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  1. #101
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    Mar. 12, 2006
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    I'm not at his beck and call. I prefer being alone, I don't need anybody to go to social functions with. I don't want a 'relationship' regular or otherwise. I like being able to send him home. No laundry, no mess, no fights...its nice in that respect.
    You do know that there are about a MILLION guys who would love to pop in, get laid and leave that don't have a wife and kids? That you don't have to be guilty about having sex with. That you don't need to text after you had some xanax and vodka? Today... you see that a lot.

    You obviously feel like shit about what you are doing. It doesn't sound like you "love" the guy. He isn't going to leave his wife, and you don't want that. If you need the company or affection, find someone new, unattached. OR go sit down, the three of you, and make an open relationship.

    But if you need booze and xanax to face dealing with a person, something is WRONG. Even if he wasn't married. Even if he was just a friend. ANy friend you need drugs to deal with needs to be out of your life.


    5 members found this post helpful.

  2. #102
    Join Date
    Dec. 26, 2008
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    1,065

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    Quote Originally Posted by Southernlawyer View Post
    If he's in law enforcement, how can he buy his wife a BMW? Two plus people living on a cop's salary is not a posh lifestyle. Fwiw I don't believe the details of your post, but I do think some people have a need for excitement. Perhaps it is your job that is the problem. There are plenty of high adrenaline jobs that might be a more productive outlet for your need for excitement than this. Seriously. I'm not judging, but it does seem that the only thing for you in this is the thrill of playing a role in someone else's dysfunctional life. Lots of people do stay together for the money but lead separate lives. That may be his arrangement with his wife, but why get mixed up in that. We're women. If we want some, all we have to do is go to a bar and field the offers. Really. Men have to pay for sex. Women get paid. So it has always been. If it is sex you want, it is available for free.
    Depends on where he's at and what he does. My ex makes $80,000 a year as a street patrolman. He isn't in a specialized unit, a detective or anything else and has only been at it for 5 or 6 years.....



  3. #103
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
    Location
    Deep South
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    14,242

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    Grow up, put on your big girl panties and tell MM to get stuffed.
    ... _. ._ .._. .._


    3 members found this post helpful.

  4. #104
    Join Date
    Jun. 26, 2001
    Location
    California
    Posts
    1,272

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    OP you are either a total troll, trying to get a rise out of the married women on this board or the most self involved little twit I have ever seen!

    You are clueless and yes just plain thoughtless, selfish and nasty.

    The wife doesn't want to give up her BMW eh? How freaking dare you! You have no idea what she has to put up with. She gave birth to his children and is raising them! She pledged herself to that man! What she drives has nothing to do with you. Geez are you still in high school or something??

    This is somebody's life you are screwing with honey! You are screwing around with the lives of his children! Won't they adore you for a step mother eh?!!

    No woman deserves to have her husband turn into a cheating dirt bag. And if young woman such as you would keep their nasty little legs closed it wouldn't be an issue!!! Selfish selfish selfish! God I hate woman like you!
    Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!!


    21 members found this post helpful.

  5. #105
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2002
    Location
    canada
    Posts
    358

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    Quote Originally Posted by badalter View Post
    Well, here goes.

    Today is his bday. I knew I shouldn't do it. I didn't want to. But I did. I texted him.

    F**K

    Like an alcoholic. Its horrible.

    Nobody here is a victim. You may say the wife, well, she caught us once, who knows how many others there have been and she doesn't leave. Even when she caught us, he was calling me two weeks later.

    Personally I think it helps when I'm there. He doesn't bug her for sex and affection, she doesn't have to keep telling him to F off, I get to play and its win win win. They were actually getting along better when were in the middle of last time. Just at the end I think we pushed it. She doesn't want to lose that BMW.

    He's nuts. I can't imaging being married to that. Hyper-vigilant, suspicious and non trusting of anything and anyone. And desperate for affection. Just would take forever to get close to anyone, which is fine with me. Except after two years we kinda did.

    I'm seeing my shrink wed. In the meantime I'll wash down my anti depressants with vodka aand try not to cry.

    I don't know if I will see him again. He wants to, but leaves it up to me. He's a lot like me, but he's got a lot more going on. But I got a bad feeling. But its also a good feeling, like I'm going to get my fix. Sick, I know.

    he is in law enforcement.
    OMG, you are kidding right? Sorry now my BS meter just hit the red zone.
    www.tayvalleyfarm.com
    My other home.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  6. #106
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    Mar. 24, 2009
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    653

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    Your post last night was just sick and twisted.


    3 members found this post helpful.

