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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2010
    Location
    california
    Posts
    4,224

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    Thanks IZ for coming here. I have been really down and I do get some of what you are going through. Sometimes your partner thinks that they should be enough to make you happy, DH is still angry at me for becoming as depressed as I was in the mid 1990's after I lost a baby (even after having 2 later).

    Hope you are finding some way to cope.



  2. #42
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    12,168

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freebird! View Post
    - Telling someone who is depressed, and or in the midst of grieving to "put on their big girl panties and suck it up" is not a help or an encouragement. It would be like me putting my 2 year old in a swimming pool, with out a life jacket, and screaming at her to "Swim!!"
    This! For sure this!


    8 members found this post helpful.

  3. #43
    Join Date
    Feb. 21, 2012
    Posts
    216

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    I want to second, third, fourth - quintuple-whatever what Freebird! said. At my work, I see people much worse off than me everyday (financially, emotionally, physically - you name it). After being in controlling relationship though, I couldn't think of anyway out other than to kill myself. If someone had tried to say, "Listen, Ace, you think you have it bad? There are starving kids in <insert country>, so really, think of how good you have it." I didn't care. And when you get to the point of just. not. caring....that's a freaky place to be.

    Sometimes people don't have a reason for suffering from depression - it's a chemical thing. I'm not sure if that's where Iz is, but if so, please get thee to a doctor - I've been treated for depression - situational, but certainly provoked by a tendency towards the dark, which I imagine is chemical or hormonal imbalance, or perhaps a side effect of rheumatoid arthritis. I guess I just hope Iz asks for help when/where she needs it. And please, spare her the judgy-pants (not that I've seen it - just as a preventative measure). {{hugs}}

    ETA: I haven't read the full story on Iz, just caught this thread, so if I'm totally off-base, please ignore! Going to read OT now...
    Last edited by Ace; Jan. 3, 2013 at 11:34 AM. Reason: explanation...


    2 members found this post helpful.

  4. #44
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2012
    Location
    Fern Creek, KY
    Posts
    3,010

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    Thank you for updating, IZ. Your friend needs a spankin'.

    I'm going to be popping something in the mail for you in the next few days, is that okay? Just a little something that someone gave me to get me through a rough time.

    Just keep chuggin'. You can do this! You're a horse person, after all.
    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    I prefer them outside playing as opposed to standing in the barn aisle playing "I can crap more than you"
    New Year, New Blog... follow Willow and I here.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #45
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    1,098

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    I read the other thread but not much of this one yet so please forgive me if it has been brought up before.

    The farm itself is a problem for Iz, the memories associated with it as well as the debt. If someone else were looking for a roommate that had horses and would allow Iz one or two or her own horses plus her dogs, that would take some burden off Iz. I"m not talking a free live in situation but a paid room/garage apartment, something like that.

    Iz wouldn't feel like a freeloader and wouldn't have to give up all her horses. Being off the farm with all it's memories and keeping some of her animals would/could help her start on the path to recovery.

    I do think the medical problems are a big part of how she is feeling so hopefully would be seeking medical help as well.

    I think we can help Iz get through this crisis without loosing everything.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  6. #46
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2006
    Location
    Spruce Grove AB
    Posts
    825

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    Bumping up. Let's us know what you need or who need to sell Iz, and we'll see what we can do.



  7. #47
    Join Date
    Sep. 6, 2012
    Location
    Moved South from North Pole
    Posts
    728

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    The horses that Iza has on the giveaways forum look great. Anyone would be lucky to get one of them.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  8. #48
    Join Date
    Dec. 25, 2012
    Posts
    66

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    Thank you to all of you for your kindness, once again. I have had inquiries- mostly looking for beginner lesson horses, and these horses are not suited to that kind of work. Ideally, I would love for each of them to have their own person.

    Here is the current list- I do have one young horse here who belongs to someone else, and needs to be sold, or returned to the owner. They sent him here to be trained and sold, and I have worked with him, and he is wonderful. Please PM me for information. I do not want to make this an ad for a sale horse.

    The horses in need of homes I am hoping to place in the next two weeks, as in have them off of the farm, and into great loving homes. I have pictures that I can email. No video.

    1. 1997 16.1 Hand chestnut gelding Big boned and warmbloody build. Broke to walk, trot and canter. Loves to work, incredible work ethic and great sense of humor. Kind, quiet and not spooky, he would love to be a trail horse, or lower level dressage horse. Received a score of 70.3% from Hilda Gurney, in hand, and beat and approved warmblood stallion in the process. Loads, clips, ships. Barefoot with fabulous feet. Alpha in the pasture- not mean, just tells them how it will be.

