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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2007
    Location
    Sunny Florida
    Posts
    740

    Default Over my own personal "cliff"

    Warning!!!! This is very long and whiny....

    I've fought the good fight.
    And now must give up the ship.
    I'm now over my own personal cliff and don't know how to save myself.

    I am down to a handful of change ....
    Last night I fed the last of my horse feed.
    I have enough hay to see them through the day.
    The kitties have enough food for today.
    I ran out of most staples for myself last week.

    I do not have enough money to put gas in my truck to get to the feed store 60 miles away.(They would hold my check for a few days to give me some time).

    I sensed this was coming. I tried to save it by selling off my horse stuff and household items. I have had saddles and tack, blankets and all sorts of stuff listed for months.... it's all still here... over the week end I've fielded 37 calls for household goods, it's all still here, too.

    I live in the middle of nowhere. A yard sale is out. I don't have the funds to advertise other than on free sites.

    I can't work because there are no jobs here. (rural, rural, rural)

    I have broached the subject with both my grown sons, who tell me that they have faith in me, I've always found a way before.

    I have no friends. I have acquaintences, who don't really hear.

    I had dreams... I had hopes...this was going to be the place we retired and breed a few nice foals and ride and show and enjoy. Then my parents needed me to take care of them, and for the ten years that I was their sole caregiver, my dreams were put on hold. My husband of 44 years abruptly left me for another woman as my mother lay dying in the nursing home. He vowed he would not support me. He left, I got the farm and the animals and I felt really lucky. But I cannot find a job. I drive a truck with over 200K miles on it. I downsized. I took an early Social Security in order to stay afloat til I could find something, but because of my lack of recent work history, and my age, and the fact that I do not have an education beyond some college courses and never had a "career" I cannot find work.

    I applied for a reverse mortgage on the farm as a last resort. I know it's not the best thing to do, but I'm out of options. It will take a month to two months for that to come to fruition.

    I just needed to get this out. Please, listen to what people have to say. Don't judge them because you probably don't have to whole story. Don't judge them because it could happen to you as well some day.

    I just got an e-mail that someone is going to come get the bed I have for sale ... if they show up, it will put gas in my truck. If they get here in time for me to make the trip to the feed store who closes early today...

    Sorry, COTH, you are all I got...
    "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you..."



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 25, 2011
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    5,041

    Default

    I feel your pain and you're in my thoughts and prayers. Rest assured you are not the only one in this position right now, and I'm not speaking figuratively. I hug you from Pennsylvania.

    I would never judge you. I hope the reverse mortgage works out.
    Paula
    He is total garbage! Quick! Hide him on my trailer (Petstorejunkie).



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 1999
    Location
    Central FL
    Posts
    4,379

    Default

    Up. You just go up. You pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get through it one small step at a time. If you have come through all of that, you can make it the rest of the way as well. Take some time to stop, to breathe, to plan, then, to act. It won't be easy, but you can do it. Hugs to you. Don't give up.



    Just as you posted for someone else.

    We hear you, we pray for you and yours, and hopefully we all take this as a cautionary tale.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 1, 2001
    Location
    Finally...back in civilization, more or less
    Posts
    11,438

    Default

    Please... call a social services agency, or a local church. There are people out there who can help, and they are there for emergencies such as this one.

    Sending hugs and prayers that things will be much better for you in the New Year.

    http://www.myflfamilies.com/service-...nce-and-suncap

    http://www.dcf.state.fl.us/access/CPSLookup/search.aspx

    If there is not much work available locally, could you perhaps work from home for a customer service organization? IIRC, several COTHers do this and seem to be happy. Here is an overview: http://womenforhire.com/work_from_home/
    **********
    We move pretty fast for some rabid garden snails.
    -PaulaEdwina


    5 members found this post helpful.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr. 25, 2002
    Posts
    355

    Default

    Got a paypal address?


    12 members found this post helpful.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec. 1, 1999
    Location
    flyover country
    Posts
    1,917

    Default wow

    For your immediate needs, you need to call your kids, and tell them you need help NOW. Like bring/send money. Today. If they bring it, perhaps a gas can with some gas in it as well, and a bag of feed since you can't leave. Have you not sued for support from hubby? Or was it, I'll give you the property, don't bug me for money.


    I will add you to my prayer list.
    Another killer of threads


    1 members found this post helpful.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2003
    Posts
    1,700

    Default

    Please hang in. It can and will get better. In the meantime, can you apply to your local social services for aid? There is no shame in that. That's why the social safety net is there. Please keep us updated.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug. 6, 2002
    Location
    NJ, USA
    Posts
    2,214

    Default

    Can you call a shelter or animal control today, so they know you have soon to be starving animals on the place - would they help? Just trying to prevent your story from being the next "starving, neglected horses found" one.

    Not judging, I could never do that, I've been close to the edge myself. But that was what I was going to do, if I could not feed my pets - call in the authorities, blow the whistle on myself, I couldn't bear them going hungry one day.

    Do you have any kind of trailer? That was the other part of my disaster plan, hook up my old horse trailer, & drive off with everything I had left, to a racetrack in season - park in the parking lot & offer services as a hotwalker or groom. Only 200-300 a week but something a horseperson knows how to do & could at least feed you. I planned to bring 2 kitties with me.

    It was a sad plan (a lot of kitties, dogs & horses would have had to go to friends or the shelter) but it was a plan.

    Lesson for younger ladies (again not judging you OP, we all do stuff we later know was a mistake!) don't put all your eggs in the bucket of a "man" or "husband". Get your own job history, and someway to earn a living wage - LPN, MS Office certification so you can be a clerk at least - something to prove to yourself you can pull your own weight before you let the man become sole wage owner, so you have something to fall back on should prince charming become a loser.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    40,097

    Default

    Well, that is a terrible situation and I feel sorry and alarmed about your situation.

