn't my first LDR. He is in NJ, and I'm well ...everywhere, LOL! I'm in FL November through April...and when I'm not in FL, I spend most of my time bouncing around the show circuit. So, besides the regular complications of a LDR, I also have the added aspect of a job that keeps me on the road. Unfortunately, the road never seems to lead to NJ!

    Anyway, like others have said, I feel like being in an LDR takes massive amounts of patience and trust. It's very hard, I'm not going to lie. It takes two very secure people. One of the hardest things I have had to deal with is that when we actually do get to see each other in person, there seems to be an adjustment period the first 12 hours or so that we're together. I know that sounds really odd. What I mean I guess is that we spend so much time interacting through the phone, Skype, Facetime, that when we actually get together in person, it takes a little bit to get used to it. Maybe that's just us, I don't know. I do know that as hard as it can be, with the right person, it is worth it. I'll share a little tidbit he said to me the other day that might be helpful. We are currently trying to coordinate when we can see each other next, and frustratingly, we have been constantly hitting roadblocks and it seems like we might not EVER get to see each other again! (Obviously not really, but it sure does feel that way.) I get frustrated, and he knows this. And he just said, "We'll figure it out. I'm not going anywhere, and you're not going anywhere." In my opinion, that sums it up nicely. That's an important aspect to an LDR - you both have to be committed to the damn thing, and not look for, uh, closer options or just give up when things get tough! Good luck, and feel free to PM me if you wish.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec. 21, 2008
    Location
    Missouri
    Posts
    2,201

    Default

    Just keep doing what your doing. The more you get to know him the better. The good thing about the distance is that the physical won't get in the way, all you can do is talk :-)



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan. 22, 2011
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    362

    Default

    My BF and I met one summer while he was visiting from FL and I was home from college in VA. Once we both went back to school, we were 16 hours away. He was worried about the distance so didn't make a move over the summer, but we couldn't stop talking so we actually started dating while we were away from each other. We've been dating for a year and a half and I think we know each other better than if we had been together the whole time. We talk on the phone every night and text each other throughout the day. It's hard, but it's rewarding to be in a long distance relationship.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    VA (or MS during the school year)
    Posts
    2,513

    Default UPDATE :)

    So, update

    We're now officially in a relationship... for a few weeks now but it honestly feels like it's been so much longer.

    I couldn't be happier. The long distance thing SUCKS because I miss him. A lot. But he's worth it. He's seriously the sweetest guy I've ever met. I really feel lucky to have him.
    "People ask me 'will I remember them if I make it'. I ask them 'will you remember me if I don't?'"


    8 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan. 17, 2008
    Location
    Dutchess County, New York
    Posts
    4,166



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2004
    Location
    Yew-stuhn, Texas
    Posts
    2,472

    Default

    And I can say with certainty since I know you IRL... He's cuuuuute! Happy for ya kiddo!
    View my photographs at www.horsephotoguy.zenfolio.com


    1 members found this post helpful.

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