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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun. 30, 2006
    Location
    SF Bay Area, California
    Posts
    4,086

    Default Rock bottom: who's been there and back?

    A couple of threads got me thinking about how difficult and challenging life can be.

    I know what it's like to hit rock bottom, and come back from it, even though there were times I felt I never would.

    I'm a very private person, and considered creating an alter under which to post, but in the spirit of keeping things real, I decided not to.

    What I discovered during my darkest times were the people who understood best were the ones who had been there themselves. I didn't open up to a lot of people (see first part of above paragraph), so most people in my life don't have a clue how tough things were. What I appreciated were the people who checked in and said they were thinking about and loved me, what annoyed me were the texts or emails I got saying "stay positive", or "smile"...ugh...

    I learned it's okay to ask for help because even if people want to help, they may not be sure how to, and getting help is not always about money.

    As someone who has indeed hit rock bottom and survived, I wanted to throw this out there in case other people want to share as well. I thought it might help other people who may be feeling life will not get better.

    Anyone else want to share?
    Proud owner of a Slaughter-Bound TB from a feedlot, and her surprise baby...!
    http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e350/Jen4USC/fave.jpg
    http://i42.photobucket.com/albums/e3...SC/running.jpg


    3 members found this post helpful.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr. 10, 2005
    Location
    Spring, TX
    Posts
    487

    Default

    I've been there. My husband had to bring home food from his job to keep us fed and we used paper towels as toilet paper.

    We got through it, and don't ever want to go back.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    I have. At one point I lived in my car and didnt have a dog. To anyone who knows me, the no dog thing was a serious sign things were not so good.

    It has always been through the kindness of strangers that I have been saved, And the willingness to work my ass off, nothing else. I am grateful to the times things were hard because I learned so much and appreciate so much more.

    Having said that, I also have hit the emotional bottom and what I learned from that is what CTanners lovely mother always says: if money is your problem, you dont have a real problem. The problems that cannot be solved by throwing money at them are the real problems.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2003
    Posts
    2,571

    Default

    Oh, absolutely. I can remember fishing through my couch for spare change and picking through trash to find recyclables to feed my toddler son. I convinced the local grocery that I had a rabbit and would ask for vegetable trimmings. I made a lot of soup from that and mark-down goods. My first husband was the most irresponsible git ever. Horrible.
    Don't tell me about what you can't do. That's boring. Show me what you can do. - Mom



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 15, 2011
    Posts
    1,061

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by EqTrainer View Post
    Having said that, I also have hit the emotional bottom and what I learned from that is what CTanners lovely mother always says: if money is your problem, you dont have a real problem. The problems that cannot be solved by throwing money at them are the real problems.
    That is really, really good advice. Hope you don't mind if I print it and hang it up on my desk.
    *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by shiningwizard255 View Post
    That is really, really good advice. Hope you don't mind if I print it and hang it up on my desk.
    Oh sure. But give the credit to Marilyn Jensen. So true, isnt it?
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2007
    Location
    ....in a classroom in Fl, by the ocean
    Posts
    3,489

    Default

    I have hit bottom as recently as a few months ago. Phone was shut off, internet was shut off, power was nearly shut off, car was running ragged, I had very little dog food left, the cat was eating dog food, I had no food beside ramen that I got at Aldi. I had an eviction notice on my apt and had negative money in the bank. I was using the free wifi at libraries, it sucked.

    It happens really, really quick. I sold books, jewelry, bartered for food at the local farmers market, and I slowly picked myself back off. I started working at a new part time job and my boss was able to give me an advance for the rent. I am not sitting pretty yet and I have to watch my pennies, but its getting better.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb. 24, 2011
    Location
    Idaho
    Posts
    151

    Default

    I have. Lost my job a few years ago, got another with significantly less money, but only after spending all my emergency fund and money I didn't have to keep afloat. In the end, I lost my house to foreclosure, spending three months without heat in the meantime. The power was on but payment was overdue, same with water, and internet was long gone. Phone was overdue and in danger. Meanwhile, i'd gotten a new job that paid more, but because of their pay structure, i went without a paycheck for six weeks. While packing up the house and freezing my tail off. My mom gave me red beans and rice, but other than that, I ate a lot of grits.

