I feel like such a chump. During the summer my trainer told me one of her students was looking for the type of horse I'm always interested in. Small horse, large pony type, good temperment, advanced beginner friendly. Something she can trail ride, take to local hunter shows, maybe dabble in dressage.
I didn't talk to the actual buyer until early November, but I already had a horse in mind that I knew of that had been on the market for a little while and sounded like a good fit. Well bred, right size, good basic dressage training, seemed ammy friendly, went out on trail alone, and cute over fences. Had never personally seen the horse, but know seller, as well as what was put into training the horse, and trust it is being fairly represented.
After some miscommunications on my part (sending info to wrong email address for buyer) as well as the usual holday delays, finally got the buyer and seller talking to each other last week. I told the buyer I'd be happy to go with her as a friend and 2nd eye to see horse. No commission or anything involved, just going along for the fun of it. They finally set a time for her to go see the horse - less than a few hours later seller calls and says horse is NQR and is pulling it off the market.
I feel so bad about this and wonder if they might both feel that if I'd followed up better, seller would have gotten the horse sold, and buyer would not have wasted a month in her search. I know its not my fault that horse came up NQR, but if things had moved along a little more quickly, there might be a happy new horse owner and seller out there right now, instead of 2 people who feel they've wasted a lot of time talking to me.
I feel I should at least send a note along to both seller and buyer to say how sorry I am that things did not work out and hope that neither blames me for the whole fiasco.
OR maybe you kept buyer from getting a horse that shows up NQR a month after she buys it.
OR maybe you kept buyer from paying for a PPE on a horse and "wasting" her money because the horse fails and now she spend money but doesn't have a horse.
Things work out for a reason.
I don't think you owe anybody an apology or explanation. You are not a professional. You were doing this to help people out.
Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community. (Tidy Rabbit)
I don't think you owe anybody an apology as in accepting blame or admitting doing anything wrong, but it's always nice to say that you're sorry things didn't work out for them. Kind of like telling someone you're sorry when they break their arm. You're not taking any responsibility, but you ARE sorry!
I would not send the "I'm sorry" email. A) no one has wasted any money or effort-- it's just been a few phone calls or emails. and 2) there's no logic to the thought that the sale would have happened if only they'd gotten together 2 weeks earlier.
An apology from you would be relevant (not needed, but nice to offer) if one of the *humans* flaked out -- let's say the potential buyer called off the visit at the last second. Then I might call (not email!) the seller to say sorry it didn't work out (because, in a way, you are kind of playing a match-making role, introducing these people so they can make a biz deal. So if the deal fell apart because one of the people wasn't reliable, then it's worth expressing your regret to the other one).
But since the horse visit was cancelled because of a completely neutral, unforeseeable event, it would seem odd to me to get an apology type email (especially if it included something along the lines of I hope you don't blame me" . I know you would word the note more artfully than this, but you know what I mean).
And, there could be something at play that you don't know about. Maybe the seller got cold feet and needs a graceful exit, or maybe someone trash-talked the buyer, who knows.
All that said, if it's eating at you, I'd still skip the email but instead pick up the phone and have a light, funny, and very quick phone conversation with both of them.
There are plenty more horses out there to look at that would work for the buyer. Since there never was a first visit, there is no way to be sure a sale would have happened.
As someone who sells horses, I guarantee you that there is a 50/50 chance that if you have a prospective buyer coming, the horse she is looking at will be lame or have some other unforeseen issue. It's like the horse knows! And there is nothing worse than this coming as a surprise to you when the prospective buyer is on your property looking at the horse.
I also don't see any fiasco in this series of events or any reason to be upset about. The buyer just needs to move on. Horse shopping does require some effort.
I'm amazed there's an honest seller that told you the horse was NQR instead of covering it up with bute and trying to sell anyway.
One of the many reasons I was comfortable recommending this horse is that I have faith the seller is a good egg.
Thanks everyone for the support. I am relieved that any problems the hrose might have came out before the buyer saw it, but do feel its a shame that 6 weeks of back and forth came to naught for either party.