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  1. #121
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    Mar. 4, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by TarheelJD View Post
    Sorry, this now seems like a troll to me. No one can be this self destructive and stupid.
    Never underestimate the self-destructive capabilities of human beings.

    StG


    4 members found this post helpful.

  2. #122
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    Aug. 30, 2011
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    Massachusetts
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    1,335

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    ^^ Yeah.

    Honestly this kinda crazy behavior + absolute denial is common enough with active alcoholics. Just sayin.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  3. #123
    Join Date
    Jan. 14, 2003
    Location
    Massachusetts
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    5,785

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brookes View Post
    OP you are either a total troll, trying to get a rise out of the married women on this board or the most self involved little twit I have ever seen!

    You are clueless and yes just plain thoughtless, selfish and nasty.

    The wife doesn't want to give up her BMW eh? How freaking dare you! You have no idea what she has to put up with. She gave birth to his children and is raising them! She pledged herself to that man! What she drives has nothing to do with you. Geez are you still in high school or something??

    This is somebody's life you are screwing with honey! You are screwing around with the lives of his children! Won't they adore you for a step mother eh?!!

    No woman deserves to have her husband turn into a cheating dirt bag. And if young woman such as you would keep their nasty little legs closed it wouldn't be an issue!!! Selfish selfish selfish! God I hate woman like you!
    Sorry, I've met the wives with the scumbag cheating husbands who put up with it purely for financial reasons. I knew one woman years ago, well enough to confide in me regularly that if her husband ever dared to leave her she would make sure he did not have so much as a pair of underwear left by the time she was done with him. she also shared that she got preggo on purpose because he was good husband material (meaning he was finishing up an engineering degree and would have a good income). This was back in the 60's when, if someone got pregnant, there was no question of getting married. She never worked a day and never had any more children because she did not particularly even want the first one but needed him in order to trap the husband. They are still married to this day. He is and has always been a cheater and as long as the paychecks keep coming and they maintain the second home, airplane and fat retirement account for his impending retirement, she will continue to turn a blind eye.

    You are very naive if you think that there are not women out there who care more about the BMW.

    And as far as "getting a rise out of married women"? I've never understood the "hang onto your husbands, here comes the homewrecker mentality". My partner is committed to me and should there ever be any cheating it would be an issue between myself and my spouse, not the person my spouse cheated with. The "other woman" is not the one I married or whom I have a commitment with, it is my spouse who would be held 100% accountable.

    of course, that would then force me to take a pretty harsh look at what had gone on in my marriage which might also mean taking a good hard look at myself and the relationship I thought I had. But I would not be blaming any third party for my cheating spouse.


    16 members found this post helpful.

  4. #124
    Join Date
    Oct. 2, 2012
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    1,819

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    Let's see...OP seems to love drama and being in situations where she is likely to get hurt. She wants to ride a beast to exhaustion, but leave it and go home to her empty apartment, no strings. Someone else feeds and cleans...
    A helmet saved my life.

    2014 goal: learn to ride like TheHorseProblem, er, a barn rat!



  5. #125
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    Dec. 30, 2012
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    8

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    I admit when he first contacted me again, I was a little freaked out, but now I'm feeling better. He texted me this morning.

    For those who say all he does is talk crap with his cop buddies: So what? He's a man, talking with his buddies. What do you think he'd say, hey everybody, she's the love of my life! LOL That'd get him laughed off the force. I'm sure it's nothing worse than what I say about him to my friends.

    I didn't take booze and xanax. It was booze and trazadone. So not all that serious. Just wanted to relax and sleep really good.

    And yes, there are women that only care about the BMW. I tell you what, if he were my man and some hussy was screwing around with him, I'd jump down her throat with my claws out and take her head off. This one doesn't seem to do a darn thing. Except get mad if her paycheck gets too far out of line.

    I mean seriously. Would you leave your husband alone on memorial weekend? Or Easter? He's called me from the field to go see him on Xmas because he's alone. WTF, I wouldn't do that to any husband of mine.

    Not blaming her, don't get panties in a wad. He is pretty f'd up, like I said before. He's got some serious issues that can't be easy to live with. But why treat him worse.

    THat's probably why he still wants to see me I don't give him anything but TLC. What a crime. If she doesn't want him, why shouldn't I see him?