    2. 1996 15.1 hand chestnut mare. Big built, very correct, with a gorgeous head and eye on her. This mare is kind, honest, and forward, without being rushy or quick. Big motor- but a super mind. Doesn’t spook, or buck, ever. Needs an intermediate or better rider, with finesse, as she doesn’t need to be grabbed in the mouth, or have someone unbalanced ride her. Talented enough to show, with three lovely gaits. She does have sweet itch, and comes with a brand new fly sheet for the next season. This mare is anxious in cross ties for the first several days she is back in work. Work her three days in a row, and she is a champ. Always kind under saddle- whether she has been in work, or not. Healthy with fabulous feet. Would also be great on trails, and the road never gets to long for her- she'd kill herself rather than quit on you. Therefore, she needs an experienced home.

    3. 1995 16.3 hand seal brown gelding. Wonderful to work with on the ground, will give big licky kisses, and is stunningly beautiful. Won his in hand class at DAD three years in a row. Beautiful feet, and the easiest keeper ever. He is broke to ride, but is a whole lot of horse, with an enormous spook. An OK walk, stunning trot, and world class canter. Would be best suited as a pasture mate, unless you are very, very talented. Easiest horse on the ground, ever.

    4. 1997 16.0 chestnut gelding. The world’s sweetest horse- bar none. Absolutely adorable, and an air fern, with amazing feet. Great horsie baby sitter- not mean, but does not tolerate anyone being nasty around him. Built like a truck, and as kind as he can be. Pasture ornament, only.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #49
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2007
    Posts
    1,087

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    I never read the Off-topic day posts, so sort of backed into this after the fact.

    Iza, good to hear you are coping with a very heart-rending situation and have been offered assistance.
    It's a real world, with real pain.
    You can do this tough situation; because you have to.

    "Falling down ain’t falling down if you don't cry when you hit the floor"
    - Alicia Keys

    "A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."
    - Eleanor Roosevelt

    Just hoping to cheer you on.

    The only advice I have is take a tennis ball and one of your dogs outside; get moving and play until you are smiling and laughing. Then return to dealing with the tough stuff again. Rinse, repeat.

    Go, girl!


    5 members found this post helpful.

  10. #50
    Join Date
    Jun. 27, 2005
    Location
    KY
    Posts
    4,654

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    Hi Iz.

    Happy to see you post.

    Your horses are beautiful.

    Hope you are getting some sunshine in PA.
    Here in KY it was really dreary for almost a week and now the sun is out and everybody's mood is also brighter.

    ************************
    \"Horses lend us the wings we lack\"



  11. #51
    Join Date
    Dec. 20, 2011
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    224

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    Quote Originally Posted by Freebird! View Post
    As someone who has been through a fair share of crap lately, I wanted to point a few things out...

    - Telling someone who is depressed, and or in the midst of grieving to "put on their big girl panties and suck it up" is not a help or an encouragement. It would be like me putting my 2 year old in a swimming pool, with out a life jacket, and screaming at her to "Swim!!"

    - Just because someone's perception of their situation may not be spot on, it doesn't make it any less painful for them. Their reality is their reality.

    - Grieving is a very personal thing. Just because you have been trained in XXXX or have dealt with ZZZZ does NOT mean that you know how YYYY feels, or even how to handle their situation.

    - Trying to "one up" someone who is in a crappy situation, also does not help. Pain is pain, and it always hurts.
    Bless this post. This is so true.


    7 members found this post helpful.

  12. #52
    Join Date
    May. 13, 2005
    Posts
    429

    Default WHAT?????

    Is it just me or is this not strange?

    I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

    People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then iza responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

    I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

    I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

    Am I the only one who feels this way?


    13 members found this post helpful.

  13. #53
    Join Date
    Sep. 11, 2011
    Posts
    1,194

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    Agree but I am dealing with a depressed friend and its like a black hole. Hard to understand at times but she is just not able to reach out or able to be appreciative.


    Another option-- appearing calm while still planning suicide.

    Or it was never as bad as written and its some sort of fabrication but I'm inclined to believe Iz.

    Or just not wanting to share anymore...

    At any rate, wishing Iz all the best. Thanks for checking in.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  14. #54
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2006
    Posts
    10,000

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    She's said thank you a million times, what else do you want?


