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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2006
    Posts
    256

    Default I am sick with worry! STUPID kid!

    I have a daughter that is in college that lives with me. She is old enough to have some sense in her pea brain. You would think anyway!
    She has the sweetest most darling little Pionus Parrot that is really the most adorable little pet and friend in the world. Can you tell I am totally in love with this darling creature? Anyway, tonight I go into her room to say goodnight and give this sweet bird a night night kiss like I always do. Stupid daughter has this automatic aerosol sprayer in her room that gives those pulses of air freshener off! Anyone who knows anything about birds knows that they are very sensitive to fumes and aerosols can be deadly! OMG I came apart when I smelled it in there. Sweet little bird in there breathing this in....kid gets so angry at me it is rediculous! I can't let it go, makes me sick to my stomach. She doesn't deserve this bird. You would have to know to understand how sweet and loving, like a child this bird is. I do not know what to do. She is the "owner" of the bird and has responsibility for her health and welfare and I feel so lost, angry and afraid for her.
    Yes it may sound crazy but how do you get through to an idiot that thinks she knows everything? She also adores this bird and would be devastated if anything happened to her so one would think she would be somewhat smart....ugh, I am so upset with worry!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 17, 2003
    Location
    AridZona
    Posts
    2,874

    Default

    Your house; your rules. Ban the air freshener.
    Delicious strawberry flavored death!


    5 members found this post helpful.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    May. 10, 2009
    Location
    NC piedmont
    Posts
    2,160

    Default

    Is DD paying rent? If not, she's an adult living under your roof, so your house; your rules! Even if she is paying you, it's still your home, and you can set whatever boundaries you want. Tell her no air fresheners in her room with the bird;either get rid of them or move the bird to another part of the house, and if she doesn't like your rules, she is free to move out and pay for everything herself!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct. 30, 2008
    Posts
    3,228

    Default

    "No" is a complete sentence.
    Flip a coin. It's not what side lands that matters, but what side you were hoping for when the coin was still in the air.

    You call it boxed wine. I call it carboardeaux.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2006
    Posts
    256

    Default

    I took it out of her room. She is fuming mad too. You are right, my house, my rules. I will not sit back and let her hurt this innocent bird without a huge fight from me. I know it would hurt her too if something happened to her and she is just being stupid about listening to me and I do not care. If she wants to be stupid then she will need to do it somewhere else where I cant see her doing it. Sad thing is I would miss the bird more than the kid if she moved out but I can't stand knowing she can be just this stupid with something she is supposed o be responsible for! OMG and she thinks she can get married and have kids??? I don't think i could make it through that! She would probably drive a car with the kid in her lap!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 30, 2009
    Posts
    908

    Default

    After you cool off, google the real information regarding the health issues and show it to her. Also remember to show her that no non stick pans should even be in a house with a bird. (they will kill the bird if heated to a certain temp).
    Tell her that you got so mad because you were afraid, and that it was the same emotion that you would have hasd when you were protecting her as a little child.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2010
    Posts
    2,464

    Default

    In two posts you call your daughter stupid and an idiot and refer to a bird as darling and say that you would miss it more than your child if it left.

    I know you are upset and I know that your anger stems from a genuine concern about the well-being of an animal that cannot verbalize distress. If you came across half as enraged as your posts suggest, I bet your daughter felt scared, cornered, and launched into a defensive mode.

    It sounds like a careless oversight and she was lucky that her bird escaped unscathed. I think everyone has experienced at least one of those "what were you thinking" moments. It is up to you whether you use this as a shaping experience or continue to hold it over your daughter's head and think she's an "idiot."

    At the end of the day she is still your child.