    I'm not a troll, but I admit some of the responses here crack me up.



  6. #126
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2006
    Posts
    505

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    Rationalize all you like, but you KNOW this is wrong. For whatever reason, the drama you are creating is doing something for you, and as you've already admitted, you like the rush.

    If using these boards as a substitute for your psych is helping, by all means, keep going. But I think you like (crave/need?) the drama, any way you can get it.

    Thank goodness you are seeing a therapist, but you also have to put in the hard work required to fix this, you know that, right? Now do it.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  7. #127
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2010
    Location
    All 'round Canadia
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    5,163

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    Quote Originally Posted by badalter View Post
    This one doesn't seem to do a darn thing. Except get mad if her paycheck gets too far out of line.
    And you're getting all this from the most objective source of them all: the slimeball who's cheating on her.

    No, I don't think OP is a troll. She's just someone out for a good time with no strings attached, and callously uncaring about who is being hurt by her behavior. Exactly the same as he is; between the two of them the man is far worse, since he's the one who made a commitment and is breaking it.


    9 members found this post helpful.

  8. #128
    Join Date
    Jan. 5, 2009
    Location
    Southern Colorado
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    293

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    Addiction is addiction. Addiction to a person or bad behavior or Drama...it's toxic.
    There will always be people (players) who love that excitement. Human nature (nasty side of it anyway) Oh well.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  9. #129
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
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    4,586

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    Oh dear lord. Whatever, badalter. Was feeling a bit for you earlier. But now I think you deserve what you are sure to get.
    "Aye God, Woodrow..."


    13 members found this post helpful.

  10. #130
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    Aug. 18, 2004
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    1,367

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    Quote Originally Posted by sketcher View Post
    Sorry, I've met the wives with the scumbag cheating husbands who put up with it purely for financial reasons. I knew one woman years ago, well enough to confide in me regularly that if her husband ever dared to leave her she would make sure he did not have so much as a pair of underwear left by the time she was done with him. she also shared that she got preggo on purpose because he was good husband material (meaning he was finishing up an engineering degree and would have a good income). This was back in the 60's when, if someone got pregnant, there was no question of getting married. She never worked a day and never had any more children because she did not particularly even want the first one but needed him in order to trap the husband. They are still married to this day. He is and has always been a cheater and as long as the paychecks keep coming and they maintain the second home, airplane and fat retirement account for his impending retirement, she will continue to turn a blind eye.

    You are very naive if you think that there are not women out there who care more about the BMW.

    And as far as "getting a rise out of married women"? I've never understood the "hang onto your husbands, here comes the homewrecker mentality". My partner is committed to me and should there ever be any cheating it would be an issue between myself and my spouse, not the person my spouse cheated with. The "other woman" is not the one I married or whom I have a commitment with, it is my spouse who would be held 100% accountable.

    of course, that would then force me to take a pretty harsh look at what had gone on in my marriage which might also mean taking a good hard look at myself and the relationship I thought I had. But I would not be blaming any third party for my cheating spouse.
    Oh, right. We aren't responsible for the effects of our decisions. Yep, that's how many people justify becoming involved with a married person. Just because you don't make a vow to someone doesn't mean you shouldn't be a decent human being.

    Until you see the bank accounts for yourself, you can't assume this wife isn't the wealthy one. Perhaps this guy wants to stay married as she's the gravy train. That's been known to happen too. OP cant take anything he says at face value.


    11 members found this post helpful.

  11. #131
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    Mar. 12, 2006
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    4,343

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    Because she has kids. That's why you leave it.
    What are they learning? Stay in a loveless marriage?

    Take away the TLC and he finally gets motivated to end the marriage and start something healthy. On Christmas, Memorial Day etc. he is not only not with his wife, but not with his kids. To be with you.


    6 members found this post helpful.