    9 members found this post helpful.

  15. #55
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2007
    Location
    Beside Myself ~ Western NY
    Posts
    6,807

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    From what I know of IZ, it took a really low day to write what she did in OT and reach out for empathy and consolation. She is one tough lady. She doesn't usually "do" empathy unless it's for a horse. And I also know that the facts were pretty straight.

    I, for one, am glad to see her acting more like her usual self. It looks like this might have at least jump started the rehoming of several nice horses and given her a little better footing to start off the new year.


    12 members found this post helpful.

  16. #56
    Join Date
    Mar. 24, 2004
    Location
    Pottstown, PA (East Coventry)
    Posts
    3,070

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    I know that she has PMd a number of posters back that have offered to help. Likely she privately thanked them there too.
    Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community. (Tidy Rabbit)


    5 members found this post helpful.

  17. #57
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2012
    Posts
    4,267

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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
    Is it just me or is this not strange?

    I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

    People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then iza responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

    I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

    I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

    Am I the only one who feels this way?
    COTH: When you just can't get enough "barn drama."


    4 members found this post helpful.

  18. #58
    Join Date
    Nov. 2, 2001
    Location
    Packing my bags
    Posts
    31,920

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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
    Is it just me or is this not strange?

    I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

    People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then iza responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

    I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

    I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

    Am I the only one who feels this way?
    would you prefer somebody chiming in, telling us she put her head in the oven?

    For now she is putting her best foot forward. There is work yet unfinished.

    It was during the Christmas OT week, I think we have all gotten the memo by now that the happiest holidays do come with a lot of heart ache and suicides.

    I don't generally get upset when somebody causes no real harm while making up a story, there are untold numbers of lurkers at any given time. Maybe the collective outpour helped somebody else, who was not nor ever will be on our radar.

    Oh, and one can put a brave face forward for the few moments it takes to post. It's not like we get to see the baggy PJs and the bed hair at 3 in the afternoon...
    Quote Originally Posted by Mozart View Post
    Personally, I think the moderate use of shock collars in training humans should be allowed.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  19. #59
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2002
    Location
    Shippensburg, PA
    Posts
    1,688

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    Iz, I am thinking about you. You have had one heck of a load dumped on your shoulders.

    I hope you can see someone about supplemental hormones soon. I thought after a hysterectomy that was a must? I'm sorry that it seems not all of your dr's have done right by you.

    One little saying that plays through my head when I read what you are going through is "you can't control the wind, but you can adjust the sails." I hope you can slowly trudge through some of these issues piece by piece, and you may be surprised how suddenly things can start to correct themselves.

    You will certainly be in my thoughts
    Erin and
    Instant Karma "Sunny", ShineDown "Liam"

    "You can't control the wind, but you can adjust the sails."


    3 members found this post helpful.

  20. #60
    Join Date
    Mar. 25, 2010
    Posts
    1,166

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    Quote Originally Posted by Noodles View Post
    Is it just me or is this not strange?

    I mean there are countless number of COTHER's worried about this person and finally when iza responds there is not much concern for how worried and helpful others have been.

    People here thought iza was at the end.....and did so much to reach out.....then i/"
    za responds with..... being at work and a cop called......so no real worries...

    I guess I'm frustrated b/c If I reached out in the way iza did.....I'd have been so very low.....but so thankful for the help and Cother's calling police etc.....

    I don't know but something just doesn't fit?

    Am I the only one who feels this way?
    Im sorry but I don't think this poster has much experience with people with depression or hormone disorders. Iz made her intentions clear, then well meaning people called 911 on her. Now she knows that this forum is not going to just be a listening ear, but try to help also. My guess is that she does not want help (in the form of avoiding suicide), so she has decided to put on the bold front here and continue with her plans for settling her affairs. That way she avoids another call from the authorities.

    If anyone is close and able to actually stop in to see her, I think that would be great. I am in Calif so not at all close, but if I was, I would be very tempted to drop by with cookies and cocoa. Chocolate solves all problems (at least temporarily) supposedly.

    Frankly this situation has me terrified for Iz, as I think the people who are most likely to follow thru on suicide are the ones who can be calm, and competent, and look like they are carrying on when down inside the planning continues. And I have no great suggestions for how to convince her that staying in this world is better. Does she have any family who can come together for an intervention? She is TOO CALM in her recent posts. JMHO.


    15 members found this post helpful.

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