    Money's still not coming out my ears, but I'm safe in my rented house, animals all have food, I have gas in my vehicle, etc. I'm even thinking I could save up for a new-to-me saddle in the first half of 2013.
    Nanakorobi yaoki: Seven times fall, eight times rise.
    http://reveilleandrinsie.blogspot.com


    3 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun. 25, 2004
    Location
    Carolinas
    Posts
    4,284

    Default

    Have had tough economic times, but not like some of you - very humbling to realize how well off one can be in comparison.

    Emotional rock bottom - been there and back a few times. It is hard but done correctly one returns wiser, stronger and with greater understanding of others' condition.
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    May. 2, 2011
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    1,623

    Default

    I've been one paycheck away from the street more than once. At one point, all we had was flour, water, pepper, and bread. We ate water gravy over bread for weeks.
    Once I ran away from him, there were many times I was broke, but if I couldn't make it on one job, I got a second job. I have a hard time having sympathy for those having a rough time. Have a short pity party then get to work. Today, I took notice of at least 5 help wanted signs. Yes, I am older but I know I can get a job if I need it.
    “It’s amazing what you can achieve when you make something mandatory and fine people if they don’t do it."
    Jimmy Fallon on Obamacare.



  11. #11

    Default

    Emotionally, yes. I don't really want to go into detail, but I can explain further in a pm, if anyone needs to talk (:
    “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 14, 2004
    Location
    Left coast, left wing, left field
    Posts
    5,843

    Default

    Teetering as we speak...
    Arrange whatever pieces come your way. - Virginia Woolf

    Did you know that if you say the word "GULLIBLE" really softly, it sounds like "ORANGES"?



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2010
    Posts
    4,955

    Default

    Joz--Are you OK? Anything I can do to help? I think we're in the same state.

    I can go emotionally at one point with Bluesy, but nowhere near the depths of hardship some of you have gone. This is one reason I am so vehement about a safety net. There are people who abuse it, but it's worth it to me to really help people who need it.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2000
    Location
    El Paso, TX
    Posts
    11,696

    Default

    I have twice. Once as a 17 yr old with no place to go. Snuck back in to an apt I was evicted from, and slept on the floor wrapped up in the drapes to try to stay warm. I had gotten an apt with a friend and her boyfriend. I was giving her my share of rent and utilities each month. I was working 2 jobs to support myself. Roomate stole money I gave her and I came home to an apt w/no utilities and an eviction notice on door.
    Ended up sleeping in my car for several days until I got my paycheck and was able to get a room in someone's home.

    Next time I had just gotten out of the military and was working selling cars. I had been there only a month, when my husband and I got divorced (4 days total time...filed on Dec 21, and final Dec 26.), then 2 weeks later the car dealership I worked for shut down, so I was out of a job. I had 3 dogs at the time. I would buy them food, and buy myself soup, and instant coffee. I pawned stuff a lot (like TV's, stereos, VCR's). I had good credit, but no job/real income, but made sure I paid my bills by pawning stuff. I also had my brother move in with me, and help paying rent on a tiny 2 bdm trailer. I got a job doing telemarketing and also started selling a multi-level marketing financial product. That barely got me thru, until I got another job selling cars.
    I kinda struggled up there because the town was small, and the first Desert Shield was going on. I often relied on my good credit to get short term signature loans to get me thru. that may sound strange, but without good credit, I couldn't have survived, because the car business was commission, so some months would be good, and some wouldn't. When I moved to a bigger city, I became successful in the car business. Got into mgmt. Then changed careers after 12 yrs.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr. 20, 2011
    Posts
    726

    Default

    geez, I'm with JoZ, teetering

    JoZ, if you need someone to commiserate with........ pm me!

    ETA:: this is what I posted on another thread

    well, the latter 1/2 of 2012 and the first 1/2 of 2013 are going to be chalked up to yuk for me. My husband is seriously ill, is going to be having a stem cell transplant, and we've been warned that the first 100 days will be the most critical. We're in the process of selling our pony that started us in this crazy horse world, as well as my 2 1/2yr filly who is my heart horse, and I couldn't be sadder about that. We're also facing losing our house if our loan modification is not approved.

    HOWEVER (because I look at the glass 1/2 full) if he makes it thru the transplant, then the last 1/2 of 2013, no matter what else happens, will turn out to be the BEST YEAR EVER! :-)
    Last edited by gabby.gator; Jan. 2, 2013 at 08:17 AM.


    2 members found this post helpful.

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