    18 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2006
    Posts
    256

    Default

    I will, again, print out information for her to read. We have been down this same road before over hair spray. She used to take her into the bathroom with her while she got ready and she would use hairspray around her. Argued with me over that but she at least has stopped that....it took me begging, pleading, printing info out for her to read. I will do it again because she is a stupid, have I said stupid enough?, kid that you cannot tell anything to because she is always right! I will go at it with the approach that I reacted that way because it scared the crap out of me to walk into that room and smell that strong odor....I was very afraid for the birds health. I am hoping she reacted the way she did back at me because in her heart she knew it was a really bad decision to have that in her room but was too stubborn to admit that yet again her mother may know what she is talking about....
    I will take a deep breath and not over react and get mad at her stubbornness. I will just ask her if she knows why they take canaries into coal mines and let her think about it....


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2006
    Posts
    256

    Default

    Yes, yes yes, I would miss the bird more! She is 22 and living with me still.....lol you must not have kids!
    Seriously though, I am blessed with my 2 daughters and if I didn't love them so much they probably wouldn't make me this crazy! The other one lives away at college so that is bad too! Motherhood never gets easier!
    Quote Originally Posted by GraceLikeRain View Post
    In two posts you call your daughter stupid and an idiot and refer to a bird as darling and say that you would miss it more than your child if it left.

    I know you are upset and I know that your anger stems from a genuine concern about the well-being of an animal that cannot verbalize distress. If you came across half as enraged as your posts suggest, I bet your daughter felt scared, cornered, and launched into a defensive mode.

    It sounds like a careless oversight and she was lucky that her bird escaped unscathed. I think everyone has experienced at least one of those "what were you thinking" moments. It is up to you whether you use this as a shaping experience or continue to hold it over your daughter's head and think she's an "idiot."

    At the end of the day she is still your child.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2006
    Posts
    256

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dodedo View Post
    Yes, yes yes, I would miss the bird more! She is 22 and living with me still.....lol you must not have kids!
    Seriously though, I am blessed with my 2 daughters and if I didn't love them so much they probably wouldn't make me this crazy! The other one lives away at college so that is bad too! Motherhood never gets easier!
    But I do adore that sweet little bird!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    32,709

    Default

    Lady, you are crazy.

    I get it, air born junk is bad.
    For man and beast.

    but
    she is an adult
    and not a child.

    And if you spoke to her about the hair spray and the air freshener like you posted, I cannot blame her for digging in her heels.

    I am assuming she is very similar to you in personality.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2010
    Posts
    2,464

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dodedo View Post
    Yes, yes yes, I would miss the bird more! She is 22 and living with me still.....lol you must not have kids!
    Seriously though, I am blessed with my 2 daughters and if I didn't love them so much they probably wouldn't make me this crazy! The other one lives away at college so that is bad too! Motherhood never gets easier!
    You're right. By your definition I am very much a "kid." I am 22 and still in school. A year ago I lost my dog in a horrific accident trying to protect a friend's dog in danger. That is a burden that I will carry with me for the rest of my life. Ultimately, I am the reason he is no longer with us because it was my job to keep him safe and I failed.

    Without a shadow of a doubt I know that neither one of my parents would ever think about or call me an idiot or stupid. We all miss my dog and I am sure there were times where they wished I'd had the forethought to predict the slim possibility of this specific accident occurring. However, they are my biggest supporters and love me unconditionally. That is the role of a parent. It doesn't mean they don't get frustrated, disappointed, or upset, but they would never put a dog before their child.

    I am sure this is not the case but if you go back to read your OP and the subsequent post, it comes across like you care more about the bird than your child.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2001
    Location
    Almost Aiken
    Posts
    2,713

    Default

    So glad you aren't my mom. I've done plenty of stupid things, out of ignorance mostly though occasionally willful ignorance (aka, stupidity).

    My mom NEVER told me the *I* was stupid, though she may have said that my actions or choices were not well thought out. I hated to disappoint her, so I either changed my ways or found a counter argument (with facts to back it up) to bolster my position.

