Yeah, I know it's time to give up the dream. What else I can do, IDK. I don't have a lot of marketable skills outside of writing, can't afford to go back to school to get them. And the real shame is that I am damn good at what I do. The PR job I could do better than at least half the people doing it (I know; as a journalist, I work with them). But I'll end up working at Walmart or something for the rest of my life because nobody will give me a chance to do anything decent.
One thing I wil NEVER, ever do is tell a kid that if they're smart and work hard, they can do or be anything they want. It's a load of BS. I wish I hadn't been lied to for my entire childhood and even into adulthood about that.
The "poor me" attitude is probably a lot more responsible for you not having the success in life that you want than your looks.
Looks matter if you choose a career that is in front of a camera, or the public. Telling a kid they can be anything they want if they are smart and work hard is mostly true. But being smart also means that if you are 5'2" and 190 lbs, you need to "smartly" realize that you aren't going to be a runway model.
I don't think I project that in anything, certainly not in a cover letter. Most people in my life would be genuinely surprised to learn that I'm not perfectly happy. When I'm working in the garage/racetrack, I have a smile on my face (because I AM genuinely happy when I'm there, happier than when I'm anywhere else), talk to everyone I know and some that I don't. I network like crazy, people know I'm looking (which is how you get a job inside the sport mostly). I just don't know what else to do. I am good at what I do; I was the first writer ever to win an NMPA award while working for an independent outlet; I'm still one of two and the only multiple winner from an independent. I guess I though that would open some doors.
But damn, there's a part of me that wants to walk through the garage and turn heads.
Henry are you following up and calling? What does your format look like? Is it eye catching? They open millions of attachments try to make your classily eye catching (IE don't go crazy but make sure it looks modern) before reading it.
You can do it, you're doing them a favor by applying... just keep telling yourself that until you believe it. Confidence is much sexier than a pretty face, especially professionally.
I am when I can. So many places specifically tell you not to call and want online only. If there is an email address and not just an electronic application process, I do follow up.
My current editor reviewed my resume and cover letter and was the one who suggested the current format I use. It's clean and classic, IMO. The only thing I don't love is that he was adamant about keeping to one page, which does leave some information off that could be relative to some jobs (though it's also old).
Go Fish mentioned Hillary Clinton a few pages back, and she is one of the people who comes to mind for me.
I think she is beautiful, but looking at her pictures from highschool and university, I am pretty sure she decided early on that she was the 'Smart Girl' and not the Pretty One.
And now, after all her years of hard work and success, I still hear (and see) people commenting on her looks, her hairstyle, her pantsuits, and now the fact that she is a bit wrinkled...
and somehow 'dismissing' her in the process.
The other side of the coin? Women like Scarlett Johansen, Eva Longoria, Christy Brinkley - intelligent, articulate, politically aware women who are somehow dismissed because they are beautiful.
Men don't get treated this way - and I find that women can be the worst in their biases.
I was like Hillary, one of the smart girls in school. I had that frightening reddish blonde hair, no eyebrows or eyelashes, pale green eyes and freckles...think Carrie - and preferred horses over boys.
I did not have a date until the last year of highschool....
Even my mother referred to me as 'ugly' and my grandmother, in an attempt to console me told me I had "a nice plain face, like her".
My self image was as the plain smart girl...
Then something changed,I was the same person, but suddenly people started to consider me 'beautiful'.
It was bewildering. I got jobs that were helped by looks (I paid my way through university working as a flight attendant), I worked as a model (a lingerie model!) and on television...
But what I found (sadly) is that I was never resented for my brains, but I was resented for my looks, and again that came from other women.
What I learned is that so much of that is perception from outside - other people's opinions biases, insecurities, stereotypes.
I also understood, even as a young woman, that looks fade, even great beauties get old, and what really counts is the person you are.
i have done everything you're supposed to do. For over a year. I have been ASKED to apply for positions and never heard back or gotten an interview.
Well, unless you're putting your picture on your resume, I fail to see how your looks have anything to do with you not getting asked in for an interview.
There are MANY people looking for jobs right now. I think sometimes resumes can get lost in the colossal jumble of resumes a company receives for a position. I do think networking is the best way to go, when someone specifically can recommend you for a position. You do seem very down on yourself, though, and that could be affecting the way you interact with people. Sometimes you may think you are projecting a certain image (e.g., happy), but astute people can see through that.
You should also consider expanding your career interests, for the simple fact that if you want only one type of position in one industry, there are less of those positions available and it will be more difficult to get the job.
I would not be in the position I am today (VP level) if I was relying on my looks. It is my brains that got me in the door, and my brains that have kept me there. And I have NEVER hired someone based on whether they were beautiful/handsome. NEVER. And I never will.
Do you have resumes out there on sites like Monster? Linked In?
I've been working for 28 years and have noticed that, in the last 10 years or so, applying for jobs has really changed. It used to be you looked at job posting in the newspaper (and later on the Internet), sent in your resume or cover letter and, at least sometimes, someone contacted you for an interview.
The last few times I've looked for a job, taking that approach resulted in not a SINGLE response of any kind, not even a polite "not interested". And, my skills, education and experience are actually in pretty high demand right now, and have been for some time (health care IT). When I put my resume on Monster and DICE (this is more for technical people) and just kept it up to date, employers contacted ME, frequently and I got interviews and subsequent job offers. It seems they like to find you rather than vice versa and that HR departments are overwhelmed with the number or resumes coming in.
Here's an example. The job I hold right now. I actually applied for it online, on my own, after seeing the posting on the company's web site. Nothing. No response whatsoever. Whatever, I found something else and forgot about it. Six months later, my employer contacted ME. Seems they'd had so much trouble filling this position that they'd hired a recruiter to find someone. He found my resume (exact same one I'd submitted on their web site) on Monster and I was hired within, I'm not kidding, a week...they'd been looking for someone just like me and couldn't find anyone!!! So, they paid this guy about $20-25K to find a person whose resume had been sitting in their "circular file" for six months. Ridiculous waste of money.
But, that is the way things seemd to be going these days.
Do you have a solid resume out there on the Internet, in places where employers and head hunters look? Have you tried working with a head hunter/recruiter yet? Some stink and just want to amass a lot of resumes, but some can be helpful. As far as networking goes, it works best if you can skip the HR department and find someone who can put your resume right on a hiring manager's desk.
I'd certainly trade IQ points for being naturally slim and pretty. No doubt. Ignorance is bliss, ya know I don't think it equally translates to men, most of the time as long as a man has good hygiene and isn't disfigured in some way looks don't count so much in attraction, really. But for men, the first thing they notice about a woman is her appearance, it's simply the way humans are wired. I mean, yeah, I could do all the makeover type things and bump my score up a bit, but so far there is NO help for stretch marks, and I'd seriously go to many lengths to banish them
Originally Posted by enjoytheride
That's got to be expensive, how much oil can you press out of a chipmunk?
If I had to chose between the two I would pick brains over beauty. I enjoy being reasonably intelligent. I am also fortunate in that I am reasonably decent looking. I work with folks who are often below average in intelligence and trust me you wouldn't want that. Actually people with cognitive deficits who don't realize that they are "different" can be pretty happy. But folks who are not intellectually "up to par" and are aware of their deficits are often quite depressed. It is true that attractive people generate a halo effect in that people assume them to be more competent etc. But perhaps more important than either is having good people skills and a great sense of humor. The reality is we get our "hand" of cards in life and have to make the most of it. And beauty fades. At almost 50 I don't have the looks I had when I was younger but I still have my intelligence. And I will always have my sense of humor!