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  1. #1

    Default Just a little vent: DH doesn't clean ANYthing!

    Okay, I love my DH -- he is the best, kindest more wonderful husband a person could ask for. But ... he does not clean ANYthing!

    He was "helping" with the horses earlier this spring while I was sick and I am just now digging out the filth that he managed to create in the feed room! Oh my gosh -- does he not NOTICE if something spills?

    He feeds the cats in there, too, which is fine except he also feeds them wet food and the empty cans of cat food are just stacked up and crawling with bugs!

    This is a very small room, maybe 8 ft. x 8 ft. -- and yet it is going to take me ALL DAY to clean it out, clean it up and get it reasonably workable again. It's not a nice room, it needs to be torn down and rebuilt -- but that is not in the budget right now. For the past 7 years I've just been working with what I have and trying to keep it clean and vermin-free.

    Ugh! It's just a MESS!!

    Okay, that's all. He's a great guy, wouldn't trade him, glad I've got him. Just wish he would carry a handi-wipe or something!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 17, 2002
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    between the barn and the pond
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    Default

    maybe you need a blog.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jul. 3, 2012
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    But but but...he helped when you were sick. Bless his heart. Bake him a cake or something!
    Ride like you mean it.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2005
    Location
    Spotsylvania, VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by ezduzit View Post
    But but but...he helped when you were sick. Bless his heart. Bake him a cake or something!
    Exactly. The easiest way to convince someone to never ever help you again is to complain about the way they did something
    I wasn't always a Smurf
    Penmerryl's Sophie RIDSH
    "I ain't as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
    The ignore list is my friend. It takes 2 to argue.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 23, 2004
    Location
    Sisters, Oregon
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    Hey Now!

    A girl can vent to her friends without being an ungrateful lout!
    Kanoe Godby
    www.dyrkgodby.com
    See, I was raised by wolves and am really behind the 8-ball on diplomatic issue resolution.


    14 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Aug. 4, 2008
    Posts
    122

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    Agreed. Oftentimes the purpose of venting to someone else is so you don't end up fussing at the original person. We all need to blow off a little steam occasionally.

    Quote Originally Posted by CDE Driver View Post
    Hey Now!

    A girl can vent to her friends without being an ungrateful lout!


    11 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2003
    Location
    Windward Farm, Washougal, WA- our work in progress, our money pit, our home!
    Posts
    6,693

    Default

    Oh, KR-- do I feel your pain, sister! Vent away, we've all been there. And, honestly, if you don't vent to someone, bad things happen in relationships. Mr. CC is a wonderful man, and I love him dearly, but he is the laziest man on earth. I have to prod him to do anything, and basically treat him like a teenager: I write a list of chores, and he works his way down it if I nag him. I hate nagging.

    I have to have foot surgery (ugh!) and am trying to figure out the best time to do it because Mr. CC is the worst stall cleaner, and has been known to leave stall doors open after feeding! He just doesn't see the mess he leaves behind, like a trail of open doors, dirty dishes, lights left on, tools set down and forgotten, ladders left out, paint drops.... sigh.

    Good luck on shoveling out the feed room!
    Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug. 31, 2006
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    Thank you CC -- I guess misery loves company sometimes! It's true -- I was just venting, and have not and will not say anything to DH. He sounds exactly like Mr. CC -- except Mr. KR is not lazy at all. Cannot call him lazy, but your statement "Mr. CC is the worst stall cleaner, and has been known to leave stall doors open after feeding. He just doesn't see the mess he leaves behind, like a trail of open doors, dirty dishes, lights left on, tools set down and forgotten, ladders left out, paint drops ..." is him to a "T."

    It took me all day, but the feed room is clean. I also took all the feed out last night, closed the doors and set off a bug bomb. Moved everything back in today.

    I THINK one solution will be to make it easier for him to clean up. I put in a bigger trash can WITH liner bags, a bottle of spray cleaner and a new box of those heavy-duty workshop paper towels. Oh, and I moved the shop vac in as well! When he gets home, I will show him where everything is, and maybe he will get the hint. But I sure won't scold him or nag him -- wouldn't work anyway!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr. 29, 2006
    Location
    Evansville, Wisconsin
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    I agree that a little venting is healthy, and I can totally relate to this. As a stay-at-home mom I sometimes felt like I didn't contribute enough to the household, but being laid up this spring certainly cured me of that notion. It was easy to see how much I was doing once none of it was getting done. My DH was also kind enough to feed the animals and give them water, and he took my son to school, and even did the cooking (if you can call it that - lots of frozen pizza) for a little while, and I'm very grateful for that, but boy were things ever a mess. There were ants all over the kitchen from the food bits and dirty dishes on the counter, and instead of cleaning it, DH went out and bought ant traps. Ugh. And looking at heaps of and heaps of mess when you're recovering can be really daunting.
    "In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn’t merely train him to be semi-human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of becoming part dog."
    -Edward Hoagland


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May. 16, 2005
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    Elmwood, Wisconsin
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    The medical profession has found that they make fewer mistakes during surgery if they use a checklist with the procedure. Perhaps you could "sell" the DH on such a program and make sure the checklist included cleanup activities as part of it.
    Robin from Dancing Horse Hill
    Elmwood, Wisconsin


    6 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 31, 2006
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    Ooooh, Robin, that's a terrific idea. He's a pilot, so he is very used to checklists. Would make it easy, too, for anyone who is horse-sitting for us!

