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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    9,791

    Default

    There is nothing wrong with getting an education to better your chances. Hell, you are bettering yourself. Even if you are doing "crap jobs," at least you've had an experience that not many have, something that makes you stand out, something. Sheesh.

    I have a four year degree and work a traditionally blue collar job (ha...literally). I make more than I ever thought I would with the degree I have, but it's NOT for everyone. And I have something to fall back on if I get hurt, or need side jobs. Getting training helps with getting/retaining jobs. It's a just a fact of life. Even workers at Mickey D's have "training" that they can put on their resumes to help them move up the ladder, if they so desire.

    OP: contact a shelter, let them know your situation. They generally have access to grant money, or will help you rehome. It sounds like you need to speak with an attorney about getting spousal support from the ex also. In the mean time, tell your children you need assistance; if you have a good relationship with them, they might be willing to help you out. No guarantees in that though. And put your place on the market now before you get foreclosed on. You cannot afford to live on your own, this is obvious. The reverse mortgage is going to bite you in the butt when you can't make those payments...if you can't feed yourself, your critters, your vehicle and are selling off household goods, you are at the end of your financial rope. Are you making a mortgage payment now? Or is it paid off? Talk to a real estate agency. Rehome your critters, at least the big ones, and either sell or give the property back to the bank before you wind up in the paper with neglected animals, living in an empty home with no heat. This is reality. Move to be closer to your children if you want, into a place with jobs, not 60 miles from the nearest anything.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Dec. 19, 2008
    Location
    Where The Snow Flies
    Posts
    2,444

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JanM View Post
    Because you were married for so long, you are entitled to any pensions or retirement he collects too. And call your sons. This is no time for false pride.

    And for jobs-there are lots of remote marketing like airline reservations that you do at your home. Many of the smaller airlines prefer to U.S. people to do this in their own home.

    http://www.ehow.com/how_5705489_work...ines-home.html This talks about Jet Blue, and all of their 800 clerks work from their own homes.

    And ask at every business within driving distance. The feed store, utility companies, everywhere and see if anyone needs even parttime help. Even the gas stations and convenience store or little local groceries might need someone.
    I recently got a position with Lionbridge Consulting which has Google as a client and you sit at home, rating the quality of search results and get paid $15 an hour for doing it. It's PT only. You have to work at least 10 hours a week and no more than 20 but it's money. You need to have an internet connection and download firefox. The application process is rigorous and you have to test to qualify but they give you all the material to study prior to your test. It's something to look into at the very least. If you can use a computer and know how to do a google search and can read, you can probably do this.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    10,447

    Default

    I know far more people who are 'bettering themselves' by working than by wasting money on an education with no practical applications. Are they sitting around reading the HuffPo and looking down their noses at the blue-collar worker? No. They're earning paychecks. I *was* a snob about college when I was in high school, but some of the best, hardest-working people I know are those 'burnouts' without a degree. Give me ten of them any day if I want to hire people who are going to show up and do their jobs. And they're not tens of thousands in debt. (I'm not, either, but I'm in the very small group of people whose family paid for their own education.)

    And most 'get this degree, earn a living!' programs are scams. I worked for a college that caters to that market (and one of my coworkers is killing himself working so he's got enough money to get through that college and transfer to a real school for a real degree.) I promise, everything they say to get students about employability and value of the degree (and ABSOLUTELY about their 'affordability') is a complete lie.

    OP-not a long-term solution, but there MUST be at least a church with a soup kitchen to feed you so you aren't starving yourself (in Dover NH I know we had a program all the local churches kicked into, taking turns running the hot-food distribution) and where people would have a lead on ways of getting your animal some food and keeping your utilities on and things like that.

    I have to ask-are you trying to sell your horses?



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2002
    Posts
    4,548

    Default

    op is there some way i can help from vermont?
    your situation frankly terrifies me--if i lost my job and my husband i could be in the same boat as you are despite the contingency plans i have. and there are several back ups to the back up plans.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2010
    Location
    All 'round Canadia
    Posts
    5,209

    Default

    Don't "broach the subject" with your sons. Tell them straight out, I have no gas, the horses are out of any food and so am I, I have $0.50 left in my wallet. The other posters are right, it's no time for pride. Tell your kids bluntly and ask them to send some money so you won't starve.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  6. #26
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    18,032

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Bluey View Post
    Where is Cloudandcallie when we need her?

    She would first vet the OP, then organize the right kind of help needed here.
    Boy isn't that the truth! Calling Cloudyandcallie!
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    18,032

    Default

    OP where do you live? Town and state? Maybe a kind COTHer can bring you a bag of feed, some cat food and dinner. If you're anywhere near me, Tractor Supply is still open until 6. Let us know.
    "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." ~Immanuel Kant


    3 members found this post helpful.

  8. #28
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2002
    Posts
    4,548

    Default

    i got a gift card for tractor supply for christmas. i could send it to you.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  9. #29
    Join Date
    Apr. 29, 2006
    Posts
    3,435

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    Quote Originally Posted by Over the Hill View Post
    I applied for a reverse mortgage on the farm as a last resort. I know it's not the best thing to do, but I'm out of options. It will take a month to two months for that to come to fruition.
    There is no shame is accessing a reverse mortgage. You are simply accessing savings. If the bank is able to give you a reverse mortgage, they should be able to provide a short term line of credit until the funds from the mortgage comes through.

    Can you pack up your items and take them into a consignment store in the nearest town/city? No charge to sell and must more accessible to buyers. Same with your horse items. Is there a consignment store nearby that could take them?