  7. #107
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2002
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    new england,,usa
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    3,625

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    Quote Originally Posted by Brookes View Post
    And if young woman such as you would keep their nasty little legs closed it wouldn't be an issue!!! Selfish selfish selfish! God I hate woman like you!
    sorry this bugs me. in my experience it's married men who coerce and lie and tell stories to trusting naive (usually) younger women.
    i see them as victims more than perps most often in this scenario.

    carry on...


    4 members found this post helpful.

  8. #108
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2000
    Location
    California
    Posts
    7,825

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    Here's what the asshole husband is probably saying to his wife:

    "This crazy bitch keeps texting me wanting to get together - I don't know what is wrong with her, I told her I'm not interested but she won't leave me alone."

    In my household we have a name for people like you, and it isn't nearly as polite as "homewrecker."
    My Mustang Adventures - my blog!
    Yoga for Equestrians
    "A horse's face always conveys clearly whether it is loved by its owner or simply used." - Anja Beran


    8 members found this post helpful.

  9. #109
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    3,875

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    Meh. When I start getting headache it's time to stop listening.
    Really, she's not looking for advice and who posts "I'm going for it" referencing "I'm going to post this subject, see what how riled people get.
    Not much to see here, OP is having her fun in more ways than one.
    Affairs are common enough that there isn't much new.
    I don't see the excitement or schlock( punny, meant to write shock) here anymore than someone posts "every time I go to the all-you-can-eat restaurant I get a sick for two days. What do I do?"


    2 members found this post helpful.

  10. #110
    Join Date
    May. 17, 2010
    Location
    Where humidity isn't just a word, it's a way of life.
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    659

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    OP,
    You don't seem concerned about what you are doing to others; excusing the pain you may be causing his wife and family so you can continue as you wish. That is so sad.

    But did you ever think about what you are doing to yourself?

    I was somewhat involved in a similar situation; I was friends with a cheating wife who decided to come clean to her friends, husband, and everyone all at once when she fell apart at a girls-night-out and spilled her guts. She was LEO, as was her husband and the other MM.

    The stories she was told are exactly the same; wife doesn't care, she just wants his money and benefits, he was faithful to his "new love", he was trying to stay away but "just couldn't", she wanted to end it but felt "addicted", etc.

    When everything came out, it turns out EVERYONE the "other man" was close to knew all about his "fun" with this woman; he shared all sorts of details, made her out to be a hungry slut that wasn't getting enough at home, how he could have her anywhere, anytime, and any way he wanted, laughed about calling her and getting her to jump up to leave her DH and kids and make an excuse to get out to see him, regularly set up meetings to be almost "caught" be someone for the adrenaline rush, you name it.

    It was never about HER; it was the excitement and rush he craved. And he relived that by sharing it with everyone he knew to get another rush.
    You think your "story" isn't getting shared with a round of drinks with his good buddies?

    So if you don't care about the wife and how she may be feeling,
    don't care about the KIDS and what you could be doing to their home life (great way to grow up, surrounded by mistrust and sorrow),

    maybe, just maybe, you'll care enough about yourself to not want to be that pathetic little bar story that gets passed around like you are right now.


    10 members found this post helpful.

  11. #111
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    Jan. 27, 2002
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    new england,,usa
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    3,625

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    whoa, this is super mean but probably super accurate.
    ouch.


    pathetic little bar story that gets passed around like you are right now.[/QUOTE]


    3 members found this post helpful.

  12. #112
    Join Date
    Aug. 5, 2006
    Posts
    5,024

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    Quote Originally Posted by HorseShine View Post
    I smell a troll.
    Yup. People do not feed the troll. I think this poster is definitely seeking attention. But after this post....I call BS Good fictional drama though..,could be a damn good soap opera writer


    2 members found this post helpful.

  13. #113
    Join Date
    Jun. 26, 2001
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    California
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    Quote Originally Posted by suz View Post
    sorry this bugs me. in my experience it's married men who coerce and lie and tell stories to trusting naive (usually) younger women.
    i see them as victims more than perps most often in this scenario.

    carry on...
    It takes two to tango as they say! Unless the woman is sixteen years old she should know that you don't do married men, unless of course she was raised by wolves.

    Yes there are truly some stupid or naive young women out there and they get suckered by dirt bag cheating husbands.

    However, the majority of women that do married men are neither naive or so emotionally damaged that they don't know better. They just don't give a crap who they hurt or what the consequences are of their behaviors are.

    I always thought it was a matter of self respect or lack there of I should say. But sometimes (like with this OP) I think it is just a matter of selfishness. You have the shiny toy that I want and I'm gonna get it!

    The woman that came onto my husband was neither a victim, naive or immature. She was a little bitch shark trolling for a pay day with a successful man. She learned the hard (and I do mean hard) way that you don't mess with other ladies husbands. Luckily my husband is a stand up guy and told her to go pound sand . . . and then she and I had a little chat. That was fun!!! lol!
    Lions and Tigers and Bears, oh my!!


