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  1. #121
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    Nov. 12, 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rubyfree View Post
    How nice. You want a cookie? We're all out of "I did it ALL BY MYSELF!!11eleventy!" medals.

    I've kept myself off of these threads as I have no real way of helping and, perhaps more importantly, am currently rebuilding my life after going through a distressingly similar experience. This rekindles a lot of still smoldering pain in me.

    This is too damn gross to ignore.

    Your whole post, but the bolded in particular. I posted my suffering on the internets for pets and co-snuffling. I'd be dead right now if I hadn't.

    I was out of IRL folks to turn to, or at least felt that I was. Talking was hard; typing was easy. The co-snufflers and petters I reached out to saved my life, plain and simple. They propped me up, replied thoughtfully and intelligently, and gave me a "job" to do- I had to check in, and I did, and it gave me an island in a seemingly infinite sea of misery.

    Of course people "fake" it, but it's not hurting a damned thing to assume someone isn't, and you may very well contribute in some small way to saving that life.

    OP, I wish I had sage words. I can tell you that two years out from my own life crumbling, I am the happiest I have been in my adult life. It's pretty cool. Some things still rub raw and probably always will, but life as a whole is a darned beautiful, strange, surreal place, and I'm incredibly glad I stuck with it. It's worth it. I wish you the very best in your travels forward. I am sending you all the good juju I have. Lean on it when you need, and keep going forward.
    THIS is a very helpful post. Thank you, Rubyfree!


    7 members found this post helpful.

  2. #122
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2001
    Location
    PA
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    1,833

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    Mean people not only suck, I imagine their life must suck too, which is making them mean.

    IZ, I'm three hours from you. I can't get off this property for long this time of year, but I'm willing to help you if I can. PM me if I can in some way. Never mind, I'll pm you.

    IZ there are plenty of us checking in on these threads to make sure you are OK, that don't post. We do care, and will support you to the best of our ability.

    Edit to add: IZ your inbox is full.
    Last edited by lawndart; Jan. 11, 2013 at 07:51 AM. Reason: add note
    OLD FRIENDS FARM-Equine Retirement-We LOVE Seniors!! Spoiling Retirees since 1998
    http://www.angelfire.com/oldfriendsfarm/home.html
    Charter Member of UYA!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #123
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    40,874

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    'This the season, winter makes everything harder.
    To put these situations in perspective, here is an appropriate article about this.
    See last paragraph:

    http://beefmagazine.com/blog/opinion...plates-suicide

    ---Opinion: A Friend Contemplates Suicide
    Jan. 10, 2013 by Troy Marshall in My View From The Country
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    COMMENTS 0
    I was surprised to get a call from my friend saying he was at the end of his rope, sitting in a motel room, and contemplating the inexplicable.
    I had a disturbing call this week from someone I know, but didn’t really know. After looking at this article, he gave me permission to talk about this, because it made me realize just how important it is to connect with others.

    This individual is a friend, but I don’t know how to explain our relationship. We’ve shared a few dinners, had some good discussions about genetics and cows, and we have a shared love of our kids, etc. While we might talk once a month, it never was anything too personal.

    So, I was surprised to get a call from him saying he was at the end of his rope, sitting in a motel room, and contemplating the inexplicable. Before I go further, let me report that he didn’t pull the trigger, and I pray he finds the strength to see the light. Still, it hit me hard, and I still don’t really know all the details.

    Like in many cases where people just get overwhelmed, it was a combination of bad decisions by my friend, and mistakes that compounded to the point it seemed there was no hope. He was looking at losing the people he loved and his identity, and he was desperate to make things right. Not able to do so, he was at the end of his rope.

    The experience and situation underscored for me the beauty of the Christian faith, a place where one can find not only unconditional love, but forgiveness and hope. There is the promise of a new beginning and, more importantly, the strength to overcome.

    In my weekly writings, I often address the thrill and beauty of ranching, but it can be a high-stress life as well. We all have a lot of responsibility – for ourselves, those we love, our animals and resources, our family legacy, etc.

    I have no training in counseling and I didn’t say anything profound to my friend during that tense call; I just listened. Thankfully, that was all that was required. I just want to say that, as bleak as things might look, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel. That isn’t original, of course, but the point is that no matter how hopeless the situation may seem, there is always a way out and a way forward.

    Anyone struggling to find such light needs to find someone who can help them get there. Like a drought, the rain may be too little too late, but eventually it will come. The key is finding a way to get to the next rain or shower. Recovery can be slow but it will come with work, patience and love.

    I, for one, will be striving more to not only look for the light in my own life, but for those who are having trouble finding it in theirs and feel swallowed up by the darkness. Let’s look out for one another."---


    4 members found this post helpful.

