And it's very often the tiniest people who feel the most pressure to stay tiny. I try not to be indignant but it really bothers me when people comment on my small size, even when it's meant as a compliment. I'm naturally small; I'm not small because I starve myself or exercise excessively or purge after eating the tasty meal on my plate. And it makes me feel incredibly self-conscious when people make that assumption or congratulate me for the "work" I've done. I'd much rather people tell me I "look good today" than say, "wow, have you lost weight?" when I have neither lost weight nor have been trying to do so. It would be one thing if I'd voiced my struggles and concerns about my weight, but to receive unprompted comments about my size makes me question my past behaviors and habits. When you're receiving such a "compliment", don't you want to live up to it? I promise, you're not doing a skinny girl a favor by praising her skinniness.
We'd do better to ignore size and promote things that people have more control over, like horsemanship and athletic skills.[/QUOTE]
I completely understand what you are saying!! As someone who is also naturally small to have people constantly making comments about your size does mess with you head. When I got married almost 9 yrs I weighed 88lbs at 21. (I'm 4'11") That was up from the 83lbs that I was just a couple months prior and involved me having to keep track of what I was eating and the calories. I'm now 95lbs. Do I think I weigh too much? Yes. I know it's irrational and I always wonder when I see someone that I haven't seen in a long time if they think I've put on weight, as in I'm heavy. I was diagnosed as having an eating disorder which I wasn't consciously doing (I also have anxiety problems that revolve around my stomach and not feeling good which complicate things) But at my last job I worked with two girls (one was like 5'10" super skinny-like between her hip bones was totally concave, her pants touched her on the hip bones but not in between) and they were constantly talking about losing weight, how little they have eaten, what strange diet kick they were on, their stupid cleanses, what they were going to do that night at the gym. It was unhealthy for them, but it was also unhealthy for me. I was mentally thinking I needed to compete and be skinnier. Now at my new job I'm with a more mature group of women that have more important things to think about than their weight and working out and I rarely even weigh myself anymore. It's exhausting to keep up with girls like those two were. On the flip side there is nothing like having a 40-60ish something woman tell you "I used to be skinny like you." And they weight like 200lbs. When I was riding when I was 83lbs was I less effective? yes. I still considered myself to be strong, I rode, I handled 1500lb cattle everyday, sheep etc. But I didn't have the stamina. I knew I was tired a lot but didn't really attribute it to my weight until later.
Star's Ascent... you're lucky that the women in your current workplace don't obsess about weight, dieting etc. In my workplace, it's constant. Like never-ending. Luckily, I'm the "geek" of the group so people assume I'm "weird" anyway, and very good at putting on that "it doesn't bother me and I'm going to ignore it" face, so I don't get constantly asked what I am eating, teased for what I eat, asked to join diet challenges and then harassed for losing too much/too little, etc. But it does bother me, and I am just happy that I am far enough removed from my own "disordered eating" days that it doesn't trigger me.
(For the record, I'm a little heavy, just a little. Built along Mindy Kaling lines, at 5'1" my ideal weight is around 130 pounds; at 120 my bones stick out. I've maintained at 140-145 for the past few years, eating what I want to when I want to, riding being my main exercise, knowing that the Eq ring would never have had a place for someone like me when I was younger, and not caring so much.)
I'm pretty sure PARENTS should be doing that, not trainers.
Seconding THIS, and big-time! For that matter it sounds as though each and every person posting to this thread is mature and intelligent enough to figure out what behaviors are unhealthy and what is common sense.
Yes, we all get compliments if we lose weight. Did you know why? There's a big, fat ELEPHANT in the room here. It's called "perception of socio-economic status."
The last time it was fashionable to be fat was around the era of King George III. He was a gouty whale, most of his people lived on bread and dripping and were starving. Somewhat earlier, the paintings of Rubens and his ilk show some very well-fed cherubim and nymphs. Why was this the societal ideal? Because for the average peasant it was close to unattainable.
Fashions of body-mass come and go. In the 1920's you were supposed to be a flat-chested twig. In the 30's and 40's into the 50's, buxom like Marilyn Monroe was the ideal. The "mod" models of the 60's spawned the current cycle of obsession with skinniness, and a huge, HUGE underlying factor for all of this is what fashion designers are marketing. Bear in mind that these are a cadre the majority of whom are gay men, who see a woman's body as a canvas for their art! You may think what is seen in Vogue doesn't affect what you wear, but it definitely DOES affect what is for sale in the stores--and the body you need to look OK in it.
Nowadays Being Fat is associated, like it or not, with lower socio-economic status. As in, the Urban Poor. People see someone busting out of their pants and think "My God, is it just stupidity, letting herself get that huge, or just so low on the totem pole she's given up and doesn't even CARE?" The implication is that one eats 3 meals a day a McDonalds, washes it down with cookies and super-sized Coke, and never moves off the couch in Bed-Sty. Completely the reverse of the George III days, skinniness is the Holy Grail. Why? For most, in our present food culture, unattainable!
Presently the "health" wonks have so overemphasized thinness as "healthy" that the truth gets very obscured. Yes, rampant obesity otherwise known as full-blown Metabolic Syndrome greatly increases the odds of many awful diseases; but did you know that the actual best outcomes for both longevity and lowest morbidity & mortality, as consistently shown by meta-analysis, show a BMI of 26 to 27 as actually the "healthiest" range? Being too fat is no good; being too skinny is every bit as bad and sometimes even worse!
As always, look to see "Who Profits?" Take a look at the billions spent every year on gyms, exercise equipment, "registered dieticians," diet scams, books, and clubs of all descriptions. Now look at the processed food industry and where THEIR value added comes in. Don't expect any of this to change any time soon; the medical profession goes on searching for the Magic Pill, which you'll be charged dearly for, and will likely have some side effects you won't want.
A LOT less "science" worthy of that name than people think has actually been done, and a great deal of what we are told by "experts" is simply WRONG. 95% of the "health" info you hear is penned by someone with money to be made. If it were not so, everyone you see on the street today would be a perfect size 8.
Intelligent individuals can make up their own mind by doing their own research, listening to their body and not the socio-economic background noise, and that includes GM.