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  1. #21
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    Aug. 2, 2004
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    Quote Originally Posted by NoSuchPerson View Post
    I've always figured stupid beauty is better. After all, more than one study has clearly demonstrated that, in general, stupid people don't know they're stupid. But, smart people know if they're not attractive.
    This is true. I was a very late bloomer, not in the boobs department, but in the everything else department. I didn't grow into my face/body until my mid-20s, and having a shallow and beautiful mother meant that I knew it, too. And I was smart enough to know it on my own, using my own eyeballs. However... I deal with the smart and dumb in my job, and seeing how they often DON'T get good jobs (unless you count clerking at the grocery store), OFTEN find themselves the victims of some sort of crime due to their inability to see consequences beyond the "now," and perhaps even find themselves the perpetrators of a crime due to several reasons (temper (again... consequences), fun-lovin' (consequences), and peer pressure to do things that a reasonable person who can see CONSEQUENCES wouldn't do), I still pick brains.

    A for example: an adult who is the victim of a crime, she is a 25-year-old high school grad, very pretty, writes a statement for me saying she has been "torchered." And was kicked in the "stomic." I can't reproduce the poor sentence structure because it would hurt too much, but let's just say that proper tense, grammar and the comma and period are strangers to her. And YESSSSSS I know that mere writing is not a proof of lack of intellgence.

    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    I understand...I would probably trade IQ points to be slim and pretty. Smart and hard work don't get you very far and they definitely don't get you smart + attractive in a partner.
    Who says an attractive partner is even desirable? What's attractive? My DH is not attractive per society's definition because he is hairy, but I think he's a hunk of a burning love. And he's smart.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl


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  2. #22
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    Oct. 26, 2007
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    Brains – It is sad that some feel that their intelligence is not an asset. New career path maybe? I have brains, not looks, and at work I get complimented on my insight and intelligence quite often. It’s a compliment I value, more than “you are gorgeous”.

    Many people that are “beautiful” really work hard on improving that beauty. Same goes for intelligence. Do not take it for granted, cultivate it.

    Growing up my sister was always complimented as “pretty” (tall, blond, even did some fashion modeling). I was the smart one, directed to the gifted programs in school, and praised for my brains.

    I was jealous of the attention her looks drew, she was jealous of the respect my intellect brought.

    Now, as adults in our 30’s and 40’s – She married rich (as one might expect), and lives a life full of luxuries. She has always been valued for her looks, not her intelligence – and that is a great source of pain for her. Looks are only skin deep, she wishes more people would look past them and value her for mind.

    I on the other hand, do not have that issue. I was not able to marry rich (hubby makes the same that I do), but my husband (who also has been tested and shown to have an above average IQ) values me for my mind (and says I am beautiful… beauty is in the eye of the beholder). Which is more important to me than if he valued my body.


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  3. #23
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    Jun. 16, 2011
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    Brains. We all get old and wrinkled eventually.


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  4. #24
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    Apr. 9, 2012
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    Ok, me... Brains. No contest. But then I've always thought that way, I am not vain and don't consider myself very superficial. Beauty may get you a foot in the door. But many jobs ultimately require you be relatively smart to move up.

    FWIW, I was very much sabotaged by a beautiful (kind of) and promiscuous colleague. I had given her a poor performance review. Yes, in the short run it helped her get ahead. But you can't hide behind your looks for long, no matter who you sleep with.

    I would rather get ahead in life on the basis of smarts and hard work. I'm old fashioned that way!!

    Edit: and think of all the good a person can do with brains!!!
    Born under a rock and owned by beasts!



  5. #25
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    Sep. 20, 2009
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    Depends on what you mean by brains...I'd be happy with not being the smartest person ever as long as I worked hard and enjoyed what I did. Leading an enjoyable and fulfilled life isn't based on your IQ level.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
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    Sep. 7, 2009
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    That's easy. I'll take brains any day.
    Join the Clinton 2016 campaign...Hillary For America. https://www.hillaryclinton.com/



  7. #27
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    Mar. 11, 2011
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    At the risk of sounding shallow, I'd rather have beauty.

