OP, unless you're a teenager, in which case please tell your parents I apologized for telling their kid to get over herself, but everything about this episode, as told by you, is making me irritated with you to an unreasonable degree.
You hero worshipped an old-school BNR (Mistake #1)
Um, no. I didn't hero worship him. I enjoyed reading what he posted and felt I was learning a lot from him.
You found a post by said BNR about the lack of drive in today's riders so offensive you challenged said BNR in a super southern way on his own facebook page using your own hard work as contrary evidence to his proposition (Mistake #2)
Not sure what you mean by super southern way but I don't feel that I challanged him. I certainly didn't use myself as an example. I have very little of my life posted on Facebook.
You expected said BNR to react with something to the effect of "Dear Readers, I was wrong, so so wrong. Based on the evidence presented by the OP, I have found the one modern horsewoman who knows the value of hard work-there is hope afterall-I take back my general critique" (Mistake #3).
I actually didn't expect any reply from him at all.
When said BNR deleted your post and blocked you, having decided that being your "friend" was more trouble than it was worth, you immediately ran to the COTH message boards to gather consolation about what a meanie said BNR is and how TOTALLY RIGHT you are (Mistake #4). Mistake # 4 confirms the BNR's decision to end your posting privileges was probably correct b/c...
Nope, I was looking for general opinions. I don't expect everyone to tell me that I'm right. The world doesn't work like that.
When the response was mixed, you got so upset that you declared you were going to put your iphone down and "go hug your dog", presumably to make yourself feel better, but instead kept posting (Mistake #5). If something like this has this much of an impact on you, you lead an awfully charmed life. The "woe is me" tone to your posts is over the top. Edited to add-The "I'm never ever ever" listening to advice from this BNR ever again was also a bit melodramatic.
I think you are WAY overreacting. If BNR doesn't want to fight with people on BNR's facebook page, that's said BNR's priviledge.
I don't have an Iphone, for a start. Why shouldn't I keep posting? I'm enjoying the feedback and have a lead on another BNR to learn from.
The worst thing is now I feel... let down/disappointed by it. I thought they were a great person, someone I could really learn from but if they're not willing to let people comment then what's the point of posting?
Erm, in my experience, were you to have a face-to-face lesson with this or many other BNTs, they generally don't want to have a back-and-forth with a student and they believe a good student, for the most part, is one who is seen but not heard. That doesn't mean you aren't allowed and encouraged to ask questions to clarify their instruction, but, no, they don't want a debate over whether you agree with their general prinicples. They figure they've earned the right to stand on their soapbox and you've paid to come and gain knowledge from them, so you can either listen or leave.
Apply the same thing to FB, and yes, he doesn't want to have a debate with you. You can take the good with the bad or you can leave, he just made that decision for you.
Originally Posted by Hear_my_echo
Maybe he's just having a bad day or something. I dunno... I do know I'll think twice before adding anyone on facebook again.
You are taking this a little too personally, no? Social media requires a slightly thicker skin.
(Also, that BNT is always complaining that FB limits him to X number of friends, so perhaps he's looking for good reasons to cull the herd.)
Another thought...my guess is that his idea of "hard work" and yours are very different and that he has heard that comment many, many times over the years. If you know him (I do) or have followed him, then you know that the changes in the sport, the changes in the "system"(old USET), and more young(er) riders buying made horses to get to the UL instead of taking the time, blood, sweat and tears to Make them UL horses are subjects very near and dear to his heart and he definitely has an opinion about it.
I'm just thankful that he spends so much of his time sharing his experiences and opinions with us. I wish more did.
Anyhow, it takes practice to communicate on FB/internet bulletin boards and even with that, things go awry aplenty.
I shared a BNT 'advice/helpful tip' video today and got some odd comments. Including "This is dumb. The right panel of the saddle didn't touch because the stirrup iron was in the way--so no wonder the panel wasn't sitting down. Also she shows that the left flap touched him nicely? That doesn't really matter. It's a flap...PLUS...there is a lot more to saddle fit than what's here. And, you're going to need a fitter anyway, to fix it if it doesn't fit..."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that when an experienced FEI rider offers a little 'helpful tips' video on FB, that they aren't expecting comments that begin with, "this is dumb."