    That is a GREAT idea! Thanks!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
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    between the mountains and the sea, North Carolina
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    We all need to vent sometimes. That is what friends (in RL and online!) are for. I think the checklist is an awesome idea. Simple aspects of horse care (like closing stall doors, cleaning water buckets, etc) are often just intuitive to us horsey people, so we don't even think about what comes next at feed time because we just do it automatically. It is easy for us to say, "well, how can he not know that?", but if you had to prepare a plane for a flight I bet you'd be just as in the dark as he is with feed time at the barn! Good luck with future feed time endeavors :-D.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    4 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug. 31, 2006
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    So, in addition to our individualized checklist items that would be unique to our situation, what would YOUR feed room checklist include?



  14. #14
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    Deep South
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    Labels and arrows all over the place ??

    ie; USED CAT FOOD CANS-------->
    and a treat close by !

    (if you aren't used to cleaning up after yourself, you don't realize it has to be done, I guess)


    "Close the doors" streamers like this; http://www.sportys.com/PilotShop/product/12000
    ... _. ._ .._. .._


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb. 28, 2006
    Location
    The rocky part of KY
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    I have one too. Handy as all get out but everywhere I look is an unfinished project and of course he collects "good stuff" for his projects. He actually uses said "good stuff" . . .If he can find it. Outside is basically his domain, I really suffer mentally when he starts to drag things indoors. My kitchen table has been a potting bench for six weeks - dirt, receipts, junk mail, bags of parts and stuff, plastic flats, a scale . . . and if I lose it and order him to clean it up ALL of it will wind up tossed in a bag higgledy piggledy and shoved into the shop to be tripped over. *sigh*
    Courageous Weenie Eventer Wannabe
    Incredible Invisible



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2005
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    Universal check list items....
    ~Measure out feed for each horse, add pre bagged supplements. Maybe consider color coding/labeling buckets.
    ~Pick stalls (can't remember if yours are in/out during the day)
    ~Hay in each stall if horses are in overnight - directions if specific horses require hay nets, etc
    ~Directions for whether feed goes in buckets first or horse goes in stall first (I've been in places that do it both ways)
    ~Cats: Feed wet food in small bowls on assigned "tray", wipe off area after done.
    ~Check water!
    ~Sweep/rake barn aisle when finished
    ~Close up barn, including stall doors, and turn off all lights/radio before you leave


    I think thats everything on the "universal" (ha if that even exists) list in the order I'd do the tasks.
    "Choose to chance the rapids, and dare to dance the tides" - Garth Brooks
    "With your permission, dear, I'll take my fences one at a time" - Maggie Smith, Downton Abbey


    1 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2004
    Posts
    2,355

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    Go ahead a rant all you want.
    I could tell you stories about DH "helping" and I have quiet a few as we have been married for sometime.

    Hope the list thing works as I remember I did that once ( household chores I did not who a horse at the time) and taped the list to the TV.
    I thought it would be a no brainer... I came back from where ever I was after about a week... The list still where I taped it, he was watching TV and did not notice it. The entire week I was gone...The only thing I recall him doing that was on the list was pick up then 3yo from day care.
    That was almost 22 yrs ago... He hasent gotten any better.

    Though he does remember/ do the things the thing he feels important.
    It mush be in the male gene to "not know where the trash can" is so leave "trash" where ever it drops.. The trash can be less than 2' away and doesn't see it.

    He's a male what is clean by his standards is a whole nother language.. I wont say what my house looked like after me being gone for close to 2months.. But let me give you a hint.. I found dirty dishes in the oven and food in the fridge that talked to me when I opened the door...

    He tries hard.. So I give him a pass as he finally learned that the milk does not put itself back in the fridge and that is a mile stone.
    Friend of bar .ka



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jun. 16, 2011
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    766

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    Mine will use a paper towel and leave it on the counter above the trash can! He also refuses to put the salt and pepper shakers back in the little holder which is right beside where he sets them down.

    I blame his mama.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    NY
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    Uh, careful what you wish for. There are probably more tears shed over the results of hubby "helping" than not helping


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2007
    Posts
    2,094

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    can't commiserate with you at all...but of course I understand we all rant about what bothers us! that's the point!.....My DH is very against ANYTHING horsey. As I plan the widdle ghetto barn, I know: whatever I do, I need to do in a way that I can maintain and handle and deal with. He has laid the law down. Do not involve him in anyway. So....KR, for me? I envy you yours for all the things he DOES do in being involved in the barn/your horses. I have gotten fair warning....its my baby 800%.
    ayrabz
    "Indecision may or may not be my problem"
    --Jimmy Buffett


    1 members found this post helpful.

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