    I've been the "smart" one, it's not all that great. All through high school, I never had a boyfriend. Boys never looked at me twice. I remember that there was one boy in my group of friends who dated every girl, except me.

    If I cut my hair short, I'll look like a boy. I don't have a feminine face (and acne runs in my family). Men just don't look my way unless I'm wearing a short skirt. I was smitten with one of my friends for years, and even though he knew, he never looked at me sideways.

    Yes, I'd trade I.Q. points for looks.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
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    May. 10, 2009
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    I don't know, I think people, especially men in positions of power (and therefore those who are often in charge of our employment) are intimidated by an extremely intelligent woman. I often think that's why I have trouble finding a job.

    I don't know, maybe it's the industry I'm in. Maybe I have some horrible personality flaw that I don't know about, but the men I'm attracted to never even look twice at me. Or rather, they like to hang out with me, love to use my brains for something, but look past me to the beauties in the romance department. Every. Single. One. Of them. Maybe my brains intimidate them, too, I don't know...

    I'm not a total dog's rear end, either. A bit overweight, average features, fantastic hair. Certainly not below average, but average. My IQ is above average. I could trade 20 IQ points toward the looks and still be above average. I used to be proud of that, but now, as I find myself totally alone and unemployed, I wish I COULD trade. Granted, I work in an industry (or would like to) where I'm surrounded by people who are beautiful and who date and marry other beautiful people, so maybe I just notice it more, or maybe it hurts more that it's plain that I'll never have one of those people and it's unlikely I'll have the job I want, either. So I just feel like a total failure.


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  9. #29
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    Sometimes those who feel they're overlooked due to their "lack of looks" may be projecting their personal self image enough that others pick up on it.

    As for dating or marrying someone atttractive...well that's a Catch 22 right there. To think they can't get an attractive date due to how they think they look...but then only wanting an attractive date. So the non-model guys must be feeling the same way.


    Never discount the guys who aren't traditionally handsome. Many of them are incredibly gorgeous on the inside and believe me when I say that after a short time with them, their outsides certainly match their insides. You will find them gorgeous...because they are. And all that matters is how you think they look. Don't hold out for the guy that everyone else thinks is handsome.

    This is why I'd always choose brains...tons of women can have a pro work on their hair and makeup and have an instant "frump to fab" My computer is being a witch right now...so Google Image 'Vadim Andreev'. But yeah, a makeover by a pro goes a LONG way to boosting self esteem.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte



  10. #30
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    Oct. 22, 2009
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    I'll take either! No, really.... it's better to be dumb and gorgeous or brilliant and average looks than to not be beautiful or intelligent. I'd happily take either choice.
    .


    2 members found this post helpful.

  11. #31
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    Must be nice to be able to afford to have someone work on your looks. I'm lucky if I can budget for a haircut every six months, let alone new clothes or anything else.

    I don't only want to attract attractive men, but I'd like to attract someone worth being with. I don't remember the last time I had a real date.

    And that wouldn't bother me if anyone wanted me for a decent job. But to be totally unwanted by everyone, everywhere...just plain sucks.

    As shallow as it is, I just think the more attractive you are, the easier everything is in today's society. Must be nice.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
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    Nov. 13, 2004
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    My sister and I have always joked that she's the pretty one and I'm the smart one, and I'm okay with that. My sister is one of those bitches you'd love to hate if she weren't so nice- she's got a good head on her shoulders, works hard, and oh by the way, she's gorgeous. I'm not upset with what I see in the mirror, but I think my brain is my most attractive feature. (I also think it's the most attractive feature in anyone I date!)
    "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep."
    - Harry Dresden

    Horse Isle 2: Legend of the Esrohs LifeCycle Breeding and competition MMORPG



  13. #33
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    Jul. 19, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheJenners View Post


    Who says an attractive partner is even desirable? What's attractive? My DH is not attractive per society's definition because he is hairy, but I think he's a hunk of a burning love. And he's smart.
    I want a partner I'm actually willing to have sex with. I've gone on dates with some nice, smart, guys, who were dull personalities and I'd rather vomit than sleep with them. Smart doesn't mean interesting (book smart DEFINITELY doesn't; some of the most interesting people I know don't have college degrees, and quite a few are a lot richer than I am) and there's not much point in dating someone with a great personality if you'd rather being cleaning the litter box than sleeping with them. Been there, dated the "unconventional looking" guys, and they're just as unappealing to speak to as look at.


