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  1. #21
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    Oct. 15, 2001
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    Quote Originally Posted by sketcher View Post
    I would imagine that if you are on the lease agreement and walk away and he pays the lease to keep from defaulting, then he might very well be able to come after you for your half. You signed a lease so you need to figure out how to legally get out of it.
    The lease also legally entitles her to inhabit the dwelling. He can't just tell her to leave, but that she has to keep paying.


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  2. #22
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    Dec. 28, 2012
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    Thanks everyone so far, it's really helpful. The more I think about it, the more I'm echoing what a lot of you are saying--that he's being beyond unfair to think that yes, I will literally bankroll his lifestyle for the better part of a year while I'm stuck with my parents unable to pay down debt, save up money, or move out. Just to clarify, I don't actually feel that the breakup is my "fault"--it's all about perception. As far as I'm concerned, it's a two-way street, and we're really just not compatible, in the end. He thinks it's just my fault.

    And to clarify further, the ONLY written agreement we have, period, is with the leasing company. That contract states that rent of $xx must be paid monthly, and that's it. They don't care who's bank account it comes out of (he usually writes the actual check) as long as it's paid. He and I have nothing in writing between us stipulating who owes how much--it's all been a verbal understanding between us for all the years we've lived together.

    I'm just vacillating between being sad that it looks like I'm about to lose a serious, long-term relationship, and angry with him for being such an asshole about the whole thing.



  3. #23
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    Dec. 28, 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by Canaqua View Post
    Does your lease have the "jointly and severally liable" clause in it? When I was renting with roommates, mine all did. It meant that each of us was individually liable for the entire rent. We paid with only one check. Landlord did not care who it came from our how we reimbursed each other, just that he got paid. When someone moved out, whoever stayed had to pay the whole rent. The only one who'd be having to chase down the wayward tenant was their co-tenant, landlord would just collect the rent from the remaining tenant.
    Yes! This is exactly how my lease is set up as well. Leasing company will only come after me if he defaults. The only person who can come after me for "my" half is him.



  4. #24
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    Apr. 15, 2010
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    He can't tell you to leave and then pay the rent too. Get a notice to vacate or something in writing from him that he wants you to leave. Also run ads trying to get a room mate, even though he won't like it or nobody would stay there, at least have some proof that you tried to find somebody and he wouldn't allow them in.



  5. #25
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    Dec. 19, 2008
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    The way I see it, paying rent is for the sole purpose of paying for the privilege of living in the rented space. If you're no longer living in said rented space, you are no longer obligated to pay rent unless your rental agreement stipulates otherwise. If it the contract is "jointly and severally liable" if you move out, you stop paying unless you have a private, signed agreement between you and the other individual(s) sharing the space. No such agreement, you move out and take your money with you. He continues to live there, he assumes the responsibility of the entirety of the rent unless he finds another party to assume your portion of the rental obligation.

    He has options here to be responsible and he's just going to have to exercise those without putting undo burden on you.



  6. #26
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    Jul. 29, 2006
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    Colorado- Yee Haw!
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    I did get a small claims court judgement over a room mate who didn't pay and got us evicted. (I didn't know she wasn't sending a check until the eviction notice showed up.) I was able to work with the landlord to stay and I got a new room mate- but he kept my security deposit to cover her back rent. So I got a judgement against her for it. Then I garnished her pay. She quit that job after a month or two and I never chased her down again. Just letting you know that legally I think he can go after you if you are on the lease. Granted she didn't show up for court so I won automatically. Maybe she could have argued her way out.


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  7. #27
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    Oct. 13, 2007
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    Just so that I understand, you are both on the lease, correct? Is there a early termination option? If so, I would be telling ex that you will be executing the early termination and he will have to be moved out by xxx date. If he does not like that option, then he must work with you & the leasing company to get your name off the lease. If they won't approve him on his own, too bad for him. I would find out from the leasing company if you both sign off if you can be removed from the lease as of xxx date.

    If there is not an option for you to get your name off the lease, I believe you will be on the hook to the management company if you move out and ex does not pay the full rent due until the end of the lease. The management company does not care about the status of your romantic relationship and why you may be leaving. They just expect to be paid through the end of the lease. For all they know you two were just roommates, as you did rent a two bedroom place.

    Now, from a pratical standpoint, if soon to be ex & leasing company will not let you completely out of the lease financially, I would be moving all of Ex's stuff into the second bedroom and putting a new lock on your bedroom. It might not be the most comfortable arrangement for the next 8 months, but you will not be paying a huge chunk of money and getting nothing for it. Added bonus, it might force Ex to make other arrangements for a roommate.

    I think that the jointly and severally liable clauses are more typically seen the i the college apartment arrangements where the complexes rent apartments by the rooms much like dorms. Whenever I have rented as a working adult, just because one roommate moved out, it did not mean that our rent was lowered. We just either needed to replace the roommate or pay more money each.

    OP, I think that the soon to be ex is being a jerk, by telling you to move into your parent's place so that you can continue to pay rent.