  12. #132
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    Mar. 9, 2004
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    2,824

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    I think anyone who sleeps with a married man is a pile o' crap. You are ruining lives, not just his & yours, but his wife's and god forbid any children he may have. It's selfish and wrong. Anything he tells you is a lie, if he can be so selfish & dishonest to his wife, then you're kidding yourself if you think you mean anything to him other than a piece of ass.
    I've never understood cheating within any relationship, especially a marriage. How anyone can go home to the person they "supposedly" love, look them in the eye and pretend that they haven't committed the ultimate betrayal?. If you're truly unhappy and have no interest in repairing the relationship, get the hell out, nothing wrong with that..but to be so deceitful and cruel, over and over again is the act of a person without a soul or a shred of decency.
    "You can't blame other people. You can't always say what happened wasn't my fault, and you know what? Even if you have an excuse, shut up. "Bruce Davidson Sr.


    14 members found this post helpful.

  13. #133
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    Aug. 5, 2006
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    5,045

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    Oh no. I'm sitting here in my BMW reading this latest development. Oh no I'm a married woman who drives a BMW. Look out husband, I don't care about you. Just my car. Good thing he's an engineer and not a cop or Ruh roo it might be my husband. Snort


    3 members found this post helpful.

  14. #134
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    Dec. 2, 2009
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    3,444

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    badalter, have you thought perhaps that she has "left him alone" on holidays because he's told HER he has to work? Or that she has to see her family and he won't go?

    My husband and I spent 9 months apart not because I didn't love him, but because I had gotten another job in another state and he was trying to get a job here to join me. We still had a house we couldn't sell, so he was there because we needed the money and it had to get sold. He didn't cheat, but it would have been very easy for him to lie to someone and say that we were separated or that I just didn't care, and the house was empty to prove it.

    I'm not saying this to be judgey judgey, but to protect *yourself* it's better to not mess around with a married man because he is probably lying to you.

    Yes, lots of wives are horrible evil awful creatures. But it's best for *you* if he works that out for himself. You are enabling him to stay in that "awful" marriage by being his bit on the side.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  15. #135
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    Dec. 29, 1999
    Location
    Harrisburg, PA USA
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    6,093

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    He's still married? LOL, if he wanted to be rid of his wife, he'd have divorced her. Men have no problems dumping women they don't want. So if he's married he WANTS to stay married.

    What's happening here is he got frisky over the holidays, wants to fool around on the side & knows you're an easy lay in that you'll put up with him not leaving his wife, so he can have you both. And apparently he's right. You're all in a dither because you think he wants you. If you could mail him your cooter he'd be fine with that.


    8 members found this post helpful.

  16. #136
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    Mar. 24, 2012
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    1,721

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    troll yanking your chains and getting the reaction she wanted to get


    4 members found this post helpful.

  17. #137
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    Apr. 5, 2004
    Location
    Canada
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    I think the OP is actually in love with him, but is allowing the situation to continue as on/off so she can brush it off as "I don't want things to be serious" anyways to make herself feel better. He's liking the situation because he gets to have a serious, committed, adult relationship (wife) and also get the excitement (and sexual favours) of a girlfriend who laughs at his jokes instead of bug him about his dirty laundry.

    A girlfriend of mine is in the same situation, except she and her MM have been together 4+ years, no on/off. The MM's wife is deeply religious, as is his family. Every year there are new stories of him leaving, and every year it never seems to happen. Whether he's happy or not, I highly doubt he'll ever have the balls to abandon her. It's easy to tiptoe around with my friend. I have no doubt it'll be revealed his wife is pregnant or something.

    Sigh I guess, to the OP, what do you want to know? Truthfully a long-term relationship is not typically very exciting, or sexy, or full of doubt and mystery or intrigue. Even if this guy did leave his wife/kids, chances are most likely after you've seen him warts and all, and the BMW is a piece of metal instead of a sex symbol, it's only a matter of time before it's you staying up all night, wondering where he is; who he's with.... because it won't be you!
    A quick tutorial on interval training: Conditioning your horse for eventing


    2 members found this post helpful.

  18. #138
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    Feb. 1, 2012
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    Vermont
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    5,077

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    Whatever the reasons...the OP is still a POS.
    "If you think nobody cares about you, try missing a couple payments..."


    1 members found this post helpful.

  19. #139
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    Dec. 30, 2012
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    8

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    UPDATE!!

    I finally told him to PISS OFF! And just to make sure, I called his wife. I didn't say anything, I just wanted him to know I have the number. She called back, I answered but didn't say anything. I got my point across!

    HAVEN'T HEARD FROM HIM SINCE!!


    1 members found this post helpful.

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