    2 members found this post helpful.

  14. #114
    Join Date
    Feb. 20, 2010
    Location
    All 'round Canadia
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    3,793

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    Quote Originally Posted by dalpal View Post
    Yup. People do not feed the troll. I think this poster is definitely seeking attention. But after this post....I call BS Good fictional drama though..,could be a damn good soap opera writer
    I suspect this is just for drama, but for a different reason.

    In fact what makes no sense is the deal with the vodka and crying. OP apparently has what she wants, or can get it at the drop of a hat. So what's with all the angst, OP? Are you wallowing in it for attention? You've been pretty direct about this set-up being what you want, you keep rationalizing his wife as being the problem and holding onto him just for material goods and not wanting his attention - you should be vodka-drinking in celebration from what I'm reading of your posts. The whining and crying on top of the "this is what I want" is what makes me think this post is just for creating drama.


    2 members found this post helpful.

  15. #115
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 2009
    Location
    New England
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    1,348

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    Quote Originally Posted by badalter View Post
    Plus the drama that goes along with it, hate to admit that, but it's true.
    Well, you're certainly getting drama now!

    If you are telling like it is and I was the "wife", I will make sure we would have a discussion. I will keep my kid, BMW, the house along with a huge monetary settlement, thank you very much.

    Oh, and I hope your place is big enough for him and all of his stuff because it definitely is time to take the trash to the dump. Seems like a fair trade to me!


    6 members found this post helpful.

  16. #116
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    Jun. 27, 2005
    Location
    KY
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    4,474

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    Quote Originally Posted by MoonoverMississippi View Post
    When everything came out, it turns out EVERYONE the "other man" was close to knew all about his "fun" with this woman; he shared all sorts of details, made her out to be a hungry slut that wasn't getting enough at home, how he could have her anywhere, anytime, and any way he wanted, laughed about calling her and getting her to jump up to leave her DH and kids and make an excuse to get out to see him, regularly set up meetings to be almost "caught" be someone for the adrenaline rush, you name it.

    It was never about HER; it was the excitement and rush he craved. And he relived that by sharing it with everyone he knew to get another rush.
    You think your "story" isn't getting shared with a round of drinks with his good buddies?
    Obviously there are grown women who still don't realize that most cheating men are really, really getting a kick out of this.

    Just hang out in a bar long enough and listen to their bragging to their buds.

    ************************
    \"Horses lend us the wings we lack\"


    2 members found this post helpful.

  17. #117
    Join Date
    Aug. 12, 2010
    Location
    Westford, Massachusetts
    Posts
    3,192

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    OP, you say you don't want a relationship, but you ARE in one...it's just a crappy, disrespectful, taking advantage all around one. "I don't want a relationship..." is BS. As is the stuff about your "helping his relationship with his wife". It's all a bunch of BS and I'm not sure why you are posting it here, because you don't want advice or help, I think you just want attention.

    If you really do want a "no strings" attached "sex friends" type relationship with a single guy, those are easy to find. BUT, they require a certain amount of maturity, consideration, honest communication and self-respect on both sides, not something you are ready for.

    My suggestion, stop whining, stop BSing yourself and everyone else about this, get some more therapy and buy yourself a good vibrator.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  18. #118
    Join Date
    May. 13, 2005
    Posts
    420

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    Let's stop this thread!!!!!


    3 members found this post helpful.

  19. #119
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    Mar. 4, 2010
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    1,096

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    Quote Originally Posted by badalter View Post
    LEOs do make money. Lots of it. They start off at 4k a month. and it goes up from there. He's been doing it 20 years. Not to mention benefits and etc out the wazoo.

    I'm not at his beck and call. I prefer being alone, I don't need anybody to go to social functions with. I don't want a 'relationship' regular or otherwise. I like being able to send him home. No laundry, no mess, no fights...its nice in that respect.

    He answers when I call, replies when I text. I don't know how, never asked and don't care. I'd think if the mrs were more concerned it wouldn't be that easy, but that's between them.

    I'm not a troll. Ridiculous. If I were trolling, id make up a way better story than this!
    So now you're driving this relationship? It doesn't sound to me like you're sorry, regretful or anything else. You just don't care about other people, about the wife and the kids. That sounds more like psychopathy to me. It's all about you. What you want, what makes you feel good. You lack any empathy or remorse.

    StG


    1 members found this post helpful.

  20. #120
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    Apr. 28, 2010
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    Atlanta, GA and New Orleans, LA
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    1,575

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    Sorry, this now seems like a troll to me. No one can be this self destructive and stupid.
    Riding a horse is not a gentle hobby, to be picked up and laid down like a game of solitaire. It is a grand passion.... ~ Emerson


    1 members found this post helpful.

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