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  14. #34
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    Nov. 13, 2005
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    Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Seriously. I dated a few knockout but seriously stupid guys who actually became less attractive the more I got to know them. Stupid is NOT attractive, regardless of how it is packaged. My sister is marrying a freakishly smart man who becomes more attractive the more you get to know him because he is such a good, smart person. HenryisBlaisin, have you tried a mini- makeover to boost your confidence? I am so sorry you are feeling low and genuinely wish I could do something to help.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #35
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    Mar. 12, 2006
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    An iq of 100 isn't an elk hunter. So if the choice was 100 and gorgeous or 130 and plain I'd opt for gorgeous. I believe, from my life experiences, that the beautiful ones have a better chance of a good life. And this is true not only for people, but animals.
    "All top hat and no canter". *Graureiter*


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
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    Oct. 11, 2007
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    Well I got the brains in spades, and the beauty bus rumbled on by and spit some exhaust on me. Being built like a Welsh peasant -- think a younger, thinner Mrs. Patmore from Downton Abbey if you watch that show -- isn't exactly a recipe for beauty. When my husband and I visited Wales and Cornwall a few years back, I just kept looking around and saying, "these people look like me!"

    Over time, I've come to appreciate the brains more than the beauty. But that is mostly because I spend most of my time with really smart people... and beauty fades. I know many beautiful women who've "lost their looks" as they've become older, and been unable to deal with that. Suppose I'd feel the same if I started losing my brains, but so far, they seem more permanent.

    (I've has some weird experiences along the way, such as, when I was in my early 20s, being probably the only woman to get a job working for a certain professor at my college without sleeping with him. He admired my brains, didn't want to sleep with me, and trust me, he was NOT picky. That kind of did a number on my self-esteem.)

    And my husband? Thinks I'm beautiful and sexy, even if 99% of the rest of the world wouldn't agree. That helps.
    You have to have experiences to gain experience.

    Proudly owned by 1998 Morgan mare Mythic Feronia; G-dspeed Trump & Minnie; welcome 2014 Morgan filly MtnTop FlyWithMeJosephine


    3 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
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    May. 15, 2005
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    I just did some googling for IQ charts and found the Stanford-Binet Scale of Human Intelligence, (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/IQ_reference_chart), I can afford to swap some points for looks, woohoo!!
    where am I, what day is it, am I still having a good time?



  18. #38
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    Dec. 14, 2007
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    Who defines average, Couture TB?? Seriously. That's crazy talk. You're lovely!

    I find all different kinds of men attractive. Based partly on what I find attractive personally and their personality traits. I need smart. Quick. Funny. I've been with guys who I thought were hotter than the surface of the sun, lol. Didn't last long when we couldn't laugh together.

    I have a male friend who really likes blondes. Like to the point where he's having a tough time being with a brunette girl who checks all the other boxes. Go figure.

    I'm with the folks who say you can change looks but not your brains!
    Audaces fortuna iuvat.



  19. #39
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    Alrighty then...I throw in the towel.

    FWIW...you can get a makeover without breaking the bank. And if a person would rather complain about an issue of unfairness of genes or whatever than do something about it...I can't think of anything to suggest.
    If a person can budget for a horse, they can figure out a way to spend a month's board (or less) on a big esteem boost.

    Also can't figure out a response to "I want to be thin and pretty because I'm not sexually attracted to guys that aren't hot."

    As stated...pretty can be achieved. Intelligence cannot. And if a person is intelligent enough, they figure out a way to be both smart and attractive. Or at least figure out that attractive is achieved first inside the head, then on the outside.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte


    4 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
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    Jan. 14, 2005
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    Aiken SC / Fay NC
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    Quote Originally Posted by danceronice View Post
    I understand...I would probably trade IQ points to be slim and pretty. Smart and hard work don't get you very far and they definitely don't get you smart + attractive in a partner.

    Yep. I have a lot of IQ points, I would trade a lot of them for "skinny"
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