  4. #124
    Join Date
    Dec. 25, 2012
    Posts
    66

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    Thanks again to all of you who keep sending along kind messages of support. I also received an interesting book in the mail yesterday, and would love to be able to thank whoever sent it- please let me know who you are.

    I have emptied the PM box, and downloaded the messages.

    Also, the mare has found a sponsor, so I will be able to focus on the geldings, right now. The mare has more substantial challenges in finding the right home, so I am thrilled to buy just a bit more time with her.

    Thanks again, COTHers. It is still very dark here, but there are some breaks in the clouds, from time to time.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  5. #125
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2002
    Location
    Area VIII, Region 2, Zone 5.
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    6,679

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    Quote Originally Posted by LauraKY View Post
    Just in case anyone is curious, Ambitious Kate used to be Another Round.
    That would explain it.

    One foot ahead of the other, IZ. Breaks in the clouds are a good sign.
    Quote Originally Posted by Linny View Post
    Those martingales were so taut, you could play Ode to Joy on them with a comb


    4 members found this post helpful.

  6. #126
    Join Date
    Sep. 16, 2003
    Posts
    920

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    As a "co-snuffler" let me check in. I know Iz in IRL. Through the years, we have had a friendship that has waxed and waned as so many long-term friendships do, and frankly, we are separated by a continent. There have been times where we talked every day, and times, such as now, where we correspond every few months. Thus, while I was peripherally aware of *some* of the issues that she was facing, I wasn't aware of the depth of hurt and pain they had caused her. Heck, I hadn't even been on COTH other than intermittently - my own non-Internet life had interceded.

    But Iz has people who know her in IRL. Some knew, but were reticent to say anything until she posted. I was pointed to the thread with a "you should read this." Within her first paragraph, I knew who it was, and was concerned about how I could reach out. Somewhere inside, she knows that with my past history, I am not going to sit on the sidelines - but I'm also not an enabler.

    I care, and the best thing I can do to help is to try and facilitate horses - and hopefully, to deflect some of the resulting *hit storm of innuendo that arises like the cloud following Pigpen. If that helps to shut up some of the committee that is chattering inside her head and can allow her to take one step at a time regarding other decisions, that alone will have been worth her spilling her guts publicly.


    21 members found this post helpful.

  7. #127
    Join Date
    Apr. 3, 2006
    Location
    Spooner, WI
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    2,252

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    Here, here! CA ASB! You are definitely not one that sucks!

    Calling you today IZ around noon.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  8. #128
    Join Date
    Nov. 6, 2008
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    On the sunny side of the street
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    22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Bluey View Post
    Like in many cases where people just get overwhelmed, it was a combination of bad decisions by my friend, and mistakes that compounded to the point it seemed there was no hope. He was looking at losing the people he loved and his identity, and he was desperate to make things right. Not able to do so, he was at the end of his rope.
    This.

    There but for the grace of God go any one of us.
    The truth will set you free. But first, it will piss you off ~ Gloria Steinem


    7 members found this post helpful.

  9. #129
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2008
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    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
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    I have not had an opportunity to know Iz IRL, but have often admired her for various reasons. I also have been deeply wounded by her past unkindness to me online (why I was hassled, insulted, mocked etc. I have no clue, but whatever...) even to the point that it was a case of kicking me when I was not just down but in a life-threatening serious health crisis. That does not stop me from caring, from wishing there was something I could do, but I may not be the only one she has wounded in the past who might be reluctant to make contact or offer more ideas. Over time, one just gets tired of being kicked in the teeth and gets out of range.

    I am really glad though that horses are being rehomed, and that Iz is finding those breaks in the cloud cover. I hope that continues with more blue skies than clouds to an increasing degree.
    Last edited by sdlbredfan; Jan. 12, 2013 at 10:20 AM.
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  10. #130
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2007
    Posts
    1,086

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    Iz,

    Great job getting things accomplished, that is no small feat in such troubling situations.

    I have never met Iz personally; I am not in a position to offer any help, so I will just say thank you to those who are stepping in and making possible a way through the darkness for Iz.

    I admire you all.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  11. #131
    Join Date
    Dec. 25, 2012
    Posts
    66

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    I wanted to let you all know that I am still searching for great homes for several horses.

    There is another party, or two, out there who seem to be reaching out to some folks who are interested in the horses, and is spewing falsehoods. I have to tell you that I did not realize that there was that much hate in these people, or that they had enough time on their hands to make me their hobby- especially now.