    Then, it is not like all that just happened and you could not have been doing something before it was up to the current cliff.

    Waiting until you are out of food for your horses, gas for your car?
    I think you may ought to consider consulting with a social worker, there is more there than it seems, I would say.

    Sorry, maybe you didn't explain enough, maybe I am not quite understanding the situation, but that is first that came to mind.

    -

    Edited to add, no one had answered yet when I started writing and I see others have much better ideas for you than I could come with.

    Hope all works out for you, once you find help.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 6, 2002
    Location
    NJ, USA
    Posts
    2,214

    Default

    I feel I was a bit harsh in my post too OP, after reading other's suggestions.

    If you do have a PayPal account I can send something too, PM me. Not trying to enable, but just to buy you a few more days to think about your options!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 30, 2007
    Location
    Sunny Florida
    Posts
    740

    Default

    Lesson for younger ladies (again not judging you OP, we all do stuff we later know was a mistake!) don't put all your eggs in the bucket of a "man" or "husband". Get your own job history, and someway to earn a living wage - LPN, MS Office certification so you can be a clerk at least - something to prove to yourself you can pull your own weight before you let the man become sole wage owner, so you have something to fall back on should prince charming become a loser.
    I have been trying to tell my granddughters this since they were little. There are just too many "what-ifs" in life...

    and bauhaus : thank you.
    "I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you..."



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2009
    Location
    Knoxville, TN
    Posts
    1,886

    Default

    Please call animal control. I know our local officers are amazing, and I would hope yours would try to help as well. Even if all they can do is remove your animals, they will at least be fed. My thoughts are with you.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    40,097

    Default

    Where is Cloudandcallie when we need her?

    She would first vet the OP, then organize the right kind of help needed here.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct. 15, 2011
    Posts
    1,106

    Default

    Many food pantries have cat and dog food as well, if you have one of those near you. I'm so sorry OP. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
    *Wendy* 4.17.73 - 12.20.05


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #15
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2001
    Location
    Cullowhere?, NC
    Posts
    8,584

    Default

    Terrifying. I wish you something to get you back on a road toward saving it. Don't know what else to say.
    "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

    Spay and neuter. Please.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    8,190

    Default

    Because you were married for so long, you are entitled to any pensions or retirement he collects too. And call your sons. This is no time for false pride.

    And for jobs-there are lots of remote marketing like airline reservations that you do at your home. Many of the smaller airlines prefer to U.S. people to do this in their own home.

    http://www.ehow.com/how_5705489_work...ines-home.html This talks about Jet Blue, and all of their 800 clerks work from their own homes.

    And ask at every business within driving distance. The feed store, utility companies, everywhere and see if anyone needs even parttime help. Even the gas stations and convenience store or little local groceries might need someone.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White


    9 members found this post helpful.

  17. #17
    Join Date
    May. 24, 2006
    Posts
    2,891

    Default

    I am so sorry for your situation OP...I know that in this area there are some groups that collect and store pet food and livestock feed for just these types of situations. Perhaps you could google it, or call your nearest animal shelter and see if they could point you in the right direction. For your own needs is there a church or school group that supplies emergency help for people in your situation. There are unfortunately so many people in your situation these days that many support groups have sprung up.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,577

    Default

    I'm sorry, OP. Hang in there.
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2007
    Location
    Montana
    Posts
    4,967

    Default

    OP I'm so sorry-we live close enough to the edge that I feel for you being so much closer to it!

    I live in a very very rural small town-the AC here does stock pile dog and cat food to help out people in your situation. Here they are very trust-worthy and they don't want to take your animals as much as you want to keep them and they will help; I hope yours are the same way but it's worth a shot today.

    I work at our small local feel store (which is how I know the AC stock piles dog/cat food) and I can tell you that we always have broken bags of feed or outdated feed or sample bags of feed in the back that isn't out on the shelves and we give those to folks in your situation.

    If you can have a land line and high speed internet you can work from home; you're obviously very well-spoken and literate. Look at the websites for the Stay at home mom jobs-that's where they're mostly marketed. I've even done occasional work online being a sample juror or answering questions after a trial presentation to help the lawyers hone their case, you can apply for those online. Surveys, become a coupon monster, free offers, just spend some time every day looking for deals that will help. I lived 50 miles from town for 10 years and managed to hook and crook my way through when my kids were little. Scrap-talk to people, make offers, there must be kids that need to be watched where you are (I know-a career choice right up there with cleaning houses as far as I'm concerned but it pays. If you get paid in advance) I babysat kids and critters, delivered luggage for the airlines, tons of oddball things, keep scrapping.

    Ask those kids if there is something you can do for them for that cash or if they will just spot dear old mom $100 for a while. Sounds like maybe they're distant but that's fine; tell them you're up against the wall and you hate to ask but you're asking.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2007
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    10,300

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Arcadien View Post
    don't put all your eggs in the bucket of a "man" or "husband". Get your own job history, and someway to earn a living wage - LPN, MS Office certification so you can be a clerk at least - something to prove to yourself you can pull your own weight before you let the man become sole wage owner, so you have something to fall back on should prince charming become a loser.
    *snort* Right, because THAT always works out so well. Welcome to the new economy-there's no falling back. There aren't jobs in most places. And for heaven's sake, don't become a nurse, the programs are choked because too many people think it's a guaranteed income when it's not, and it's not a job you can just plug through. I always was raised on 'career', 'do something that pays' (ie noncreative), and school over everything. So I'm a single-income household STILL doing the crap jobs I'd be doing if I didn't have any sort of degree, and no prospects of a decent husband. There IS no fallback or safety net any more and trying to be 'independent' via work is a joke. If I didn't have investments I'd have nothing.



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