I posted what I said at the start of this thread. That was it. I'm not a disrespectful person or a rude person. I enjoy learning. I'm 99% sure that my comment was not offensive. Might sound strange, but I can no longer see his posts.
Why should I apologise? I haven't done anything wrong. All I did was post one comment that wasn't offensive.
I'd rather not beg this person to have me back. If they disliked my comment that strongly, then fair enough.
So what is it that you want? If you want to be able to see his page, then apologize. You can do so in a way that is not self-effacing. You certainly do not have to beg. Just say that you apologize if your comment offended him, and that this was not your intention.
Of course, he probably already knows about all that you have posted on COTH since it is ridiculously easy to ascertain who he is. So it looks like you have pretty much put a period at the end of learning from his page. Too bad you chose to come onto this very public forum to complain.
I think you just cut off your nose to spite your face.
While anyone can comment, not everyone has the right to be eternally validated by having their opinions taking up residence for all eternity in someone else's space. If you want your opinion up for all eternity, put it in YOUR OWN space. Nothing is stopping you or anyone else from putting a billboard on your own lawn about whatever issue has lit your fire if you so choose, so I fail to see what is so essential about being allowed to stake out said opinion claim on someone ELSE's lawn.
If someone tried to put a Mitt Romney sign on my lawn, I would in fact tell them to take it down and don't come round here no more. More than happy to get along just fine with my neighbor who puts one up on his own lawn.
However, if you don't mind me erecting signage in your space and if you think it would be rude to block me from doing so, let me know and I'll make up some posters about whatever I please to stick in your yard. I'll also feel free to exercise the "Real Life Comment Feature" by applying sharpie applique to any signs that happen to already be in your yard.
"Action is the real measure of intelligence." (N.Hill)
I just had to delete the comments on my page. The creators of the 'tip' video attempted to dialogue with the commentator. Admit that they had some work to do with perfecting their video technique, etc. BUT the person with the negative comments would not really be placated. One can only devote so much time to these things, so after a few posts, they gave up.
Impressive how quickly things got complicated... I can see how folks got 'up in arms' when the CParra video was floating around facebook. But folks can apparently get themselves worked up over things that would seem really not worthy of getting 'worked up' over.
Most BNRs would have a paid subscription service to provide the level of information that he gives away on his page. The man has walked the walk and is sharing that knowledge with anyone who wants to listen and learn. I for one am really grateful and love to read through his posts.
He's earned the right to wax poetic about the death of the long format and the softness present in today's riders. It seems to be a recurrent subject for him. I believe he used to post similar things here. If you want discussion perhaps try with a subject that he doesn't have such a strong passion for. I think this is a very sensitive subject to him.
I also find it laughable that in four pages, no one has expressly named the BNR or farm page.
Sometimes FB is a place for rhetorical questioning...and as someone else mentioned, when old men get rambling its best not to interrupt, and sometimes, even when we disagree with them, out of respect one should hold their tounge. I think I know who this is, and I have disagreed. Only once enough to post anything, and there was a short discourse which was wonderfully enlightening.
But more or less OP, old men can be ornerey. Age & experience gives them that right. No one is perfect, its disappointing to realize that. Sort of reminds me of interacting w/a professor; voicing dissent is a tricky task.
As this thread has gone on, it becomes more and more clear just WHO the OP is talking about.
OP, you're way overreacting. Unbunch your panties and carry on.
That is what I think too. Pretty sure I can guess, and If it is then the comment he must have made was pretty much spot on. If you look at what he has done. If it is who I think I used to read his FB page all the time, And most times he seldom comments. Me thinks op's wording might be a tad different than what was said.. Beside all that who even cares, it's facebook for crying out load, Get over it!
I believe he was talking about overall trends in the sport over the last 20-30 years, rather than criticizing an individual's work ethic.
I would have found the comment the OP posted...odd, and missing the point.
Deleting the comment and blocking? Eh, I don't know.
Have you considered that he must have someone administer or moderate that page, and it probably wasn't BNT, personally, that did the delete/block?
I'm amazed at the sheer volume and quality of the stuff he posts, and he still rides, teaches and coaches. I'm sure he has someone manage the traffic on that page for him, and that the handling of your post was an administrative, rather than a personal decision.