    If you are interested in a horse, and, yes, I am desperate to place these guys into wonderful homes, please, please, please contact me directly. I can put you in touch with couple of legal eagles who can tell you what the facts really are, and what is germaine to the horse issues, and what is not. You do not have to take my word.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  12. #132
    Join Date
    May. 24, 2006
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    2,896

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    IZ, in the words of John Wayne to Barbara Walters many years ago "Don't let the bastards get you down". There are many people who know and care, the ones who are hateful, well thats there stupid issues. Just keep on keeping on. There is light at the end of the tunnel.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #133
    Join Date
    Dec. 25, 2012
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    66

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    I appreciate it- but it is so challenging to be trying to do your best to find great homes, and to have people wo have no interest whatsoever in the welfare of the horses start *hit stirring. Of course, they'd never admit that they do not give a damn about the horses, but then, there is walking it, and talkingit.

    I had someone come out and ride my gelding today- and he was peach- he hasn't been ridden in weeks, and to be able to pull him out, and have him pack someone around was very, very sweet. He is awesome, and, if she wanted to learn to do a bit of dressage, it would be a great pairing. We'll see!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  14. #134
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
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    Packing my bags
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    Quote Originally Posted by izanalter View Post
    I appreciate it- but it is so challenging to be trying to do your best to find great homes, and to have people wo have no interest whatsoever in the welfare of the horses start *hit stirring. Of course, they'd never admit that they do not give a damn about the horses, but then, there is walking it, and talkingit.

    I had someone come out and ride my gelding today- and he was peach- he hasn't been ridden in weeks, and to be able to pull him out, and have him pack someone around was very, very sweet. He is awesome, and, if she wanted to learn to do a bit of dressage, it would be a great pairing. We'll see!

    Keeping my fingers crossed!
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.



  15. #135
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    Dec. 25, 2012
    Posts
    66

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    Mee too!! Even though this is just really, really hard it is very touching to see my guys strut their stuff for other people, and to have the people say "wow, this is a really nice horse!"

    Also- I need to find rides for several horses heading to the midwest- Ohio, Missouri, and possibly Michigan. Please PM me if you have any ideas for very affordable transportation. Thanks so much, COTHers, you have been very, very kind.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  16. #136
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2008
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    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
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    Quote Originally Posted by izanalter View Post
    II had someone come out and ride my gelding today- and he was peach- he hasn't been ridden in weeks, and to be able to pull him out, and have him pack someone around was very, very sweet. He is awesome, and, if she wanted to learn to do a bit of dressage, it would be a great pairing. We'll see!
    I hope you are not trying to insist that whoever takes one of the horsres 'must' do dressage. I am sure that a good home is far more important than exactly what style of riding or discipline is involved, or at least would hope so. That is good news though, that he behaved so well.

    ETA, if you have one that would be a good beginner lesson horse, I know of a very good instructor here that would love to have one such critter. You mentioned in another post that one is coming to MO, so am wondering what part of MO, near St Louis, or farther West to KC?
    Last edited by sdlbredfan; Jan. 13, 2013 at 10:15 PM. Reason: add content
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #137
    Join Date
    Dec. 25, 2012
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    66

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    Quote Originally Posted by sdlbredfan View Post
    I hope you are not trying to insist that whoever takes one of the horsres 'must' do dressage. I am sure that a good home is far more important than exactly what style of riding or discipline is involved, or at least would hope so. That is good news though, that he behaved so well.

    ETA, if you have one that would be a good beginner lesson horse, I know of a very good instructor here that would love to have one such critter. You mentioned in another post that one is coming to MO, so am wondering what part of MO, near St Louis, or farther West to KC?
    Jeannie- I want them to have dressage homes, as that is that the language that they speak. it would be wrong to send them to a land where their language is not understood.

    As for begininer lesson horses, I suggest that Saddlebred Rescue has the best group of ASB's for that task. Please refer any possible homes to them, and they will do right by them.

    I have been rehoming American Saddlebreds to great homes since the 70's. I hope that I can get it right, this time.



  18. #138
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    Jun. 7, 2008
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    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
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    Thanks for the update. BTW I am not one of the ones 'spewing falsehoods' that you mentioned, but that is distressing that there are some people doing that.

    Dressage is good for all horses, but horses are smart enough to adapt to other things as well. The instructor I mentioned who could use another beginner horse definitely knows about SBR.
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  19. #139
    Join Date
    Dec. 25, 2011
    Posts
    32

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    I bet they also speak "hungry", "cold" and "want snuggles" just like every other horse. Inherently the more important things.


    14 members found this post helpful.

  20. #140

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    I took a dressage horse who needed a home. Elijah competed successfully to third level, and I do not speak dressage. It was his "first language," but to his credit he also spoke pretty fluent "horse." He has lived happily ever after here for 7 years. He still speaks dressage, and I still don't. But he has learned "barely apt rider" darn well. He even knows a lot of English, like "feet on ground," "time for dinner," "here is your girl," and the softly whispered right in his ear when he brings his 17h self close to me,"I love you Lijah'" which makes his ears go flop. Since I also speak a little horse, I know this means he loffs me, too.


    37 members found this post helpful.

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