    There is a important lesson to be learned for all of us here who have or will rent with roommates, romantic or not, about the necessity of written contracts regarding the rent and who is responsibile in the case of a early move-out or termination. If multiples are on the lease, it does not necessarily limit the liability. If you are the one on the lease for multiple people, you can get stuck with the whole bill.


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  8. #28
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    Apr. 16, 2002
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    It does sound like the soon to be ex-BF is being unreasonable. That said, if he has otherwise been a good, and reasonable guy...he might just be reacting to not only the break up but the impending panic of paying the entire rent or having to deal with all his stuff immediately.

    In any event, I'm not entirely sure that just walking out and leaving him to deal with the problem as of next month is entirely fair or reasonable either. Or likely to do you any good, if he is the type to default, wait and see if they evict him. The management company will then surely come after you.

    I think you need to give him 3 options:

    (1) take over rent himself
    (2) assign the lease
    (3) find a roommate

    Where I live, you have to give your landlord 60 days notice that you want to leave your apartment (unless you are locked into a lease). The notion is, much like boarding, that it takes some time to line up another tenant. I think you should try extending him the same consideration, even if he is being difficult. As I mentioned above, he might be feeling panicked about suddenly being on the hook for the whole rent or feeling completely at a loss at how to deal with all his stuff. I'm a big believer is at least giving the other person some reasonable options even when my first instinct is to be considerably less generous. Fewer bridges get burned and sometimes you can avoid really messy situations.



  9. #29
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    Jun. 26, 2009
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    I'm not a real estate lawyer and the laws of each state vary. However, it seems to me that you could sue him for a partition of your leasehold. A good property lawyer might be able to advise you. Also, as co tenants both of you have the right to live there. Unless he sues for a partition, he can't make you leave (unless your state has some weird law that says otherwise). I think this is really a legal issue and a good lawyer will save you some time, money and grief.



  10. #30
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    Jun. 24, 2006
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    And if he agrees to none of the above, watch The Breakup and immediately get started... joking, unless you are into it, in which case I am dead serious. Make it awkward if you have to.



  11. #31
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    Oct. 14, 2012
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    Take all his s#$@ from the second bedroom and dump it in a pile in his room. Set up shop and don't leave until he can agree to an arrangement where he doesn't get to continue to f&^$ you.


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  12. #32
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    Nov. 30, 2006
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    CA
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    I've been in this situation. My ex and I were renting a house together and were both on the lease, with our own agreement about who paid how much. We didn't have anything in writing, just a verbal agreement after much hemming and hawing about what each of us would pay. (I should have known...)

    Fortunately, we had enough bedrooms, so after we broke up I was able to stay in the house for a few months, until I found somewhere I could rent on my own. By that point he agreed to take over the lease in its entirety and bought me out of the deposit. Initially, he wanted to put me on the hook for it, and there is no way I could have paid for two places, but after the initial anger and emotion wore off, things cooled down.

    I have had to get out of leases before due to things like moves, etc., and have gone the route of helping market the unit and agreeing to frequent showings/open house, etc. in order to help the landlord minimize the time the unit was vacant. Both times I had to do this, they were able to rent my apartment right away and lost minimal income, so it was fine by them and I had no penalty or just a small transfer fee. I think you'd be surprised at what property management companies are prepared to deal with. They really don't care who is paying for the unit as long as it isn't sitting vacant.

    I second the suggestion of working with them to get your ex-BF into a smaller, more affordable unit so you can be on your way. He might not like it, but his options are 1) you live there in your own room, 2) he gets a roommate to take over your part of the lease, 3) he moves. End of story.



  13. #33
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    Dec. 28, 2012
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    Thanks again everyone, all of this has been really helpful. It looks like now he may be willing to just let me out of the lease entirely which certainly makes things easier.

    However now I'm in that stupid backed into a corner situation where I know I should just end it and go but am hesitating--I should have asked for. "Buck it up you idiot!" advice!



  14. #34
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    Mar. 23, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlterN View Post
    Thanks again everyone, all of this has been really helpful. It looks like now he may be willing to just let me out of the lease entirely which certainly makes things easier.
    He can't let you out of the lease if your name is on it - only the landlord can do that. Don't move out without getting that cleared up.



  15. #35
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    Dec. 28, 2012
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    Quote Originally Posted by RainyDayRide View Post
    He can't let you out of the lease if your name is on it - only the landlord can do that. Don't move out without getting that cleared up.
    I'm sorry I should have clarified--typing on my phone. Let me out of the lease by going through the landlord. I'm still not convinced he'll do it as I don't trust him but it does give me some peace of mind for now.



  16. #36
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    Jun. 19, 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by AlterN View Post
    I'm sorry I should have clarified--typing on my phone. Let me out of the lease by going through the landlord. I'm still not convinced he'll do it as I don't trust him but it does give me some peace of mind for now.
    You want buck up advice: you don't trust him to be true to his word or behave with maturity and respect for you. Buck up. You're worth way more! But you know that already, and that the band aid is best pulled off fast. Good luck.



  17. #37
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    Oct. 12, 2005
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    Make sure you get it in writing!



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