    If you are in a rural area, I'll assume kids takes buses to school. What about looking into becoming a school bus driver?

    All the best with it. May 2013 bring better things your way.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
    Join Date
    May. 6, 2005
    Posts
    814

    Default

    The COTH crew sure knows the meaning of pay it forward! You all are amazing - great, concrete suggestions. OP, let us know how you are doing.



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Apr. 25, 2011
    Posts
    856

    Default

    Where are you located? If I'm close, I'll hop on over.



  12. #32
    Join Date
    Jun. 27, 2005
    Location
    KY
    Posts
    4,665

    Default

    OP lives in Sunny Florida?

    ************************
    \"Horses lend us the wings we lack\"



  13. #33
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    855

    Default

    First, here is a place that is always hiring if you have a drivers license (No CDL needed). Lots of retired folks use it as supplemental income. You basicly drive train crews from their train to their hotel or home terminal, they have driver openings nationwide They will also help with transportation to get the vans they use. http://www.professionaltransportatio...r-application/

    Second, please PM me your name and address, I have a $50 visa gift card that I bought as a just in case I forgot somebody gift and would be happy to send it to you.

    Third, I just loaned my dad money today, don't be afraid to ask your kids, they probably spent half of their life borrowing from you (I know I spent half my life borrowing from my dad) and would/should be willing to give you a hand up if you need it.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  14. #34
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    5,878

    Default

    If someone can get the OP to PM an address, I'd be more than happy to go fill a flat-rate USPS box with all the non-perishable food items I can fit in it.
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
    lies with in us. - Emerson


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #35
    Join Date
    Oct. 15, 2011
    Posts
    1,129

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Heinz 57 View Post
    If someone can get the OP to PM an address, I'd be more than happy to go fill a flat-rate USPS box with all the non-perishable food items I can fit in it.
    The same. That is a really good idea.
    *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #36
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,078

    Default

    Where in Florida? I am not that far from Florida (savannah, up 95) but I don't want to be going down 95 or 10 or 75 on new Year's eve. I survived going to the barn this morning and back, but only because the methingham sheriff's office is all over the roads.

    OP, can your sons give you enough money to last till after tomorrow? And why aren't they helping you out with transportation and money? And yes, I've not read the thread as I just came home and got email.
    Name that feedstore and #, altho it will probably close early today.

    While I totally disapprove of breeding by 99% of everyone, I don't like hungry horses or cats or dogs.

    And go to flahorse.com and post there. Lots of people there are helpful and maybe someone can come by and deliver some hay till you can give away your horses. And bring you a bag of dry cat food.

    People! Do not wait until you are out of feed on a holiday weekend and then say "help me!" I am totally shocked at the lack of support systems by families. If I didn't have anything, my widowed aunts in SC would take me and my animals in, including the 2 horses.

    OK now I'll read the thread. Someone send me an email to come here when I got home. Since I still cannot figure out my iPhone, and am doing FaceTime with everyone, accidentally.

    If someone can go drop off some bales of hay and cat food to last a few days, I'll contribute. (OK who snitched and said my pension check comes a day early before holidays?)

    Are your sons adults or minors? If adults, they should help you out. If minors, is their father paying child support?


    5 members found this post helpful.

  17. #37
    Join Date
    Oct. 12, 2005
    Location
    Va
    Posts
    3,259

    Default

    Where are you in Fla? If within 100 miles I can get you feed for critturs, some groceries and buy you dinner!


    5 members found this post helpful.

  18. #38
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2005
    Location
    Southern California - Hemet
    Posts
    1,696

    Default

    If you have computer skills, there are lots of tasks that can be found on Odesk.com. You do need to sift carefully through the gigs offered there, as quite a few of them are geared toward contractors in developing countries and pay very little. However, I've managed to keep up a small steady stream of things like proofreading and writing product descriptions to keep some extra cash flow going. You get paid about 5 days after you finish a task and it goes directly into your bank account or PayPal account.

    My best wishes and jingles for you.



  19. #39
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2012
    Posts
    4,320

    Default

    Does anyone but me ever wonder if some of these extreme "down 'n out" threads are a creepy form of trolling?

    Most people who have pets, a house, and other responsibilities would not be caught dead waiting until things are this desperate unless severe depression, addiction, or similar is in play. Trainwrecks like this don't just happen, suddenly--they are the karma of YEARS of bad decision-making; or NON-decision making.

    The other thread running like this, the woman had lost her live-in boyfriend, BUT STILL HAD a farm, boarders, and a job; that isn't "destitution" in my world.

    In this case, this woman has children who are presumably comfortable--WTF is in play when they'd let their MOTHER go without food in the house, gas in the truck or a haybale in the stable?

    Sorry, but these yarns just don't make it through my real-world filter. They could even be started by scammers HOPING you'll fill up their PayPal account! There's just a lot of weird sh*! on the Internet.


    4 members found this post helpful.

  20. #40
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2005
    Posts
    3,504

    Default

    I guess that's possible, Lady Eboshi, but I wouldn't want fear of being scammed to keep me from helping someone genuinely in need.

    When I donate money (to whatever cause), I only give as much as I can without missing it. That way, if it does actually help someone in need, I've accomplished my goal, but if it doesn't, it doesn't really matter. At least I tried.
    "Are you yawning? You don't ride well enough to yawn. I can yawn, because I ride better than you. Meredith Michael Beerbaum can yawn. But you? Not so much..."
    -George Morris


    7 members found this post helpful.

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