    If I were repeatedly called stupid by someone I loved (and who professed to love me), I'd quit listening, quit caring, possibly quit loving that person.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jul. 30, 2005
    Location
    England
    Posts
    10,621

    Default

    Honesty op, you're coming across as hateful and a bit of a nutter. It sounds like you care more about the bird than your daughter.
    Horse Show Names Free name website with over 6200 names. Want to add? PM me!


    5 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2004
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    20,028

    Default

    Wow. I have a 21 year old daughter who just moved back in while attending college. I must say that your reaction is over the top rediculous (sic) and I pray you never have to find out how much you would miss her and not the damn bird if she were to leave you for good. Disgusting behavior on your part, I wonder who she learned it from?


    5 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2011
    Location
    East Longmeadow, MA
    Posts
    3,479

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by dodedo View Post
    I have a daughter that is in college that lives with me. She is old enough to have some sense in her pea brain. You would think anyway!
    She has the sweetest most darling little Pionus Parrot that is really the most adorable little pet and friend in the world. Can you tell I am totally in love with this darling creature? Anyway, tonight I go into her room to say goodnight and give this sweet bird a night night kiss like I always do. Stupid daughter has this automatic aerosol sprayer in her room that gives those pulses of air freshener off! Anyone who knows anything about birds knows that they are very sensitive to fumes and aerosols can be deadly! OMG I came apart when I smelled it in there. Sweet little bird in there breathing this in....kid gets so angry at me it is rediculous! I can't let it go, makes me sick to my stomach. She doesn't deserve this bird. You would have to know to understand how sweet and loving, like a child this bird is. I do not know what to do. She is the "owner" of the bird and has responsibility for her health and welfare and I feel so lost, angry and afraid for her.
    Yes it may sound crazy but how do you get through to an idiot that thinks she knows everything? She also adores this bird and would be devastated if anything happened to her so one would think she would be somewhat smart....ugh, I am so upset with worry!
    Saved just in case.
    What's wrong with you?? Your cheese done slid off its cracker?!?!



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2001
    Location
    Almost Aiken
    Posts
    2,713

    Default

    Lets add this one too, shall we?

    Quote Originally Posted by dodedo View Post
    I took it out of her room. She is fuming mad too. You are right, my house, my rules. I will not sit back and let her hurt this innocent bird without a huge fight from me. I know it would hurt her too if something happened to her and she is just being stupid about listening to me and I do not care. If she wants to be stupid then she will need to do it somewhere else where I cant see her doing it. Sad thing is I would miss the bird more than the kid if she moved out but I can't stand knowing she can be just this stupid with something she is supposed o be responsible for! OMG and she thinks she can get married and have kids??? I don't think i could make it through that! She would probably drive a car with the kid in her lap!



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2001
    Location
    Almost Aiken
    Posts
    2,713

    Default

    And this one:

    Quote Originally Posted by dodedo View Post
    I will, again, print out information for her to read. We have been down this same road before over hair spray. She used to take her into the bathroom with her while she got ready and she would use hairspray around her. Argued with me over that but she at least has stopped that....it took me begging, pleading, printing info out for her to read. I will do it again because she is a stupid, have I said stupid enough?, kid that you cannot tell anything to because she is always right! I will go at it with the approach that I reacted that way because it scared the crap out of me to walk into that room and smell that strong odor....I was very afraid for the birds health. I am hoping she reacted the way she did back at me because in her heart she knew it was a really bad decision to have that in her room but was too stubborn to admit that yet again her mother may know what she is talking about....
    I will take a deep breath and not over react and get mad at her stubbornness. I will just ask her if she knows why they take canaries into coal mines and let her think about it....



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2004
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    20,028

    Default

    Sounds like Mom wasn't much of a role model to me.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2012
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    506

    Default

    Wow, OP I do have a daughter who is turning 20 this year, and I would never talk about her like you talk about yours. I can just imagine how much more vitriolic you must be to her in real life. Hopefully, if she does get married and have kids she will learn from your bad parenting and do a better job with her own.

    I have no comment about the bird, I cannot get past your nastiness towards your daughter.


    3 members found this post helpful.

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